Frustrated, looking for answers...



  • Does anyone have an affirmation or a way to get my ex-husband and his frustrating family to leave me and my children alone...I just want to move forward and can not (and do not want to) deal with any more of their behavior, actions, etc. any more!!! 😞 My Ex-husband is a drug addict who keeps re-offending and his family believes his lies over me every time...I am just done with it all... 😞 I would like to know if there is a way (either psychically, or legally) to remove them from our existance completely? Too worn out to deal with them any more...any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you for your time,

    Laci



  • Bump if anyone has a free moment please. 🙂

    Thankyou,

    Laci



  • This recent DailyOm post may help, Laci -

    "The Upside of Irritation

    There are many stories of spiritual masters embracing the presence of an annoying student in their community. There is even one story that documents a teacher paying an irritating person to live among his students. From an everyday perspective, this is difficult to comprehend. We generally work hard to avoid people and things that we find annoying so they don't bother us.

    From a deeper spiritual perspective, however, irritation can be an important teacher and indicator that we are making progress on our path. Being able to remain centered and awake even when we feel uncomfortable is much more impressive than doing so in an environment where everything is to our liking. No matter how good we are at controlling our circumstances, there will always be factors and people that we cannot control. How we respond to these experiences to a great degree determines the quality of our lives. The goal of spiritual development is not to learn to control our environment, which is more of an ego-driven desire. And while having some measure of control over our external reality is important, it is when we are confronted with a person or situation that irritates us and we can choose not to react that we know have made progress spiritually. It is when we have mastered our internal reality that we will have become the masters of our lives.

    The more we try to eliminate annoyances, instead of learning to handle them gracefully, the further we get from developing the qualities that come with spiritual growth, such as patience, tolerance, and acceptance - and the longer these experiences continue in our lives. It is often in the presence of people and experiences we find annoying that we have an opportunity to develop these positive qualities. Fortunately for most of us, our lives offer an abundance of opportunities to practice and cultivate these traits."

    It is not other people we are here to change, but only ourselves and our own behaviour and attitudes. People will continue to vex and hassle us as long as they are getting some response or reaction - some payoff - from us, on either a physical or emotional/mental level.



  • Legally you could try taking out an injunction or a temporary restraining order against them to stop them contacting you. Especially if you can prove they are dangerous or threatening to you. To get a TRO, you must prove four elements: (1) likelihood of success on the merits; (2) the extent to which you are being irreparably harmed by the defendant's conduct; (3) the extent to which the defendant will suffer irreparable harm if the TRO issues; and (4) the public interest.



  • Thank you Dear Captain. They are not contacting me directly any longer, but they speak ill of me to others and it seems to find it's way back to me through people who feel they are helping me. One of the Uncle's in my ex-husband's family has been very protective of my children and I and has been standing up for us, so I feel guilty cutting off contact with him. The rest of the family we no longer have contact with as they are spewing such lies and hatred that I did not want my children around them. I am frustrated because I felt that after three or four months of this behavior that they may change, or at least give up trying to "ruin" me in any manner they can. It's like they are vicious little dogs with a bone...none of them wants to give it up...not becaues they Need it for nutrition, but just because they don't want someone else to have it...it is extremely frustrating, and I have so much on my plate lately that I was extremely overwhelmed the other night when I wrote this. I appreciate your advise and I will have to check out the DailyOm post. I believe my feelings lately have also blocked my "other" senses too. I haven't really "felt" anything clearly for a little while. I think they may be sending "bad" vibes to me...is that possible, or just my imagination?? Who knows...just feeling a little blocked from many directions recently. Thank you again for all your time and advise, Big hugs,

    Laci



  • This is not really about anyone else but you, and how you feel about yourself. It really doesn't matter what people you don't care about say about you if your self-esteem is invulnerable - unless you hate to think anyone (even your enemies) thinks badly of you and that indicates a lack of self-confidence. You cannot please everyone. You are exhausting and blocking yourself by worrying about things that don't matter. Your family and friends will know lies when they hear them - and who cares what strangers think? Let these people go on spreading bad vibes - that will bounce back at them badly. Like the saying goes, "the best revenge is living well."



  • Hobbles, Hi! Have you ever done a search for binding or banishing spells? You don't want to do anything negative that will come back on you - but simple things to do are: imagine a mirror image between you and them reflecting their "true" selves back at them and not getting though to you at night before you sleep perhaps....

    and/or using a string (color symbolic as you choose) to tie two candles - or however many you need and using a master white light candle to burn the string apart, separating the two factions and keeping them there. Don't blow out the candles, and you can annoint them with oils and stuff (you brush an essential oil UPwards along the candle)- and you could loop the string a certain number of times....you have to let the candles burn all the way down so try and find smallish ones, bunch aluminum foil at the base to hold them up, be safe and you can light them daily as long as you put them out with a snifter as well. There's a fab book called Tarot Spells that has some great stuff in it.

    I believe banishing or binding spells are energy neutral as they are simply redirecting energy - oh, and a very effective, often used one is to put an object or a picture of the group in a jar with water and freeze it - effectively freezing the person out of your life. Or write out all your feelings and burn the letter....lots of ideas, the main one is to take a symbolic action of your physical intention!

    In the Tarot Spells book the words are something like: (subject) is bound, (subject) is blocked, (subject) can do no harm, (subject) will realize that whatever they put out comes back to them - it also uses tarot layouts and stuff. One of my favorite books. Ah, I looked it up it's actually Tarot Spells by Janina Renee at Amazon.The one I have looks much older tho.

    I agree that we should all have such strong self esteem that it doesn't matter what people do, but I find that many times some physical actions such as these are a huge aid/help and mind reliever! And indeed like a bumper car - other's actions can influence our actions, so taking action is the best antidote I know of.

    If you are ever face to face with someone who does not wish you well, imagine a rose blooming on a stem with thorns between you, very old magic, very effective.

    Bright Blessings!

    Jlina



  • Dear Captain and Jlina,

    Thank you both so much for your kindness. I do seem to have a lack of self-esteem sometimes I think (not a very good Aries, Am I:) ), but I was around these people for 12 years as they are my ex-husband's family and because I treated them like they were my own family it is the feeling that "my" own family is betraying and saying evil things about me. I will try the suggestions you have given. I like the idea of a mirror between us, both as a physical barrier and as a reflection for them to see their own behavior. That is a great idea! Thank you both for your time and kindness, Lots of love,

    Laci 🙂



  • Oh, and Jlina I do not want to hurt them (not looking for a way to hurt them at all), just want them to stop hurting me, or trying to. 🙂

    Thank you again,

    Laci 🙂



  • It's actually you who are hurting yourself here, Laci. If you didn't care so much about these people's opinions (meaning you seek others' approval more than your own and thus want everyone to think well of you - which is impossible), you wouldn't feel the pain of their 'slings and arrows'. You say they were family to you, but they are not acting like family now, are they? So don't care about them if they don't show care to you. People have to earn love and these people don't deserve either your love or respect because of their bad behaviour and lies. They are trying to hurt you and you are allowing them to succeed. Love and respect yourself and you will not need it from others.



  • Thank you Captain. Wise words. 🙂 I fear their words only in respect to my children...them trying to take them away. I did take their opinions too much to heart, but I am working on that now. Thank you again for all your wise advise,

    Laci 🙂



  • I know you will win this battle. The time for bad people to have power over others is over. During this time of Ascension, it is the good who will triumph over those who are doing wrong.



  • Thank you Captain! 🙂 You are very kind. I am very happy tonight. I made a decision to not allow them to judge me any more. I emailed the Uncle and told him that I will not participate in the behavior of being judged by anyone who is not paid to do so or by God who's job it actually is to judge me! 🙂 Thank you for reminding me how important confidence in myself is. 🙂

    Thanks for everything,

    Laci



  • Good for you!!!!



  • Thank you Captain.

    Sorry this is so late, but the site was having problems every other time I was trying to post a thank you. 🙂 Hope all is going well for you! 🙂

    Thanks,

    Laci 🙂



  • You're welcome and I am! 🙂



  • 🙂 Glad to hear. 🙂

    Hahaha...bright halo hugs!!! Wow...I have had some weird comments again tonight...maybe my "feelings" are coming back to me. 🙂 I see a big halo of light over you...like an oversized halo over a little kid...a hula hoop sized one...you are definitly a "good one" today...hahaha...o.k. I feel really rather giggly...maybe all the goodness is coming to us all! 🙂

    Best wishes,

    Laci 🙂