Tarot Nick - may I have a reading?
Here you are,
A reminder of who you are, you can do anything you put your mind to
Some money but it doesn't last
You want something, but look at all the details, don't be blinded by want
Something new is coming
Watch your emotions, something is going to trigger you...remember deep breaths
A woman who is kind but firm, watching out for you...stern feeling
Your bouncing from thing to thing, need to focus
Your worried about things working out (where's the darn easy button), think it out, make a plan and make it happen
A guy not as nice as he seems, he has issues
You are feeling stuck and dull, need to think a way out
Some fighting and obstacles to over come, don't be meek, find a way
Hope that helps
Thanks so much
Yeah I keep going round and round because I'm drawn to this direction, but there are so many obstacles (no easy button at all). And I keep thinking it shouldn't be this hard, what am I missing. I really don't know...
I think I have been focusing too much on the nurturing aspect of the work (which will come more naturally for me) that I haven't really considered if I can handle (or would enjoy) the more logical/technical/focused aspects of it - which is actually the main nature of the work.
This new thing requires me to have the instinctive ability to retain large amounts of info, and to synthesize that quickly and draw conclusions - based on info presented and unknown variables - think on my feet and out of the box, and take decisive action. And to continually think up alternative scenarios, and their solutions - and be able to implement these as necessary.
Pretty much like a computer brain.
I am analytical to a certain extent - but it seems not to the extent that would make me effective at this occupation. I want to be to be an enhanced version of myself, and not force myself into being whom I'm not because of perceived gains. I see reason and logic but I tend to go by instinct and intuition.
It does feel like I don't have what it takes. And that's not in a self-deprecating way. How would I go from being an Artist to a Scientist?
And if not this, what is the real match?
See that is why the first card came up, what ever you want you can make happen, and I am not just blowing smoke...I don't have the suck up gene in me...you should be smiling now.
Hey I just started a job that I know will not last, but I will suck all the knowledge I can for as long as I can..I am nervous and frustrated, all pushing new lessons that I will add to my tool belt...not fun ones, so you are not in the boat by yourself, we are here with you...oh pass the bailer were going down...hahaha
Haha yeah you know it. Smiling already
I know I can always count on you.
Good luck there at your new job - so happy that you've found something.
You see I've realized that I have this 'chameleon nature' - it's quite literally what you're saying that whatever you want, you can make happen. I did well in school in subjects I hated, because I was able to make understand what my brain didn't want to comprehend. But I'm also starting to be aware that it doesn't necessarily end up in me getting what I really want - if that makes sense. I'm trying to get to the heart of what is truly meaningful to me, as it pertains to a job/vocation. And that's been the hard part.
There was a time... a long time ago, when I was all black and white and all about reason and logic. Not in touch with my emotions. Very detached. At that time, I could indeed memorize large amounts of info and churn it out. If I had done the course then, I know I would have been able to cope (in this aspect). It's almost 20 years later now...my brain is less efficient, I have a short attention span and I also approach life differently. It's gonna cause brain damage if I try to force myself to retain and integrate info. But in a more holistic sense, because I'm a 'softer'/kinder person and more open-minded, I'm more well-suited to this line of work in general (but perhaps not this particular occupation).
I think that I want a career that involves movement and healing, but with an integration of mind, body and soul. I will struggle if the course is only from a scientific perspective - and it seems that this one is. But the knowledge and qualification are valuable because it opens doors and allows me to take other courses I have an interest in, many of which I cannot access as a lay person. There doesn't seem to be a direct route towards the things which may suit me more, and no employment opportunities.
I don't want to be on this ship. Much rather be a dolphin and swim away.
I see the value of this process - it's opening up my mind to possibilities. But I want to know the answer already... I don't want to consider, and re-consider, and consider something else, rinse and repeat. Can't move forward unless there's something to move forward with.
With regards to the guy who has issues, is it someone I'm already interacting with or someone I will meet?
I'm deciding whether to change my primary physical therapist (male), and work with 2 new practitioners (male & female).
My present therapist is good, but he may not be the right one to get me where I need to go.
I feel stuck and dull because I haven't made enough progress, and it impacts all these study plans I want to move towards.
I re-read the other thread and I started laughing, the first thing I thought was suck it up... hahaha
If the goal you said has a rocky road in its path, then put the hiking shoes on and start off, when the path clears you can switch shoes. Then you can look back and feel that accomplishment.
The guy is coming,,
Is the firm woman the Dr?
The rest seems about you fighting your decision.
Write it down, weigh it from all sides, you will figure it out. Key is to figure out what the goal is and the how to accomplish IT
Yes I believe the firm woman is the female therapist - just met her yesterday. Kind and easy to talk to, but firm and no-nonsense.
Hmm, that doesn't bode too well for the other male therapist (new) that I want to work with - unless this 'iffy' dude is someone else.
Yeah I am fighting the decision all right. Female therapist produces results but her approach is too full-on, current therapist is a bit more passive but his approach is more grounded and balanced...and it resonates with me on a soul level. I need a bit of both because the goal is holistic healing. I don't imagine that it will be concurrent for forever, just until we get me strong enough then I will just go with one - probably the current guy. The tricky bit I'm assuming is that he won't like it if i say I want to work with him and the lady. It's a bit like undermining his capabilities. I'm not trying to do that - I only mean to capitalize on both their strengths...to help speed up the healing.
This is the dilemma with 2 people - can you imagine if I add the third guy?
My two cents,
Well I'll cheat and go with the stern women, she felt like she was trying to watch out for you.
I have nothing against holist healing, but It comes down to if you know the problem...can it be solved, or if is a reoccurring problem, can you build the muscles around it to make them stronger. I am not trying to pry , I am just being engineerish....I can't spell and I'm making up words...
Well the guy is exactly what you mentioned. It's just that he's gentler in terms of technique and energy. Haha, her hands are made of iron and there's only so much force I can take.
I need a bit of 'tough love' to get things moving faster, but too much and it will go south. Know what i mean? But she is very experienced and more self-assured - I have to say.
Funny you mentioned Engineerish. That concept is twirled around in my confusion regarding the possible career path. I feel as if I'm trying to be an Engineer (of sorts), when i'm ill-suited to be one. Feels as if I am trying to force an outcome that will make me miserable. Don't wanna end up feeling like a fake who cannot function in real employment. It did happen once before....
Eg I could decide to apply for the Engineering program, and then I would struggle tremendously and probably flunk out because my brain just cannot process the concepts. Whereas, I would find it challenging (but interesting) if I could take a Dance program - because the affinity for it is already in me, even if the ability is still in its infancy.
I want to feel that bit of confidence in this Therapy course - but so far, I'm in the smog. It's so important to get the right match - and I can't squash the doubts that I'm wrong for this.
I think I might have met the man you mentioned in your last reading. Is there anything else I should know about this person?
I wasn't able to find another job so I've had to renew my current one. Am trying to come to terms with that and also keep looking out for something else. What do you see ahead on this situation?
I'll try tonight,
Here you are
Your ok just being you, enjoy the quiet
But you are fighting restlessness
What you set your mind too, you will work it out
Carefull you don't over do it, too much is no good
Make sure you are balanced and you will be fine
Some stuff coming, people and emotions... need distance
Some people working against you...it adds to the stuff
The person you have been worrying about can talk themselves out of any problems
Keep up the spirit's, you will be ok, just keep fighting
Someone has a choice to make, but it won't just fall in the lap
There seems to be confusion and indecision
Hope that helps,
Some tension with my female therapist - so I think some of your reading is about that. She's good at her job but she is also pushing me into exercises my body is not ready for. I have been injured before with this kind of approach, so I get hesitant and paralysed with fear. When she sees me in that state, she makes verbal attacks and assumptions about my actions/intentions/feedback. Some people perform better with that kind of goading/coaching - but it makes me upset and angry. I do not respond to bullying. It takes a lot for me not to just walk out. If her goal is to show me I can do it, it's not working, instead it's reinforcing the fear/distrust - esp when I am the one who has to nurse strain injuries, pain and discomfort in between sessions.
Yeah lots of confusion - mostly job related I guess. Knowing I need to leave - but having to stay put because there's no job to move to. I'm suppressing the urge to just resign without a job.
Can you elaborate on "someone has a choice to make, but it won't just fall in the lap"? And also, "Careful you don't over do it, too much is no good?
The too much and balance went together, listen to your body.
The last two lines went together as well, it didn't fell like it was your choice, but something you were feeling for someone else, it made me pause, which is why I say that
Some of the other lines was I think you have more family fun coming, well not fun, but I am playing nice, you need a smile.
And as always, if you want it go get it, the reminder is there, you have that in you
Yikes - onslaught of spam. Thanks for rescuing the post.
So "Someone has a choice to make, but it won't just fall in the lap" and "There seems to be confusion and indecision" - is not about me, but what I feel someone else is going through? Trying to wrap my head around that...
Oh that kind of "fun" Sigh, it's always fun with these guys. When you mention fighting, I usually assume it's family related or me against myself. I keep thinking if only everyone would just be a bit more considerate, and pitch in... we'd get along better. But..it's like they like
Nick - does it get easier? Energetically, it feels like I'm getting a 2nd go at things, but i don't know how to channel it properly.
I'm in this loop of being efficient at coordinating what needs to be done with regards to the house, care-giving and the injury rehab/home exercise routine. But there are so many other things I want to do for myself (not just education/career-related, but smaller things - like improving my room/living situation).
I'm trying to follow your advice to break things down into smaller chunks, just achieve things bit by bit. But I'm unable to focus on getting any one thing done to completion. I do a little here or there, and then I sit there and look at the pile accumulating. It affects me at work too - I am far less efficient than I want to be. I know I can make things happen if I could coordinate myself better - but i seem to have lost...something.
You havent lost anything, its still in you. The readings a few times gently nudges you to believe in you. Sometimes we lose sight of it and I am just as guilty of doing it too, you are not alone. One stone at a time is all you can do, keep the hope, its still in the box...I get tired of clicking my heels, I think I broke the shoes...red is not my color....hahaha must be late
Been staring at an unopened box containing a rack for 3 months and finally fixed some stuff up. Partly because the back injury limits the physical things i can do, partly because of a total lack of motivation. It's only a fraction of what needs to be done, and tomorrow I'll remember the huge pile of stuff. But at least there's one less thing.
You would think by now, with all the chipping away we've been doing, the mountain would have completely disintegrated. Where's the easy button?