Insight appreciated



  • For the past few months I have been trying to come to grips with the end of a friendship. In the beginning of the year I was seperated from my husband and saidn friend and I seemed to get much closer and started talking about persuing a relationship. He then moved home on my advice to get his life in order and everything changed. The situation changed and I attempted to be friends with him again. I couldn't and finally wrote a letter to him saying I'm sorry please don't contact me again. I love and care for you and that is why it has to be this way. (I know it may not make sense but knowing he was out there and with someone else just hurt so bad) I just would love some guidance to start feeling better about this whole situation again.



  • Hi, This guy that moved back w/his parents did he have a relationship with someone else. Wasn't sure if I was reading it right. I think you did the right thing by him. You gave him the advice or kind shoulder at first. You also did the right thing in ending the relationship. You shouldn't feel bad because he really isn't your type. Can't turn a sparrow into an eagle In other words, people are what they are. You accepted the reality of the situation. A lot of people don't want to see the truth. You acted kindly and honestly. You did the right thing.



  • After he moved back he seemed to totally change and then he ended up hoping into bed with someone. That seemed to last a week and now he has some other girlfriend. I think the main reason I feel upset is yes I have feelings for him and I hate to turn my back on anyone I care for even if it is for the best.



  • Hi, I said a prayer this am to Jesus to open the hearts of everyone so that they could experience true Love as he Loves. Amen.



  • Don't look at it as turning your back. You are helping him find himself and figure out what he really wants and needs (just like you are giving yourself). When my ex and I broke up, we tried for our daughter's sake to rebuild the relationship, but we couldn't. I took the time to focus on me and on my needs, feelings, self-improvement, etc, and shut him out. The end result was that I found someone who loves me for me, has never cheated on or beaten me, and who considers my daughter to be his. She is very happy with my husband now, while she has a great relationship with my ex. If I had not released my ex to his own designs and me to mine, I would never have found this wonderful man. I think women tend to hang onto and fix relationships that are best fixed from far away. G-d bless!



  • Okay, this is how I see it. The harder road is usually the right road. That's why so many people make the wrong choices, they choose the easy way, and the easy way, I can almost guarantee you, is the wrong path.

    I think you are one of the strongest people I have ever read in this web site. You did the right thing, and the way you should know you did the right thing is by the pain you are experiencing. I call them growing pains. This man will soon be out of your head, and I can promise you God has something better coming your way. Remember that, you did the right thing, good for you, and I hope other people who read your post will learn from it and also make the right choices even though they are harder.

    Let this man go, God can not come in and initiate change until your heart has released him, it won't happen over night, but it must happen. Hold onto the notion that God is just waiting for your heart to heal before he sends anyone new your way.

    Hope this helps, keep us posted



  • My viewpoint I like your viewpoint. Thanks for your encouragement!



  • Thank you all.

    I have been through alot in my life and know my strength but I usually am slow to react to things until I have thoroughly worked through it in my mind or I am at breaking point. Most people find it annoying since I don't want to do anything on impulse and regret it later. I figure if I let it simmer for a while I can find the wise choice much easier than to just react.


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