Confused and worried, can anyone shed some light?



  • Hi,

    If anyone is able to shed some light on my situation I would really appreciate it. I recently split with a partner but we are still 'friends'. I feel sometimes he is just using me but am finding it hard to move on. Been on a few dates but all I do is compare them to him and even though they have been very nice men still am not interested. I am a single parent as well and work full time, recently have been put off on stress leave from my job as there have also been issues there. I am worried about my situation there and really want things resolved but they are moving very slowly. My birthdate is 6th Jan 63.

    My friend gave me a reading early this year and said all my battles were behind me... this so far has not been the case and would really like some insite on what is going.

    Thank you in advance if anyone picks up anything from me.

    Love n Light



  • Hi, I feel that the only thing I can do is pray that God removes all obstacles that are causing you pain in the name of Jesus. Also, for your happiness and continued growth. I'll continue to pray for you.



  • Thank you for your love and kindness Dalia. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.



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  • It is important to remember that this person is just a tiny spec in the grand scheme of your life. I am not trying to diminish the importance of the ending of your relationship, rather, I am trying to get you to see that you were a person long before this relationship came along. Go back, find that person and get yourself back to a happier time before this heartbreak. I can't even count the number of times I have given this advise on this site. Truly though, if we don't let go of an old flame ASAP, it sometimes prolongs the grieving process and the ability to move on to something much bigger and better in life. Let your grief go and start letting the newness of a new love in your life. This can only happen once you let go of your own old baggage.



  • Wow, so weird--I felt drawn to your post--I haven't been in the forums for so long too...something told me to take a peek. Anyway, I got chills when I opened yours...my birthdate is Jan.9, 1963....you're 3 days older than me...LOL...

    As far as your situation, I have been there before, almost consumed by failing relationships...and the friendship thing usually doesn't work-he wants the cake and eat it to--freedom to date around, but hang onto the semi-relationship he has with you...I have been down this road after my divorce, and was a single mom too at the time...had alot of stress with my job, and overwhelming emotional issues, due to it all--so I know where you're coming from....but you need to prioritize....you need to clean out all the negativity, release the current relationship with this man, and focus on yourself and your children--get strong mentally and physically...once you focus and clean up the clutter in your life, you will find a clear direction....Hugs, to you, Lee~*



  • Enchanted you are, my dear one. You, like so many, are dwelling on the past. You mean not to do this, but hold roots to long ago. One cannot move forward without letting go. That merely means you have a choice. It is entirely up to you. "letting go" does not mean forgetting, but simply forgiving. I sense some deep seeded need for you to "hold on", but to what? You have to decide what you are tired of and willing to banish. As in my faith, forgiving yourself should come first. Forgive yourself of any mistakes you have made in the past. Take the past in your hand and throw it to the winds. Let it fly away. Like a boat on the ocean, set your sails and let the wind guide you. "one cannot change the direction of the wind, but they can always adjust their sails". Reach deep into your soul. Seek out the woman you want to be, and let your inner voice guide you. Forgive and let go, everything else will fall into place. Blessed be you.



  • Hi Lee,

    The wonder of the net... lol.. my middle name is Lianne. Yes spooky. I am doing all I can to get back to myself and heal my relationship with myself, my counsellor has told me we had a co dependant relationship and I knew it. I was the one who told him to go. I am the one who is finding it hard to let go. Sounds stupid but part of the co dependancy. Have a meeting with my boss tommorrow and hopefully things at work will be resolved. I love my job and the good I am able to do for people. I work for the govt in a very responsible role. Help people who are out of work and on the bread line. It was really nice to get your post... strength comes from within but is greater when you know there are those out there who really care for our fellow human beings.

    Thank you for your words of caring and love.

    Love and light

    Miriam : >



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  • Hi Cancerian Queen,

    Yes my roots do go deep and I have been here for a long time. This life time I am ment to find a balance between serving the community and finding self happiness with my own family. ie. self. I have been working on these issues for years and every time I get close I get scared as deep down I dont believe I deserve to be happy. That has to change. As I said in one of my earlier posts I was the one who ended the relationship... only to want to run back but all the while knowing its not what I want and he needs to do things for himself and change bad habbits that keep him locked into his circle of destruction. Knowledge is not enough sometimes.. he is also a Cancerian by the way, and althought yes was reserved, he made a commitment to me after us being off and on for 6 mths. We were planing to find a house together and plan our future. The gambling scared the heck outta me though. I probably should have shared more of my thoughts with him but was quite reserved.. not sure why.

    Thank you for your words of wisdom. They are very much appreciated as are all those who have taken the time to answer to me.

    Love n Light

    Miriam 😆



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  • Hi again,Miriam,

    Wow--Lianne is your middle?? LeeAnn is my full name...LOL...yeah, wild, for sure. What state are you in?? And YW--I know what it's like to be a bit (ok, alot!) confused and need support--it all just really hit home with me...had alot of flashbacks...hope all goes well with your boss--and sounds like you're doing a noble job...I would like to get into massage and/or reflexology...and possibly Reiki too. I like helping others also, and would like to put the gifts God gave me to good use...good luck to you and may the rough waters calm soon for you...(((HUGS))) LeeAnn~*



  • Hey Lee : >

    I am in New Zealand. Was in oz for 20 years and have been home now for 2. I sorted out a heap of things with my boss today and got some issues resolved in terms of my work situation which was a load off my mind. I am back to work next week and really looking fwd to it. A lot of people consider my job in terms of the clientelle hard, but I really enjoy that side of things as I am a very sociable person and love helping those who are in need. Doing practical things for people in the community is somthing I get great satisfaction with. Yes, we are similar in many ways.. I find it hard to walk away from relationships and tend to be a bit blindsided when it comes to their faults, but I know no one is perfect and everyone has issues. Just his were blanketed with secrecy as he found it hard to open up to me. I'm an open book and have the paitence of a flee at the best of times when it comes to communication. Something I work on constantly.. lol.. with little change. ... ((((hugs)))) Mirs : >



  • Namaste Miriam

    I would like to say thankyou for the kind words you gave in reply. I, like yourself, found myself thwarted into relationships long ago that I could not understand why it was I continued to put myself through. It wasn't until I evaluated myself that the answers came. They come in many forms, and are very secretive at times, but there just the same. I began to understand that there were no real answers for me then because I was not asking the right questions of myself. I always wanted to know why I had the problems I did, when instead of I should have been asking who was I and what did I truly want. Where had I been, and where did I want to go? I began to realize that everything I had been doing to that point was a repeated cycle. The men in my life were all the same. All wrapped up in different packages, yet the product within the wrapper were all the same. I looked back to my upbringing, and for the fist time in my life, I realized where and when the cycle began. Is there a point in your life that you can pinpoint that you see was the beginning of taking you to where you are now? You, and only you, can figure that out. But, you are also the key to changing it. It's never easy, but realizing that you are where and who you have become is because of the choices you once made are the first step. You have the ability to get what you want in this life, be it love, money or a sense of peace. I think you should start with inner peace. Forgiving ones self is the hardest thing any of us can do because we feel at times that we are not worthy of it. Life is not good nor is it bad...it simply is. It is a balance that many do not understand exists. You cannot have one without the other. Just as you cannot appreciate day without having first journeyed through night, life makes sure that you journey through dark before your heart stakes claim to the joy of light. We are merely souls wandering through this time in search of answers. But the key to finding what we want is to acknowledge the fact that there truly are no real answers. There are decisions. Decisions that push us forward toward whatever goals we set for ourselves. My sweet one, please look deep within yourself and realize that you are something wonderful. Your soul is something special, and it will guide you into the next life. Understand that the choices you make are not good nor are they bad, they just are. Find your balance. Trust your instinct to forgive yourself, and move on. Do not dwell on the past, nor it's negativity. Gain enlightenment, accept yourself. Balance comes from within, not your surroundings. Start with making peace with yourself, it is simply the truest of friends that your soul will ever know. Safe journey Miriam. Blessed be you and those you hold dear within your heart. So mote it be. -CQ-



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  • Hi,

    When I look at you I see that "relationships with men" should be the last thing on your list of to dos. You have some serious housekeeping issues....No I don't mean clean up, I mean you are wrestling with a growth period right now. I like to call them Life lessons. When it is over you will be a different better person. Step away from your situation, and try to look clearly here. I see crossroads on your path you are at a fork, there is a decision to be made. One road is very dark the other offers light. I need to reiterate here, Dating should not be in the for front. Ive never seen such a path. I think if you go the wrong way, you will head into another life lesson, and battle depression and illness. don't fret there is an end to every "growth period" This one would be a long one though. Seance you haven't gone down yet I cant see the end. Message me in a few weeks after you feel the tides have changed. Stop dating this is not a good time to put yourself out there, you are broken and the people your dating can feel that. Take care of yourself and eat for your heath. I feel a vitamin deficiency with you. Concentrate on yourself and your child. I hear David.

    Blessings,

    lynnred



  • Hi Lynred,

    Thanks for your insite. I have been thinking along the same lines for the last week. I have started taking Potasium and keep being shown multivitimins as yes, I am lacking and it is causing me to be somewhat unbalanced. I have suffered depression before and have no desire to go down that path again. But it is up to me to keep an even balance at the moment. I am back at work on monday and have some trepidation regarding what will happen over the next few weeks. I have brought a book called "The Winners Bible"and have started reading it as it offers practical advice on dealing with our past and who we are, also how to really improve ourselves. It offers some quite challenging tasks to enable a person to truly find out strengths and weaknesses. I will message you in a few weeks once I have more of a clear picture of what is ahead and perhaps the decisions I will be facing. I was no aware there would be decisions and choices to be made so have found this interesting.

    Love and light

    Miriam : >



  • Hi again Mirs,

    I've heard New Zealand is beautiful. I'm in the New England area of the States...we were down south for 2 yrs., but wasn't for us...we're hardcore northerners, and have a new appreciation of home.

    Glad you layed the cards on the table with your boss...must be a great load lifted off you...good luck in your work and with your friend too--hopefully you have a clearer picture of where he stands with you--affairs of the heart are always so difficult to sort out. Your mind tries to be so logical about things, but the heart usually always takes over....take care, Hugs, LeeAnn~*



  • Hi Leeann,

    How true, yes I have sorted most things out with work, now just the personal... we will see. Hope you are doing well.

    Love Miriam 😆


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