Why Men Do Not Commit
Article by numerologist Mike Madigan
Have you ever been with a guy who seems afraid to commit? Maybe you've dated a guy for years and he just never seems to want to take things to the next level. Or perhaps you're married, and while he wears the ring on his finger ... His heart just hasn't made that commitment yet and you feel your marriage isn't on solid ground.
In this article, I'm going to try my best to shed some light on how the male mind works and why
some men are not ready for commitment.
There are 9 main reasons why your man may not want to commit to you. Some of these have nothing to do with you, it's just where he is at in his life. Others are things that you are doing, so make sure you pay close attention.
1. You're hinting too aggressively
Men need to feel like commitment is their idea, even if pressuring them into committing to you works (some women hint very aggressively until they get engaged), this may lead to resentment and lack of REAL commitment and faithfulness long term. I've seen some guys date girls for 3+ years, only to get engaged to the next one who comes along even though they've only been dating for 6 months. Often the next one who comes along is seen as less 'suffocating' due to less commitment pressure. Or it's simply due to the fact that they are now ready for commmitment when in the past they were not. Hinting or talking about commitment once isn't a bad thing, but if you find yourself doing it week in, week out, it's likely to be doing more harm than good. You
may simply be with the wrong person if you feel a need for more commitment right now. If he wants to commit to you, then allow him to get to that stage on his own.
2. You don't support his ambitions and/or don't make him feel appreciated enough
Men need their egos stroked, and for him to feel like you are 'the one' it will help a lot if you can notice all the good things he does (and his body if you like it, etc). It is also incredibly important that you don't try to change him too much, support him in his dreams, whatever they may be (starting his own company, travelling the world, etc). It sounds obvious, but there are a lot of women out there who try to mould their man into the man they wished they were, rather than supporting them in being the best version of themselves that they can be.
3. He hasn't grown up enough yet.
Men can take a little longer to grow up than women. It takes a certain amount of maturity to get to the point of commitment, and he may not be quite there yet. An immature man can rarely consider the wants and needs of others above his own.
4. The sex isn't good enough
Sad but true! If he has had a partner before with whom with the sex was better, or more frequent, this can make him nervous about committing to you forever. If you feel that sex isn't important, then that attitude could well be a reason for lack of long term commitment.
5. There's someone else.
Hopefully this isn't the case, but it is possible he has someone else on his mind, leaving him confused about what kind of future he wants for you and him. It is also possible he is not over his ex partner, or doesn't see you as better than them (men want to commit to the best they've ever had).
6. He has other priorities.
He balances out everything - work, family, and friends. If he feels he's got other areas in his life that require more attention, then that will come first and he will think of you later.
7. His close friends haven't committed yet.
The majority of men will want to commit eventually. But he may not have wanted to be the first one out of his group of friends, feeling like he misses out on anything with his single friends.
8. Loss of free time.
He likes time to himself and to do his own thing. Serious relationships take up an enormous amount of time and energy and he doesn't want that kind of pressure.
9. His history.
When you learn about his past relationships, and his childhood ones, then you may understand why he can't commit to you. He could be swearing off new relationships because of pain
that was caused by a previous breakup. He may need a little extra time until he feels safe in his new relationship with you.
I hope you found great value in this article. Men really can be this screwed up.
**** = sex.
smokingvirgo last edited by
Weird I just got this email too!! I watched the video too, pointless ad!!!
Here is what I don't get. Two people like eachother, they get to know eachother, one person actually shares their feelings and the other person runs off?!?! What can you do?? push them away, act like a b-t-ch to them?? Why can't people just be honest with eachother from the get go and see where it will take off. Rather "oh that was too easy to get her to like me, go find someone who is more challenging"
I don't think men are screwed up, but definitely confusing !!! They want love and affection just like women, you just have love them in a different way. I think?!
I think we are all either screwed up or screwed over, men no more than women, but life is about learning to un-screw ourselves and become happy, powerful individuals.
Tellstar last edited by
I see it as fear of responsibility. Men are afraid to find out that they cannot love as much as you love them or expect them to love you back; fear of not being able to give you the best things in life; fear of losing his "unique" self in order to make you happy; fear of obligations he needs to fulfill that competes with his personal ( ego ) needs. Women, on the other hand only fear that they pick the wrong guy who will not give her all that she needs. So, women are better at committing themselves to their guys ( well because they think all they need to do in the relationship is to take care of their men.) Men are expected by the society to be the provider. How good a provider they would be as a married man puts them under scrutiny.
Women already have in their mind love me, listen to me, take care of me,show me,
provide for me, etc. so the men sensed these and get scared away. Can you blame them?
SO MEN TAKE THEIR TIME
I think the best mantra is to wish the guy peace, love & happiness so they get a good energy
from you and will responds in a better way instead of me, me,me,me, me,me,me, me, me, me,
I agree with Magickal here. I think too many women have become as selfish as men used to be, and are forgetting that relationships are two way. I read some wise words - and I think it was on here - that said we should only want from a man what we're prepared to give in return. And in these modern times, why on earth are we asking men to provide for us when we are independent, strong women who provide for ourselves anyway? Are we going to give all that up once a man comes along? What a huge responsibility to place on his shoulders, and how much are we undervaluing our efforts at independence and strength if we give all that up because a man has come along?
We haven't come as far as we have to have the scales tip the other way. EQUALITY is what women have been after all these years, not dominance. Give and take.
It's all about coming into your own power, isn't it? And of course recognizing that you do have that power.
I guess it is about power to a degree. What gets me though, is that a single, middle-aged woman who is reasonably strong and independent seems to draw the weak, needy men of which there are many in that age group. So, no wonder nunneries are overflowing and the lesbian community grows in number haha
l e s b i a n ... good God, what is wrong with that word being posted??
amused59 last edited by
Moon50, silly what gets blocked at times!
I have wondered the same thing about who we attrract
at times. I have to believe there are evolved middle age
single men out there. Maybe they're wondering the same
about us?? As you have mentioned before I have asked the
Universe to send me who I need & am hopeful that will
Include a new man who is ready for me vs the manchild types
I've had in my life. New friends are always welcome too.
Hard to be patient....... That lesson again d*#n just keeps coming back!
The weak are always attracted to the strong, just as the strong feel the need to help the weak. The tricky part is knowing when you are strong enough not to need any more help or when to stop helping someone because they have become dependent on you.
True. I did this with friends years ago who I was constantly lending money to. They paid it back, but kept getting into more and more debt. I finally told them that they needed to stop living above their means; that I couldn't help them anymore.
As for emotionally where men are concerned, I've had my share of the weak ones in my life, and don't want anymore; I'm sick of being sucked dry.
Although, weak or not, I could do with a rich one at the moment!! Or to win the lottery, but that's a pipe dream
Anyway, onwards and upwards. I've got better things to do than waste my time on idiots. HOWEVER, a rich idiot could come in handy hahahaha!
sadsag last edited by
I also wonder about middle age men. Are there any out there that are willing and able to be in an equal partnership? I seem to find the weak or broken ones. I don't need to be taken care of, i can take care of myself, but I do need someone who can be honest and committed in a relationship. The ones I have met just seem to be running in fear of being intimate or hurt or whatever. They should come with a warning label!