Tarot Nick - may I have a reading?

  • Thanks Nick!

    I guess the apprehension is hitting me because there might be a new opportunity here. Chance to start over, and just on a cusp of a new year.

    Definitely involves learning new skills.

    Being the new person is always hard. People liked me at my old job and I made a lot of friends and did my job well , but I didn't get along with management. And I just really want to feel like I will fit in, this time.

    I'm getting ahead of myself - don't know if there is an offer yet.

    Fingers crossed and I'll let ya know how it turned out.

  • Keep me posted,


  • Hi Nick,

    The company is preparing to send me an offer letter.

    Just as I had adjusted to the idea that I was going to join this company, I received a call from a recruitment firm about another position that sounds interesting. It is a contract position, so no guarantees of being renewed after 1 year, but the job scope is way more marketable than the other job. It builds on the experience I already have from my previous job.

    The job from the first company (the one I'm being offered) isn't bad - but it's in a niche field - so should I want to leave later on, I'll find it even harder get a job.

    Now I'm confused about whether to pursue this new lead. There may not even be enough time to go through the whole process - once the offer letter comes from the first company (and I'm expecting it by this week), I will be under pressure to give my answer.

  • Danceur,

    A good problem to have... you put so many thoughts out there... and now you have choices...not easy ones but choices.

    So I'm guessing the job offer is a permanent position, benefits and all, near enough to home, enough pay.... all of these are inputs... I wouldn't worry about being a niche field..you can translate that other things...will there be movement or advancement, if you want to play the corporate game? Did you ask those questions in the interview? You talk about leaving, so is it something you don't want to do..and it's just a paycheck? weight all of these questions. Then add in next year you will be in the same boat... most likely the contract don't hire full time because they are saving money... either in benes or financial cut salaries...makes the company look more profitable. If the new offer is better money and benes and more exciting...will you mind going thru this next year...hmmm...if you want talk it out...

  • Hey Nick,

    The job offer is a permanent one but the contract one is nearer to home. Both will have benefits. There is a completion bonus for the contract position, but no annual bonus for the permanent one (which is strange, considering that is a mainstream employment practice in this region).

    I haven't' gone for the interview yet for the contract role. So there is only 1 real offer (although I have not received it yet either). Will be learning and acquiring skills in both roles.

    For the permanent role, they said that a promotion could happen in a year, depending on performance. It's not that I don't want to do this role - I guess I've just become accustomed to having to change jobs frequently that the idea of a permanent job scares me (even though job security is what I want). For some reason, it is easier to for me to mentally process working on a contract and being renewed, than to make a commitment right at a start, that I can see myself at the same job for a few years. Haha, maybe commitment phobia.

    Maybe what's fueling that phobia is knowing that neither the permanent nor the contract roles are the kind of jobs I can see myself doing forever. Cos I have my secret wish to work in something more physical - like fitness or therapy or something dance related maybe - but I need to give it a few years to see I'm able to overcome my injury/misalignment problems and strengthen up enough to look at alternative career options.

    If I don't manage to go into the kind of jobs I prefer (because physically I just can't handle it) , then any job I take now will have long term ramifications on my employability later on. I wanted to be careful not to go too niche but it seems I may not have a choice.

    That said, I'm also looking at this wrong. This job offer is an opportunity and I will learn a lot, and who knows if it might turn out to be something I can really do long term. And I should not talk about it in terms of leaving, before I even start. I think I'm just trying to cover my bases and make more responsible and smarter decisions. My job history is not exactly stellar and I'm not getting younger.

  • History repeats itself, unless you break the chain. So yes look at this from the other angle that it is an opportunity. The carrot of the promotion is a good one, we haven't seen raises in a while...I think that has been the norm all over. Sink your teeth, learning is always fun. Niche wise I wouldn't worry because you will still be doing similar things.... you can translate that into a positive if you had too. Interviewing is selling who you are and what you can offer...sometimes it is the differences that make you better. I did this and we tackled the problem from this angle... it equates across the board that you had a problem and you solved it... that type of thing. You may bring something else to the table, so I wouldn't worry about that. As for long term when you are healed there are after hours that you can pursue your talents that will make you happy. One step at a time, don't worry about what can happen heal and either teach, or direct or volunteer. All your eggs don't have to be in one basket... adding pressure. See talk it out... look at it from all angles...talk to crazy people and have fun...hahahaha

  • Hi Nick,

    Thanks for this! It just makes me feel so much better.

    Now I guess we'll have to see what kind of offer they propose.

    If they 'go low', might I be in a position to negotiate?

    And another thing, I ran into my ex yesterday. 5min conversation, walking and talking.

    Ended up talking about my injuries/misalignment issues. He offered to help - very indirectly.

    He works in fitness so I can only take that to mean teaching me strengthening exercises. I was kinda baffled and dismissed his offer - both knowingly and unknowingly. We haven't really spoken much in a year. I do not consider us friends anymore, just acquaintances. And somehow he can compartmentalize this and hint at helping me?

    Today I texted him to let him know I appreciated the thought. It's the first time in 7 months that I contacted him. He didn't even bother to reply and I wasn't surprised...lol.

    I'm trying to learn whom I can trust insofar as help is concerned. I made some really poor decisions regarding the health practitioners I went to. In this case, our friendship's dead and I kinda feel it's easier to let it remain dead, along with the unresolved things. Let sleeping dogs lie, that sort of thing. Would you concur?

  • It depends on how you deal with things, easier to clean break this way your brain doesn't keep on going over what happen, did i do something wrong or something different....that type of thing. Being nice is ok, not knowing him it just could me he put everything behind him and moved on. Just remember all the stuff i think you went thru to open the door other than being nice.. you don't need to start the thoughts... but if I'm right you do run into each other from time to time...so just being polite is not a bad thing...just don't start thinking...hahahahaha In Jan ... I'll do a new reading for you. Also the offer from the job will most likely be in early Jan...start of new financial books, companies find money...

  • Hi Nick,

    You are right - we do run into each other all the time (I take his class). But it's very rare that we get caught in a one on one situation, as we did this week. I realise that I have a propensity to start thinking about things - I did over the last 2days. It dredged up feelings I didn't want to think about. If I had any choice, I'd never want to be around an ex. The only way I've been able to survive this is to learn to gradually see him as an instructor only and get used to the idea that we are only strangers.

    We had an easy friendship and I know we could easily rehash that if both parties wanted to.

    I once had the hope that we could be friends in spite of this - and I think I was being naive - because I haven't completely moved on and I would just see things that aren't there.

    Unless he were willing to man up and confront all that we have buried... I don't see that happening. So I guess - sadly - that it's better if we leave the friendship in the dead state it is in. Maybe it is the only way to maintain civility. We are polite - but it's an obliged politeness because no one wants to create trouble. Sometimes I find myself almost asking for forgiveness from myself and some unknown force, that I have to abandon this friendship I cherished not because I don't want to forgive but because i still care.

    I have another problem. The company emailed the offer, and it's lower than I asked - $100 less than the minimum of the expected range I had given. I received a completion bonus as part of my previous salary package and somehow I forgot to mention this to the hiring manager. I only told them my basic salary. Stupid me!

    My expected range factored this in. As they do not have an annual or performance bonus as part of their salary package, they're effectively offering me less than I earned at my previous job - but to them it looks like an almost 10% increase. They do have an incentive scheme where you can earn a bit extra, if customers give you a top rating for each case you close. But I wanted my basic annual salary package to be more than what I earned previously.

    Do you think I can risk trying to negotiate for $100 extra? It makes a difference to me, but I also do not want to jeopardize the offer. i suppose I'd still accept the offer if they don't want to increase, but I don't want to sour ties. Would they be willing to consider it without prejudice? Oooh I need advice.

    Plus I'm still getting tempted by the recruitment agent on the merits of the other job (contract one). She says the team is great, and says it should be a long term renewable contract, because the role is needed, just that they do not have the headcount. But I don't know if I can get shortlisted and go for interview in time... I need to give my answer for the offer from the 1st company in a week.

    At this point, I need to advice on whether they can be mature about me asking for $100 more. And whether it is reasonable for me to ask. Or is it that I missed the chance and too bad.

  • Danceur,

    The company that got you the job are they the ones that offered the salary? I have found out that there are norms and they have a range that they usually offer. Did you sign the intent letter to the signing company... from experience I was reaching out at one point to do contractor work and the recruiting company was offering I think like 45 an hour... I was balking because it wasn't worth the risk...and they went up to 50 but took some of the benes away... I ended up not taking it because when I went to the interview of the company we both felt were I was I had a more stable environment. Point being they do have room to wiggle if they want you... I would go for the other interview anyway.... the more you do something the better you are... and you can try to do different things... and they will pick up on that you have confidence...because you don't have anything on the line... I get the feeling your thinking already...they are not offering me enough...am i going to be happy?....hahahahha...to stop that, if you go forward and accept something that you are not happy with to begin you may start the butterfly wings the turn into a tsunami, have no doubts. I would ask for the extra be honest... you have a skill set.. depending on what you are feeling, you can let the other guy know about the other interview, not as a threat; but that the extra money makes a difference... you have to weigh all your options... I am not sure if you would be comfortable with that. Everyone is different... I'm honest to a fault..sometimes you get stepped on...but I can always put my head on the pillow...or couch...hahahahhah ok I can see I am rambling, don't take it if your not happy, go for the other interview if nothing else for the experience... unless you signed a no compete letter because then you are giving your word and you don't want to break that. If you didn't sign anything like that you are free game to better yourself if you are not happy. Sift thru that a few times let me know if you understood... Just my thoughts...


  • Hi Nick,

    I think I understand what you are saying. Sorry if I confused you with the information overload 😛

    Company A is the one who have emailed an offer. I didn't accept anything verbally or in writing prior to this. The most I offered Company A was intent - interest in working with them.

    My honest impression is that Company A is not offering me enough. The terms are not favourable - I would be earning less than I did at my previous job - that is not the way to go, even though times are not great right now. You are right - I don't think I can live with it if I say nothing and accept the job. It starts me off on bad footing, if I feel shortchanged. But I do not want to lose the offer either 🙂

    Company B - not yet shortlisted for an interview. Only met with the recruitment agent. If I'm lucky, I may be able to secure an interview - and hopefully this week. But of course, there are no guarantees of an interview or an offer.

    There are pros and cons about both jobs. The biggest difference being that Company A is offering a permanent role and Company B has a "contract to possibly permanent" role. Either way, I won't know which job will work out for me. It's like taking a leap of faith.

    I want to see that Company A is willing to compensate me properly. Plus I figure trying to negotiate will buy me time to perhaps wait for an interview to materialize with Company B. But my issue is I'm also desperate (argh) to get employed because the bills are stacking up. I cannot afford to lose an offer.

    It's not a great predicament to be in....

  • Danceur,

    Let's switch that negativeness, yes it is you have choices you didn't have last month. That's a positive right there. Ok you haven't committed yourself, so both doors are still open. Write down without feeling so you can look at them positives and negatives. Then add in what ifs, think of it as basic programing language/flow charts. You take out the emotions you may get a clearer picture. I would go to Company A first thing and tell them your predicament that you are not satisfied with the salary..but tell them why... you can even offer them a solution...explain that you were under the impression that a bonus or AIP (incentives) would make the offer comparable to your previous job, that you are not looking to go backwards but to grow in knowledge and knowing that you will strive for advancement... I have grown in every job I have had and I am worth the investment for me to do the same in your company....Brown nose information with conviction... because if you start off negative...it only brings more...

    So you are not desperate... that does not bring confidence... you have value other wise you wouldn't have offers. I would still try for the interview... it will help in confidence. No harm no foul because you may have had a job already and look how you present yourself...you maybe surprised how confidence changes the perception you offer.... instead of going in please hire me I have bills and I need a job... i'm desperate...to hey I have something to offer and you want to hire me....

  • Hi Nick,

    You’re kinda like a life coach 🙂 Thank you so much for listening to me rant about this. You have been really helpful, showing me new angles and perspectives I haven’t thought of. I’m just very jittery. Have not had the best luck with jobs, with relationships - and had a number of unfortunate things happen to me in the last few years. These have made me kinda negative and sometimes I really need to bounce ideas off others. I recognize that this is the start of the next phase of my life, that could last a good number of years and I just want to welcome the right opportunities and the right people.

    I have tried doing a pros and cons (in my head) about both jobs. But I have limited information about the role at Company B (the recruitment agent wasn’t able to even share the company’s name or much details about the job scope) so I really do need to get to an interview first. Hopefully if I can get shortlisted, it will happen while Company A’s offer is still valid. I need to see for myself what kind of opportunity exists and whether I might fit in with the company.

    I’ll be crafting my reply to Company A’s offer in the next day or two and email it to them by Friday (deadline for acceptance is Monday). Hopefully, my request for a revised offer can be taken in the right spirit and they’ll give it serious consideration. I’m not really good at brown nosing 😛

    Merry Christmas Nick!

  • Geees your in trouble if I'm a life coach...hahahahaha

    I would do the letter sooner if you could, that leaves them no time. Most people are on vaca time but if you could get to them by tomorrow. Who ever is working will have a chance to reply or think about it. You don't want to back them in a corner. That's why if you could tomorrow it would be better. Give reasons why and leave it open ended so you don't close a door. It's not brown nosing...it's putting yourself on a pedestal... that is important for you to feel like that about yourself anyway...

    Have a Merry Christmas too,


  • Hi Nick,

    I have sent out the email and keeping my fingers crossed on the outcome.

    Hopefully it sounded open-ended...

    Will let you know if I hear anything 🙂


  • Hi Nick,

    It seems the offer could be off the table.

    They never replied or even acknowledged my email since I sent it. I gave them time because it was the Christmas and New Year holidays. But I saw that they placed a job ad again today - the same one I had responded to previously. It seems they've decided to 'dump' me. Either way, I don't have a good impression now.

    Part of the reason I tried to negotiate the offer is that I wanted to see what kind of people I was dealing with. I worded my email as graciously as I could. And I wanted to see that they would at least respond in kind - to me fighting for what I thought I was worth - even if they weren't in a position to tweak the amount.

    I feel upset and kinda freaked out to be honest, because I wanted to start working already. Financially I'm strapped. But I do want to be working in the 'right place, with the right people'.

    What do you make of this?

  • Danceur,

    I'm sitting here shocked, they offered you an offer letter with you responding... The letter was due on the Monday and I think by the Thursday you sent a letter back, just stating the question if there was any way they could come up with a little more to match what you have been compensated in the past... That is a valid process in the hiring employee's, all they needed to respond back was no that was our offer. Are you able to reach out by phone...just to see what went on?

    Let me see if I pick anything up in a reading...

    ok right off the bat...change, disruption and conflict....but that usually brings better things from it

    you have the power to get what you need... don't lose hope

    things are still stagnant... you will stay where you are

    caution in getting involved in poor risks

    you just had a false start

    What is going on is not going to make you happy...a few storms to ride out

    again you will stay where you are

    you understand you are at a cross road....it will make you stronger, you will be able to deal with it

    you have someone watching out for you

    joy is coming...fill your heart with that and people will respond positively

    and you will get what you deserve, things will work out

    ok I don't think you did anything wrong... something is going to pop...just need a little bit more time. Don't get down, joy is coming.

    On the positive side...if they did that now and you already would have been upset because you know you would have been underpaid...that would have creep-ed up and made you unhappy too. In the long run you saved some emotions... 🙂

    Bend my ear if you need me...


  • Hi Nick,

    Thanks for your support and words.

    I too wasn't expecting this. It is kinda rude to just not reply at all when someone has responded to a job offer. I had thrown the ball in their court, and now I feel like I'm having to crawl back to ask for a decision 😞

    I do think that it would have eaten at me if I had settled for their initial offer. But the irony is I may end up having to take up lower paying jobs just to get by for now. Hmmm...

    The storms make me nervous - I guess I feel a little run down as it is as I have not had the best luck for the last few months, in particular.

    But I'm taking your advice and trying to remain positive and just keep applying for other jobs. It is not the easiest thing to do considering that I'm in financial trouble - but I'm trying my best to keep my chin up. Laws of attraction and such. And look forward to things that make me happy like dance class.

    The company has advertised for a few positions, so I guess they're expanding or replacing. Either way, it feels like they're keeping me in the dark, until they can find a better (cheaper) candidate.

    Just emailed the boss to ask for a definitive answer about the job. Let's see what he says. If for some reason, the job is still available - whether at the same rate or higher - would it be a bad idea to take it, just to pay the bills? If I could afford to wait for a better opportunity I would, but I don't know if I can hold out so long.

  • Hi Nick,

    Managed to talk to someone. The offer is still valid but without revision to the salary.

    They seem reluctant to email me the list of benefits (part of which are monetary incentives) - don't know why, since it is part of how a potential hire would evaluate if the offer is competitive. I want everything in writing but apparently they only discuss details after you join the company. Person I spoke to said she'd check, but I haven't heard from her since.

    They do not seem to be in a hurry to sign me on. I don't want to be negative about this job or the company but something doesn't feel right. Almost like they are stringing me along and stalling, until they find another candidate.

    Do you sense anything?

  • Danceur,

    Look at the reading I did on the 6th, you know I won't tell you what to do (like I have done a good job at it so far)

    You know when I do a reading I don't put my thoughts in till the end, so what popped up was there to help you.

    It really matters what you see from it...I'm hear to listen though; from my experences in the business world, you haven't done anything wrong. They can say what they offered you is fair, in there eyes, Can you live with that? If your strapped I have no way of saying whats best for you. The only thing is I would hope is not to leave any outs, just in case your not happy. (where you can work for a competitor or same type of job thing)

    from the reading

    "you have the power to get what you need... don't lose hope"


    "joy is coming...fill your heart with that and people will respond positively"

    I didn't write that just to write that... that was the feeling I had from the reading. So I know you will be happy, the question your asking how to get there....follow your heart and head....


Log in to reply