Tarot Nick - may I have a reading?
I keep slapping the darn thing...I must have broke it, that's what you get for listening to my ramblings...hahaha
May I have a reading?
Take your time.
I feel that there's something trying to come through, at the back of my mind - but I can't quite place it.
got lazy last night...I'll try tonight
Here you are,
You are not listening to something, step back and take a breath to refocus
You have the ability to make what you want
But your not thinking just rushing
Something is not right, a truth is untold
And obstacles to get in the way
Work is good, something new to learn or focus on
But might lead to a pause or obstacles
Which leads not accomplishing thing...start, stop...move on
Things don't feel stable
You run into someone who doesn't like to give in, can be harsh
Which leads you to feel restricted, indecision
Ok not fun, so think of what is coming and how to slow it down so it is easier to handle
It's interesting the way you phrased that -
"Something is not right, a truth is untold"
it's very lyrical
Did you mean I'm keeping silent on something or someone is not being honest with me?
At the moment, I'm questioning my life purpose.
Do you suppose it's related to:
"You are not listening to something, step back and take a breath to refocus"
I have struggled a lot with personal power issues in my life. I feel a sense of empathy/outrage for people in similar situations - and I'm wondering if I'm meant to find work that draws on that, and allows me to help/empower others (and myself). All this year, I was looking into the physical therapy profession, but with the recovery from the back injury being so painstaking, I don't know if this is a viable option. it's likely I will need a couple of years of rehab and I don't want a career change to be delayed indefinitely.
I don't particular enjoy being involved in other people's business - for that reason, I ruled out counselling/social work a long time ago. I don't know what other professions I can consider. Any advice?
Nah, just trying to put feelings into words. I try not to change them other than to make it more coherent. Which still doesn't translate at times.
First five lines are separate, but the theme of the reading is based off your question.
As for advice... the reading part is easy because I feel I am just the conduit and I am retrieving the information for the reader. I try not to add my thoughts, just the feelings...
So I will just be me, give an example of what I am going through, because you will listen to your heart and make the best decision for you (anyway it always comes out for you that you can do anything you put your mind too) Balance of work, (money) and passion are hard to combine. When I had my Landscaping business I loved what i did, but I knew it was too physical to continue as I was getting older, I was breaking down at 30. So I went back to school to challenge myself and had to start over. Family of four going backwards but I got through it. Then as I am rising I get stuck at a job that I was good at but who's niche was very narrow. I am paying for that now, I wasn't happy because I wasn't growing. Change is scary so you stick to what you do, to alleviate that I looked at things I could do to make me happy and that was helping people. I volunteer to help kids at my daughters old grade school. I do these readings hopefully to help (or bury people...hahahaha for listening) So I separated money and my need to help. Over time I have tried to retool, but lately I dropped the glass ball and it shattered. I was force adjusted and my narrow niche is very narrow. I tried to put another tool in the belt ,but failed the test which has left me doing the poor mees....waaahhhh. I see this which is why I am telling you, but I can't get out of my own way because of the poor mees....So I try and take baby steps but I keep on falling, which is ok because I pick myself back up.
Ok back to you, As long as you realize the road to hoe will be long and hard and you are willing to go backwards before forward which will mean more sacrifice. I haven't found the road of just switching over, but falling flat and picking myself up I have done. It can be done and you can do it, if that is what you want... how much are you willing to pay will be the question. Is helping people go through the pain you went through satisfying enough? Where you are giving not just for the job but for you? If you feel it is worth it to give up to get that need; then plan ahead, break down all the steps you will need to accomplish and go for it.... once you put everything into what you feel is right you can make it happen. Just be wise of the pitfalls and add in life's other stuff that will be thrown at you, do you want it enough to make a change....that will be for you to decide... if you make that decision, I will lend moral support... and the flip side of the coin is finding other ways to help people to make that side of you happy while you make money to live.
hope the rambling helps,
Thank you for being so candid with your own experience. It really does help, because my trajectory seems similar (not the specifics though) and I can relate. One of the areas I'm failing at - is accepting that I'm not meant for a linear journey.
I've never had a period where I wasn't struggling. Am I glad for the spiritual and emotional growth - yes. But there are no tangible fruits of my labour that I can enjoy - I just keep moving ahead into more and more struggle. I'm almost 37 and it's pretty much like nothing I did counts at all..the counter has been reset. And I'm starting from scratch to learn the ways of the world and pay my dues all over again. I struggle not to feel sorry for myself. And yet I know I've got no choice but to keep chipping away at the mountain. Part of me is grateful that there's time to keep going, and learning and changing, the other part is so completely daunted, because I'm so tired already.
I'm sorry to hear things have been rough for you at this point. I truly admire the way you're handling things. I wish I had that grit and tenacity, and confidence that things will be ok no matter what happens.
I get it when you say it's hard to find a balance...eg a job that pays and that you love and doesn't have some trade-off/down-side. I'm trying to find work which aligns with who I am, what I believe, and what I'm good at.
I think helping people in a non-official way makes more sense to me, eg volunteering. I want to help but not to be relied on for help - if that makes sense. In another parallel life, I could see myself caring for others in a hands-on way as a profession because it seems to come naturally to me. But it doesn't really work with the baggage and practical struggles that i have now.
No one's really been there for me in my life (so I empathize with what this feels like) - but I've also been in too many situations where I've had to subjugate my own needs for the greater good - so I'm not willing to do jobs where I'm overly involved in others welfare. This is why I'm having a huge conflict trying to decide on a career switch. I haven't found the thing which I can 'throw' myself wholeheartedly into, which taps on my emotional strengths, while not encouraging some sort of backlash. Something which will give me leverage to move completely out of my present circumstances, and maybe even live and work overseas.
I don't want to rush into anything - which you picked up in your reading - but i definitely feel the pressure to do so.
Don't forget you bring your experiences with you, looking back who would think Landscaping would help me in Telecommunications. I cut my teeth with dealing with customers, I bring that experience forward, I learned how to solve problems, deal with issues and make people happy. I did retool but I just shaped the experiences to fit what I do now. So the counter is not wiped clean, those lessons keep some numbers on the wheel.
My friends call me stubborn...I wonder why?
Finding that balance is a never ending process, try different things see what works and what makes you happy. Don't worry about age you will continue to grow and continue to run into stuff. Just breath and see how you can make it positive, you won't believe how sour of lemonade you can drink when all you have is lemons...a little bit of sugar or add more water and presto you can suck more down. Find the bright side and keep smiling and take the next chip and toss it aside. The pile will shift and more will be at your feet, just be stubborn and keep plugging away and smile as you go.
may I step in? Danceur....it's been a long time reading for you and I feel your angst.....not much has changed!!! We can't always change things outside ourselves but we can change our perspective. If you want change you must change the way you approach things. I'm short on time but can come back. You need to get out of your head....you internalize too much. Great leaps up require taking chances....but you over analyze everything. Great leaps require moving out of our comfort zones. You plan too much and tippie toe too much. JUST DO IT! Remember that winner's anthem. You crave and plan and think so much you have lost touch with the joy of living in the now.....as if your REAL life has not started. Your core fear is FAILURE. Failure is just a roadmap to your next direction. You also tend to live in the past. You can't look backwards and get ahead. Your heart's desire is not matching your heads analytical input. If you want more input from me let me know. BLESSINGS!
Thanks for stepping in there. And yes, I would appreciate more input.
Have written to you on another thread.
Thank you for the encouragement. I really appreciate it.
It's true what you're saying, that experiences shape you and can be carried forward, so they are not wasted. I do agree. I'm a different person than I was, and so I bring something different to each job that I take.
It's just that there's nothing in my life - in the areas that people are usually concerned with - that is working optimally. Most people I know have at least 1 or 2 things that are going ok for them, eg a great job, or good ties with their family, a great relationship, stable finances, awesome health and fitness... and they just focus on improving those few that aren't going so well.
For me, all of these areas in my life are causing grief/stress, or have simply not turned out the way I'd hope in spite of me plugging away. I've learnt to exist in spite of that because I can't fight against what is missing. But that's just it - I'm existing. I do have happy moments, I'm mostly ok. But am I truly happy?...
I feel as if I have to start from scratch to create all these things in my life.,. but we have a finite existence, so I started to wonder how I'm ever going to get all of these in order. When sometimes they act as obstacles to each other. Eg my health issues are standing in the way of career choices.
I feel as if I'm not disadvantaged insofar as intelligence or opportunities were concerned...and I really don't know why I've not managed to fulfill my potential. And why I seem to have keener abilities in things that I can't translate into a career.
This is why I feel as if nothing I've done so far has mattered (as far as it relates to tangible accomplishments). On a spiritual plane, yes, I've definitely had lots of growth. And I'm proud of that.
I've learnt to compartmentalize a lot in order to function. I'm starting to regurgitate the lemonade I think.
Is everything ok with you?
I just felt that I should reach out.
Hope you are doing good.
moonalisa last edited by
I'm fine, just getting my butt kicked mentally...my own doing... so I have been laying low. Hard to feel confident to help others when your not helping yourself...wow do you hear the violins playing? sounds like wwwwaaaaaaaaa. Spent money took a class, I'll find out in the end of the month if I can pass the test. Then one way or the other new decisions will be made. So Time will heal...tick, tick, is that clock going backwards....
Glad to know you're keeping the faith; just wanted to see how you were as I remember you were having a tough time.
2016 has been...not easy. Like everything turning on its head, and having to squint to see the silver linings.
There's something about allowing things to happen, letting them come to you, instead of trying to make them happen... Nothing about what I wanted worked out. That's mainly on the re-education front. The harder I tried to set the course, the more out of reach it seemed to get. New obstacles, new frustrations. I still believe that path is out there. But I was getting ahead of myself, and fate/destiny, whatever you call it, will not allow me side-step my present circumstances. Oh joy I'm ok with it (for now), but ongoing challenge is to maintain emotional balance.
Think at some point, something will click in place for you. Just maybe in an unexpected way. So hang in there What kind of studies did you take up?
When you get thrown to the wolves.....come back leader of the pack! BLESSINGS!
The problem with being stubborn if you think you are good at something you keep hitting your head. Still the PMP cirt, I need the cirt to move forward in that field. Right now I am in between and both sides don't want me. I either have too narrow of knowledge in one subject or not enough without the cirt in the other. When I pass it should open doors that I am not opening now. I put myself in a better position to pass, but testing wise its still too close to call. I have built myself to be a liner thinker and methodical with doesn't help when taking a timed test that isn't liner. Which is funny because when I do readings I have learned to just trust feelings... yeah makes a lot of sense... other then I like to give compassion to others. I'll find out in a couple of weeks the test is coming... giving it my best so either way I can't cry I should have... but I am not a big fan of failure... should be fun, fun, fun.
My first instinct when you said you were a linear thinker was hmmm?. Cos although I have known you to be structured, you're kind of not that, as well.
Actually it does make sense to be a paradox.
We're taught to put labels and categorize things, situations and people.
But it really could be that it is actually more common to 'overlap the molds'.
We need a myriad of abilities after all.
Perhaps the stubbornness just means you know you are ultimately supposed to succeed. It is a truly awesome thing. Means you believe in your well-being. No matter what the present circumstances look like. Even though sometimes you start playing the violin Just kidding.
You're never a failure - it is always a work in progress. I know that must be irritating to hear. Cos it irritates me. But it seems to be true.
Wishing you all the best on your test!