Am I being paranoid or What the????

  • What is going on with my husband? I don't get it! I am not sure what is going on or if anything!

    In the past I caught my current husband handling himself while I believe looking at another women on the cell phone. He also had a bad addiction problem at one time with drugs but has been clean and sober almost 10 months.

    To make matters worse my first husband left me for my best friend about 5 years ago and I still have problems from that situation mentally so it is hard for me not to look for a spouse to cheat on me! I caught the situation by cell phone messages.

    So I don't know if I am concerned because of the past or because of the current!

    Can somebody please shed some light here? Is something go on behind my back with my husband or am I just paranoid?

    Me 10/23/1972

    Him 10/29/1978

  • Him 10/26/1978


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  • A universal truth is that you get from life what you expect from it. Because of your bad past experience, you fear that all your partners will be cheaters. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you expect your husband to never 'play with' himself? That's unrealistic.

    How would you feel if your husband was always watching you for signs of unfaithfulness? He may think "Well, she suspects me of cheating so maybe I should just live up to her expectations of me."

    Is this about lack of trust and a fear of abandonment? Or is it about an insecurity you have regarding your own attractiveness or lovability? Maybe you just never feel secure or safe - safe to be yourself wherever you are or whoever you are with. Certainly your self-confidence must have taken a blow with your ex's infidelity, but don't let it ruin your other relationships.

    According to your astrological profiles, this can be a productive match between you and your current partner, replete with good feelings - or it can fritter its time away in debates and arguments. Part of the problem is deciding who will take control or make the major decisions - it is often impossible for the two of you to reach a mutual agreement and, if a situation is to be resolved, one of you must take on a leadership role. It is at this point that power struggles usually surface, sometimes resulting in a no-win situation where things just wind up staying the way they are. You may both actually prefer it that way, since you both secretly enjoy the debate and stimulation that would be eliminated by agreement or strong leadership.

    This relationship is often paradoxical - it seems to involve strong-minded individuals who know what they want, yet you two are beset by indecision and by fuzzy, even irrational thinking. Beneath your daily interactions lies a streak of perversity that sometimes threatens to subvert all your constructive efforts. This self-destructive tendency undercuts many of your shared endeavours. If however you two can devise a way of reaching agreement, such as giving up your power struggles and irrational suspicions, you may find you actually get along quite well.

    A love relationship here will be lively, even hectic and stressful. Sexual interaction will either go like a house on fire or not at all - an extreme reflected elsewhere as well. Sympathy and understanding, for example, can alternate with coldness and incomprehension, leaving you both uncertain, frustrated, and bewildered. Learn to stand back and take a look at yourself and your behaviour. Be aware of the true motivations behind your thoughts and actions. Make the decision to end self-destructive behaviour for good, and strengthen your willpower.

    It all comes down to how you want to live and who you want to be - do you always want to be the suspicious, mistrustful type who never feels safe enough to stop keeping an eye on others or do you want to become more carefree and trusting, confident and happy in yourself despite what anyone else may do in your life? People may do bad things to us but we don't have to take it personally.

    It's your choice.

  • Thanks Captain. I really thought I was being over concerned due to the past.

    Me and my husband are very close, closer then what I have ever been with anyone and a lot of times we "feel" other each even when we don't talk (hes working) and we know exactly what the other person is going thru. I have even gotten sick if he's sick and not known he was. He's done the same with me. So needless to say because we are that close when I start thinking wrong I am wondering if its really happening or its just me.

    Thank you for reminding me its a choice, you are right! I have an opportunity to be really happy if I just let go of the past!

    BTW the bedroom stuff here is "rocking!!" 😄

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