Tarot Nick - may I have a reading?
it was more that you weren't ready to consider or listen to advise, you were lock into a thought and that was all you were going to consider. The feeling was if you continue down that road it would hurt you more than help you. The kicker is at the end of the reading that you have the power to do what you need to. That bodes well with what you normally do, go and make things happen. You seem to get bogged down and have more questions when you sit back and let things come to you...
So I think it’s more to you...what do you want... weight the options and go get it... you have been in situations where you weren’t happy and just waiting for it to end...it seemed like the clock slowed down and made it more painful. Be happy go for what you want and you will get it. You have proven that in the past.
Makes perfect sense, Nick, especially about the clock slowing down when you wait for things to happen.
Thing is I've been trying to go with the flow more. Less action, more observation. And you're right a decision has to be made. I am hesitant to take the action until I'm fully onboard with that decision - that's the part I'm having a tough time with. I'm sort of in the middle, and I want to do both.
This split energy is manifesting in other ways too. Like the guy who wants me to give him a chance, but I keep saying I can't. I'm not prepared to consider it as well, or I did think about it and I don't think it's a good idea. There is no feeling that tells me I ought to jump at the chance. Yet I enjoy the attention (unfortunately), so I don't completely shut him down. It's not great, I know.
At least now that you know you were closed to ideas, I hope it will help.
Just me being me, be honest with the guy, tell him what you are feeling and how you are feeling. It is too much work to not be you; integrity and honesty makes me feel good but it not always popular. The world doesn't always agree and it doesn't fit the what’s in it for me syndrome, but I can always sleep. Bonus will be you wont have to question if you should have or shouldn't have. You know you tried and if don't work out you didn't lose, and if it does it could be the comfortable feeling I picked up on.
So keep observing and taking in information, don't rule things out because it didn't fit the pattern. You will make what you need to happen...just not always in the time frame you like...hahahaha
Yes Nick, it is helpful There will be a meeting next week to talk about manpower/resources, and I suppose they will decide then whether my contract will get terminated early or if my work scope may change in the remaining months (because I'm meant to hand over to the new person). So it helps if I'm open to things I guess.
Comfortable feeling was probably with an old friend that I finally met after a year
I have been honest with him. I told him I can't go further because I'm not really ready to be more than friends with anyone. What I didn't say is that I don't think we're particularly compatible too. And I don't want to date someone from the dance group. But because I am attracted and I enjoy his affections, I don't disallow some physical interaction. Which is essentially giving mixed signals. I guess this is why he's not listening to my words (cos the actions speak louder hehe). He doesn't seem particularly interested to get to know me too, although he claims to be sincere. So I take that this is a passing fancy that he will outgrow.
You know, any advice you can give is great. Would appreciate a guy's perspective too.
I am just curious about the scenario I guess because it doesn't happen very often.
As you know I don't fit the normal molds, but here you go...
It's important to be honest and have communication that breaks down walls. It needs to be a two way street, both have to be open and honest. I am taking that he is eye candy but with little substance... hahahah because you say you are not compatible. If all the blood doesn’t reach the right brain...you know which brain is talking. If you are fine with that then you don't have to worry about him being interested because you are satisfying needs. If not then you need to rethink your choices. You say you don't want to date because he is in dance and you probably don't want to ruin or put stress in that area...by playing you already did that though...As you have heard me say before what do you want, free will is up to you; hard to have both ways for a long period of time...short term this will work because of needs... but that will break down, the new car smell doesn't last forever. So be honest with yourself and then communicate.
An small story of why I don’t fit the mold, when I was 18 I worked at a swim club in the deli. There was this life guard, she was hot. Anyway we are in the hot tub late one night and the (tent was pitched) and she was asking, but I was seeing someone so I said no… (Integrity sticks sometimes) not many guys at that age would have done that but that’s who I am even when I was a pup…
let me know if you have questions
You know, he's not really eye candy But yeah the 'pull' factor seems to hinge on physical attraction. However, I think we're incompatible because we seem very different. I'm a little too flighty I think - he appears more serious, and he'd find me tedious cos I'm selectively serious. And I've got no patience for other people’s drama
I understand what you’re saying. Perhaps the difference in my case is that there isn’t anything ‘wrong’ in me interacting with this guy. I’m single, he appears to be. It’s only my preference that is preventing me from moving forward. I’m not opposed to dating a dancer, just not one that is in the dance group I attend. I love being able to learn with them. If we date and fall out….it’d ruin things. If I knew him from somewhere else, I’d be more inclined to give it a chance.
I appreciate that you’re sort of old school – I mean that as a compliment. I know where you’re coming from. You’re right – it does meet short term needs, even if only that it’s nice to be missed by someone. We haven’t done much of anything really.
Sigh…this is new to me. He and I should have a chat one of these days, and I can try to explain…haha.
May I have a reading - whenever you're free.
Was told I can stay till the end of my contract (which is good) and I'm looking out for something else now, just in case.
Never got the chance to have a proper chat with the guy. It's been sweet, we've been exchanging texts every other day. But it's mostly smileys and what have you. Kinda blew up today, because he wanted to spend time with me, and I wanted to spend time with other people too (mainly Guy 2, who is a good friend). I thought we could all hang out together (big group). But I guess it's all or nothing, and he was kinda behaving like a jealous bf - when we hardly know each other. Didn't understand that. Guess I'm a little naive that way. My closer friends let me come to them, cos they know I'm free-spirited. He wouldn't even look at me. It does reaffirm what I thought, about us not being compatible.
Here you go,
there are going to be delays...seems like its not moving
seems like there is some change and conflict
something is up... getting like its not fair feeling or someone lied
Don’t let anyone change the feeling of who you are, you know your good and kind, don’t question that
Remember if you plan something put your all behind it…don’t just wing it or following someone else lead just to follow….if I remember this popped up in the last reading too.
Use and trust your intuition, don’t question what I call the little voice, if it says something look into it
And as always you know you have the strength to do whatever you want. See it and make it happen
Your worried about fighting the good fight… it will work out just keep plugging away you will make it happen
Give it a little time, it will work out… and let the butterfly’s out you should be used to change….hahahaha
Watch your opportunities, think them thru, if you think something is up… and it don’t feel right, think it out
Last card not sure if it’s a new opportunity or an old friend but friendship and it made me smile… that’s always a good sign
hope that helps,
I can relate to this. The thing is I have been following my intuition, trusting my instincts, pushing through on that basis, but lately I have been coming up against my team leader a lot. It's like she doesn't trust that I would know stuff (or know more on certain things from my previous work experience etc) - if it contradicts what she knows. The word I would use is dismissive. However, she does it in a factual, logical way, and an onlooker might miss the sting.
Obviously I don't like it. I thought I was making a contribution by voicing my opinion, and making people think and consider alternatives. But sometimes I feel like I'm subtly being ridiculed by her. So I'm just hanging back a bit, picking my battles I guess. Just don't see the point in 'arguing' my case, with an unwilling audience. Waste of energy and emotions.
What do you think?
I like the last card you drew Would be nice if it's a new job opportunity!
If it's friendship, it might be the male friend which I mentioned. He and I have such an easy friendship. He's been so busy in the last few months, so I was glad to see him yesterday at dance class. We had a really nice 'catch-up' at dinner and I got to chat with some others too. I'm so much of a hermit that it's nice, at times, when I feel a bit more sociable It's such a pity the other guy behaved like he did... as if I had wronged him gravely. I wasn't expecting that at all. It made me sad that he would treat me like that.
Ah the job thing for you always seems like it takes FOREVER...hahahaha but you know you always pull through...same will happen this time
first few lines looks like it's the guy...oh well take the good, forget the bad... and learn for the next one...you can pull from the experience and take the good.
Is it the team leaders plan that came up again? if so try not to be obtrusive but still bring your own ideas. you know it is ending at one point so you need to keep an eye out for your opportunity. Make the best of it and don't let her get to you. Not easily done because its frustrating, but just be yourself what do you have to lose, you will make your own opportunity at one point and all this will be water under the bridge. I know how annoying I must be at work...(when i drive in) always smiling...a quick barb there...people are too serious... being I am one of the worst players of the game at work, you know what, oh well. Right now i am a clog...but a clog that works from home (the basement dweller) hahahaha It works for now, I spent a lot of time around my kids that I wouldn't have been able to get back. So i look for opportunities to make smiles because that’s who I am... sad when I’m the only one laughing...but i keep smiling. So don't take her personally and be smart, don't give in and just follow...its the second time it popped up so it's important enough to be mentioned again.
Yeah I didn't realize I was really mad about the situation with the guy. Mad at him, mad at me (for letting him treat me that way). I let someone treat me like that in the past, because I didn't know better. I've moved so far from that. And I think it startled me that when I found myself in such a situation, my first instinct was again to apologize and try and make nice, instead of kicking his butt for being such a jerk. I'm not sorry - he should be.
But you're right - it's not worth being upset about this. Cos I'm generally happy these days. So I'm trying to think happy thoughts LOL, and hopefully let this go slowly. This dialogue with you is helping somewhat. At least, I'm seeing it in a more objective way.
You have the best work arrangement ever! Although I guess it takes a lot more discipline to work from home.
Hmm, the team leader. I feel this is really tricky. I don't mean to be obtrusive - I don't think I am - but it's probably my questioning nature that riles her. I had a very different experience in my last temp job before this - my supervisor actually listened to my crap haha. She also encouraged my independence. The current one tells me she appreciates that I can handle things independently, but I just feel she would prefer if I were more pliant. Some part of me feels that she should know more than she does, because she's the team lead. Maybe she senses that too and her reaction is to 'reign in the subversive element'.
It is tough. There are times when I know they would benefit from hearing what I have to say. But it gets me down when I voice it and it is dismissed. I have been giving in and just following cos she doesn't want to accept what i have to offer. And I want to spare myself the heartache of trying to preach to a deaf crowd. And just concentrate on other stuff that doesn't need to go through her.
I think if I had more autonomy to help 'design' our work processes for all these new issues/learning points, they might really benefit and have more structure in the long run. Or at least a basis to improve on. I think that has been a pain point a lot - being in environments where I have the ability to contribute, and not being able to because they don't seem to see how my strengths can help the team - preferring instead to see me as the loner and the renegade.
good news is you will be fine, bad news is it will feel like it will take a while. What you are going thru is part of what I call the game. I can see it but not play it because I want to play fair....hahahaha
(what am i thinking)
you see a situation and want to fix it...you have the experience....but guess what... other people want to be important or you’re getting what is she thinking I'm the lead....she is just a contractor (not meant in a bad way, just role playing) so you are just being you, trying to help and because of the situation its the perception (not actual) here she goes...lets be quite and maybe she will stop. In your head your just helping and it coming out wa wa waaa wa waaaaa. the question becomes how do you do stop being yourself or do you take a step back and just let things happen... then you'll get oh she’s giving attitude now....hahahah a win win...
I say go down swinging...just be you and let them deal with it, but don't let them get to you; you know why you are doing it...kill them with smiles.
Hahaha, gotta love that, Nick - thanks!
I know I can always count on you to say the right thing
Oh it won't be pretty if I go down swinging, believe me.
Yeah it's a no-win situation, for sure.
I know what you're saying - that since the contract will run out at some point, I may as well bring out the guns. But sometimes it's really not worth the fight.
The trick is being able to not feel bad, if I choose to to step back. I'm not consistent at feeling this and that's why I get into trouble and start doubting myself, feeling guilty (for not doing more) or getting angry about the situation.
Still learning I guess. It's not easy i suppose when we want to play fair. Cos we can't help but be ourselves, and smile cos it's who we are
May I have a reading?
Job situation is heating up again. Turns out my replacement is also being 'ill-treated'. She and I have become fast friends...we 'get' each other. And she also appreciates that I'm so willing to guide, teach and help her, when she's just getting cra*p from her superiors. They have very unrealistic expectations of her. Just doing my best to teach her what I know.
There's been a new project and I'm now helping on that. It's quite possible that this new development has temporarily staved off an early termination (although I'm still not sure if they will let me stay till the end of the contract). From what my co-worker said, they did indeed have intentions to offload me once I had completed the handover with her. Use and discard.
Haven't had luck with jobs yet, and hope more opportunities will turn up soon. Do you see anything nice around the corner?
here you go,
you are not feeling stable...you want joy but the fog is thick so it’s hard to see
seems like doubt is setting in
seems like there is a block somewhere, so watch money
something is bugging you and you are carrying it around with you
seems like you took control of something...like you made something happen
who is the guy with the rough edges? he means well
your going to come up against something, it will give you a bit of a struggle, be yourself and see it thru and you will be fine
seems like you have been worrying about family and or money...it’s not clear which so it might be combined
and someone has been stubborn...not listening...wants it his way
happiness with an old friend
and last card was delay...so I'm guessing work will take a while to clear
this wasn’t all about work, work was be yourself and make what you want to happen and just be patient. There was something else that felt different from work. Let me know if you need anything,
I'm not really sure about certain parts of your reading.
One one hand, I've been doing well (I think) with teaching the co-worker who's replacing me. I wasn't prepared to teach someone, but somehow I've been making this happen, as you say. And I did it by being myself. I don't know how she will fare later on. But as far as I know, I've already done more than my fair share. So I know this is the way to go, persevere and be myself.
I'm grateful for the new project - I think maybe the Universe answered this prayer. Now I have work to do so they can keep me here a while longer. I'm overloaded in fact because I'm also doing a handover of my old work scope. I'm also trying to relax into the idea that the appropriate work opportunity will present itself when I'm ready and I just need to focus on the project for now.
On the other hand, I just have a lot on my mind. There are some worries about money - yes, because of the uncertainty of the next job. Have been applying without success. Perhaps some worries on family, nothing specific. I've also been stressed out about health issues. Minor but cumulative things, which are upsetting me. And I just feel physically tired and worn out too.
A lot of mixed emotions in the last few days, mostly surrounding my co-worker and the changing circumstances. I perceive that they are bullying her and at first I felt very disturbed. But then after feeling sorry for herself, she fought back in some sense. So I know she can take care of herself. And then I thought it must be such a rude surprise to the team leader. She must have thought she could make use of the new girl in ways that she could not do to me, only to find out the other girl has far more bite.
I briefly felt how funny it would be if they suddenly felt they had made a mistake in deciding to let me go. Then I felt that I was losing my job for nothing. Then I circled back to feeling I'm lucky I'm leaving, because they aren't nice or genuine. All of them (even the ones who are 'nice' to me) are 'fake' in some way. It's all part of the game which I'm not interested in.
Don't know who's the guy (what guy, haha).
I think it's quite possible that all along when you mentioned that I was impatient for changes that weren't happening as fast - you could have meant me and Dance (and not necessarily work) . Dance makes me happy and I'm grateful for what I can do, even with injuries/limitations. But I still aspire to improve and I am a little frustrated that I cannot go faster.
The first part, is don't get down, you will make what you need to happen. Time was the only thing, may take a bit.
The guy is someone I call gruff, may not fit the mold for prince charming but he always means well. I put good stock with someone with a good heart. Others may look at him and go him? hahaha
Then a couple of cards that bounced felt more like feelings so it didn't flow, so try and look at them separately and break them down.
and the delay card felt like it went with the first three cards, which I took as it dealt with work
work wise you will be fine because you will make something happen when you need too....maybe not when you want too....but you will do it when the time comes
Does it feel like I'm the stubborn one?
Just in the last couple of days, I've had to push back at work, stand my ground... put myself first. And be more assertive about what I will or won't do - even if it runs counter to others' expectations.
So maybe it's me?
It's funny (or maybe not) that when I pushed back, there was some resultant clarity about an assignment that I haven't been able to complete. Almost like divine inspiration. I was able to focus better because I let go of an emotional block. And I feel really good about that. Because it's showing me that I do have the ability - when I'm able to focus.
Ah focus... not my strongest quality, especially in times like now where I'm being pulled in so many directions. Everyone wants/needs something from me. Constant distractions/disruptions. And I want to do as much as I can... the learning and doing makes me feel productive....which I love, but wow, what a trip...recipe for burnout....
You're right - it will take a bit of time to work through the work, so to speak. There are delays because the project timeline and scope wasn't thought through properly before they brought me in. Most days, the hours just fly by because there's just so much to do (but also a lot of blocks). I enjoy the productivity and being busy, but I'm so exhausted.
Oh and I realized the guy is co-worker. He and I have begun chatting. I think he and I are alike, in that we take pride in our work, but are not appreciated for what we do. The silent contributor type. I thought at first that I was 'helping' him by encouraging him to remain positive etc and being his friend. But like you said, he's also offering some good advice (or at least things for me to think about).
If there is an undercurrent to the cards that is not related to work, I'm not sure what it could be about. But I suppose things will just unfold.
May I have a reading?
Still finishing up the current contract...feeling more free in general, if a little restless because I don't feel as productive. I still have not have luck in the job situation and wondering if there's any light around the corner.