Help with reading - Please!
Hello everyone. I just did a reading for myself but because I'm so emotionally involved I don't think I can trust my interpretation. It's a love reading (what a shock!) and I don't usually use tarot or astrology for this but I'm really suffering and lost and need an indication of what might be the best way to proceed. I have to admit that I'm in love with someone who I think likes me back too - in fact I know that he did till not long ago but I'm afraid he might be going off me - I've moved and now we live in different towns (not too far though). Nothing physical has happened yet, but we still talk and have been trying to arrange a meeting. I really feel like this would be a crucial relationship for me and I don't want to lose him. But he's incredibly reserved and I can't stand the waiting anymore. It seems like astrology and tarot are telling me to be patient but I have been for a while now, and want to start getting over this if it's not going anywhere.
The reading is as follows:
4 cards. Card 1 (one side of the situation), Card 2 (other side to the situation), Card 3 (the 'path'), Card 4 (synthesis of the situation).
1 - The Empress
2 - The High Priestess
3 - Wheel of Fortune
4 - The Star
I think I'm the Empress and he's the High Priestess. Overall I think it's telling me to either (to put it simply): stop dreaming about it and forget, or have more patience and it'll probably happen. Of course I'd like for the second one to be true but it might be wishful thinking. He IS worth waiting for without a doubt, but if he doesn't like me then I'm suffering for no reason and should start trying to move on.
Would really appreciate any insights, really suffering here. He's not only some love interest, he's one of the only truly great friends I have.
Thanks in advance!
Yes, he does feel that the distance between you (physically and emotionally) has grown too great to think of starting up a romantic relationship. He took it as a sign when you moved away. He was partially interested in you romantically but his main interest has always been with someone else who spurned him, but for whom he pines. He doesn't talk about her much.
Thank you for this!
what a slap in the face he's obsessed with someone else is she the high priestess he idealises? is he getting back with her?
I moved away but because I had no choice, very depressed about it! So is this a NO CHANCE reading? and is the wheel telling me things in my life are gonna get even worse?
sorry about all the questions, I'm very depressed and lost. Thanks for your response though, very grateful
BLMOON would you consider having a look at this as well if you have time?
Athenatarot--It's really up for grabs at this point. Like the wheel of fortune, fate can turn either way. Definately put your intentions out there. At this point, that's all you can do. I getting a strong inclination to let fate run it's course. Don't push, it's not for you to decide at this point. Your reading is also trying to tell you that you can't control everything.
Yes, I feel the High Priestess represents the other woman, someone he admires but can never reach.
The Wheel of Fortune is telling you that you have moved away from the past and what is finished to the future with some exciting new beginnings.
Thanks for your insights, TheCaptain.
A phase in my life has indeed just finished so that makes sense. There's nothing to look forward to or chances of happiness in the near future but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. Let the purgatory-waiting game begin.
Daliolite, thank you for the reading. I'm coming to terms with the fact there's nothing I can do but wait. Not for him because there's little hope of that but to whatever it is that's going to make life bearable again. I specially appreciate your comment that 'Your reading is also trying to tell you that you can't control everything.' I think my questioning itself is a reflection of my desperate attempts to gain some certainty and not be completely in the dark but it seems like this is a period of endurance and I can do nothing but wait. I'm struggling to find coping mechanisms, so coming to terms with lying down and letting the lions feed on what's left of my carcass.
If you expect nothing good from life, then that is what you will get. If you expect to attract love and happiness, then that is what you will get. Like attracts like - if you give off negativity, you will only draw bad experiences and people to you. Choose positivity instead. Wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere and nothing.
I see what you're saying and I knew it would be taken as self-pity but it's more like accepting that we have bad phases in our lives and sometimes there's nothing we can do. I thought the wheel of fortune was telling me my fate is out of my hands and the star was telling me to stop dreaming.
ALL my friends are far away from me, I've moved back in with my mother after years out, have been applying for jobs for weeks and only a have part time one for now. The pursuit of my passion in life (career) will be on halt for 2 years at least. My friends were like my family to me, I'm COMPLETELY alone. I'm not sure what to be optimistic about. I'm genuinely open to suggestions/advice? Cuz honestly I don't know what I should be doing! I'm working which fulfills mundane obligations but otherwise I don't know what to do to feel better/be optimistic.
Athenatarot, Sometimes the negative side of the star is that you're not in-sync w/reality. Actually, you didn't have any negative cards. The star paired with the high priestess, to me, is really asking to get in-tune w/yourself. What you want, makes you happy--spiritual enlightenment. You might want an 11-card reading like I do.
Nobody can turn your particular Wheel of Fortune, except you! Unlike many, you have somewhere to live, a job, and you can always make new friends if you want to. Count your blessings instead of what you don't have. Turn the wheel forwards, not back.
im your new follower. can u check for me 15/12/1981(F) compatibility with 18/01/1983 (M).we have been in relationship since 2000 but mostly its on an off on and off relation.we have decidec to get married nexyear..but his moody plus un predictable and controlling mode..sets me off.. should i go thru this??is there any future???i feel like stucked..and sometime i feel like he feels the same too..
Bingbangboom, I can certainly do that for you - just start your own personal thread so that Athenatarot's vibes don't get mixed with yours. Just click on the "Create a new topic" button at the top right of this page and I will answer you there.
DALIOLITE - that's why I'm confused by the star - I've been trying to stay think positive thoughts and stuff but it gets difficult when you have depression (it's a real condition, although sadly it's common for people to think you're 'feeling sorry for yourself'). I thought the star might be telling me to stop daydreaming because it's out of sync with reality which will make me more depressed because reality is pretty gloomy. I'm trying to control it because last time I had depression (dignosed, before I'm accused of just 'wallowing') I went down a pretty dark path and don't want to let that happen again. Like I said I'm completely alone here, hence looking for advice/clarification here. I might do a more detailed reading, thanks for the advice I've always been very found of the Celtic Cross, might do that later. Thanks!
TheCaptain, thanks for your reading and everything. Sorry to say but to be honest if people could just will themselves into being happy there would be no sorrow in the world would there. It's SO easy to say 'ha just be optimistic, you have a roof over your head'. Might as well make a general point of it to the whole forum 'well if you have a roof over your head and a job don't come here complaining about your depression'. I'm only saying this because you're being very patronising and dismissive, you don't know what I've gone through. And to say that someone can just go out there and make new friends if they want to is so wildly unrealistic I hardly can believe I've read this - real friends are not disposable, it's like saying 'go out there and find new family.'
But Athenatarot, your old friends must have been new to you once. Are you saying you feel too old or tired to meet new people and start a new life? Then indeed you have given up. I know it's not easy to turn negative behaviour and thinking into positivity, but what's the alternative - that you keep feeling like a victim with no choice in what happens to you? You need to take control of your life and make the necessary changes to your thinking. You have created the situation you are in and you can change it too. You are not realizing the inner power and strength you have.
The thing about the situation is that I'm tied down by money. It's not that I'm just being negative for no reason. It's maths - till I have enough money, I can't get out of it ie moving out of this house. It'll take a certain amount of time to make the money. Do you see what I mean? (Haven't figured out how to cope with living with a mother who smokes weed and fights with her husband every day, which is better than when she was still drinking - she's an alcoholic - but still puts a strain on everything. She lied to her husband saying she was sending me money when in fact she was using it to buy drugs. This week she borrowed £150 from me to buy more and I can't say no because she goes 'well you're ungrateful, you're living here'. She'll pay me back but I find the situation disgusting.
As for the friends, I have no environment in which to make them. Maybe I will, in a way which is completely mysterious to me now, and that'd be great but the 'old' ones are not disposable, their absence is deeply felt. I'm only repeating this because it's very painful to lose the people you love and maybe that wasn't clear before? Maybe the word 'friend' is taken lightly sometimes?
I think getting a job is all the control I can have over my life at the moment as living in this house means I have to abide by their rules (they're fine but that means my freedom and privacy is gone).
That's why I'm asking for advice like this - mainly as in which areas I can try to affect changes. I'm sick of people being ashamed of sharing their feelings for being embarrassed to reveal weaknesses and awkward situations - you'd think that the internet would be an ok place to do that!
And getting back to the 'love' issue - it's bothering me more than any of the above things, but because of them, I can't deal with it as there's nothing to help me cope with it, if that makes sense?
I don't know about this inner power but even if I have it, HOW on earth can I utilise it? Without money I cannot leave this place! I've taken the steps necessary to achieve that but now all I see I can do is work and wait. Do you understand what I mean now, by saying all I can do is wait and put up with my feelings of depression?
I think you have to get past the fact that deep down you are hoping and waiting for someone to come to your rescue and support you. You don't believe you can do it all on your own. All this is really about how much confidence you have in yourself and your abilities and the sort of person you attract. This lack of confidence may also be the cause of your depression and stopping you from being a bit more daring in your job search. Are you looking for something that you would really like and feel passionate about or just something to pay the bills? I feel you are much more capable and strong than you think. You just have to believe in yourself a little more. Are there any ways for instance you can be self-employed, as in selling something you make or working from home etc? You need to explore all your options which I don't feel you are seeing at the moment because of your depression.
It's true that I doubt whether I can put up with feeling like this for much longer without doing something drastic that I might regret. But I had these feelings for him way before I felt this way and was happy so they're real and are hurting a lot.
Interesting what you say about the work issue. Basically I've just finished a training course to teach english as a foreign language. I'm getting some cover work now and have a 1-1 student. It's better money than working in a shop but I don't have a lot of it, and I enjoy it when I'm in the classroom but it's really stressful and gets me down because it's so much pressure, it's really scary, I'm so young, just doesn't look right me being a teacher. I've had a surprisingly good start though - my students liked me a lot and didn't want me to go and said all this to the director of studies which apparently seldom happens. This was nice because I'm so passionate about education that I was shocked someone actually learned something from me. But that's it - it's ok for 3 hours but the stress of it all - I'm just starting - is surprisingly draining. Either way it's not fulfilling at all, it's for bills really.
I've applied to 'shop' jobs and pubs etc as well. Trying to sell loads of stuff on ebay (yep I'm desperate!) Put flyers up/on websites advertising private tutoring.
Normally I do see myself as a strong person, the people who know me say the same. Since I was little. I've been through a lot and firmly believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, excuse the cliche. I feel that maybe I'm just getting tired now. I pride myself in my independence but I'm not ashamed to admit that for the first time in my life I'm seriously faltering (well, second, but I was much younger then and the implications were much smaller).
The thing I feel passionate about is books and the arts in general. I'm having a few poems published for the first time in an anthology that comes out in September and writing is my passion but of course that doesn't bring in any money (which is cool! don't expect it to ever do), and this anthology is kind of a fluke so not much is gonna happen with the writing for few years I don't think (not being pessimistic, it's the reality of the industry! again, that's ok, I'm too young to expect to get published anyway though I've been doing ok and will keep writing).
But in order to get any job connected to literature (my ultimate goal is to teach/research at university) that I really need to do my MA which will take years because of the money. I feel so stupid now for not being able to share my passion with anyone (this poor excuse for a town has no literary events and shouldn't call their library a library).
The person I'm in love with has been really supportive when it comes to my writing (he is a writer too, and incredible at that) and we get each other when it came to this. Now it's not that I need him because he supports me, it's that he is someone I can share this with. We talk on the phone but we both work and can't spend hours in conversation. It's not the 'reason' I like him - but this is how things interweave and feel worse I think, everything is connected - me leaving university, my friends, the person I like, my passion, my work.
Anyways thanks for the work tip, I'll try and think of more stuff I could do. Do you have any more advice on that front? When we're too close to a situation sometimes we miss something obvious.
And thanks for keeping writing. I don't want keep talking to my friends - we keep in touch a little bit through phone, online etc - about all this because it'd be poor use of the little contact I get, it'd bring things down. So I have no one to talk to, this helps a lot...
And as for my 'love issue' - the wheel and the star are saying there's not much I could do - does that mean I should give up, or wait?