Please help, thecaptain

  • Hi TheCaptain,

    I'm in a hard situation with a man.

    I don't know what to do, when to stop, stay or leave..

    My DOB is March 26, 1985

    His is February 3, 1986

    Please help me

  • This relationship will only work if it is kept light, like a casual companionship. Otherwise it will force its partners to confront their dark sides and may probe areas that are deeply emotional, even troubled. If this relationship can be kept from being too serious or heavy, then you can be good friends, enjoying each other's company and having fun together. The relationship is very communication-oriented so there will be many long discussions or debates between you. But it is the hidden and rather rigid structure of mental rules and obligations which the relationship fosters that will tend to make both of you feel uncomfortable.

    Problems arise here if you live together or get involved in a love affair. Your interactions would then become more complex and, often, disturbing. Conflicts will arise should you both compete verbally for the attention of other people, each one trying to steal the spotlight away from the other. Marriage here would not work well, since neither of you is likely to want to assume a more responsible role. Your friend doesn't look for trouble so he won't find a relationship with you easy to deal with, filled as you are with contrasting moods and outspoken attitudes. In a love affair for example, his insistence on an easy sensuality may be periodically disrupted by your dissatisfaction and frustration. Likewise, you with your more dynamic nature may come to resent what you perceive as his cloying and retarding influences in areas like your career.

  • He's my married boss. He treated me really nice and never did anything wrong to his wife.

    One day, he got really sick and there was nobody there except me. I stayed with him to looked after him. He looked at my eyes and told me "I love you" and told me that he doesn't know what to do and he's screwed when I'm not around (I took days off)

    He's a nice guy, always look after me, listen to my dream and pursue it with me. I look at him like a big guy, big brother, teacher and even father. I never thought about any further emotion with him until that day.

    We didn't cross the line, even if we were alone.

    I hope this is not an excuse to say that his wife was cheating on him (I didn't tell him about that). I do want to be by his side to grow the company and pursue our dreams. The thing is killing me right now is that he's unhappy.

    I don't know if I should leave him, leave the company. I don't know if it will save his marriage.

    I even think about dating other guy so that I can focus my emotion to that guy. But it's not fair and I'm such a bad person.

    I'm sorry for my long story..

    What should I do now?

  • You should NOT get into an affair with this man as it will only end badly for you. It is not your responsibility to make him happy. He would not leave his wife for you. There is no future for you with this man. If you cannot work with him as a friend and employee, you will have to find another job.

  • Hi captain,

    I decided to leave the company.

    I hope I'll get over things soon. 🙂

  • You will. It should be easier when you know you avoided a lot of messy pain and misery.

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