Looking for insight, please
Hi guys. I was wondering if someone would be able to offer insight or guidance. I haven't been happy at my job, and while I like what I do, a lot of what leaves me dissatisfied is the way the company runs things and the management above. Also, while I'm friendly with most of the people I work with, I generally don't feel like I connect with them; there are some people I'm closer to, but the friendship hasn't extended outside of work. For a while I've contemplated going to work where my brother, sister,and sister-in-law work, and finally I recently applied and was offered a position.
The place I'm going to work at is an all girls academy that is a treatment center for teenaged girls with behavioral and substance issues. Many of the girls who come there has been in gangs, have been prostituted, abused/molested/raped, have drug dependencies, etc. They have learned to survive up to this point through manipulation and intimidation, and this school teaches them how to live. My family who work there values the work that they do, as hard as it can be. I hesitated in applying there because I thought my personality wasn't tough and aggressive enough and that I would be targeted. My sister has given me a better understanding of how the system works there, and assures me that I would be fine. I feel that I might be able to help these girls by being a positive role model for them.
It is a big change for me. I've never done anything like this, and I'm leaving a job that I know well for something completely foreign. Plus, there is my coworker I've had some major developing chemistry with; after I told everyone I was leaving, he seemed to go out of his way to interact with me, get me to linger after my shift, etc.
I'm wondering if someone might be able to give me some insight on this change and the new job itself, how good it will be for me and vice versa, the romantic situation with my coworker and the potential repercussions. Maybe advice on the best potential course(s) of action. Its important to me that not only the job be good for me, but more so that me being there be good for the girls (it breaks my heart, what they've been through, and I want what's best for them either way). I would really appreciate it.
Firstly, you are taking a very brave, but necessary step, leaving the familiar for something totally unknown to you. This will challenge you, sometimes to breaking point, but you will rise above it and make a success of it. Your motivation for doing this is pure, and whenever a person takes on a role like you are about to with those reasons for doing it, they become not just good at it, but great.
You must, however, not go in with the attitude that you're going to save these girls. They are the only ones who can save themselves, and they have to want to. You are there to point out better ways of living, how to adopt the right attitude towards themselves and their lives, and how not to take what's happened to them as a personal punishment. That is all. You need to be able to attend to and maintain your own life and quality of it. Do not make yourself a "wet nurse" for these girls. Remember, you can only point them in the right direction; it is up to them to follow that path.
You will get frustrated, and feel that you've failed the ones that are lost. So long as you have done your best by them, please grieve for the loss by all means, but don't take it as something you could have changed or done better. Beating yourself up will not help the next one or the next one. Learn from the mistakes you'll make, and grow from them. You are soft of nature, but sometimes going into an environment that threatens to challenge that softness and expose it, can be the very best place for someone like yourself to be, believe it or not. This job will heal you, as well as those you help heal, of which there will be many.
As for this colleague of yours who's suddenly taken an interest; he probably thought he could take his time because you'd always be there. Give him your number when you leave; then it's up to him as to what he does. I feel he may make some sort of move prior to you going, but it will be a bit "fumbled"; like, he's sort of tripping over his own feet He's a bit shy and just a little bit lazy when it comes to chasing a woman, but given the right circumstances, ie, your phone number in his hand, he might be pushed to do something.
You are about to embark on a new chapter in your life, and I feel you will benefit greatly from doing this. You'll have renewed confidence, a fresh zest for life and also you will believe you are doing something that makes the world a better place. As said above, this will be a healing phase for you, although I don't see you working in this field for the rest of your working life.
It's all good! And I think you'll have more of a "love affair" with this new job than a man to start with!!
Hope this helps!
I am up early and have been doing some readings and saw your post... I created a spread to look at your situations and I'll share what I see...
8 of swords > 3 of wands - this seems to be your old job and the choice to move on from that.
Knight of Pentacles - seems to represent the chemistry guy chasing you.
This has a 7 of pentacles above him, so he is dreaming of you for sure.
Then the Judgment card and the 2 of Wands, I think this is your stepping into the new job, changing lives of these girls at the school (resurrection) and the strong 2 wands choice to set yourself to a good work like this.
Then the 5 of cups with the High Priestess over that, and then a 10 cups all seems to be saying you will really love this new job! It may have some emotional adjusting at first (5 cups) and you will discover a lot of new things here (High Priestess) and then the 10 of cups shows you very happy and fulfilled.
Then the Page of Wands, Wheel shows this guy from your older job could very well be circling back and that is harmonized into a 2 swords love affair, very nice - and smart! And this all takes you to an 8 of cups which is very developed love, emotional life, all is wonderful here!
I see such amazing things coming for you it is hard to find the words!
That sounds so wonderful to have a work like that which you really feel connected and helping others I think that is so fantastic. Best to you in this new endeavor. And best wishes on your sparking love thing there I hope that turns into something very nice for the two of you.