Tarot Nick - may I have a reading?
Good for you, in this case with work. They want something for nothing and they can say what they want... In this position you are just a number and why should you jump thru the hoops. Do what you need too, stay as long as you need the money and keep looking for the next opportunity. If they wanted more then tell them to compensate you for it...hahahaha like that is going to happen.
For the ex thing I'm all for honesty, all you have to do is communicate what you are feeling. If he never saw it coming before what would make him see the implications now...mostly likely not, but if you just want to be pleasant and not have the awkward feeling, not that he is thinking anything, just let him know. something like I was getting better at being around where no hard feelings or any feelings between us, but it was ok if we don't ignore each other...the big pink elephant doesn't have to be in the room when we are together...he may just look at you like hello what is she thinking...that was over and done with... just say it may have taken you longer but you are ok with it...and leave it at that...something like that anyway.
I can bore you with many stories, but forgiveness or letting things go is a great thing. I would be a mess if I didn't learn that lesson. Some people never learn, but all it does is eat you up. The other person has moved on or forgot about, and you say how if they are normal... its how their mind works...I grew up with a step witch and to this day she would come up to me and try to hug me hello...like nothing happened. That is just how they are, it doesn't mean the same thing to two different people. If I held on to the hurt, it would only be hurting me... so when I run into her I'm polite and move on. I will never change who I am, it is more important to be me. In a way she taught me what not to do... I broke many links in the chain...that will never be passed on.
I like your last line - I broke many links in the chain...that will never be passed on.
Do you reckon that is why we run into bad situations? To learn what it is we do not want?
This thing with my colleagues - makes me want to be nice to others all the more.
I agree - about letting go. it's not easy. I think it happens in its own time, when you are ready. But it helps if you do see that it's about releasing yourself, not about giving the other person a free pass.
Anyway, my new co-worker is decent and nice and finally I have someone to talk to. But it won't be for long - once one other co-worker is back from her vacation, I will be the outsider again. They know each other and will be working closely.
It's funny though, maybe in part of the new person's arrival, the energies have shifted, released even. It's a bit more than indifference. I don't feel as oppressed - it feels like the gray cloud is no longer overhead and the target is not burning on my back so much. Whether that's temporary I don't really know.
I'm all for communication too. But unfortunately i think he cannot handle it, with me and our situation, at least. I tried that last year, to clear the air, and he really ignored me from that point (prob because I did allude to how I felt about him). I just don't want to go backwards with him - must move foward. Even though I still have feelings for him, something is releasing here too.
Do you see anything on the horizon for me? Whatever it is..
You are welcome =)))
been a little under the weather... didn't forget you.
You are feeling restless,
your feeling down and you want to know how it is going to work out
seems like your fighting with someone... tears...
something new is coming
you want the change to happen, but you are also worried about what is to come
take a breath it is coming... just a little patience is needed
your going to have a run in with a bitchy person...gossipy...a feeling of more of just being a pain and causing trouble
you have been worrying about a guy who has not been nice to you...feels like that is where the tears are coming from...(if he is not nice and causing trouble....)
there are not good combinations with the guy thing...you are not seeing the same thing...causing trouble
looks like you have a struggle coming...you will fight thru it and you have what it takes to get thru it
there is a guy at the end... feels more like business then a friend... he will help out, looks out for you
I can guess who the bitchy person is…think work…hahahha, basically she is going to be a pain, plan for it.
It’s coming, not too far off and if you can get thru this you can get thru anything…makes you stronger…it didn’t kill you yet… yes there should be a smile after that
I have been thinking about the breaking the chain thing… it’s an ongoing process of self-evaluation. It is hard to put to words, but important to do. There are many levels and experience’s that make it up. Big picture is I can see the mistakes my father made that he never learned from and I chose not to follow them. I took the good that I did receive and built off that love. With that anchor of love I built real and unreal expectations and decisions that I can trace back to decisions that I made at the time and can realize why I am were I am now. What I still can’t answer yet is “why we run into bad situations?” I can see at work people look at me a certain way. Where I am now I know I will never grow, I am valued but will never be slated to higher management. There was a time when I wanted it and played the game…didn’t get me anywhere, because I didn’t see the perception of what they thought I am. So I chose to grow outside work. A choice not made for money but fulfilled family time and personal growth. I see another crossroads coming; question will be which direction I want to take. I am hoping it will be a two year window… and change is always hard. Ok drifted, I want to look at why people see me with a perception which is part of running into the situations we do. Maybe being quiet I surprise people of what I can do but not enough to take me to another level…when playing the game. I am more of a behind the scenes get things done and that doesn’t allow for that rise… so I understand it at a certain level, but do I want to change it…..
I'll stop rambling now,
Hope you are feeling better.
The guy – is this someone at work? There isn’t someone who has not been nice to me. Are you talking of something that’s already happened or something to come?
I think of my ex a lot recently…reminiscence. No one’s causing trouble. He mostly ignores me. I don’t know who else it could be. But we did have an issue a few weeks ago. He played middleman to something and it really upset me that he got involved. But that’s already done and over with, I let go of the feelings.
You mean I have another bad run-in at work to look forward to? I don’t know if I can take much more. I’m the one they blame for everything, even if there is no confrontation. The new gal made a mistake yesterday, but they didn’t think it was her (until they realised it was). Instead they very much wanted to believe it was me, since I do everything wrong and they don’t see an ounce of what I do right. Argh…Well bitchy person could be 1 of many.. I realised the ‘nice one’ among the not-so nice people, isn’t nice either. She just thinks she is. But she seems passive aggressive. The moment she came back to work, from her holiday, I felt my energy just drain away. It’s because of her victim mentality that the others charge to her defence and hate me all the more.
The part I relate to at the moment – feeling restless and down. I want a change and yes I’m worried too. But I want to get out so badly… And there is no one at work looking out for me either. Not a guy, not anyone. Will have to see how things play out, maybe hasn't happened yet.
Nick – you’re not rambling. In fact, I like it when you share about your own life. I mean I don’t have gifts and all and you have so much life experience, there is really nothing much I could offer you. Except perhaps a listening ear whenever you feel like exploring thoughts
There is something in what you said about how you are perceived at work, that struck a chord with me. Perhaps I share some of the same traits: a quiet, behind the scenes person....who will never rise. Valued by peers but not by management. There was a time I put in the hours, did so much, but yet I was overlooked. It wasn’t out of choice in my case, but I too have grown outside of work. I believe it was destined to be that way. But I do still want to find success in what I do. Not so much in terms of status, but in finding my calling and becoming financially independent. They may not go together – in that my calling may not be work-related..
Perhaps I'm biased but I tend to think it's difficult to remain as the person you are - sacrifices are made when you climb up the corporate ladder. Just my two cents.
I think the tears are most likely from work, I know you are not happy. The bitchy one is a woman, I think also from work.
Good thing is something new is coming, and the last guy is going to help you. Not here yet but coming.
You must have you Ex on your mind for it come thru like that, I know I don’t know the whole story…seen some stuff with you and Astra (his cards looks good that he made by the way) but what I picked up is the bad combinations and that you were on different pages… and being the cold fish that I am…learn new experiences… nice I know…hahahaha… so it’s good to be reflective, bad to be dwelling.
and yes the climb is a sacrifice, what gives and is it worth it?....unfortunately we live in a money society and we all want things...
Yeah I was reading some horoscope predictions this year, and in my sign it's all about change and of self-discovery, affirming and asserting one's self, beliefs and values and letting go of those things which one no longer needs. There was some mention about how conflict can occur as a result of others not being on the same page.
Immediately I thought of my workplace. I'm not willing to conform because a lot of what they do, how they do it, or or how they think and behave are things that I do not want in my life. It's not to say that they are wrong. They have their reasons for what they value. We just happen not to see eye to eye on this.
I have a strange relationship with change this year. The existing feeling is one of fear and I still feel that, but I also feel an overwhelming sense of wanting improvements, and wanting to change things completely. It's in the air around me. That's why it's so frustrating being in a place where change and differences are not welcome. Almost like I want change faster than they can assimilate.
I have a feeling that the ex is one of the things I will want to or am trying to let go of. I already started the process last year and perhaps this reminiscence is part of that process. Can I surmise that what you pick up is that I still have feelings and he doesn't?
I'm trying not to dwell and it is hard. But maybe perspective is coming into play now. Not just on the situation with him, but with this other guy I've developed an attraction to. I'm starting to see my own needs and what I would want out of a relationship... and suddenly I feel that maybe I'm just not on the same page with this other guy either. Just too many obstacles, too many potential risks, plus maybe we're just different. A few years ago, I wouldn't have this many reservations. I'm thinking more I guess.
And I also thought perhaps with all this change in this air and focus on changing my life... maybe there is no space for another person? That's why I thought of my ex... it was good with him, in the sense that there were no real demands on my time because he's way busy. So i was free to have all the space I want. But the downside was that I didn't see enough of him and that was hard on us both. I never complained (cos I like my space and I understood his lifestyle) but it hurt us, in terms of bonding and getting to know each other.
Ah yes Astra. He's very talented and i love the cards he drew and his interpretations. He's been there all throughout - even when i was just getting to know my ex. And I feel grateful we are still communicating and that our exchanges are evolving too. It's lovely to have people to talk to about meaning of life stuff... I feel like I have more friends on this forum than in real life. I learn something from each of you. With you, Nick, your readings and perspectives are very helpful. And I feel like I benefit from your experiences, especially from work and with others and in the way you view life.
Cold fish? Nah I don't think so, that's not how you come across. You just seem very cool, calm and collected. Are you an Aquarius by any chance?
I agree - we live in a 'money society'. That's why my opinion is not based on judgment. It's from my own truths as a person. The decision to climb... to each his own.
Would it be possible if I can get a reading about what is coming for the next months in terms of love and career?
Haven't seen you around much.
Hope you are ok.
If you're able to, I'd appreciate some insight. The concerns are still mainly job related.
I'm fine, just hanging blowing thru a few books... I’m not a do love reading… reader…hahaha understanding feelings is important but not sexy… so I’m just hanging.
you seem happy, not cart wheels happy, but smiles happy
are you waiting for someone to be exposed for who they are.. almost like you know the truth will come out and you are just waiting for it
and it seems you wanted it to happen but your realizing something’s up
your worried about it and disappointed
things seem to be turning though... that pin point is a light....its coming
yep things are turning for the better
but you want it NOW....breath deep its coming, have patience
woo woo looks like a new job is coming at least a new skill
with that is good luck
just to keep you grounded...there will still be confusion but it won’t be as bad (my feeling here is this is with a guy friend)
but you will run into a guy...I put the card down right away... not a nice one, keep your eyes open, he’s deceptive.
Hope that helps,
Glad to hear from you.
Really – you don’t like reading? Haha ok
Yeah I’m happy. There’s been some ‘shift’ happening and I feel more clarity and peace.
I don’t really relate to the part about waiting for someone to be exposed…and being worried and disappointed. Actually maybe could you elaborate… don’t quite understand.
There’s possibly an offer at the current company, but with a different department. I’m not very keen as the job scope isn’t what I want to do, and I want a fresh start elsewhere – and a better fit. So I’m trying to look at other options, including an interview I’ll be attending in a few days. You were right previously, about a job opportunity that stalled. I have just contacted the company as I want to see if the job is still available.
Any thoughts here?
You’re right, there is a bit of confusion about a guy friend (co-worker). I guess he’s the one you said I’d meet from your previous reading. I’m not interested in him but I enjoy our interactions..albeit within the office. But he’s texting me outside of work, nearly everyday and it’s disconcerting. Perhaps that’s acceptable in this smartphone age we live in. But I’m too much of a loner to feel comfortable with the level of contact he prefers. Also, I’m getting vibes that there’s some 'issues' with him.
Are you referring to 2 different guys, my co-worker, and another person? Have I met this ‘not nice’ guy yet? I’m curious, what is it you feel or see or sense that made you put the card down? Just like a bad feeling?
The feeling is something that is going on currently. It came up strong so it’s something that you are going thru… I’m guessing someone at work, which seems to be your biggest stress level. Good thing is one way or another you should have a new job soon. That will take a weight off and you can go to cartwheel happy
So we have two guys mentioned, one is I believe the one at work where he is calling you after work. That is the confusion one. That one is the normal everyday worry, what do I do type of problem…One that you can handle but think about.
The other one is the guy I didn’t like isn’t in the picture yet, but coming. Ok this one is just me giving my opinion; (everyone sees something different in everyone). I am not sure if it is going to be work related or that you will meet someone. That feeling when a guy is manipulative I really don’t like. I will tell you the truth and not play games and I expect others to do the same, but I know I am not in the norm for that. It’s what about me or what can I get out of it. Honesty and communication go right out the window, it’s I can get what I need and move on. That type of guy usually ends up in hurt, but people have fun playing with the flame.
Hmmm this is interesting.
Well last week, let's just say I felt coerced into revealing not so positive things about my current team to other co-workers. Today i found out that info which was supposedly confidential was shared to one of my team-mates. I explained to her it was just an observation and not meant to disparage anyone. But you know once things get into the grapevine, the story has a life of its own. Worse is that the person who coerced me is a member of the team. So one would question if he used me to torpedo our team in front of others. Or maybe it's all just an unfortunate coincidence.
Anyway, I attended an interview (outside my company) today and the boss is all smooth, charming and says all the right things. He reminds me so much of my previous boss in the job where my contract got terminated end of last year. Likeable but not someone I can trust. And I wondered if he is the not so nice one you picked up on. I didn't feel he was manipulative though. But I guess if it's not him, then it's someone I work with now.
In a bit of a quandary because it seems like i might enjoy the people and the culture, but I may outgrow the role after a while. Or they may not accept my private nature. By contrast, all of the possible long term job options in my present workplace will require me to take on more responsibility. May be scary at first but it will stretch my capabilities - which is what I should be looking for I think. Benefits are a lot better (because it is a much larger organization) but I'm at the odds with the bureaucratic work culture. Also, it is very disorganized because it is a start up company.
What do you think?
Ok I think you figured out lines 2,3 and 4 with your first paragraph, now the interesting part. How do we interpret the guy that I didn't like, I believe he will show up but he was in the future. Is the future today or next month.... I don't know. I would say don't make a decision just because you think he might be the one in the card... The key is to be aware, keep it in the back of your head so you won't get hurt, but if you avoid someone or something does that change what choice you might have made? (My philosophy question of the day)
So to the easy part for me, you have choices that you didn't have before; win...win...
The position you are in now was not taken for long term, so you should have no qualms jumping to a better ship. As I say push and grow, every situation is a growing and learning experience. Look how much you have grown from this position...you hated it and it pushed you, but you are now able to smile, your skin is thicker and it don't hurt as much. You will take that with you and grow for the next situation that you may not like once you are in it and it won't be as daunting.
Startups can be fun don't worry about long term, if the money is good and the benes are good go for the ride of the new experience. Again it's growth and learning which will only make you more marketable if it doesn't turn out...If the company is good and it sticks there is easier growth to move up too. With that comes more stress and the wild ride...hahahaha wooo wooo...and yes in the background you can hear Spinning Wheel from blood sweat & tears....what comes up must come down spinning wh.....
Even in what is supposed to be a secure position...we are just numbers on the sheet so don't worry so much in far in future...Learn and grow...
I would be interested in a reading.....what do you see for my near term and long term?
(Can i ask that?)
That is an interesting point. To a certain extent, I believe that even when you are aware, you may not be able to avoid getting hurt. And sometimes it's the innocuous who are deceptive and manipulative. My overall impression of the job has less to do with the guy than the actual work scope and the environment. Although I had a good interview, my view is that the role may not be challenging enough in the right ways and I may find myself at odds with the people, even though there is a fun and open work culture. The boss thought I was a fit in terms of personality but that my analytical and questioning nature may run counter to the demands of the job. Anyway, I may not have to make that choice as I think they may have gone with someone else.
You're totally right and I'm trying to ease off the idea of longevity within a job. Perhaps we're supposed to move to different scopes/environments every so often, in order to grow as people. I do feel good that there are options, just that I'm also confused with the information that I'm receiving about the people and the way the divisions are run. My supervisor meant well but she shared some stuff off the record that makes me feel that I should look for a job elsewhere...lol.
There are 2 other jobs within this organization that i'm thinking of putting in an application for. The one that I prefer (on paper) comes with a manager who is making everyone miserable. The other is a secondment to a partner company and it would be a drastic increase in responsibility. I would learn a lot, but the level of interest in the job is so-so. I know that part of what I want is to have my opinion count, to be in a workplace where thinking is valued and not chastised. To be in an environment that has enough structure to accommodate autonomy and yet flexible enough to accept changes. Haha, sounds like I'm asking for the moon
I guess i do understand that there is no right or wrong choice - just different opportunities and outcomes and new paths. I agree that learning are growing are important but at the end of the day, I want to find a job that fits best. Hopefully it is within the options i have. And if not, then I hope some other opportunity will present itself soon.
May I have a reading?
Still about jobs. And other stuff, haha.
You can't sit still, you want things to happen already
your feeling lonely or a loss
Have patience, things come in time
tomorrow is another day (it may seem like it is never going to happen, slow and steady and enjoy the ride)
looks like you had another run in with a not nice woman again
don't question who you are, you know who you are and trust you brain, you will work it out
looks like you have some struggle ahead...use your wits and be bold...go after what you need
your worried because you can't see what’s coming (you will make things happen trust yourself)
restless with a guy friend too, I’m guessing something started but now has stalled
I’m getting the feeling your in a funk...and your looking for approval from others
Things will work out...what will happen, should happen
Sorry for the late reply. I was in daily rehearsals for dance performances... my first time and not used to the late nights....physically and mentally exhausted... wasn't sleeping very well and didn't have time to write in between rehearsals and work.
Yeah I kinda got over my zen phase last month where I was happy for no reason all the time. The doubts started creeping back in. I think you were picking up on some of that energy. I must have been restless too even though I was so tired and sleep-deprived. In a funk is a good way to describe it, although now I think it's more apprehension (hope it's in a good way) to begin a new journey.
I went for 2 interviews today and got offered 1 job. I do believe this will be my next job A bit more money but the commute is much longer. Win some, lose some. Hope I will enjoy this job. I was previously offered 2 jobs at my current workplace and was kinda pressured into a decision but in the end, I turned both down. Just felt I would be happier if I left the organization altogether. If you have insight on my new job (which I should accept in a day or two), do tell..haha.
The thing which is good is that now I have seen for myself that there is abundance in terms of opportunities. When one door closes...
In terms of guy friends, not sure I relate. Have been in contact with one in particular because of rehearsals, but we're only friends. There was another who was flirting with me a lot at rehearsals but it's just that. Then there's the co-worker ("BFF" at work), whom I haven't seen in weeks because he was on a vacation. I'm guessing it's him you're referring to, as I did miss him initially, until I got absorbed with rehearsals and made so many friends there.
Lots of new friends, finishing up current contract at the end of next week, a new job on the way, and now I've got 2 dance performances under my belt. Lots of changes in 2 weeks.
I had no doubt that you would find something, just time.... Time is a funny thing, when you are going thru it you want it to speed up, and when you look back...where did it go?....So the trick it to enjoy the journey... and I'm glad you are dancing... hectic is a good thing....but don't forget to breath...let it out slowly so your mind can calm...that will refresh you...