Captain, your insight please!?
I am in the beginning stages of a relationship with a man who I am not sure why I am so drawn to, and he to me. He is a double Aries (3-28-54) and me a Libra (10-16-56) He is freakishly controlling, can be so obnoxious and offensive at times, but at other times, expecially when he finally realizes I won't talk to him unless he stops the behavior, he can be very charming and caring. He seems to be detached from the outside world, stays mostly in his house even to do business but also claims to be a bit intuitive and spiritual. I walked away from this several weeks ago but am now, after talking to him last night for a few hours, am reconsidering....I don't understand my attraction to this man. We have quite a few things in common but I am wondering if that is enough?
Can you tell me what you see about this relationship or its outcome or possibilities.
Thanks so much....it is so appreciated
Like all opposite signs, you are attracted by this man's differences to yourself. It is intriguing, risky, exciting, maybe even a little dangerous. But in the end you need someone with whom you can share beliefs and attitudes, who likes the same things you do, and who will treat you as an equal. After a while, his man's little 'quirks' that may now be just endearing annoyances to you will turn into big frustrations over time. At his age, it's unlikely he will want to change his ways now.
And you say this guy is nice only HALF the time? Don't you think you deserve someone who will treat you well a bit more than that?
This should definitely only stay as a friendship. Even as a non-love relationship, the struggle for power will be ever-present. Internal dissension and hard-headed determination will plague the relationship, damaging not only yourselves but those around you. A truce will have to be reached as to who is boss - if that can ever be decided and accepted by the other. Mutually kind, respectful, and understanding attitudes would have to be developed for this to work.
A love affair can can be complex and strongly unrealistic, especially with your friend's idealism and fixed ideas getting in his way of seeing things as they really are. There can be a curious and dangerous inability to let the relationship go, even once it has stagnated or gone downhill. Closure can be impaired or prevented by either your friend's dogged determination and loyalty or your indecision. You two may find yourselves locked in an ongoing struggle, in which his overtly aggressive side and your more passive-aggressive side will clash. Neither of you are particularly domestic types so living together would not be fun. You would get on better going out to eat and be with friends all the time, for when you return home, there would be an inevitable fight over tidying and cleaning up your living space.
A physical or sexual component can actually detract from this relationship, even if the friendship has a romantic quality. Its alchemy involves a strange blend of realism and fantasy, in which even the most mundane topics and experiences can seem exalted. Financial arrangements would need to be thoroughly discussed and finalized if you two ever make the mistake of marrying or living together, since separation would likely follow. There is a hard-driving, ambitious element to this relationship that would make the fair division of property and possessions impossible unless everything was cut and dried beforehand.
Thank you Captain. I think I knew all of this all along but needed to hear it from an objective person with some special insights. You pegged him exactly and it would surely be a disaster if we continued.
Plus tonight, I caught him in a pretty big lie, so that didn't help either. Is it his sign of Aries that makes him so angry, controlling and intractable or is there something else going on with this guy?
....and you are right, if I proceeded with a relationship with him, it would damage my relationship with my family as they would surely distance themselves because of his negative behavior.
Do you see anyone else coming in anytime soon.....so tired of dating and dating and nothing works out!!??
Once you are emotionally and physically free of this man and are open to love without any expectations, another man will appear like magic on the horizon.
Thank you Captain....shouldn't be hard to do with this one!!