Moon50 - if you're here
You've done some really great readings for others and I was hoping I could get one on my situation.
There's a lot of upheaval in my job (not necessarily all bad). I was asked to take on an additional role but I said I'd only consider it if they would reassign part of my current work (am overloaded) and I wrote a lengthy email to voice my concerns. They backed off. Said I don't have to do the role for now. I suddenly feel anxious that my job itself is in jeopardy (that they will terminate my contract early) or that they intend to force me into the new role by hiring someone else to do my job.
To be honest, I don't like my job and I am actively searching for another job. But I don't want to be unemployed in the meantime or forced to do something I don't like. Can you tell me what you see of this situation? Why did they change their mind?
It's been a difficult year for me. It's always 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I must admit I'm growing through all of this but I just don't want to be sad or frustrated anymore.
Firstly, I don't think your employers realised how overloaded you were until you spelled it out. Often when an employee quietly works away with their rather large workload, uncomplaining, and still produces good results, they think they can add more. It's good you spoke out. I get the sense this company you work for has downsized quite a bit and this is why they're asking you to take on more work.
However, I don't feel that your job is in jeopardy because you spoke up. I feel they're re-thinking the extra work they suggested to you and figuring out how they can delegate it elsewhere. It could be though, that your contract might not be renewed when that time comes up, but your search for other employment should have proved fruitful by then.
Your situation with taking two steps forward, one back, is what most of us are going through at the moment, so you're not alone there. It's like we get a sense of what we are meant to be doing, but get pulled back into "reality" quick smart.
Your anxiety is understandable, but unfounded I think. They asked in the spirit of the old "can't be shot for asking" and you have politely declined. Fair enough!
Would the new role be such a bad option if they hire someone to do your old job? I honestly feel they're simply looking for options from within their existing employee-base, and now they are re-evaluating.
But keep looking for something else by all means, because I think this company is in some trouble and may downsize even more in the next six months, hence why I think your contract may not be renewed when that is due.
As can happen in times like this sometimes, you may have to take a job doing something you aren't all that keen on, but it will be temporary and lead you where you want to be.
I keep getting human resources - is that the field you're currently in, or where you'd like to be? I also get "life coach", so that might be something you could study towards ...
I don't know if any of this helps, but hope it does!
Oh wow - you are right! I am in HR right now I just don't know what I ought to be doing.
What's a life coach? I do well with people one on one (when I know the subject matter well). Else I'm very introverted and a loner. I love dance (discovered an ability for it late in life), and people have encouraged me to teach - but i'm just a beginner, and so injury prone that I don't know how to make teaching dance a reality. Here's where the 2 steps forward, 1 step back also comes in. I don't know why I feel such an affinity towards dance and music if I just would not be able to do something with it. It is very frustrating. Do you see any avenue for me to go into dance?
Your reply is definitely very helpful - just wanted you to know that
I just had to speak up. I think this is one of the lessons I'm learning. It is not always fruitful to speak up, but I just cannot go quietly anymore, if I feel that something is wrong.
You asked if taking on this new role is a bad idea... well I seem to think so, because the initiative is not well thought out. And i will end up tremendously frustrated trying to do the work. It's important to me to feel competent at what I do, and I'm only just getting there after 6 months at my current role. I'm not ready to give it up for a new role - unless I believe in it. And in this case, it really seems like a half-baked idea to me. They seem to do things this way here. They promise the moon but there's a lack of resources to provide the quality that is expected. Just do not agree with the way things are done here. The funny thing is that I really do want a change. I don't want to remain stagnant. But if the role is going to be as it is, then I really do worry that they may move me into this new role and have someone else take over what i do now.
My contract is up end of next year, but I'm actively searching though - not sitting around till the inevitable happens. But jobs are hard to find these days. And I hope you're right - that I would have found something better by the time my contract is up.
There is another situation I need your advice on. There was a brief relationship with someone last year. It was great and I thought he was really leading it into something serious. But when we got close and intimate, he pulled away. Besides a few instances where he and I reached out to each other, the relationship & friendship just disintegrated. I've been trying to move on and it's been very difficult because he's in my environment. I'm just coming to terms that though he's a nice guy mostly, he wasn't a good friend, or a gentleman in this case. It has been difficult for me to see that he is a jerk but now I do see that. I don't know what his circumtances are, but he could have talked with me, at least. He hid behind his distance and silence and he's really hurt me and I do feel betrayed. He left me feeling that everything was a lie, even though he seemed so into it. I don't know what went wrong - and we just never got the chance to talk it out.
I want to forgive him though and really move on, I don't just know how. It's two steps forward, 1 step back all the time. Some months I'll be totally ok, then I'll sink into despair and feel sad all over again. Very tiring. And I no longer know how to act around him, because i feel opposite feelings all the time.
My heart is still his, although I'm trying to allow that to evaporate. I long to meet someone else. There are a few acquaintances in my life that I kinda fancy and I get 'vibes' (I'm probably wrong) from them, but it feels a little like the Universe is teasing me (lol) because they (the guys) are unattainable. And probably not interested anyway.
When am I going to meet him - the one who's meant for me?
Well Danceur, a Life Coach is someone who - after study (and there are many courses for Life Coaching) - does work one on one with people to lead them towards their true purpose. There can be a spiritual/intuitive component to this also, which is something that can't be learned in the classic sense, but if it is there already, can be fostered and utilised effectively in a role like that. Google courses for Life Coach - you may find them coming up after a search for Holistic Counselling (which I've been looking into), but they are around and in some demand these days if my information is correct.
Again, a lot of us are now looking at moving away from working in organisations/companies where we don't have any faith left in those who run them. If you don't have faith and dedication to your leaders, then you won't have much of either in the job you do; it's a vicious cycle that we are not always aware of, but one that does affect how you perform in your own role to varying degrees, depending on the individual and how much they allow this to affect them.
Put simply: You are getting messages to move on and it may be that undertaking study in your area of interest, while you keep working in the job you're in for the time being, may get you that dream job eventually. But that is a decision you need to make and something I can't see or get - in other words, it is unwritten at this stage, if that makes any sense! The universe will give you pointers in the right direction, but not always give you the outcome because that outcome relies on the choice you make.
As to your relationship issue, I don't feel year heart is still his really, if you are longing to meet someone else This man is in it for the "game" so to speak. Once he gets the message that he's got you (or whoever) where he wants you, he backs off. He is a good time Charlie who wants no commitment and just wants fun, fun, fun, which is no problem so long as that agrees with who he's having "fun" with! Anything serious scares him off and commitment is something he's not ready for at this point in his life.
You are afraid of being alone and not become aware of your own power yet. That is not a failing of yours, but something a lot of us experience. This has been a lesson in you learning not to take personally the "failure" of a relationship you would've liked to take to another level; and also a way to prevent you being in a personal mess while you sort out your working life.
As to the dance issue, I feel that you need to consider something soft and gentle, like tai-chi or similar. YOu can teach; it is in you already. Something which gently and slowly prepares your body while strengthening it, will lead you towards what you really want to do in that area. I see you wanting to do dance of a more rhythmic nature, but you need to give your poor body a chance to adapt, hence the suggestion of tai-chi to start with, then maybe moving towards yoga and that will help prevent those injuries you feel prone to You need to learn to breathe properly too, which tai-chi and yoga will teach you.
I hope this helps!
I think you'd make an excellent life coach I'm learning so much from you already. If you're considering this as a career, you should definitely go for it.
As for me, I'm a little curious as to why you say I can teach. Why do you say that?
The guy I used to date said that too. He's a dancer and I was trying to teach him something. Maybe it's easier with dance cos you can show what you mean. On account that I'm such an introvert, I find it hard to teach others. I fumble with words and feel foolish. I always feel like teaching is calling. Some people are just adept at telling people what they want in as few words as possible. I on the other hand, am very long-winded (as you can probably tell). I do have daydreams that I'm a fun and great dance teacher though (hahaha!).
It makes a lot of sense to me what you're saying, that I have to slowly condition my body. I have been trying to strengthen myself through pilates. And yes, I'm learning to breathe also. Pilates is not always gentle though - because the strength is acquired and one can easily get hurt - so I try to stay within my limits. I'm progressing far too slow, but that's ok.
I have indeed been getting messages that I should move on. Although I try to do my work conscientiously, my heart is not in it anymore. I don't feel appreciated. Instead I feel frustrated. By contrast, I come alive when I'm in dance class. I don't feel good because I see and feel the disparity.
I don't know if it's necessarily that I'm afraid of being alone - or that I feel very lonely. I've been alone most of my life. And I enjoy having my own space and freedom - can't be around people too much. But I also long to share some of that space with with someone else. I have friends but none that I can really let in. I would really love to connect with one person whom I could really share with, good times and bad. My lover and friend, partner and companion. There's love to give, and no one to give it to. I'm fine alone - I do pretty well - but i feel incredibly isolated. And I can't help but think this is not how its supposed to be.
That sounds about right - good time Charlie (lol). Still, he was the one who steered it towards something more serious and regular. It wasn't me. He did most of the contacting and he let me in somewhat and allowed some vulnerability. So he led us there and scared himself off?
My heart IS his - it's just that I don't want it to be - because i see the futility. I love this man, but he broke my heart. And hasn't apologized for it. Probably doesn't understand he really hurt me. Or maybe he knows and doesn't care. I was in a mess for a long time. It's just that I am becoming stronger now. I do still go back and forth, and it frustrates me so much. I long to meet someone else - not because I don't love him - but because I have to believe there is someone else out there, a better man who is worthy of and ready for the love i want to give. Do you see this happening for me? Is he around the corner?
I do believe you're right - that I am not fully aware of my personal power. And i love the way you've explained it - that this has been a lesson in not taking this personally. I have not heard anyone explain this way - and it really makes sense to me Thank you.
Hmm, me a life coach? Well ... maybe!! But I am looking into holistic counselling or spiritual counselling at the moment as I feel that's where I'm being pulled towards really.
To repeat myself, I'll say again that this man seems to have got you where he wanted you, then steered clear. And you know, you will continue to love him for some time yet because really, he did teach you a lot and I think you did adore his fun-loving nature. One thing you can truly thank him for though, is that your time with him opened your heart which is a big positive.
It's funny isn't it, how those of us who have spent a lot of life alone (me included) do yearn to share with that one special person. I've been lucky in that I struck that one special person last year, although we're going through a bit of a weird patch at the moment which sometimes worries me. But even when married to my ex husband, I spent so much time alone (he was in the Navy), and spent the first year after I left him largely alone and enjoying every minute.
I think it's more that we look towards our elder years and worry that we'll be creaking around on our walking sticks all by ourselves. Even more ironic after having said that, is the fact that I feel in my gut that I'll see out my last days alone; that my partner will die before me and I'll be sitting on the verandah with the cats and the plants and probably take my last breath feeding or watering one of 'em!
There's quite a few in this world who ARE meant to be alone in order to allow their own personal growth; often for these people, being in a relationship restricts that too much, no matter how compatible the relationship is.
Y'know, Pilates was the word I was looking for but couldn't get it off the tip of my tongue! So glad you're already doing something like this. It will strengthen you and don't worry that you're progressing too slowly! This has to be done at a pace you're comfortable with, so keep going the way you are.
And if dance brings you alive, then that's what you need to do. And you CAN teach and WILL teach whent he time is right. Your previous dance partner was correct; you can do it, it's just that you're still a bit afraid of not putting over your information all that well. Now, if this makes you feel more encouraged to do it, how about those who are the quietest, most humble people, but put 'em up on stage, and they come alive? How many like that have we seen on X Factor, the Voice, etc? Sometimes, you can be the most insular and quiet little soul in other life situations, but given that spotlight, stage or activity that puts you in the zone, and yes, you come ALIVE. That's what it's about. So I'll repeat myself: YOU CAN TEACH AND WILL because you'll forget yourself when you're conducting your classes. Just wait and see if I'm not right!
Hope this helps a bit more!
Oh and yes, I do see a very compatible relationship coming up for you and it IS just round the corner. This man will have a warm nature and be someone who has spent some time either overseas or somewhere helping those less fortunate than himself. He'll be well-off too, but someone who shares that wealth; hence his humanitarian nature. I feel he'll be someone who paints or is very creative/artistic in some way and he'll totally LOVE your talent in dance and will encourage it fully; may even join in and learn from you Can't see what he looks like really, but am getting blue eyes, orangey coloured hair and could be Irish/Scottish with a very soft accent.
Adn if you tell me I've just described someone from your past I'll .... SHOOT myself!!! That is something that has happened to me in readings more than once, trust me! Ah well ...
Well yes, if you feel drawn towards holistic and spiritual counselling, then go for it! I just meant you have a talent for relating to people. It’s a real gift. You say things in just the right way, and it leads people to explore things from a different angle. So it’s sort of what a life coach does right – helping people to get to where they want to go in life.
I will definitely agree that this guy opened my heart. I’ve lost faith in relationships many times and I shut down. That’s part of the reason I’ve been alone so much. I tend to be alone for years in between relationships. I kinda went into that zone this time, but it seems I’m bouncing back faster and I want more than ever to find that special someone. But I am having a hard time with moving on – although I am moving forward.
You are right - I have learnt a lot from him. It hurts though – seeing him and remembering, and being treated like I don’t exist. I don’t understand why he did what he did – to me – knowing that we’d run into each other all the time as we are in the same social environment. I don’t fall for people easily and I did – with him. Although it’s still a work in progress – moving on - everything you’ve told me is helping me. Thank you so much for this.
Hmmm, I hope you’re watering the plants and not the cats! I love cats Maybe there is a latent fear in those of us who have found their significant other that they will be alone in the end. All I can say is I hope you get through this weird patch and have much more great times with him. I’ve always felt that people are inherently social creatures who aren’t meant to be alone. Save for the special group who are meant to be alone. I have often wondered if I am one of them because relationships have not been forthcoming in my life. Also, there is this part of me that fiercely guards my independence and freedom. Is that weird? I want to be with someone, but I want to be able to be alone sometimes too. I think that’s part of what I loved about being with this guy – he and I love our own space, although we loved having fun and spending time together. I previously thought one can only have one or the other.
Hmmm, your description of this person I’m supposed to meet… it sounds an awful lot like my artist friend. She does paintings, sculptures and things, and has lived overseas extensively. Not sure of her family background but she’s totally supportive of my interest in dance as she’s equally into it. And wouldn’t you know it - she has orangey brown hair (which she recently dyed dark). Doesn’t have blue eyes but she has this warm nature and a soft accent. She’s part Scottish and has a lovely Irish lilt – I think she lived there for a while.
Is it her you picked up on? If it’s not her, then I really look forward to meeting this guy (I hope) – sounds like someone I’d get along with. I long to meet someone who will love that I love dance (and hopefully be a dancer himself), because there is so much of me in there that I cannot explain.
Thanks for your encouragement. Suddenly it feels like everything I’m doing (pilates, dance) is for a reason and it’s just taking a long time to manifest. Right now, It’s like I’m getting ready (body, mind and soul). Actually it’s not a dance partner – but good time Charlie (laughs) who told me I could teach dance. He teaches dance, but I never quite believed him, because I’m still a beginner and I don’t even know how to choreograph at this point. He sees the potential in me but he doesn't know all that I grapple with. Namely that I’m introverted and I have stage fright. And the injury prone body that has put limits on how fast and how much I can learn to do. I do love my body though, for putting up with me and the demands I'm putting on it. In return, I'm trying to go slow with pilates and respect the limits of what I can do at each point in time.
I would never compare myself to those wonderful people on X-Factor or So You think You Can Dance. But it’s true – I do come alive when I dance. I’m like a different person altogether. There’s a boldness that comes out. And I finally do understand how someone can say they’re shy but yet be fearless when they’re in their element. Maybe I will be able to overcome all the issues I face and teach someday and be good at it Gosh I really hope so.
You will. Picture it happening and happen it will
Oh and with regards to the orangey coloured hair person - well, didn't know that was a female energy! Ah dear ... Does she have a brother?? But that's what I get for you. Maybe you two might end up as housemates or something because I feel that the compatibility between you is right on the money and will yield some wonderful life experiences for both of you. And it could be that through her and her network of friends, you'll meet that special someone ...
Let's see what the future brings!
PS: Forgot to mention that being in a relationship does not have to mean living under the one roof, or being in each other's pockets all the time. There are many relationships that work well with each involved living in their own space most of the time because they value themselves and their space over and above pleasing others. That is no bad thing. So don't think you have to have a rel where you want to be with them 24/7 for it to be "the right one". You need to think of what sort of person you are and what your needs are, and the right relationship for you will happen the way it's mean to. Quite frankly, I don't like being in the face of who I'm with all the time, although lately I've been getting a bit needy (which scares me to death) and lo and behold, my partner starts pulling away ... go figure!
Yes she does have a brother but he's spoken for, kids and all. My friend is having some financial and accommodation difficulties at the moment and is a little depressed although she is generally a positive person - does that resonate with the energy you're picking up from this person?
If not and if you're picking up a male energy, then it really could be someone else. Personally I love the idea of meeting someone randomly and then you just get along. I have yet to meet someone with whom I feel very compatible. I think my friend and I get along because of our love for dance and that we're both pretty open-minded, and love having our own space (laughs). And she's very unassuming and easy-going. But we'll probably frustrate each other if we were in the same living space, as we are rather different. I do enjoy her friendship nonetheless.
One of my exes was a 24/7 kind of person and I learnt to adapt - but it wasn't me. There was too much demand on my time and little respect for my space and I will never want to be in such a relationship anymore. This is where I can relate to what you mentioned previously about spending a year largely alone and enjoying it. For I never felt so grateful for my own space until we weren't together anymore (after the long grieiving process, that is).
Moon50, I wanna thank you. You have given me a lot to think about and I'll be ok for now. Though I love writing to you, I can see that there are many others who need your insight, so I'll catch ya another time
PS: Hmmm, orangey-colored hair person... how I wish you are a guy and you are meant for me
I appreciate your thoughts and your kindness. Many who one reads for keep pushing and pushing until us poor psychics/intuitives just get fed up and go on to the next one!
I'm happy to keep chatting to you though, as you're not what I'd call a "psychic vampire" like some are on here, but if you're sure you'll be okay for now, well that's good news
Let me know though, if you happen to come across this orangey-haired person. It could be that this friend of yours who fits the description will be instrumental in you meeting him.
And you know, the right guy for you is ALWAYS meant for you ... it's just the timing that sucks sometimes and we all get a bit impatient!
Good luck; it's been a pleasure talking with you
Yes I'll be ok for now I'm always around, so I will catch ya every now and again.
I see some on the forums as my friends. Each one has different gifts and a different way of reaching out. Though I ask for insight, I also see it as chatting with friends. I'm able to share things I can't say to my 'offline' friends. Which is really important to me as I feel rather alone at this point in my life. Everything is bottled up. For instance, good time Charlie, almost no one knows I loved and lost him. Or how difficult it is to still be around him.
I'm loving my freedom and space, but still feeling alone. So this forum is kinda like my refuge - hope that doesn't come across pathetic. It helps tremendously to talk to people here. And I do go through needy phases. But I still try not to get too carried away and hog anyone's time because there are so many who need help. And those of you who help us need your space too.
Lots of uncertainty at this life stage, so I'll probably be writing to you soon (laughs). Yeah I guess what's meant for us IS meant for us. It's just really hard to wait. There's just so much waiting in my life. I will definitely let you know if I meet the orangey colored hair person. Hope you'll be around then and for some time, as I really enjoy our chats.
Take care Moon50
Thanks Danceur, and I will try to take care
We are all going through a rather unstable phase at the moment, with very few of us knowing where we're at or where we're going. It's hard sometimes to stick to that saying "let go and let God" as we are still clutching on to that ego-driven thing that supposedly helps us control our lives. But with that ego-driven control, we lose our ability to follow our intuition and soul-need, which can put us on a path that ends up rockier than it has to be.
But I think we are all learning that the ego has produced a materialistic world that we no longer want. What we DO want is something REAL, not something planned, packaged and presented to us as being "right". This is where we are heading: to a more SOUL-driven way of living rather than the ego, and and hence lies our biggest challenge; in letting go of that old, familiar way of living even though we know it hasn't fed our souls.
All of us are warriors in our own way. And so long as we are fighting the good fight, we'll win. So, CARPE DIEM (seize the day)!!
Good luck and take care yourself
Yes! Let Go and Let God... What we need to do - what is so hard to do.
Anyway, I say wanted to say Hey
Thanks for the beautiful pic and words! And it is so true: it's the one who keeps on getting up and trying who is the brave one. Never give up! We can and will do it ...
Was kinda wondering - you said N might be the first letter of my romantic soulmate's name. Might it be Nicholas? I take one of his classes.
There is also an acquaintance - P. Not sure if I mentioned him before.
I'm trying to make sense of the vibes I get from both.
Do you sense anything there? Hope it's not just me projecting what I feel (attraction).
Would be the first time there's more than 1 person that I'm checking out...LOL. And the 3rd one is the one I'm trying to move on from.. sigh. None have orange hair
Am sorry to hear what you're going through with R. Hugs and love to you. Take courage. Hope you can find some support on this forum, as I have.
Just wanted to tell you that you were sorta right about my job. You said they wouldn't renew, but they actually terminated it so that it will end on the 1st anniversary of what should have been a 2 year contract. I am not sure if they mean to hire someone else (in which case it means they just don't want me) or that the company is really not doing well and they have to cut corners. I'm thinking it's the former...
Am ok, but I feel very unappreciated. After all I went through with this place. Ah well it happens.
I'm now serving out notice and wondering what's on the horizon for me. One door closes, another one opens. The future just seems so wide open that I feel a little unsure what to do. I just don't know what kind of job I am headed for. Do you see any specific opportunities?
How are you doing these days? I hope you are well.