Hey there Shuabby.



  • Hi again. How are you? Im hanging in there, just stressed out. My boyfriend and his friend are doing an over the road trip to florida through their local company. they are trying 2save $ so they can get down to south carolina for the over the road come him company they trying to get into. My boyfriend just called me,he in tennessee(his hometown). his adoptive parents want him to move back down there. and he wants me to come with him. of course i have to finish school first. Im not exactly thrilled by the idea, id rather stay here in ohio where my friends/family are, but i also want to be with my man. i only have one friend here and we arent that close or see each other much anyway but i have my mom/sister here. my sis hates me lol, but i still got my ma. and i just text him saying i would want him to be local if we were to move, i WILL NOT live in a state where i dont know anyone and have him over the road! anyway what do you think of all this? my guy mentioned moving a year ago,but it never happened. i know you said something about after a few months he will grow weary of being away from me and he may find employment at coke/pepsi company. im so curious about that, i didnt think he would be able to get hired at a nice company like that,cause he has a felony in his past.



  • vettech78

    You are asking the right person for advice in matters of moving into a state where you do not know anyone. I have done that three times in my long time marriage. Being alone makes you become stronger and you start to look at life in a diffrent way. I really feel that he would do well in his home state, you have to believe that your past does not always have to haunt you and stop you from achiving what God can turn around to your favor. Lots of women are married to men that are not emotionally available at all times to them.

    I would advise you to visit TN which I have been to and it is beautiful country and I know the people would embrace you and show you a warmth that you would be happy to learn how to accept and return with many friends to be made. I feel his parents would also come to love you if you will let go and step out in faith and believe you will be happy. You can reinvent your life when you leave the family and move somewhere else to start anew. The freewill choice is yours.

    Shuabby



  • I understand what you are saying. Its just i enjoy having my mom around, she always has been my best friend. we like to go out/ hang out together. I like to be able to see my mom at least once a week. if i do move out of state i know it will negatively effect my relations with my mom. our relationship is already strained right now,she feels as if i choose my boyfriend over her, and she said she will never forgive that. i have a 22yr old sis, and my mom said "jess would never have done me wrong like that, thats the difference between you two,she repsects her mom" I feel awful about all this, I just wish everything was cool between my family and my guy. its so heartbreaking. i want to be able to spend as much time with my ma while i still have her. anyway, who knows what will happen, i still have to finish school,etc.. so i suppose i should try to not even think about right now, causing undue stress.



  • vettech78

    I understand what you are saying about your Mother. You are emotionally attached to her and find it hard to change the relationship from being her child to being her adult friend. You could talk to her everyday and visit with her if you deceide to move to TN. Your mother knows how to lay a guilt trip on you saying that your sister would never do her wrong. You love your Mother and want to keep her affection as any daughter does, however your time will come to leave the nest and create your own and become a Mother too.

    Yes, stress is not good when you have to study and pass for a future.

    Somtimes we try to force a pathway to walk , when detours are set up in the path and we find that suddenly we are walking a completey different road , one that is mark with what is called THIS WAY TO YOUR DESTINY. Don't fight life, flow with it more and see what wonders it will bring.

    I know you will find happiness soon and please share it with us here as we care.

    Shuabby



  • thank-you so much. my mom is my best friend as well, i feel awful about things went down. everyone feels she is in the right. and perhaps she is. my boyfriend did develop a bad attitude towards my mom. he felt like she was favoring my sister, so he became cocky towards her. which was soo wrong. he says he doesnt have anything against her, but who knows. he was hating her when she kicked him and his buddy out of the house. my mom feels like i choose him over her, and cant believe i would stay with a man who was a jerk to my mom and sis. he tried sending my mom an aoplogy text message, but its too late, she hatese him forever now. she said she wont come to wedding if there is one,etc.. iv been ready to leave the nest, actually i did years ago when i moved in with a boyfriend i had at the time. lived with him for 3 years. i dont have any problems moving out from her,and she doesnt either. but its who im with that she has a problem with. i know i could visit my mom if i move out of state, but im not going to be able to visit her much,if at all. vet techs make a less then impressive salary, so ill be struggling and my car will never make on a long trip. i want to be a short drive away from my family and friends. and i want to be able to go out with my mom/friends whenever i want. my mom and i go out together like female friends do lol we even go dancing,clubs,etc..lol even if i wanted to move out of state, i will not live in another state with my guy if he is driving over the road. that would make for a lonely life for me. if my man isnt going to be around then i want to be around my mom, best friend Jen. Im sure other states are beautiful, wonderful places to live. but im just not interested in living anywhere else. ohio is my home, and surrounded by people i want in my life on a daily/weekly basis. im praying that he wont end up moving, cause I really dont want to go, but i dont want to lose him either. UGHH! just once in my life i would like to see things go my way. i know that sounds spoiled,vain, but iv had a rough adulthood so far and i know exactly what i want, but dont know how to go about getting it,or if its even possible. i want to live near everyone i love, i mean a 2 hour drive would be acceptable if i had to. i want to be a vet tech, i want to be with my man (Dan), and my biggest unrealistic fantasy would be for my family and Dan to reconcile, and i could spend time,go places with all of us, like we did when he was living me at my moms.anyway, i hope things get better in some way, my man has been gone for 6days now, taking a load 2florida. im so jealous of his best friend/roommate who is riding team with him. he gets to see the country with my man, while i sit here in this dinky apartment, with his friends girlfriend and one year old boy. dan and i have been together for about a year and a half now, but we havnt had much quality alone time, with his buddy being around all the time. and we havnt had any money to go anywhere or do anything. him being over the road makes me feel single, my life here while he is gone isnt much different than when i was single! and when it comes to our *sex life, its pretty nonexistant! he doesnt like to do it very often and when we do its over in a flash! so thats one aspect that probably wont effect me when he goes over the road, since i dont "get it" much when he is around! i love him with all my heart and soul, and i just want to be able to have a "normal" relationship with him. to be able to do things/go places together like most couples do and should do. I just pray for a miracle, cause i need one right about now, im tired and exhausted of going thru tough times, and waiting/praying for things to get better. i just want them better already!


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