My Libra left me after 8yrs. -
I am a Taurus female, 27 yrs. old. I was in a relationship with and Libra for almost 8 years. We started having serious problems towards the end because he is very anti-marriage, and he doesn't want anymore children. (already has 2 with his ex) Eventually, I reached a point where I wanted children and marriage. In the beginning, I was fine with no kids or long term commitment, but i was also 19. I lashed out by hanging out with my girlfriends much more often. To the point of not spending much time at home.
Back in February, I decided to take a week of my paid vacation and visit my mother. I told him I needed time away from him and the stress that has been building. While I was traveling to see her, I called my Libra. He said " I think maybe we shouldn't have contact while your gone, when you get back, we'll sit down and discuss our future."
He wouldn't take my calls or text. After the 3rd day I stopped trying. The week went by quick and when I finally made it back to our home, he was gone. I mean GONE. Later I found out that he had moved out the day after I left.
I have never been so calm. My friends came over as soon as I called about what had happened. One friend described me as "Scary calm". I didn't cry, scream, laugh. Upon reflection I was so broken inside, but damned if I would show a hint of it to anybody.
The day after I got back he called me. He said I needed to change back to the woman he loves. He didn't love the "new" me. An eruption of rage poured out of me. I didn't understand.. I'm still me. I hadn't changed- just disconnected. Shortly after his tone soften, he wanted to get back together. I refused to reconcile our relationship. No matter what he said, my faith in him was betrayed.
Now it's been about 6 months later and he still wants to get back together. I finally started taking his calls again. He told me "I realize how stupid it was for me to walk out, I want you back. I want to get married and have kids with you. Please forgive me."
I don't like being single.. but I take care of myself and the full weight of the bills. It's hard but I can't back down from anything. I still love him. You don't stay with a man for 8 years without love. But I can't seem to get around the fact that he just, one day, left me without a word. I want to forgive and be with him again but I don't know how or if I should.
(Plus- I have stayed single this whole time.. he's had 3 short-lived relationships)
My immediate answer to this is NO! NO! NO! Keep on your path. You have done well, and if you go back to this man, you will have to compromise too much of yourself to make it work. He needs to reap what he sowed; well, he has been and has realised it resulted in the loss of you.
I know this would be extremely hard for you, but this cannot and isn't true love if there is an ultimatum involved, which he has held out to you: "I want the woman I loved back". You have grown without him; developed your own strength. Of course you don't want to be alone, but it is better to be YOURSELF alone, than be someone else with someone.
You can let him down gently and will.
This is your life and you must live it authentically instead of bowing to the needs of others.
Hope this helps!
I have to admit I'm in a bit of a funk. I'm social and flirty but I struggle with dating. There's been a few guys that I like who've asked me out... But I always find an excuse to back out of a date. A couple of my girlfriends have tried to set me up on dates... Oooooo, absolutely dread it! As I've mentioned before, don't really like being single... wish their was a way to get over my block. Truly believed for a while that the problem is I still love my ex. But I'm starting to doubt that's it. I think my problem is trust... and loyalty from a partner. I'm not looking for a casual boyfriend or a fling. The thought of that turns my stomach! I'm sure that doesn't make any sense... but I just want someone who is mine & not for just a night.
I don't have self-esteem issues.. if anything I'm overly confident which I know bugs some people but honeybadger don't care
I'm funny, got a good job, never half-ass anything, attractive, & very loyal... I feel like if I was a guy I wouldn't have this problem in finding more than a fair-weather lover
Don't lower your standards, unless you feel they might be a bit unrealistic. Remember always, we are all human, including these rather unaware men We are still dealing with the residue of men being the "rulers" so this current generation of men are battling with being incredibly attracted to someone like you, but also feeling inadequate around you and in some cases, trying to "conquer" you.
You will find that man, and he will be a MAN; not a snivelling little boy who can't cope with feminine strength.
Hang in there! Visualise the perfect relationship for you and believe it will be/is yours, and keep doing that. Then, one day, he'll be there
PS: This also can work: Instead of having a long-listed, cut and dried "criteria" for the perfect man, try asking for what I call "The Two C's" - Compatability and Chemistry. I reckon that just about covers it! Good luck!