Tarot Nick - may I have a reading?

  • Hi Nick,

    Your previous reading describes part of what I feel. Which is conflicted. I sense that I am not 'wanted' - that they are delaying things just to buy time till they can find someone else. Initially they wanted me to start work 2 January - and now they're just ambling along....taking time to reply my email, taking time to decide whether or not they will send the benefits list.

    For the most part, I have been staying as positive (or neutral) as I can be. I'm using their silence to think and to apply for other things.

    My gut and my heart say that I should wait for something better. But my head is 50-50 on this - it says that I may have to take this job - even if i don't think it's fair. Stepping stone type of thing. It's also saying that I should be wary about joining, because the way they're treating me right now is indicative that there's more where that came from. There is a clause in the contract where I wouldn't be allowed to work for any of the clients - but I don't think it will be an issue.

    Thanks for making me think... I just worry a lot that I tend to make the wrong decisions because I'm pressured by financial issues. But even when I think I'm following my instincts, I still make mistakes. Sigh.

    Well I hope if there is a better job, that I will be able to maintain positivity and let it manifest sooner. Else, I hope that I can find happiness doing this job - assuming they still intend to hire me..

  • It's good to see out in front of you so by talking I hope that's what I am helping to do... and in the end whichever way you go...just make the best of it. You open the bag and you see lemons and you wanted oranges...don't throw the bag out...make lemonade... you can always go back to the store to get what you need. Here’s another bad analogy, I was reading a book and if was an off comment from another book I was reading (he’s a name dropper) so I read it and it took a while because it was a little out there...but once I start something I don't like to drop it...but in the end the last chapter there was a concept that I never thought of before, so just for that it was worth it....something good that can be stored for later and move on to the next one...

    So any direction you go in, store up the info and use it for future references....


  • Hi Nick,

    That's a wonderful analogy. Believe me, you're saying the right things and I hear ya.

    They have not contacted me since I requested for a benefits list early last week. I just think this is taking too much time, so I'm making a final attempt to reach out to the company. I made it clear in my email that it is a formality that I want to see all the info before I accept the offer and that I want to move forward in the employment with them.

    If they have changed their minds, I hope that they will stop delaying things and just tell me straight. Do you think I've done the right thing here - to contact them instead of playing it cool?

    I don't think this is the best scenario for me. I would much rather work elsewhere now. But I'm not sure how far along another viable opportunity is. So I will 'make lemonade' if I have to. Assuming I still have a chance to...

  • Communication is always good, it shows you care and are on top of things... If they are getting mad because you are being detailed?...doesn't make sense... unless they want to hear thank you sir may I have another.....(my Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game)

    Joy is coming...

    Keep pounding the pavement, it will break


  • Hey Nick,

    Well looks like they're ignoring/avoiding me - no replies to my email.

    You know I've had several occasions when people did that to me. A guy I used to date distanced himself with no explanation a year ago. And my ex boss... the whole month I served out notice, we bumped into each other in the elevator or corridor... he just smiled and acknowledged my presence, but ignored the impassioned email I sent him the day I received my termination letter. He pulled the plug on me and yet never had the courtesy to arrange to talk to me before I left the company.

    I'm applying all over the place - no interviews yet, hope something will turn up soon. Yes I hope the pavement will give, and not my feet - from all the pounding.

  • Keep plugging away...it will turn,

    if my memory serves me there was a line that said don't get involved in a risky project...I took it as the job offer you had...and also if I remember correctly...you will find joy towards the end of the reading...keep making it happen and it will. Don't get down and question if you are doing the right thing...you are...

    see easier to read now

    "ok right off the bat...change, disruption and conflict....but that usually brings better things from it

    you have the power to get what you need... don't lose hope

    things are still stagnant... you will stay where you are

    caution in getting involved in poor risks

    you just had a false start"

    so you know what the conflict was and don’t lose hope…and the false start was you thought you had the job

    "What is going on is not going to make you happy...a few storms to ride out

    again you will stay where you are"

    Takes some time..you are going thru now

    "you understand you are at a cross road....it will make you stronger, you will be able to deal with it

    you have someone watching out for you"

    you will be stronger for this

    "joy is coming...fill your heart with that and people will respond positively

    and you will get what you deserve, things will work out"

    your being positive by pounding the pavement…keep pounding and joy will come.

  • Hey Nick,

    I have a job offer on hand for a temp job, but I'm going for another interview tomorrow for a contract position for a year. This second one will pay less but it's more long term - I need that kind of stability now. I hope to get feedback soon after the interview - else I'll accept the temp job (praying it doesn't get rescinded).

    The temp job is only for a few months but it's still a good opportunity/stepping stone. And I'm taking a risk by stalling the temp job offer in order to go for the interview for the longer term contract job. But I want to give myself that chance.

    With luck, I could be in a new job on Monday - fingers crossed. I'll make the best of it, whichever one. I pray to not be left out in the cold again (that previous company has completely ignored me after I asked for the benefits list - so I let it be).

    I hope whatever I'm doing is right. I can't afford to make a mis-step again....

  • Oh geez, I spoke too soon.. that previous company finally replied my email. The manager stopped short of telling me that the job is still on table. She said she hoped I understood they could not provide the benefits list in writing, but she provided a brief overview of it.

    I'm a little flabbergasted - I had not expected this job might still be available. But I just feel so far gone, by the way I feel they have treated me...ignoring, delaying, reluctance to share full details of the benefits in b/w. They had been advertising for candidates the last few weeks... so my gut feeling is that they 'kept' me in case, during these 2 weeks of silence, while they interviewed people. And perhaps they couldn't find/or are not sure they can get someone who is willing to accept the amount they want to pay me.

    Why do people do this? When you forget about them and move on, then they re-surface in your life.

    I feel this original company have been very insincere with me. They are not as keen to hire me as they were in December - that's my feeling. Even in her email, there's no indication they want me to start asap even though I should have started work in January. It's almost February now...

    I need to start work now but they could very well drag this on some more... And I'm afraid to re-consider the prospect of working with them. I just don't trust them. It's a permanent job but right now, I think I would rather take that temp job - because at least it's a sure thing (provided I indicate acceptance in time).

    Feel very vexed. I've been in so many unfavorable job situations in the past. Once I signed a letter of intent and the job became unavailable out of the blue and the agent stopped talking to me. I have also been promised a job that never materialized and I missed out on other opportunities in the process. And another time, I was given false (over-estimated) information about the earning potential of a job only to find I could not make ends meet.

    Right now, I just want to get through my interview (for the long term contract position) tomorrow, and hopefully I'll have a clearer picture of things.

    Nick, what do ya think? worried I'm not thinking straight. Do you think I can trust the original company. Or should I just focus only on the temp job and the longer term contract role?

  • From the 10,000 foot level,

    First take emotions out of the picture...

    You have a job offer...(when its convent for them) full time...with less that what you expect and maybe the benes are or aren't what you expect...

    You have a opportunity for a short term temp job...usually some kind of base money...maybe benes...usually on the lower end...at least from my experience when I did temp work.

    Longer term temp... maybe a little better pay...the same type of benes...which you need to think about ...i think your knee?... it adds into the mix money wise...10%, 20% and co-pay adds up.


    ok, you have said you don't mind long term temp work, it's what you are used too

    hopefully the money is close to what your expecting and same with benes

    short term temp, will get you out of the fire with money problems...worry less because you have a job...short term waiting for something else to come along

    Perm job, already pissed you off and you have to sign a non compete...so even if take it and look for another perm job..may hamper you, but you know your safe for a while


    long term, you are already set off. Which means a year from now you won't be happy the new polish has worn off and you will be looking to better yourself

    Long term temp, your back in the same boat looking for a job,

    short term...damn the job is over and i need money again...

    add information in between make the list grow... that was what I could remember from our conversations.

  • Nick you're really good at breaking it down this way - even though I probably confused you.

    You're right for the most part. The 1 year contract role (for which I've got an interview later today) is offering the least money but there'll be benefits. It is possible the role may be extended beyond the year, just that they do not have an approved headcount. But that will depend on my performance and the economy I guess. No guarantees. But another possibility is that I'll want to move anyway, because of the salary.

    I failed to mention that for the perm job (which finally replied me yesterday), they are at liberty to terminate the job with 1 week's notice in the first 3 months and 1 month notice thereafter. It's not a permanent job in that sense. I could also leave on the same terms. I replied her email, asking if I could start work on Monday if I accepted their offer. I want to see how fast they are prepared to respond. I worry that I could hang on to hope that I have a job with them, and turn down viable job offers (whether temp/contract) - and in the end, they decide they don't want to hire me, or they only want me in a few months.

    I've had the experience of signing a letter of intent, and then the job suddenly doesn't exist, so I guess I'm very skeptical of companies now.

    With the temp job, moneywise, same as perm job. Little in benefits. Buys time for me to find a better job, but I could also be stuck jobless for months again after that (who knows). So you're right - it is a quick fix. And I will only take this if the other two aren't viable.

    Both the temp and the contract role are through an agency, so there is an unfavorable clause whereby I am not allowed to leave within 3 months else I have to pay them back 1 month's salary. All 3 roles have an anti-competition clause, though the details are different.

    I know that on paper, the perm job seems like the sure thing - and there is an opportunity for promotion. But they're not doing anything much to show they want me. I've been doing the chasing - and I gave up because they've not been responding.

    To me, if I can get an offer for the 1 year contract role, that seems the most favorable, even though it offers the least money, because even if there is no extension, I will learn a lot (that might make it easier to find a job). Best case scenario: extension or conversion to perm after a year (anybody's guess).

    But there is 1 thing I have not considered carefully in the past, and which is still affecting my thinking. I keep going on the assumption that additional experience makes it easier to get a job. But I have found that the older I get, the harder it is to find job even with more experience.

    For both longer term roles, there is no guarantee of longevity. Sometimes it's more than the duration of employment that counts. I want to feel like I'll be working in a respectful environment where you don't feel you want to leave. Perm job and i already got off on the wrong foot. And I have no idea about the company offering the 1 year contract.

    I think I could be bound for employment in some other field eventually (because I don't see the sustainability of the type of jobs I'm doing right now). I think I need to pick up a different trade and acquire skills. But i need time to figure out what that could be. And I will only be able to start the transition in a few years, after I've managed to clear all my debt. So it's about getting financially stability till then.

  • I was hoping the temp job was offering more... when I went looking the year job that can go three but usually doesn't...offer more per hour but limited benes... I guess that is not the same all over... I never ended up leaving my perm job (even though I feel like a number); I have stayed thru the cuts..8000 plus to i think just over 2000.... so i'm good enough but the pressure stinks. They still hold it over your head... not fun to see friends go, but you keep your head down and pray it's not you...hahaahha...That’s why i am not saying to close any doors...i know it’s tough. experience thing is good but anything you do transcends if you can sell it right. Also building up your tool belt is good too. I am a systems engineer but went to school for project management...i’m good with people and analyzation....so I have a new tool...just in case...but I have learned that tools transcend... yes you need the basic but they can bend the rules when they want someone. The perm job is tricky...i never heard of so many outs...not that it matters...all they have to do is we need to cut because of management decision and its gone anyway...so don’t shut the door...open as many doors as you can..gives you more options...then make the best decision you can...and work with it.

  • Nick,

    8000 to 2000 - wow that is scary! Yes it appears nowadays we are expected to be loyal to a company but they are free to kick you out for whatever reason.

    The interview didn't go very well, at least not in my mind. It is an interesting scenario. I went in expecting a support function type role, but they're expecting to hire someone who has aspirations to go further. The manager wants an apprentice, so to speak, who will be his 'shadow' and hopefully take on some of his responsibilities (in time), in addition to the support function duties - but they're not willing to pay for those expectations.

    I think they want someone who has decided to make this a career, and is willing to put up with the pay to learn the skills. There is great potential for learning, but I never saw myself doing it as a career. I do not have passion for the field (HR), it is just a job to me, at the moment. And I don't know if I can rise to the expectations if I don't have passion for this line of work.

    I thought that my real passion lies elsewhere - just that I've yet to find it. In my mind, it is something physical, like fitness or perhaps therapy. I have no interest in working in the corporate line or climbing the ladder.

    But there is a question of sustainability. My current skillset puts me at risk of unemployment. It would be a good thing to learn from a mentor (he doesn't seem like a nice guy though...) but in this situation, it almost feels like they're taking advantage of the people they're hiring. Because there won't be an opportunity for promotion within the company/group as the structure of the roles are already set. And one will have to head out again eventually I think.

    I'm actually more suited to the style of working and job scope at the perm job - if only they'd take things more seriously with me.

    I have no idea if I did well enough to get an offer for the contract role. It seems like I didn't. I won't know till next week - but if I want to wait, I'll have to forgo the temp job. If I do that, and if I don't land the contract, and if the perm job fizzles out again, I'm in trouble...

  • Ok I bit the bullet and called the perm company to ask directly if they plan to hire me and if so, can I start work asap. The manager told me she'd have to check with the boss if he had other candidates in mind, as my offer expired end Dec. I'm like??? I know it was valid till end Dec but they didn't reply my initial response until January and there have been a few emails and calls since. Why did she bother to entertain me if they weren't still keen? Gosh they're really playing games. I wrote one more email stating that I have another offer and if I don't hear from them first thing tmr, I am going with another job.

    And I think I've decided to go with the temp job and buy time to find a more suitable job, even though I'll be locked in for at least 3 months. I would have liked to go with the 1 yr contract job but I really have no idea if I can get an offer - and they will not be making a decision this week. Temp job offer is only valid till tomorrow morning.

    I'm taking an unusual step, but in the light of lack of information, i'd rather be employed than not. I hope the agent I've been speaking with can help me look out for something better. Well if perm job reverts, things could change - but I don't

  • see that happening. And frankly, I'm not sure I can trust them anymore.

  • I am glad you made a choice, I like your thinking. Laying it out helps you see it better sometimes. At work we talk on the white board..and we hash things out. So you know you are not just settling to settle. The temp job means money will come in and it will give you time to adjust. You won't put your all in something that you don't like. Once you have money coming in you can start to think about the longer term. you mentioned "something physical, like fitness or perhaps therapy" look at what you need to fulfill that; I'm guessing schooling and spending money...wooo wooo.. So figure out that it is a long term goal. First thing that can happen is an idea...then plan on how to make that idea work...break it down..plan it out. if you can't afford it right now...find out where you need to be and how much it will cost you and what steps would be next. This way you can prepare yourself for when the time is right..

    You say you didn't do well in the interview. Part of it was the direction the job was going in so you might have given off negative body posture or not totally engaged...just guessing from what you had said... Being this will be a temp job you have more interviews coming. Try to wow the next one even if you hate the job... the trick to interviews is to sell yourself...the better you are the more opportunity you have. It is a mindset besides skills. I have been on a few interviews that i know I nailed for the temp jobs...but got to talking and both realized I was in a better position where I was...trick is to be personable...that feeds as a good worker...able to get things done...blah blah blah.... its a game..on their side how much can I get for not a lot put out...its a number game...bottom line...which is what you are running into...so if you don't want to play the ladder game and keep wiping the brown off...figure a new game...it just may take time for the new rules...(by the way I hate the ladder game and I don’t play it well, I understand it…so I am building my tool belt just in case)

  • Thanks Nick for being so patient...

    It helps me to broaden my perspective when you relate your own experiences with work etc.

    The thing is I don't know what i want to be doing with my life. I just figure that it isn't in the corporate world, it isn't in an office. It isn't in strategies or management. I like to write, but not fiction and not in the creative sense. I also like to be active somewhat and to have a skill. But you are right - it will entail further learning which I cannot take on (extra costs) until I have cleared current debts. So the current plan is to earn enough to settle debts (and hopefully not incur anymore) and have some financial stability. It may be a few years before I can start to make real plans about my future...

    I don't know if it is that I lack drive and ambition - or that I haven't found the right 'forum' to awaken that energy. It's never been about climbing the ladder to me. I steer clear of that. But then a lack of foresight and circumstances have landed me in a place where i worry about unemployment. Because I haven't stayed constant and haven't risen through the ranks, I've been stuck with work experience but at a junior level and junior payscale. All the while doing work which now seems meaningless. I take pride in my work but I don't have passion for any of it.

    Not sure if I mentioned, but I was actually considering going back to school to learn physiotherapy (if I could get a scholarship) when I got my latest back injury a few months. It hasn't gone away and it precludes me from any 'physical' job. Aside from that, I have this niggling range of joint problems that have prevented me from trying to explore a career in dance and fitness. Those are the things that I enjoy - that I could have a passion for - but yet there are roadblocks there. But it is also a competitive industry in which there's a dearth of jobs. So I keep wondering if I should hold on to hope that I will be able to revisit those options one day, or just accept that I may have to think of something else.

    I wish someone could tell me what trade I'm meant to do and I could just go learn to do that. And make a career out it. I need progression or to be progressive in my life. I know I'm getting there emotionally, but not in the physical realm. I don't know how to get progressive, if I cannot figure out what is the starting block - the thing I'm supposed to create and build on. Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time - and I wonder how I will survive in a world where I feel irrelevant.

    I didn't have a choice but to give a sort of ultimatum to the perm job company, because they've been stringing me along. When I called yesterday, I was expecting to get an answer or that she would call me back with an answer. But nada.... So i shot off that second email saying I need to know, else I'm taking another job. But by the time they respond to my email, I will have accepted the temp job...

    So I really hope I'm making the best decision here, going with the temp job. I can't go on false hope that I 'might' get the 1 year contract role. I hope there will be more interviews to come and that my chances of finding a better fit of a job improve. I just want to move forward. It's ok if it's in baby steps - maybe that's all I'm ready for - but I want to feel that I'm moving on with my life and that it just gets better from here...

  • It is never to late to start something new, you can get by...

    How about technical writing, sounds like you have experience... contracts, SOWs...customer docs...that will give you a niche and usually it has finite times to get it done so it is structured.

    I know right now your hurt, but try part time maybe night jobs. I know you dance and my girls went to night dance classes..There are a ton of studios... physical therapy..not sure if you can get part time, but if you can get into the training room that will let you see if its satisfying enough...you looking for experiences...if you’re not actually doing it at least be around it so you can learn and benchmark the good and bad.

    Here are some thoughts, a friend and I both hate the corporate game. I guess I'm mid level somewhere but I hate the kiss up game that is played. So I have settled, and I enjoy working from home so it balances out. I use the extra time to be near the kids..and did extra to build my tool belt...and still working on that slowly. Am I totally happy? no...I think I can do more but it wasn’t worth all the extra hours away from the kids that it would have taken...so there is sacrifice but I gave up to get....has it made me wealthy...no... but I know i was there and that gives me peace. When I was young I owned a business and that was 6 days a week...easy 12 hours a day... Was it worth the money?...no..was I away from my daughter...all the time, but there was a pride of doing a good job at something I was good at... at the time it was all I knew but I was an entrepreneur...so I sacrificed time...it was a lesson. So what I am trying to say...is its never too late to learn...or start something new...and there is a sacrifice to things that you do...the question comes down to you is it worth it?

  • Hi Nick,

    I know what you mean. It's about finding that balance and knowing what's truly important to you.

    I have made sacrifices, and they've all been worth it. I think my quandary is in determining the direction I want to follow and what that might entail (sacrifices and all), insofar as a new career path is concerned. As long as I don't know what that is, it's hard to conceptualize anything.

    Technical writing - I hadn't thought of that. It's funny you mentioned it, because I came across a job like that. They want to hire someone who can learn a new system quickly and work with IT to develop end user training manuals. I thought it was interesting, but it's not quite my cup of tea. I'm not really technically oriented. The contracts I've drafted were from existing templates. I could probably document work processes though - I've done that before as part of my handover in my previous job. It's amateurish but I reckon it was more useful and detailed than the stuff that was left to me by my predecessors.

    So I start my new job tomorrow. A little nervous.

    It will be nice to have purpose again and to learn new things and to have a pay check (lol). Although I will really miss having loads of free time.

    I thought about what you said. It is a good idea to be able to observe a therapist. But it’s not possible – unless I’m a trained aide, or already studying to be a therapist. I’m not sure this is the direction I want to pursue in the future, but it could be a possibility. Am just going to try to heal in the meantime, and work towards affording sports rehab.

    How old are your girls? I have been taking dance classes all along (just much less since the injury).

    There’s a sudden inspiration. I want to do things, almost as if to make up for lost time. It’s a bit difficult without financial means and with the injuries, but I’m already thinking in terms of saving up to do short courses, perhaps a technique class or maybe some certification (beginners) – if only for my own satisfaction.

    In the past, I’ve thought about things, but I never actually did them. Somehow the interest will just fizzle out. I pray that that is not the case here. I have been suffering from joint problems for years and these made me not want to commit to any sort of additional training or classes. But having this back problem, seeing how it has affected me… has made me want to take back my life. Perhaps it does take some pain suffering and hardship, emotionally, physically, financially – to provide some sort of push. And I’ve certainly gone through a lot of that lately. Maybe once I get into the right frame of mind to create opportunities to learn or to experience – then perhaps the financial part will start to fall in place, not least because I will feel motivated to save for these things. Like a goal.. I haven’t set any goals in a very long while. So I’ll have to start small. And I also don’t want to aggravate the injuries, but I need to find a way to grow, in spite of that.

    I also want to get involved in doing things. I have a friend who’s in her 50s and she’s been taking all kinds of dance classes, participating in parades, mass dance events – she’s really developed a lot of confidence and is almost like a whole different person. I want that for myself too. To come a little more out of my shell. Slightly bigger Baby steps for this introverted soul.

    It’s the most optimistic I’ve felt in a while. I hope my first day goes ok. I hope things work out in this place and something better comes after that.

  • With the technical writing, you seem to like to learn new things so playing with the new system would be learning...plus you don't have to re-invent the wheel, you can borrow from past practices. It is just a matter of finding a source and bending it to what you need. Being you like to write and not novels... it is structured writing or setting up PPT slides and putting what is needed.

    A side thought..combine the back problems with strengthen therapy and dance... chances are if has happened to you other people are in the same boat. Find a way to dance that is not strenuous, creates flexibility...and makes you stronger.. so combine the physical therapy and dance... for some reason ty-chi comes to mind...find new niches and present them...all starts with small ideas...if its fun build on them. If it becomes interesting and a lasting idea do a business plan...that will spend a lot of time building the idea even stronger..and it wont cost you to spend time on the idea...just planning and thinking.

  • Hi Nick,

    I saw your point, so I did apply for the job. But I don't think I've been shortlisted, or I would have heard from them by now.

    It's an interesting notion you thought of.. Dance requires flexibility, agility and strength - it can build on existing abilities, but it can't create it. If you do not have an adequate starting combination of those components, you can easily get injured. And with some people, the extra twist comes in the form of anatomy that is ill suited for dance (which is part of my problem).

    A while back, I thought of learning both pilates and eventually having classes that accommodates those who have injuries. Or if I became a therapist, I could use pilates based strengthening. But with the injuries, all these thoughts don't make sense at the moment. I've had to give up my pilates classes because my muscle response is all messed up. Instead of strengthening, it's causing tension and misalignment.

    Anyways, I started my new temp job... and I'm kinda disappointed. Suddenly felt I'm really in the wrong field, wrong type of work. And wrong environment. So much gossip and disillusion. It's more than new job jitters. I'm not the right fit for the job - a little too introverted and reticent I think. I had hoped that it would be a smooth sailing few months and I'd buy time to find another job. But now I'm wondering how I'll make it to the first pay check. Still applying for other jobs and hoping something else will turn up. Do you see anything there for me?

Log in to reply