Reading please...it's been too long...I breath him
I am having a difficult time with my last relationship. My analytical side says forget it...but for the first time ever my heart has a mind of it's own! I am usually pretty good going through the break up phases and moving on with zeal....but NOT this time. I actually cry out of the blue and that bothers me.
Can some one please read me and him. Thank you to who ever wants to delve into this.
My birthday 11-21-67 4:18 pm Indiana US
His birthday 07-17-70 Shiprock, NM (I do not know the time)
You loved him and will again.
I feel you've been in relationships and taken an "analytical" and practical stance, which is why you've been able to move on easily. This time however, I feel he may have instigated the breakup to a degree, it became mutual, but you were hurting inside and didn't express it or give it proper vent.
You must vent these emotions. Acknowledge them, which you are it appears because you're crying "out of the blue". It will bother you, because this is a first for you. Although I sense something from way back in your past which caused great hurt from a male, and you closed yourself off from hurt ever since.
You are being asked to open your heart, which your tears are allowing you to do.
Don't let this bother you so much that you don't allow your grief to come and go.
You miss him. He misses you. There is somethign that came up between you from the past that has affected what you had. It is not insurmountable.
Do not allow pride or ego to get in the way here. This time your heart and soul is directing your path, and you must follow it. If you feel you must contact him again, do so.
If this relationship is beyond repairing (which I don't think it is), then your heart is opening to real, true experiences of love and passion. Which means you will find that same feeling again.
Your practical/analytical side certainly has its place, but should not always lead in relationships. You need to bring balance between the emotional and logical, which is what this situatiion is asking of you.
I wish you healing, and lots of love and light. Remember that after great sadness and loss, comes a new awakening leading to happiness. But we all must allow that process to run its course.
Good luck! Hope this helps
Thanl you so much for your time in looking into this. You are right. It seems he did instigate it to a degree.
And you are also right I did not get to express my feelings over it. He rented a truck and drove my belongings 1800 miles to me. He didn't really speak to me during or after unloading it all. He last words were "I don't want to argue, Don't excessivly email, txt or call me. You can say Hi every now and then and we can also talk about school." gave me a hug and drove off.
I have not had much contact with him since then (May28). Just him sending my printer that he missed in packing. And last month he sent a flashdrive with his school assigments.
And yes the pasy did get in the way. Namely ex's of his.
I am planning on moving back to his City for work and other reasons My son was happiest in that City and well frankly I realized that I was too.
I am a bit nervous of the feelings that loom around me regarding him. I have realized just like you advised about my practicle side and heart desires conflicting in this relatioship experience.
And YES ego and pride on both our parts was I am sure, our curse!
I have outgrown my pride now and realized how it gets in my way. Even though I have, I wonder if he has.
I know he loved deeply, like no other before me.
I do not want to interfere in his life if he is meant to go another way in love. I truely do not want to interfere in anyones true path.
I realize I do love him, a love I can not explain. But I want to be able to accept the fact if we are not meant to be.
Again Moon50! Thank you sooo much for your generousity.
Blessings to you!
I feel this is meant to be. You are being led back to where he lives. YOu are not meant to be apart from him for too long.
I swallowed my fear and sent him a simple txt that just said ...I Love u....and well he never replied.
I''m numb right now...and well that's it. I tried....now I know.
He is confused. Give him time to think it through. You tried, but I don't feel that what you think is right, actually IS.
Patience and faith.
I should heed my own advice
Well only the stars and cards know the truth...and i don't know how to read cards!
It's been over 24hr.
Thank you for yur support but i don't want to set myself up with false hope.
And we never take our own advice!
well it's about a week now...I'm feeling foolish.