Just found out I'm pregnant. Please help anyone.



  • I've just found out I'm pregnant and it's a pretty dire situation. I'm alone. Not doing very well financially.

    I know I can figure it all out. Somehow. And my first thought is to keep the baby. Although I don't think it's fully hit me yet.

    Can someone please take a look at what will happen now? How will the father of the baby take the news? Will I be completely alone through all of this?

    Thank you x



  • You have to give the father the chance to 'man up' and do his bit. After all he is partly responsible. Even if he only contributes some money, at least it will be something. I do feel he won't want much else to do with it and may even suggest you terminate.

    I feel you are repeating your mother's life because it was imprinted on you early that that was how life was - a mother struggling on her own. But you have to strive to change the outcome for yourself and not end up the same way



  • While I may have inherited some things from my mother, we are very different people. And while I've been trying to avoid all my life the family model we had, fact is that even though I didn't plan it, I am now pregnant. I know that I can handle this situation if I have to. Question is do I want to? And I do. I don't want to get rid of him.

    When youre my age and you've had the health problems I've had, you don't get an abortion and risk never being able to conceive again. And I don't expect the father to change his mind. I just wanted reassurance that he is not going to hate me and stop being my friend because of this.

    Plenty of single mothers find wonderful partners and I have to believe that this will also be the case for me. I've always done things in a weird order to what is considered 'normal' but that doesn't mean it's worse or wrong because of it.



  • The father is going to feel uncomfortable over the pregnancy and feel pressured to be responsible. But your idea of responsibility and his may be quite different. It is likely to put a strain on the relationship but he has to be told.

    Let me know how it goes!



  • Well I don't want anything from him that he doesn't want to give. So he should feel quite free to come and go as he pleases. (not that I would refuse his help)

    I can only tell him what's in my thoughts of course. I can't change what he feels I guess...

    I love him very much but surely he can't ask me to kill something that is so special.



  • Is he single - because I feel like he is attached.