after living an alcholic abusive man (5-25-64) for over 26 years I left him for his friend 2-1-1962 .
yea i know that was a lousy move on my my part...
the friend and i had been having an affair for about 20 years.
this last year i moved in with the new man ...ja he's 51 ... thinking things would be great.
years of him telling me that we would have a long happy life together and that i would be so much more happy with him too...
Its been over a year of cleanin out his house his 3 kids left years worth of crap and his ex wifes stuff still here like he left it for her as she comes back into his life about once every 2-3 years to live with him tell him she loves him then runs out while he is gone to marry another man . she will divorce and come back soon again im sure ...she always does.
I do everything for this man , even babysit his grandson.
his whole family knows i am his gf but NO ONE ACKNOWEDGES it...me.
when his mother visits i have to sleep on the couch .
when I say i love you he doesnt answer....if i ask why he doesnt think im beautiful or pretty i got told i have supermodel potential.....what does that mean?
dont tell me to seek advice of my family as they are dead and I have no friends .
my problem is this... does this man really want me , love me?
why does he have no desire to marry me ? is he waiting on HER to come back?
does he even want me ...help I feel as if i have no security or future with this man unless i want to continue to be a live in companion until one of us dies or maybe his ex wife decides she wants him back
done with love as its never been there for me...........disgusted with life on every level 8-28-66
I did a reading for you, I pick up on feelings in my readings. I hope that you look at them and try to understand what choices you made so you can help yourself make better choices. So i try to help you help yourself by looking at what you are feeling.
your feeling you have no clue what your future holds and that someone is behind the scenes having influence
there's a guy with high energy but can not be the nicest towards you (i get a feeling like I didn't just deserve that)
your feeling un-progressive and dull
The best thing is you still have hope...(don't give up on yourself)
You just went thru a period of taking a breath after laboring
Towards your question there is a guy that is calm, but I get the feeling hes working a deal... to work in his favor
your not happy...
your feeling weak and alone
a feeling of disappointment
discontent and depression
and your sad
I'm not a therapist, I can only give you what I read and maybe two cents worth of my opinion. The question to me is not does he want me... It's what choice can I make to feel better, it needs to come from you. You need to be happy first with yourself. The best card to me is that you haven't lost hope, that means you can change and be happy. You just have to figure what that is, your sadness and depression came thru strongly. I feel sad; if you can't find your way out you may want to look for help.
So realize you need to find happiness,
hope that helps a little,
Sorry, I didnt mean to disturb this thread... I am wondering if Tarot-Nick can give me a reading? thanks
I pick up on feelings in my readings to help you see from a different perspective,
you feel like you had a setback
you recharged your batteries and are ready again
so your feeling happier ready for something new
one of your questions is you have this burden, it takes a lot of energy, but your pushing yourself to see if you can do it... just be strong.
recently you started something new... I don't think it's a job, felt more like a business... goes with the burden...
if this goes with the setback feeling, it's making you indecisive and you are going to worry about it
the just be strong above applies here too, you have a will and determination... plan and think things thru...
Your defiantly worried that its not going to work out.... stick with the hard work and planning.. plan for the positive
you have the ability to juggle two things, but its going to take a lot of energy for that
again the worrying about failure pops up
reading changes and a nice guy pops in the picture... not sure how he fits in its isolated... but I get a good feeling about him...
So I'm getting you started something new... it's taking a ton of energy and its not working like you thought it might; so that brings the worry. Keep fighting the good fight, plan things out and don't worry so much.... yes easy for me to say...hahahaha
hope that helps
Thanks for the reading! much appreciated! your right. im depressed. have been looking for a job for a long time.. no result. i donno what i should do at present. getting so frustrated. money is getting tight too. hate to ask money from my parents. have been dating this guy for half a yr now.. ups and downs. ugh. not sure how the future holds for us.. hes quite reserved. sometimes i just cant figure him out....
Hi Tarot -nick,
thank you for your time and trying to help me.
Yes IM so sad feeling so alone and feeling like I have no future nothing to look forward too.
I really just want to be something to someone anyone I guess. But I truley love this man but he leaves me feeling like Im just a warm body til the one he really loves comes back to him.
So I will try to find a way to feel better . But where and how do I do this.
Forget therapy i am disabled and have no real income . cant take on any more debt .
i am barely making my few medical bills and am losing the house I lived in for over 35 years. My son lives there now and wll go to a group home when the foreclosure is done.... Ja does not want him here.
I think I tried to go from one horrible situation to another I thought would be better but life in limbo with no real respect or love leaves me feeling lifeless.
I know I am depressed and have given up on life but honestly I dont know what to do next
Thank you again, so very much for reading for me.
Well start with this... a mental HUG....
now that I made you smile, its starts from there....
A positive out look, I already know there is hope;
They say the first step is to realize you have a problem... being depressed, with everything you are going thru... you have to chip away at the mountain... the first rock removed was the hug... look at your choices you have made and what you want to happen... once you have that goal... take another rock and throw it away... it will be that much lighter. There will be time that a rock slide will happen and all your work seems wasted.... you stand right back up and throw the next rock....
trick is keep planning keep working... the sweat you build up will be equity to your goal.