Requesting shuabby for help
this is regarding my relationship with my current partner . we share a very difficult past and it's recently that we thought of letting all that happened between us go so as to make a new start. we are good at the moment but there are pprehensions ,especially from my side. i am not sure what he thinks and wants from me. i have no clue what is going on in his mind regarding me. also i have a feeling that something is still out there that we have to go through before we really start a new journey together. this is not the end of miseries as yet. there is something more that will put us through a state of pain and confusion again. oh i am so interested in taking this relationship to another level but all these confusions and apprehensions in my mind don't let me move ahead. i keep losing faith and courage to put efforts . also i am dealing with working on my inner self at the same time as a new transformation has dawned upon me that has given me a brand new thinking and the way i want to see myself in future. this is something that i have been focussed on a great deal for some time. i am sidelining the importance of this relationship against my own inner and outer growth ? although things are peaceful i am worried what exactly is it that lies ahead of me that could shake things up again for me and put me on a pedestal and things might go wrong again . is it just in my mind or things are about to take a difficult turn again ? if yes , what will i be dealing with ? i would love to know if you could guide me. thank you so much for your time and guidance in advance .
You are not releaseing the past with this man and therefore are holding fear as to what if this happens . A new start is just that a new start with no reservations. Was he into drugs which would lead to abuse? If so , than of course you would not want to see him back slide. I feel he will try this time to make things as right as his mind and emotions will let him. You are in a good place now and working from your core in which you have been lead to do.
Peace is what I hear for you the need and want for it in your life.
Things can always go wrong even if we ourselves do not create them. You have to keep your faith in yourself and life itself to fullfill what you know is your distiny. Confusion stems from not being able to control what is brought upon you from outside influnance, also lack of faith.
Joyce Meyer a minister I watch from time to time on TV said: " Just when you think that you have sloved one problem and feel good about things. Look out because another problem will be coming around the bend of life. We have to be ready to face whatever comes with inner knowledge and faith. Release your fears to God and ask for his favor in your relationship. See how that makes you feel and watch for good things to happen.
hey shuabby thank you so much for this insight. i am trying to get past the hurts i incurred in the past and start a new beginning with him. infact i would say i am on that track with him already . he seems to be cautious though but accomodating . i feel something is holding him back from giving his 100% .is there something that is bugging him about me ? i want to know and work on it . he is not into drugs but he is generally a very short tempered person and that in addition to people stuffing his ears with lies against me and my family turned him to become violent and act in rage towards me. he used to be tremendously aggressive and abusive and that part scares me even now. when i am so ready to start a new life with him i am afraid i might have to go through the same again . also i am concerned about the fact that if he is holding something in his heart against me or my family that he never addresses it will sure come out in a bad way in future that will affect the health of this relationship that we are striving for. i trust him there is no doubt about that .but i also think about his feelings , if they are true or not ? and i am trying to release my past and it's true sometimes i fail miserably . the pain just come back in full force and engulfs me and i start wondering why am i alive ?
it also seems to me that i have stopped feeling ,for people ,things, situations, you name it ... i don't feel right / what is it ? i keep wondering where am i headed being in a state like this ? what lies in my future ? i feel lost ... !! could you please help me interpretting what is going on with me and if there is a better future for me with him going forward ?? better than how it was before ? i would really appreciate your time dear one !
thank you .
I feel that fear of someone not being able to love you and perhaps your family also not supporting you has brought you to the place of numbness(why am I alive). Emotional support is vital for a good relationship. I don't at this time feel he is holding any bad feelings against you. You will have to be open and honest with him this time, speak up for what you want in the relationship also, if he even shows the slightest sign of rage than leave, do not stay and do not go back. I am not feeling this happen if you get your head in the right place and he does to. It will take both of you to heal and than move forward in healthier ways.
Most people have a past , for some it is full of regrets, but the plus side of this is that you have learned some lessons from it all, now you want love and a stable life.
I feel a farm here, do you want to live on a farm? I see animals and you feeding them and you feel so at peace and in touch ( grounded) in this land you stand on. I will say that you will love your new life and I do not feel your family will be to much a part of it. You will create a new family with new friends and neighbors you meet. I feel you being alone on this land meaning you will do a lot of the care giving and I feel the man with you is very busy on a tracker and tending the land crops. This will be a good partnership for you as I see the light of God around it. Now if this man you are now with does not fit this picture I received for you than don't dispair because the man is coming that will lead you to this other way of life . I also feel two children with you a girl and a boy. You will learn so much through this experience of what is to come for you and you will be very happy.
Keep in touch with me , as I want to share in your new found happiness.
thank you so much shuabby for helping me out in terms of understanding this situation. i don't live on a farm but i do think about it at times. but i don't see myself living on a farm ever, because i have never believed that that is possible or even necessary . i don't know ! the man that you have described is not the one i am with currently . i have been told though that someone will come along the way and help me in some way. do you mean that this current relationship will end , as you don't see my current family around me, and i will start over again with different people at some other place in future ? i do have a girl and i love her dearly. i am also concerned for her . her future is also at stake along with mine. i have also been told that i will be dealing with some legal issue in future. all these point towards something that i am afraid of already. i don't want to sound paranoid , as i am not, but i do think about my future and want my current partner in it . we have already given it a good thought and are willing to put our past behind us so that we can create a new future for us together. then why do i feel that something is not right and it will reveal itself in coming future ?! nothing is wrong with him though. i do feel at times that he doesn't trust me 100% , but that is how he is ... he never trusts anyone easily. and now that we are starting off after going through a struggle of years of anguish and abuse i can understand that it could cause confusion and anxiety at times in terms of "what lies ahead in future?"
but i am concerned for what i have been sensing ... and also being told that a major challenge lies ahead of me to face before peace could enter my life. if its' okay with you could you please assist me in cracking this puzzle that has me worried for a long time ?! do you see separation between me and my current partner ? that could lead to legal issue as well ? or am i just trying to relate two very different together? if it's true , why would it happen ? i don't see any reason for it to happen ? is there something that i don't know of ? that he has been hiding from me? you have said that he doesn't hide anything at this point ... then what could lead to this change/challenge in my life ? i am sorry for coming upw ith so many queries ... all this information has driven me crazy enough to look for answers and see what i can still do to help myself and this relationship .... !! i don't feel right ...! i am sorry for seeming scattered in my mind :(((( i am just after figuring out where am i headed in this relationship and nothing else...believe me !!!!
Legal problems can stim from many different areas. If you are always going to be on alert in this relationship for abuse, than take steps to have a game plan ready so to speak. If you don't feel right it is because abuse hurts and it leaves scars that take time to heal.
Find a support group in your area and attend it while trying to rebuild your relationship with your partner, don't do all of the giving , giving , giving and become a doormat for him as that sometimes invite abuse from those that will take advantage of you.
He has his own agenda and I feel he stays closed a lot in his heart area, perhaps out of fear and I am not a doctor to go into his psychic deeply and study his mind. You should already know him well enough to make your own deceision there. I would suggest to you that you contact The Captain and have her do your birthday charts, I think you will find her information an excellent tool in making some deceisions for yourself.
hey shuabby,thank you so much for taking time to write this .i agree with you on this. i'll request captain to look into my chart for further information. thanks so much once again.