Help with Taurus man
I'm a scorpio woman and have been seeing taurus man for the past year. Things have been a bit up and down recently and we have agreed to be just friends. We are still close and I care about hin very much and accept that things are as they are. He however keeps going on about how he doesn't love me but thinks I am a fantastic friend and doesn't want to lose our friendship. He believes we will be in each other's lives for good. He still cooks for me, tells his friends how fantastic I am. Recently his mum was asking him how I was, he explained the situation and apparently she asked how do I really feel about thing? Now I am not sure if he's really the one asking? I admit I'm not big on opening up and I probably know lots more about him than he does me. To be honest, why should I bare my soul when he has told me he doesn't love me? I admit I have deep feelings for him but my pride keeps me from confessing this to him. I asked him how he would feel if I went out with someone else and he said he was fine with that and even went as far as saying he would vet any of my potential boyfriends to see if they were suitable for me!
As it happens I told him I was asked out on a date and that I was going. He seemed ok about it. On the night in question, he called me in the evening while I was out and asked me to call round at 11pm that same night. I told him I was out and couldn't do that. He said ok and hung up abruptly. He was in a bad mood all that day so his friends tell me. I called him the following day and we argued over what I don't really know!
The day after that I called him again and he was much calmer. He called round and he apologised for his behaviour. Not once did he mention my date, it was as though it never happened. As a friend I would have thought he would have asked me how it went considering he was all for me to get on with my life. I have not mentioned it either. What's going on? Does he care more than he is letting on or is he just not that interested and should I just move on? Would love some advice on this.
You are a strong willed woman and he is a man that wants to be the boss. That is why he is acting this way. He knows that you would have your sword drawn and stand on guard with him for your rights in the relationship. He just may be on the right path in wanting a friendship with you first, he has deeper feelings in which he is guarding.
You need to keep in mind that he may not be able to handle deep conversations as he sheilds himself and wants things his way . Do you want a love affair with a man that really would be a challange to understand for you? Move on is my advice and keep him at arms length, do not be available to him and keep your personal business just that.
Thanks Shuabby. I get so confused with him at times. Now he is saying he doesn't want me to be in any relationship with anyone else, questions me about where I've been etc. Yet he hasn't fully committed himself by saying we are in an exclusive relationship. I want to just walk away, yet I am so drawn to this man. My previous relationships had control issues and it feels like similar issues rearing it's ugly head again. I wish I knew why I am drawn to men who want to have control. Is there something wrong with me? Do you think there is any possibility that this could even work if we both tried harder?
No, I think you now understand that you are drawing men that want to control you. Now you will stop that pattern and seek another type of man. You feel a lust pull for the man you now want to walk away from and should.
We all develope patterns and have to become aware of them to change. You will now start wanting a diffrent type of man and attract them to you.
Was your father controling? Sometimes this is the answer to why or simply that you get tried of making all deceisions and want a man to carry some of the load , but of course not take your power away from you.
Thanks for your insight. I guess I do know what I need to do. You are right on both counts, my father was controlling and I am tired of carrying all the load and long for a man who can sometimes just say I'll take care of things once in a while. Right now I feel sad that yet again I've found myself in this sort of relationship and wonder if I'll ever meet Mr right. So tired of being alone or with the wrong man. I have spent one yr with this man after not having a relationship for almost 10 yrs throwing myself into work and looking after my sons. I felt ready for a new relationship and felt so sure this one would be right for me. Sorry, I'm feeling rather sorry for myself right now, but I know I will bounce back, I always do. Many thanks for your help.
Im a Taurus woman, and one of my first relationships was with a Scorpio man, ( so gender wise just the opposite of your scenario / situation) That said, I think you've been given some great advice and i dont in any way want to detract from that, but I had some thoughts based on your initial posting when I read it.
First of all what you have to understand about this combo are the things that are ALIKE. Both are extremely fixed signs, guarded, powerful, and well... pride runneth over. While Taureans arent "manipulative" persay... when it comes to our hearts (or pride) we will take poker face to new extremes. Especially if we feel we are in danger of being wounded - or to hide the fact we have been. To me, it seems thats whats up with this guy.
Whether you can both manage to lay your cards on the table and work it out or not... I cant say, but I do think thats the only way any type of relationship (even friendship) is possible.
He knows I wasn't planning on going anywhere, I give him his space, he gives me mine. I wonder if all this is because he isn't too sure how I really feel. I have never said that I love him. That would be like pulling teeth for me especially as he says he doesn't love me. It has kept me from being completely free with him, I am doing the same as him I guess, not saying how I truly feel. We talk at length about pretty much anything except about what really matters, I have been willing to try, but it feels like it's a one way street. I am prepared to try again to talk things through with him and see what happens from there. I would be interested to hear what happened in your relationship with scorpio man.
what happened in my case really had as much to do with being young and dumb as any personailty / character traits. So we'll skip that story lol But...
As a Taurus I can tell you this - I dont have much problem communicating my thoughts or opinions on any subject. I do however, have issues putting words to feelings. I think its basically for 2 reasons - 1. putting my feelings out there on a verbal level makes me feel incredibly vulnerable, which i am REALLY not ok with. and 2. My verbal style tends to be "to the point" in general and is often taken as my being brash when its not my intent. thats fine on regular stuff. however, when it comes to feelings it keeps me from feeling like I have words that do justice to whats inside my heart. I really have to feel incredibly "safe" with a person to even attempt it. Instead i tend to show my feelings thru action.
I cant say for sure, but its my experience that (for whatever reason?) scorpios are as, if not more so, reluctant to speak the "stuff that matters" as well. so basically... its another one of the simularities between the two opposite signs.
like wise, I'm recently finding that a lot of the time though a scorpio and tuarean may be saying exactly the same thing... our way of saying it (approach) is so polar opposite that if you werent paying close attention you'd think it was complete disagreement. I actually find that intrigueing. lol But again, a little frustrating at times because it makes the other hard to understand w/out effort.
That said, yeah... i think its entirely possible your taurus is completely confused by you (and vice versa). its a tricky dance I think, but somebody has got to start laying cards down... maybe just not all at once.