Sooo hard to move on
I was lucky to have 2 months of wonderful vacations at my mom's home, where I always get fully recharged and very spoiled from her unconditional love and dedication.
Now i am back home again, ready to focus in finding a job and dealing on so many other issues I have. however, I find myself in the same emotional state as I was before I left. It is about this neighbor of mine which is non stop in my mind. I have done many efforts in the past to get busy and let go of the idea of him. but I have succeeded only temporary and it was with some dose of anger when I did it.
to come at peace with myself I have come to the conclusion that I love him, but I don't need him. so no need do anything about. and still, I have this condition of having his presence through out the day with a lot of stressful feelings which makes my chest pomp in and out quite often. It feels as I am sick sometime and dreaded most of the time. I have to lay down through out the day from being tired quite often. I have
this doesn't happen when I was away, only when I come here.
this is a 5 year old story where i go in circles.
any one have any advice how to get rid of this ? I stay busy but it feels as a condition that can't let me be free. it is like I have no control over it anymore unless I move from here.
thank you for reading this.
watergirl18 last edited by
The answer is simple although you may not want to hear it....Move.
right, and it is interesting because I see we will have to be moving from here soon, for other reasons. it is like I am being helped, even though I am not ready for this yet. But what I suffer to understand is I don't know how to name this that has happen to me. is it obsession ?? or other stuff ?
watergirl18 last edited by
You are just clinging emotionally to something that is over. You don't really want to let go even though the situation has become toxic for you. Staying there allows you to remain attached to him in some way....seeing him, watching him, etc. You want the "closeness." It is important to pay attention to the signs that the Universe is sending you. Pay attention to your body - your physical symptoms as they are a sign when something is toxic or just not right for you. You felt better when you went to your mother's house, right? Then when you returned home, the symptoms returned as well. You really must let go. Completely. Yes, the Universe is behind "forcing" you to move as this is what is best for you. I see you trying to move forward, but being held back by a man - holding onto his hand with one of yours even though you are turning and trying to walk away. He is submerged in watery muck and holding onto you - pulling you down with him. But you are on solid ground. All you need to do is release his hand and you will be free to move forward. This situation is dragging you down, keeping you stuck. But it is ultimately your choice to be free and live again. Follow the Universe's lead and MOVE.
Watergirl Thank You so much !
it's amazing how you described it because I saw a dream when I was at my mom's home, just a little bit before coming here. I saw as I came here, I saw my neighbor in black and then his place was all the 'watery muck' you are describing with broken floor and dirt every where.
Still I wonder the man you are describing is my neighbor or my husband, because in reality the one I am trying hard to move away from and divorce is my husband, who won't let go of me and I strongly feel he is depriving me from being happy for sooo long.
AND also once I saw my husband submerged in mud and trying hard to hold on me. very vivid dream. His home too was separated from mine and submerged in mud.
while the neighbor is the unrequited love situation which is hurting me in some ways, without intention, because he can't give me what I want and I feel I am simply obsessed and still much in love with him.
I am happy though you saw me in the ground. Because there are times when I see myself depresses and scared of myself. And Yes ! I believe the universe is helping me and I am so much waiting one day to feel free of all this. Thank You again !