Trying to get it together

  • Captain,

    I know I am very blessed and am thankful for my life, family, job and home. But it seems I can never truly get the whole picture to come together ? It always seems to me things are almost there but never quite come together for me. As if just a few small changes could completely change things , am I crazy for feeling this way? What am I doing wrong and how do I turn this around for myself.

    God bless,


  • LEO1968, a feeling of completeness does not come from anybody or anything outside ourselves - it must come from within. It is not the by-product of the perfect relationship or family or career etc. Thus if you wait for outer conditions to be perfect, you will never be content or feel complete. You will never gain enough approval from others to have permission to be your authentic self. At some point you must take the risk and pursue activities that are satisfying and meaningful to you, and become your own best partner and friend. By getting to know yourself through doing the things that bring you joy and increase your level of self-nurturing, you will feel strong, confident and supported. As you treat yourself more fairly rather than waiting for everyone else to do so, you will feel a sense of balance and justice. Only at this point can you establish a healthy relationship with others and share equally with them without feeling debilitated. Only when you are happy inside will outer things begin to make you as happy as you want to be.

    In other words, if you feel you are on shaky ground, build up your own foundations and answer your own needs once you are sure what they are. In the midst of raising a family, working with and helping others, and looking after your home, you may have lost your individual self and forgotten what makes YOU happy. Through needing someone to talk to and wanting not to be alone, you may have sacrificed your identity. So get out and have new experiences - travel, meet new people, study something, and challenge yourself in areas or subjects that you've never tried before. Rediscover what talents you have. Break rules. Recall the old dreams you used to have for your life. What were your personal ambitions? Forget other people for a change and think of yourself. Your path to satisfaction demands you go in search of yourself. Forget for a while that you need to fill the expectaions of others (who may need to stand on their own feet now). You may tell yourself that you have it all and should be content but, if you have lost 'yourself' beneath the roles of wife, mother, employee, etc, then you will always feel like there is a vital piece of you missing. Developing greater self-interest and self-awareness is not being selfish - start championing your own ambition and fulfillment instead of other people's causes. Regain your confidence in yourself and go out there and do the things you really want to do by yourself. No one can please all of the people all of the time, so just concentrate on yourself for a while, finding fulfillment in your own special and individual dreams.

  • WOW!! First of all thank you for the wonderful response , your thoughtfulness is truly inspiring. Many blessings to you! And also to me 🙂

  • Yes, blessings and happiness to you! You go, girl...

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