Hi Shuabby, I have a career question....

  • Hi Shuabby,

    I have been looking for a job lately. I know a guy. he wrote me a nice reference, and hopefully it will help. I am wondering about his attitude on helping me land a job at this point... i am hoping that he can actively work on getting me a job.. but am not sure how he feels about it.. What you think, Shuabby? Any insight would be appreciated. And shall I turn to my boyfriend for help on this? What would be his reaction? Thank you

  • HLL

    The man that gave you a nice reference , will help you in any way he can as he understands that you want and need a job. Turning to your boyfriend for help finding you a job? He will if he can, as long as he knows that you are really putting your best effort forward in looking for work yourself. What do you do as I feel you are not grounded into one single work environment?

    I do feel you will be entering a bld that has brick on the outside of it and walking up steps for an interview with a company that starts with a W in the next three weeks. Roger is a name coming into play here as someone you will be talking to in regards to a job. Besty is also a name coming into the reading for you to be on your toes with as she is a hard taskmaker of a boss.

    Let me know how you are doing.


  • Hi Shuabby

    Thanks for the quick response. I sure will keep you posted. As you wondered, I do finance/accounting related work... prey for the best. This job hunt process is killing me ;( Shuabby, I have another question. Do you see me get engaged sometime this year? What's my BF's attitude on getting married at this point? I know he wants to get married.. but am not sure how eager he is... Any insight? Thanks!

  • hll,

    Yes. He does want to get married and seems to be waiting on you to seal the deal so to speak. Sometimes we gals just can't set and wait for a man to pop the question we have to help him along. I would suggest that you do just that. Look your best, treat him well and if he is to slow to ask the question, than there is noting stopping you from doing so. I told my husband of twenty years now that it was time to get married and we did.


  • Hi Shuabby,

    Thanks again for the reading! Just to clarify - You said yes.. r u saying i will get engaged this year? or ru actually referring to his attitude on getting married? Thanks for the tips btw. I am okay to give him hints such as i can let him know that i wanna settle and have kids, etc.. which i think he knows.. okay, maybe he's still not sure how i really feels about it.. one thing im pretty sure is he knows that i wont be the one asking him to marry me... I even told him that last week. Loud and clear. I said I wanted it in a traditional way. You propose, and I say yes lol. So.. do you think that he's actually nervous about popping the question? And is he actually not sure if I want to marry him or not? I can't tell. Sometimes this guy hides his emotions or real intentions.. Any idea, Shuabby?

    Another thing really bothers me - he still hasnt formally introduced me to his family yet. I met his mom briefly once. That's it. I know he doesn't really get along with his family, and maybe that he's not introducing me to his family is for my own good. I don't know? What you think Shuabby? Why hasnt he done this yet? What's his concern? And is there anything about him or his family I should be aware of? Hope to hear from u again soon, Shuabby. Thanks for your help and your time. blessings! xx

  • hll,

    Not introducing you to his family is a bit of a red flag. That means that they disapprove of something that he does or has done in the past, and he has cut his ties with them. That just may be why he is quiet and will not pop the question with you. He is deep thinking now as to how his family life was and there feels like some abuse went on in the mother -father area to me. This places him on the edge of emotions as to how he would feel and be in a marriage and also having children and how they would be treated by his family.

    You need to start asking some questions in a caring way with him. You need to know why the family is not on his list and if he really wants a committment with anyone out of his own deep seated fears of how he was raised and what he would be like as a husband and father.

    Couple counsling would be my suggestion before marriage.


  • Thanks for the advice, Shuabby. Good point. I feel the same way. I also think it's a red flag! huge one in fact. I believe that if you do love someone, you want him/her to meet your parents/family.

    In the beginning, I thought this guy didnt love me enough, however judging from his actions, I know he loves me very much. no doubt. I then started to realize that there might be some issue from his childhood. And from his words occasionally, I can tell he isnt getting along with his family members. His dad is dead. His mom lives by herself. my bf and his mom seem to be in a loving caring relationship. I know he sees his mother once every week or so. He takes her out to have breakfast, things like that. But he never invited me to have breakfast with him and his mom.... which started to bother me a lot. I tried to communicate with him on it, but every time, he talked like I was overthinking, or its no big deal. So I gave up. We are doing good except for this problem.

    And as you said, they may disapprove of sth that he does or has done.. Maybe its becuz we are from different cultures, and his family may want him to find a girl with the same background. but as my bf said, he doesnt need to tell anyone who he's dating in order to get approval. he does what he wants.

    Shuabby, as I said, I met his mother once... just for a few minutes. That's it. I am wondering how she feels about me? And I really hope you can clarify the question below for me.. Is my bf actually not sure if I want to marry him or not? like he's not sure if I would say yes or not if he proposes...

    thanks Shuabby! You have been very helpful 😉

  • hll

    His mother has formed no opinion of you as she does not know you at this time,

    He loves you in his own way and your right he does not know if you would say yes if he would pop the question, I feel he will not ask you for awhile longer and if you really want a committment than you need to start looking into dating others and finding a man that is not so hidden and more open with his love for you.

  • Thanks for the reading, Shuabby. really helpful. Give me a lot to reflect.;) thank you!!!

  • Hi Shuabby,

    I applied for a job (Staff accountant) at Beverly Wilshire Hotel today.. It has a "W" as you previous mentioned.. Do you feel if I will get an interview or possibly a job offer with this hotel? very curious to know 😉 Thanks

  • And do you feel if I have any chance with any public accounting firms at this moment? those companies are my main targets....

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