Hi blmoon how are you i wanted to see if you can give me a reading just in general.
I see a very lonely little girl trapped inside you. There has been a lot of pain. I see a little girl holding her ears--scrunching down small. Holding her breath. Going numb. You have many feelings bottled up and still in the dark. A lot of your relationships up until now have been reflecting parts of your hidden pain---bringing up old wounds and hurt. Betrayal is big in your life--yet you minimize it because it feels familiar and it has lost it's shock value. You undervalue yourself. Again I see a very small little girl who is really by birth--big and standing out--by nature boisteroise and center stage--someone who could dance or perform before a crowd. There is a long road back to her.I see you are at a crossroads right now--and at a tipping point but very afraid. When you were small the pain was too much and so you still fear ever being that vulnerable again. The sad thing is you keep attracting betrayal and detachment. You have been traumatized by people unable to change. People who cannot love--they feel it inside themselves but have no clue HOW love behaves. I feel a lot of emptiness a lot of grieving--as if you never feel love is yours for keeps---the love you only know is conditional and not something you can always feel--this is torture--the unpredictablity of it. You do not have enough true reference to even love yourself. You do not expect enough from love. Spirit says this is the time for selfishness and healing. To love yourself --a s if you are mothering a child. I see you have been gifted a female child who is here to help you--you have a destiny and she offers healing if you can learn through mothering her how to mother yourself. You tend to need a love outside you to feel alive--this is the fear part and the brave thing that will change your life and heal you towards true love is to let go and face life with your inner child. You need to let go of men--cold turkey. Do this and by the end of January a big shift will come and a man will enter your life and he will be different. Spend the next six months indulging your inner child and sharing joyful activities with a little girl. Do you have a daughter? As I feel this healing spirit is related to you and is perfect for helping you heal. Do not judge yourself--let emotions have their release--you have so much bottled up. Do not be worried you are losing it or being a bad adult--you must give your inner child a voice finally--it will not go on forever but just long enough to heal so you can let the pain out and feed the childlike spirit in you that missed so much joy a child deserves. You deserve to be loved. You ARE loved!!! BLESSINGS
Thank you Blmoon you are right i do have a lot bottle up that there are days i want explode but I hold it. I had kind of a rough childhood. I do have a daughter who I love more than anything. I try to do my best for her and not see me down as I know she feels everything.