The Captain's Blog
Good message Captain....very applicable to me right now. :0)
Yes Captain applicable to me as well!
I recently read a book by Brandon Bays called The Journey, on self healing, or rather the ability of the human soul to bring about cellular healing. Have you read it or maybe someone else on the forum?
The book is inspiring and the the sentence I liked best was: "You are the love you are seeking"
No I haven't read it but it sounds very encouraging.
I do believe we have all the wisdom we need to solve all our problems. We just have to believe in and expand our awareness of our capability so that it encompasses the solutions we seek. We DO have all the answers we need inside, but fear and doubt can 'blind' us at times.
Only half a day (for me) before the 21st December 2012 arrives! Tomorrow the Sun moves into Capricorn, the Winter Solstice begins in the Northern hemisphere, and the Summer Solstice here in Australia. Exciting...a new 25,920 year cycle begins as we return to year zero on the Mayan long count calendar.
The end of the world - as we know it. A whole new start - are we all ready for it?
Well...can't say that I ever believed the world would end...just the thought processes behind how we got here. As I am freezing sitting under blankets and got my slippers on...I would love to be enjoying the summer with you! I'm a Cancer so we love all things summer. :0) Have a great day.
Me, I prefer the cold - it's stinking hot here.
A pessimist often focuses negatively on the lack or emptiness in their life. That is where an optimist differs so greatly, by seeing not lack or emptiness but opportunity and advantage.
If you want to live more positively, try to see why the things you want might not be present in your life right now when you seem to need them. For example, if you have no money/job/love at present, instead of feeling sad and bad about it, try to find the positive in what you are experiencing.
A lack of a job gives you a lot of free time to do the things you would not have time for if you were working - time to volunteer or complete that study course or craft or psychic ability training or spring cleaning or travel or exercise routine or whatever you have been putting off until you had the time or energy. Or even just the peace you have needed for so long, to be out and away from the rat race, to walk in nature and spend time with your children, partner or pets.
A lack of a partner in your life gives you the time to focus on your relationship with yourself - to learn who you really are and what you really want, to truly love and appreciate yourself, and to work through your issues before you inflict them on a partner.
A lack of money may be giving you the space and understanding to use your creativity to get the things you want without paying a lot (or even for free), to appreciate those things that don't cost anything but are the most valuable, or to help you see all that you can be without money - or a job or a partner.
The universe abhors a vacuum, but it does grant the gift of peace and quiet, and the space to breathe and find your authentic self and direction. It may be that all the 'clutter and noise' has been moved out of your life to help you see things more clearly.
If you perceive an apparent emptiness in your life, don't panic! Ask spirit for the reason and purpose. If you have 'room' in your life, ask what it is you are supposed to be doing with this 'space' or 'pause' (which is all it is), how and what to fill it up with, and explore the joys and wonders it can bring if used wisely and with trust. Use your wit and creativity to enrich any void you might feel you have in your life, so that instead of feeling it is all rather pointless and hopeless, you see the true grand purpose and loving support behind everything. Nothing is ever taken away from us without a good reason.
If possessions or people have been blinding you to your true path and self, then you now have the clarity and space to grow and become wise. Living 'minimally' can be a great way to keep your life and outlook simple, to understand what is really important and what is superfluous. Trust that you are being given exactly what you need right now.
I will happily switch places with you Captain. Another cold night here under blankets. Freezing. :0)
What a great message to start out seeing the world in a new light. I see you are posting so the end is not here. As I expected. I know that the lack of money has taught me to be more frugal about what I need verses what I want. It was and continues to be a good lesson for me.
Yes, no sign of the end of the world yet and it is already 4 pm here in OZ on 21st December 2012. Maybe it has to be the 21st everywhere for the changes to begin???
It's 1:15AM in New York- as for the moment nothing happening here either!
It's now the 22nd here and there is a subtle difference that I feel in the air - a lightness that was not there before...
Many people are proclaiming the 21st was a bust because the world didn't end. Would they have been happier if it did?
But Carlos Barrios from the World Council of Mayan Elders and the author of "Book of Destiny: Unlocking the Secrets of the Ancient Mayans and the Prophecy of 2012", is an expert on the Mayan calendar and a shaman. When it comes to the Mayan Apocalypse, he's kind of a big deal. He says that December 21 was never the end, but rather, a beginning.
"The Mayan people and elders are very upset that people have said they believe the end of this calendar cycle is the end of the world," he said. "It is the end of one cycle and the beginning of another." Mr Barrios says the ‘Long Count' calendar – the Mayan calendar that ended yesterday, prompting global speculation that the end was nigh – just marks 5200-year cycles. As one cycle ends, the next begins. "The first cycle had a dominant feminine energy and was associated with fire. The second cycle had a male dominant energy and was associated with earth. The third cycle was once again feminine and associated with air. The fourth cycle, the one we are concluding, was male energy associated with water," he said.
"The new cycle that begins on the 21st will be a cycle of balanced male and female energy with a new element of ether. This is not a time of apocalypse. It is a time to let go of old patterns. A time to heal the planet. The changes will be profound but gradual and subtle. The Mayans do not want people to believe this is the end of the world. They want people to take this very rare opportunity to come together to find balance and work to health the damage we have done to Mother Earth."
Let's hope it is the end of the world - as we know it - and onto a better one!
Inspiration for the new year/era:
How to Create a More Loving Relationship with Others
by Gina Lake
One of the most powerful things you can do to improve any relationship and to increase the amount of happiness you feel is to not get involved with your judgments. Be aware of judgmental thoughts (notice them when they arise in your mind), accept that they are there (don't think they shouldn't be there), and then choose to not dwell on them or give voice to them. Judgments are probably the one thing that interferes most with love and sustaining relationships. Judgments and the criticism that flows from them kill love. Even small doses of criticism when engaged in day in and day out can poison a relationship. They kill the love that is there and leave anger, resentment, and hurt in its place. So the very first principle for a more loving relationship is to ignore your judgments and don't express the criticism that is the natural result of judgment.
There are a several reasons why judgments are difficult to ignore. First of all, because they arise in our mind, we assume our judgments are true and meaningful representations of "our truth," while judgments actually come from a small, petty, and unwise part of ourselves: our conditioned self, or ego. Judgments never reflect our true nature, our essential self, or what I like to call Essence. We assume our judgments serve a purpose, but they don't achieve what we hope they will achieve, which is changing someone or something. People rarely change because they are judged, and if they do, that change comes at the expense of love and trust. Judgments are a way of bullying our partner to change in ways we want him or her to change, and that is not a loving act.
If love and relationship are important to you, which they must be, since you are reading this, love and relationship have to become more important than having your way, more important than your conditioning and how you like things done. The way you put love first is to refuse to get involved in the judgments that pop into your mind and, above all, don't speak them. The reason to not get involved with your judgments mentally is that doing so leads to believing them and speaking them. The more you dwell on a judgment, the more real and true it seems. Judgments cause us to feel bad about someone (and bad about ourselves), so we naturally want to do something to change that person so that we no longer have to feel bad.
There is a better and more effective way to feeling good, and that is to realize that you don't have to change anything or anyone except your relationship to your own thoughts. All that has to change is your relationship to the judgments that arise in your mind. You can believe them and try to change the world to fit them, or you can see the truth about them, which is that they have no intrinsic value or truth. If a judgment arises, notice it, recognize it as a judgment and as therefore not worth your attention, and then leave it alone. Put your attention on something else, like something you appreciate about your partner, or about anything else.
Another reason judgments are hard to ignore is that they give us a sense of being right and being better than or superior to another. This superiority and self-righteousness feels good to the ego. That is the payoff for judging and one reason we judge and continue to do so even when we see that judging and criticizing is not getting us what we want from the other person, including that person's love. When we choose to judge someone, we settle for this feeling of superiority and self-righteousness instead of love and the good feelings that come from being loving, kind, accepting, and understanding.
We tend to make this choice instead of being loving because it is our default position as human beings; it is the path of least resistance. We are programmed to not make the most loving choice, oddly enough. So to get what we all really want, which is to be loving and to be loved, we have to learn to overcome some of the negative programming we have that keeps us making choices that are destructive to our relationships.
A big reason we don't ignore judgments is that most of us are not that aware of what is going on in our mind. We tend to accept the thoughts that go through our mind and act on them or speak them without questioning them first. We don't tend to ask ourselves if what we're thinking is true or useful. We often don't question what the result will be if we believe our thoughts and act on or give voice to them. The trouble with this is that our thoughts are often unkind and untrue, and responding to them without evaluating them first results in a lot of trouble and pain to ourselves and others. Becoming more loving is largely a matter of becoming more conscious of what we are thinking, and then choosing a more loving response than the automatic one, which is likely to be the ego's response.
The ego is a primitive aspect of ourselves that is shortsighted and out for itself. It doesn't see the whole picture or value love's very important role in life. It is, in fact, the enemy of love. The ego's point of view as well as our conditioning are reflected in our thoughts about ourselves, others, and life. The ego's voice is the mental commentary we all are so familiar with, which seems at times like our own voice and at other times like someone else speaking to us. This aspect of the mind that chatters on and on is often called the egoic mind, and it reflects the false self, not Essence.
Another thing that makes judgments difficult to ignore is that we assume that judgments and criticism are a perfectly acceptable and valid form of communication, since they are so common. It is part of our culture to judge, to express opinions about anything and everything. It almost seems like it's our duty to judge, as if we are not being discriminating if we don't point out the flaws of something or someone. However, the truth is that pointing out flaws, criticizing, and having an opinion are the easiest things in the world to do. What's difficult is being loving, accepting, and moving beyond our judgments, beliefs, and other conditioned ways of being. That is our challenge as human beings - to become more loving, not to complain, judge, and try to change others to suit our preferences. Loving is a matter of moving beyond our personal preferences and judgments enough to let love flow to another, enough to allow ourselves to see another's beauty, not the flaws.
The truth is that judgments don't just hurt others, they hurt us to have them. When we are feeling judgmental and critical, we feel small, petty, unhappy, angry, and unkind, even though we may enjoy the feeling of being superior or right. Judging and criticizing others leaves us feeling bad about ourselves, and this may drive us to tear others down even more, creating a vicious cycle of negativity. This is not how we want to feel, and it isn't how we want to make others feel; and yet, that is what happens. Our judgments cause us and those we're judging to feel unhappy and unloving. That is the opposite of what we all want!
Notice how you feel the next time you catch yourself judging and criticizing someone, including those you aren't even close to, such as people in the media. Judgment and criticism don't feel good, and you don't have to feel that way. We have the power to choose not to judge and criticize (internally or externally), and when we make that choice, it is possible to get in touch with who we really are - with Essence. Essence is an experience of contentment, peace, joy, happiness, awe, love, gratitude, and wonderment. That is who we really are, and the only thing that can obscure our true nature is believing the ego's negative evaluations and stories about everyone and everything. Change in the world can still happen without our judgments because the wisdom that is our true nature moves us to act wisely and lovingly in the world. Our judgments only interfere with that.
Because judging and criticizing is the path of least resistance, it can take some practice to choose to be loving and accepting over the usual criticisms. But the more you choose love, the easier it becomes to choose it again, and the weaker the habit of criticism becomes. If you fully absorb this first principle, it will change your life. You don't need your judgments. You have never needed your judgments. They have never served you, but only obscured and undermined the love, wisdom, and happiness that are possible. Love and happiness are possible because it is your true nature to love and to experience happiness, peace, and joy.
Practices: To be done throughout the week:
1. Whenever you feel an urge to judge someone, examine the conditioning (e.g., desires, beliefs, opinions, preferences, fears, expectations, demands) behind that judgment. Every judgment is a disguised "should" or "should not." What "should" or "should not" are you imposing on your partner? Our judgments are an attempt to get another person to change his or her behavior so that we don't have to feel the discomfort that our own conditioning is causing. When others do things we don't like, that is, when they don't conform to our conditioning, we feel afraid, angry, ashamed, or embarrassed. In an attempt to get rid of these feelings, we try to change people by judging or criticizing them: "If only he or she would change, I wouldn't feel this way!" Notice how your judgments are an attempt to ease the discomfort that is caused by your own conditioning - not by the other person, but by your desires and demands that other people be a certain way.
2. If a judgment arises, just let it be there without doing anything about it. What is that like to just let that judgment be there? Your ego won't want you to stay with this exercise. It may try to talk you out of just being with the judgment, or it might offer a more concealed judgment or one that sounds a little nicer. Are there feelings that accompany this judgment? Just let them be here as well without doing anything else with them. The more you practice noticing your judgments and feelings and just letting them be there without doing anything else, the weaker these judgments and feelings will become. What empowers our thoughts and feelings is acting them out. If you don't want to be at the mercy of your negative thoughts (judgments) and feelings, then just let them come and go in your mind without identifying with them or giving voice to them. Don't fight with them or push them away, but allow them the space to come and go, as all thoughts naturally do. Your thoughts c! ome out of nowhere and disappear into nowhere. You have the ability to empower them by giving them your attention or dis-empower them by not giving them your attention, which is accomplished by giving your attention to something else.
Explorations: Do just one of these explorations a day. When you've finished all three explorations, go back to each one and see if you can uncover any further insights.
1. There are certain judgments and criticisms you have about your partner or other people that come up again and again and are probably causing conflict, stress, and a shutting down of love between you. What are they? Take some time to contemplate this. Make a list of them. What if you didn't have these judgments and the feelings that go with them? What would that be like? And what if you never expressed your judgments or criticisms? What would that be like? How would you feel? How would that change your relationship?
2. Look carefully at any resistances you may have to ignoring and not speaking the judgments and criticisms you have. What are you afraid will happen if you give up judging and criticizing? Are you afraid you will be a doormat, you will be unhappy, you will be taken advantage of, you will not be in control, you will lose power in the relationship? Is it your way of being strong? Is it your way of being smart? Is it your way of proving that you are an individual? How do you believe your judgments are serving you? What are you getting out of judging and criticizing? Spend at least ten minutes contemplating this question because it is a very important one. There are reasons, although mistaken ones, for clinging to our judgments and criticisms. Once we really see how ineffective and destructive our judgments are, they lose their power to capture our attention and make us do their bidding.
3. What are the negative ramifications of judging and criticizing? Does your partner or whoever fire back with criticisms? Does your partner or the other person withdraw, disengage? How does judging and criticizing make you feel about yourself? What is your self-image like when you are criticizing someone? Are you The Bitch, The Complainer, The Whiner, The Martyr, The Wronged One, The Raging Maniac, The Self-Righteous One, The Mother Hen, The Drama Queen, The Emasulator, The Boss, The Avenger, The Victim, or some other image? Our ego takes on these personas, but we are not our ego, and we can choose to not identify with and act out these personas. Our judgments cause negative feelings within ourselves and others' anger, resentment, hatred, desire for revenge, and even guilt and shame - and negative feelings are not only exhausting, but also can lead to physical illness. They shut down our own heart and the hearts of those around us. What price are you paying for your judgments and criticism? What is the cost to your relationships? Is it worth it?
Great article Captain. When reading this I really thought about where my judgments are directed and lately....in my car against other drivers. Which is really odd for me because I am usually the let them go and do whatever type person behind the wheel. Lately? In my mind....there are a whole lot of people out there that don't drive as well as they could. Mostly the distracted ones that bother me. I'll have to look at some of the principles in the article and see if I can find the underlying issue there. Another that of course struck home was the self-judgment. That one is a struggle with myself.
Because judging and criticizing is the path of least resistance, it can take some practice to choose to be loving and accepting over the usual criticisms. But the more you choose love, the easier it becomes to choose it again, and the weaker the habit of criticism becomes. "
So simple and so true!
Very true Haunted Lady....
I just wanted to hop on and wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I know it's already that time for you Captain! Have a very blessed day. Love and light...
Captain I feel very anxious about my future. I have spoken to you before. I hope you can give me some insight or advice on where I should be leaning regarding relationships. Thanks.