Hi there all,
I have an issue with my family which started way back in 2004. Briefly, my foster son was not fully welcomed by my mother, father and sister, and to that end my sister refused to invite him to my nephew's 21st in April of 2005. As a result, I refused to go either and as my father and mother seemed to support my sister, I didn't speak to any of my family for some time. I held out the olive branch a couple of years ago, but recently a status I put on Facebook was misinterpreted by my mother and father (passed on to them I presume by my nephew) and now I find that I want to give up, and no longer wish to be in contact with them at all anymore, yet worry how I might feel when one or both of them dies.
If anyone has any insight at all on this situation; like will we ever reconcile properly or will they always see me as the bad guy? Also, I get the sense that someone is continually stirring the pot and as I live a fair distance from Mum and Dad, I am in a very weak position to defend myself.
Thanks in advance for any insights y'all may have
Your mother and father are waiting for you to apologize yet you did nothing wrong. They are very rigid and inflexible about this. They disliked your foster son and will not admit they are prejudiced. This is why you are all at a stalemate - they will never accept your son and your choices. You should make it clear that they must accept both of you or the breach in the family will be permanent. It is not up to you to mend fences since they were the ones at fault. If they cannot admit their mistakes, they will have to bear the consequences and karma of having a split family. Make sure they know how serious this all is. They seem to think you will come around if you are ignored enough.
Phew! I do believe you have answered this question for me, and then some. I've wondered if I was at fault anywhere in this whole thing, and did apologise for my part in it, but refused to take the full responsibility and told them that. Sadly, they keep making me the fall guy and I'm at a point where I don't want to bother with their petty carry on and small mindedness. My sister is the worst out of all of them for these things, and expressed her extreme jealousy about my son which caused the argument in the first place.
Anyway, won't rave on about the history of this, but will take the time to thank you very much for your time and extremely clear answer/s to this dilemma.
Blessings to you Captain!