I recalled seeing a reading request from you in one of my recent threads, but couldn't find it, so decided to post a fresh one up for you.
I could go blind without much prompting from you as to what area needs clarifying, or I could ask you what it is you want to know ... but I think I'll go blind!
I am getting so much pain physically! Like you're almost bent over and having much difficulty straightening up. So I feel your main issue is with health; is that right?
There are past issues of, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, childhood abuse though not necessarily from your parents. More like a "trusted" relative I think. This has left you scarred, doubtful and almost apologising sometimes for being here. I feel you have come to terms with a lot of these past memories, but that there is residue buried down deep that is preventing you from walking tall and proud, which is your basic human right. Are you undergoing counselling at the moment? If not, I think this would help you quite a lot. Also, I think you need to seek the assistance of a Reiki Master or similar, as this modality will help release those buried emotional scars you've been carrying.
I am also picking up that you have been suffering dizziness and a feeling of being off-kilter lately. That is pretty normal for these changing times. See your doctor if you're worried, but I think you'll find it is merely global anxiety (my name for it) you're suffering, and it will eventually pass.
You've been tirelessly working on many personal issues over the last three years I feel. Longer even. But the last three have been intense for you, and now you want to simply lie down and forget it all. You can rest now, even though you have many things taking up your daylight hours, however, Spirit will provide you with the time to rest and you must listen to your body and do so
All will be well for you. Releasing past guilt, shame and all those things you didn't deserve will free you. But most of all, you need to forgive yourself as somewhere, you got blamed big time and believed that you deserved that blame. You didn't.
View your self as you would someone else who has come to you for a shoulder to cry on. Provide yourself with that shoulder. Forgive your self. Talk to your self as if you were another. I'll bet you cry buckets and it makes you feel so much lighter over time (you'll have to do this more than once).
I don't know if any of this has helped or makes any sense, but hopefully it has and it did
Let me know how this resonated with you!
dear Moon 50
Thanks so much for responding!
There have been dull pains here and there ,low vitality and general unease.The abuse was not physical, but I have a controlling father who caused me a lot of anxiety, a constant need tp prove myself and I did have low self esteem till a few years ago.I have learnt reiki but have been feeling rather low so havent been practicing it much. Seems like its time to resume it!Btw Reiki really helped me with my issues and you are bang on , when you say that I have been working on my issues in the last three years.Yes Im tired, but dont see much respite in the next three months:(
A lot of emotional issues have surfaced in the last few months, and I almost walked out of my marriage last month. I also have experienced betrayal in friendships. The physical symptoms might be linked to the emotional ones.
You are so right about not being able to walk tall because ive been dealing with heel pain (spur).Maybe thats the pain you sensed. And usually I love walking.I do cry buckets but have done this less often this year,now that I can see my own issues more clearly.
Do you think Im ever going to be in a fulfilling relationship? Its a dumb question because i now understand about manifestation and the importance of being whole but still sometimes one wonders.
I am also facing a lot of obstacles in sticking to my study plans.
Thanks a ton for reading for me and if you get anything elseIll be delighted:)
I wonder how you find time to help so many people here since you seem to have a busy schedule.Its very good of you.
Best wishes for your plans about the house
Love and Light
You are experiencing what a lot of us are lately: a feeling of being unsettled, scatty and unable to focus properly on any one thing for long. As I think I said in my last post, this is entirely normal for these coming changes and shifts in our consciousness.
Physical symptoms are usually generated by emotional causes; I'm a pretty big believer in Louise Hay's attitude on this.
A fulfilling relationship ... well, that depends on how much nurturing you need. And yes, it can be a case of how much do you nurture yourself? You are not alone in wondering about this, and while I know that we all look for that one, true love (me included), it needs to start from within ourselves.
Release the need to BE with someone in order to feel whole. I can't see you walking away from your marriage because I feel that there is a lot of commitment, love and respect in it. But try to see how valuable YOU are, and do things to make you feel good about yourself as much as possible.
Again, you are not alone in stopping practices that made you feel good. I, too, have lost the energy - for want of a better word - to do much outside of work lately. My body is still stiff and sore from my recent back troubles and it is annoying the cr*p out of me! All I want to do lately is buy flowers, pots and decorate the outside of my house with all that colour. But as to doing the amount of physical work I used to do here ... forget it! I've even been eating foods I hadn't eaten for some years, like white bread, potato with my meals, etc. Whether it's been the long cold winter we've experienced here in Australia, but comfort food seems to be the order of the day for me lately, along with a need to SIT and do very little. I'm just too tired for anymore it seems. I'm trying not to fight this as it can get on top of you and make you feel worse about yourself. Sometimes all these things are simply a sign of the times and a phase that will pass like all others do.
I feel you need to find a retreat somewhere. A place you can go for a few days to get massaged, pampered and healed. Definitely, you should return to your Reiki. I am feeling that I need to do the same myself really. It can only help!
Don't beat yourself up about being in a bit of a slump, because to repeat myself: you are not alone here. And remember this too: Spirit hates a vacuum, so where things feel empty, if you are open to whatever can come, Spirit will fill that space with new energy.
And so we wait ...
Let me know how you go! And my plans for the house are in the dream stage at the moment. I have no idea where things'll go even in regards to my living arrangements. But thanks for the wishes!
All that you said makes sense.Thanks and I feel incredibly lucky to have met so many nice people on this site including you,the Captain,Shuabby,Blmoon,Eltemoth and many others.
I have released the need to be someone long ago; and you are so right about the marriage. It is imperfect and troubled and yet at the moment I cant see myself leaving.Thanks for putting things in perspective.
I can send you Reiki if you need it.Just let me know. Its also the only time I meditate properly
And Boy wouldnt I love a retreat if I could get time off work;)
Heres to the House of Your dreams:)
btw the advice you gave me abt my marriage seems very similar to what Shuabby told me a month ago! I guess im becoming one of those querants who ask the same question...blame it on the times;)
It's okay to ask the same question more than once, here and there; it's a bit like getting a second opinion. However, too many readings can confuse and cloud the decision-making process for the querant (I love that word And sometimes we forget we've already asked a question, so don't worry about that. It IS the times I reckon! I am grateful I know where I am when I wake up in the morning and have no doubt about my name ... :))
Tell me, what marriage or relationship is perfect? The feeling I get is that you might expect way too much from yourself and also feel that you come up wanting. You have your father's influence to thank for that, and even though you may feel you've laid that ghost to rest - so to speak - the scars of a troubled upbringing can run very deep indeed. It's a case of changing your thinking from "oh what did I do that for?" to "I must be tired" or similar. Let's not put personal blame on our own shoulders when there's no need to!
Speaking of shoulders, I feel you're someone whose shoulders carry a whole lot of burdens, not only of your own, but others. Next time you feel you have to "save" someone, stop and think "I can lead this horse to water. It can choose to drink or not; I cannot make it do so". It is no healer's job to outright DO everything for an ailing or suffering person. Our job is to get the healing process started and get that poor person to see the way clear for them to heal themselves. Ultimately the healing process has to belong to the person being healed, otherwise they will not feel the pride in having achieved it.
It's okay for you to take some interest in another's problem/s, lend a shoulder where needed, but don't run around trying to FIX the problem for them.
As to time off for you to rest? Ask Spirit to provide that for you. Visualise yourself with some time to really relax and take a load off because gee, you are still overloaded with things that are not yours to tote around even though you may not be aware of it.
I hope this further helps you! I sense that you are a very giving, generous person who is not afraid of hard work. Spirit appreciates that, and wants to give you a period of rest if you'll only believe you deserve to have it.
All the best!
Gee thanks! All the nice things you said about me are true hee hee!
Thanks and I will ask Spirit to give me rest.
Yes Ive been looking after people who are sick.Still am doing that.How did you know that:)
Old habits die hard but I really have to put some of this burden down.
All the best
You rest up too and take care
Love to you sweetie. Your rest will come, because you deserve it