What I want the most right now (shhh, its a secret though)



  • My sag and I fell in love. Meeting him my mind said "run!" But my heart wouldnt move. He was a drug dealer who had custody of his 4 yr. old son. The mom wasn't active or helpful at all. His house was pretty run down; ie, mice, bedbugs, no heat or tub running water, holes in the floor, ceiling and walls. His back door had no lock on it. 1 night the son and I were home alone and someone was tryng to break in. Heck they were in! I called my BF to tell him and he replied "sometimes druggies go back there to get high I can't help that!"Luckily my BF came home on time caught the guy and he was dealt with. My bf managed to buy properties and a business for himself but ended up this way due to his people pleaser personality. He has let people live rent free while they trashed the house, the business went under due to his employees stealing.1 building he owned was being renovated but the contractors skipped town with the money he paid upfront. People come by and call day and night asking for favors, money or for him to buy broke, useless items. He doesn't drink yet spends hundreds in the liquor store to keep his friends happy. No one ever does anything for him not even on holidays.He is a good dad. But there are no grandparents, aunties, uncles or cousins. The dad had no support for the kid. Until Me! He trusted no one but me to care for his son. But I warned him countless times to clean up his act or risk losing his son. The 3 of us bonded as a family. I also intermingled him with my family.

    Since we met there was a woman who called the house and cell phone often. I asked who she was and he replied "My boys ex always calling me for advice" Ok so 1 day I find old pics,cards and letters from "his boys ex" I ask again with pics in hand and he admitted it's HIS EX! OK I understand having a friendship however I am uncomfortable with her constant calling. I was at his house alot as per his request. I was unemployed and set to move in with him. Then my mom passed and I know I became difficult to deal with. That door without a lock; I kicked it during a heated argument. I didn't kick it off the hinges though, but wanted to so he'd buy a new 1 with a lock. We made up then a few days later the ex called 4 x on both phones. On the last call about 11pm I answered and he was livid. He called her back in front of me and apologized. I was crushed!. Not only that he wouldn't help me move nor allow me to stay with him. I was confused and deeply depressed. Less than 2 months of losing mom I was now homeless and heartbroken. This went on for 23 days. I went by his house he refused to answer. Call him and he hangs up. How could someone who claims to love you and proclaim "we are family" treat me like this? Then I became livid. I called CPS on him. Afterwards I felt terrible. I aologized every which way I could. Its been 6 nonths of N/C. I hear that he has stopped selling drugs out the house has a job and is starting to make repairs in the house. Some say I did the right thing. Just for the wrong reasons. I totally agree. He is a sag and I'm aqua. We got along fantastic. I am sure it will be hard for him to find someone like me and vice versa. We had something, a bond. Its just that I don't think he knew what real love was.. I still love him and think about him dailyand I know he does the same. I've had so many dreams about him. I know he feels so wronged and I know I was wrong but I was going through so much I couldn't think straight. Do sag men forgive?



  • That's what this relationship was - a dream, that turned into a nightmare. This guy was an 'anchor' who would drag you down in the end. You saw what he could be if he made the effort, but he was unable to do so. He is not strong or moral enough to be the right man for you. You deserve better, even if you don't think so. Instead of thinking of what appears to be a few good times, remember the bad times of which there seems to have been plenty, outweighing the good by far.

    He only thinks of you with mistrust and anger now, even hatred at times. Move on, it's over. There are better times awaiting you down the road, but you have to choose to walk away from this situation and toward them.


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