Shuabby, need your insight please



  • Dear Shuabby,

    You gave me wonderful reading before. May I ask for another one please? I broke up with my ex in May and we got back together last month. Things are okay, but as you said, he of course wants things/this relationship on his terms.. Well, I kinda accept it. But I do have some confusion... May you can help me answer them.. Why hasnt he introduced me to his family yet? What's his concern on this issue? And why is he so reserved? I tried to talk to him on this issue hoping he could be more opening up.. But he responded with " you are overthinking"? Hello? doesnt make sense to me... Any insight on our relationship would be appreciated! Thanks a lot! hope your having a great weekend so far. xx



  • Hi hll

    Shuabby I am not, but saw this and decided to answer your call, so to speak. Hope I can help!

    Firstly, I feel that this man is one of those who wanders around with his head in the clouds a bit. He is like an intrepid traveller; one who can't keep still and often forgets to let those around him know where he's going and how long he'll be! I don't get that he's overly stable in relationships either; in other words, the break-up you experienced with him recently may be something that'll happen more than once. He hasn't introduced you to his family because he just hasn't thought it necessary. He isn't overly concerned about it, doesn't get on with them all that well and simply can't understand why you'd want to bother, as your path will cross with theirs eventually. I get that you won't like them much, and that they'll be a little bit reserved towards you. I also am receiving some sort of obsessive/compulsive behaviour ... in his family? Not sure, but this could also be partly why he hasn't introduced you yet.

    I see quite a few stumbling blocks in this relationship, but also see that you and he have quite a great time together and get on like houses on fire. He is right though: you DO overthink quite a lot and need to relax and go with things - not everything can be planned to the last detail. He is part of your life in order to teach you to sometimes follow along where life leads you.

    He is "reserved" because he loves to disappear into himself sometimes. An open book he really isn't, but I get that he's largely a happy soul and needs no-one to direct him or make demands on him. This may be endearing to start with, but could get a bit tiresome for yourself over time. We all want to be in a relationship with someone we can rely on to a fair degree!

    So in a nutshell; he is a bit of a loner, but does enjoy being with you. It is up to you as to whether or not you can tolerate his (sort of) disappearing acts, and his seeming reluctance to bring you into his family. In truth, the sense I get of his family is that you're better of not having much to do with them.

    I don't know if this helps!

    Cheers

    Moon50



  • Dear Moon50,

    Thanks sooo much for doing a reading for me!!! very detailed and inspiring! Spot on! I pretty much agree everything you had to say. It's funny that you call him an intrepid traveler, as his job does require him to travel a lot, and his company name has this "intrepid"! I also feel that he isn't really getting along with his family for some reason.. I dont know the details, but I kinda can sense it from our conversation. Well, of course, I dont think he wants to share too much about this with me.. Just like you said, maybe thats why he is reluctant to introduce me to his family. OKAY, i decide to drop this concern..

    the break-up happened more than once... last time, we were apart for a month and a half. we recently got back together. I told myself I wont bring it up until I really mean it, until I really want nothing to do with this guy... I asked him why hes so reserved. his latest version is he is not that kind of guy who likes to say i love you everyday... your right - hes not an open book, and he doesnt like to be told what to do.. And just like u said, one of the reasons that i choose to be with him is i know he can teach me something in life, especially giving me good career advice as he's quite successful himself.

    Anyway, Moon50, your reading is very helpful! I appreciate your time and your effort. If you dont mind, I would like to know how he really feels about me? do you see if he really loves me a lot altho he doesnt express his feeling often to me? What do you see in our future at this point? Last but not the least, will he propose sometime soon? he's been talking abt marriage for quite a few times.. just curious... I hope I can hear frm you soon! Thanks again for your help! blessings!



  • No worries hll,

    Well, love ... hmm. This is another area he's a bit non-commital with. As far as he's concerned, if he's with someone, he loves them and doesn't need to tell them AND they should know without him telling them! I also feel that marriage to him is not hugely necessary to prove love, but it may be in order to SHARE space. In other words, he has a rather clinical attitude towards marriage and is one of those who considers it an institution, rather than a joining of hearts.

    As an aside; does he do something amusing or novel with his eyebrows?? I just got this picture of him raising them in a certain way !?

    He wants your viewpoint on marriage at this point I think, not necessarily your acceptance. Talk to him about what you think marriage means. Don't stress if marriage doesn't happen with him; it won't be because he doesn't want to be with you, but rather because he won't want to bother with something that isn't needed, as such. I think this relationship will be more a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". However, if you both decide you want to live together, then I think you'll find he'll suggest marriage because he believes that's the right thing to do.

    He truly comes across as one heck of a Heinz 57 variety in personality! Not easy to keep track of or understand. But you can.

    He does love you, by the way. And he relies on you, more than he admits; like you're his rock.

    Will he propose? Well, probably, but it may not come across as a proposal in the classic sense 🙂 He may simply say something like, "I'm tired of coming home to my place, then coming here to see you" or similar.

    Boy, you've got one heck of a challenge on your hands here, though I think it's one worth tackling on your part!

    Good luck! Hope this further helped 🙂

    Cheers

    Moon50



  • Hi Moon50 again!!!!

    Didnt expect to hear from you so fast - so yah, you made my night. Thank you ;))))

    Your readings have been so accurate! hooray! crazy! I was arguing with him on the phone that I always feel like I'm excluded from all his family activities... And I dont get to see him much on the weekends. and his "reserved" issue. He asked me if I wanted to move in with him. again... I had to repeat myself.. again.. saying I am not considering it until you propose. I am not that cheap, and moving in without a ring is not how I want to be treated. And he knows that.. I totally agree with u that in any case he proposes, it wont be a classic one.. I cant picture him kneeing down with a ring in his hand... That's just not him! I almost feel like he's too proud to do that!

    Thanks for the sweet words. i do hope thats how he really sees me.. that I am his rock.. And of course, he's my man, and he has my back. But I think he has admit that Im quite a challenging to him too. 😉 well, we make a "good" match.ha. Anyway, thanks for the reading. Your readings actually calm me down. more peace at present. How amazing! Thanks soooo much for that, Moon50!

    If you still have time, can u please take a look at my career? I have been looking for a job since I graduated for a long time.. Not sure when I can find one? What you see? I have a friend who has been helping me out finding a job.. He's a lot of connections with large firms in this field. I am not sure if I should still rely on him? What you think? Thank you 😉



  • bump. hope i can hear from you again, Moon50 😉 thank you!



  • Hll,

    Sorry to be so late! Have had some "connection" issues with some sites on the computer, Tarot being one.

    I get the feeling your man has already hinted at marriage just recently? Is that right??

    As to your career: Are you involved in real estate or something to do with houses?

    No, don't rely on this friend of yours, as such. It's not that he's unreliable, but more that you will find something on your own. He will come up with something, but I don't know if it will be all that stable a situation. I see you self-contracting actually, rather than being employed in the classic sense ... like a freelancer. I feel you need to run your own show, rather than be controlled by "the man" in a manner of speaking.

    You may also take a position which won't quite suit you, but through doing this, you will then move into another situation which will lead you to where you're supposed to be, if that makes sense!!

    I also see a large sum of money coming your way, either through a win or inheritance. Is there something you're aware of that may be in the pipeline? A legal matter, or ... ? Not sure, but you are due a fair amount of $$ at some point in the future. The colour red comes up here too.

    Now something about your car (or someone close to you): get the brakes checked. There is a slight leak somewhere in the braking system, and if not dealt with soon, it could cause you a rather frightening experience. I am seeing the colour blue here.

    I sure hope this makes some sense and helps you!

    Cheers

    Moon50



  • Hi Dear Moon50,

    What a nice reading from you! Yah! Thanks! Here is my feedback -

    As for the marriage, no... why would you say that? is he working on it now or naybe sometime soon? In fact, I havent spoken to him for a week. Had a big fight. same issue. Not sure how he feels about me or what he's up to..? any idea?

    I do accounting. Nothing to do with real estate.. altho I am quite interested in entering that field. Hmm do you see if I will be working for a real estate company or so? the reason I asked about this friend was becuz he had a better chance landing me a job from a big firm... It's not like I wanna rely on him 100%, I just wanted to get a good job as start if that makes sense to you... What's his attitude on helping me out at this point? We dont talk much. Well, but as you said, I am also working on my own. And yes, I am doing some side project to bring in some income. Not much, but better than nothing,..

    No win, no inheritance, no legal issue, but its nice to know some money is coming my way! much needed. finger crossed 😉 And I do have student loan that I pay every month. so I think the red color you mentioned made sense to me... As for the last time, SCRAZY! thanks for the heads-up. I will defnitely get the car brakes checked!

    Moon50, Thanks for doing this reading for you! I hope you can answer the questions I mentioned!! Thank you! and bright bright blessings to you. xx



  • And just curious to know... you have to answer if you cant "see or feel"

    Will I eventually get married with my current bf? long term?



  • Dear Moon50,

    I hope your doing well. you did wonderful readings for me last month or so. They were quite insightful.. I am wondering if u can give me an update reading? I havent spoken to my bf for a few days. just as you said, the break-up thing between us would happen more than once. Not sure what he's thinking? Any idea? Do you see if we talk again sometime soon? As for the job hunt, I have been really putting effort into it.. Do you see if I can get an interview sometime soon too? Hope to hear from u soon! Thank you!



  • Hll,

    I keep trying to get something on this, but can't seem to come up with anything other than he's gone into his shell and won't come out until he's good and ready. I do feel however, that you have a choice here, and that is whether or not you can keep tolerating his constant disappearances. I still feel he's hinted at marriage in his roundabout way and your response rebuffed him a bit, but that was because he doesn't make himself clear!

    As to the job situation, not for a while I'm sorry to say. There will be a "bite" but it could take a while before you see anything fruitful from it. I am also sensing that you're looking in the wrong places and/or the timing is wrong ... does any of that make sense to you? I'm getting an image of the "dog barking up the wrong tree" here. That friend of yours who was helping you ... I'm also getting that he's gone underground too.

    But you know, often when we don't hear anything, or nothing seems to be happening, and we get into a state of despair about it, that's when something'll come up.

    Whatever job you do get, I feel there will be travel involved in it and not necessarily commuting.

    I hope that helps and sorry for being slow responding!

    Cheers

    Moon50



  • what a surprise reading from you Moon! Thanks so much! I didnt expect to hear from you at all 😉 i thought u were probably feeling annoyed by my stupid questions or so... or maybe your angel/god didnt want u to talk to me at the moment.. hehe. anyway, you made my day! yah!

    i think your right about him that he did re-hint the proposal thing last week, and I didnt really answer the question... yes, he didnt make him clear. Do you feel if we have good potential? I don't know. I start feeling like I wanna give up on this relationship... Ugh. If you cant "feel" anything on this, thats fine 😉 He was so cold last time we talked, and apparently he was very mad at me.. So maybe he's thinking about giving up on me too.

    As for the job hunt, i am not sure where else I can turn to for help. Bascially I just look for openings online and submit my resume if I feel it fits me. I am not being picky here. I try to apply as many as possible, and hope for the best... And I think your right about this friend.. If I think he was being genuine, I wouldnt have to ask you about him. The truth is I also feel that I dont have his best interest. Anyway, I dont think I will contact me again asking for job help...

    I think that the possible new job will be involved with travelling makes sense.. I am not surprised. Just wish I can get it soon ;( ... Moon, may I ask a couple more about the job hunt? I understand I will have to wait a bit longer to "see" a job, do you feel when it will be possible? Again, I don't mind if you cant come up with anything new. i can wait! No rush! And thanks for the reading!! Happy Tuesday, Moon!



  • Well, funny enough, I think I may have mentioned this to you before, but I am constantly getting an image of you in the uniform of an air hostess. Now that doesn't mean you will BECOME an air hostess, but might end up doing a job where you wear a similar uniform. But I do see you going up and down aisles, smiling sweetly and doing a very professional job and enjoying every minute. It could be with a bus company which does interstate trips or similar.

    I don't get that you will be happy sitting in the one spot; rather you need variety and movement. Also, in your job hunt - and this might be where I'm getting you "barking up the wrong tree" - you are looking for things that "fit" you in a familiar, already-tried way I think. Have you looked outside the square a bit? Like, not necessarily look for things you're fully qualified or experienced in, but things that pique your interest, though you might say to yourself "I'm not qualified for that" or "I can't see myself doing that"? Often, the right job for us is one we hadn't thought of, so there's some other food for thought 🙂

    Ah this man is a conundrum! I'm going to nick-name him "Frustrating Fred", although I think he may be calling YOU Frustrating Freda under his breath hahaha. You two sometimes don't meet on the same level, but when you do, this pairing is almost magical I think!

    Again though, this will depend on your dedication to the relationship and how much you are willing to make compromises. You are both headstrong and BOTH need to meet each other halfway if this is going to work.

    I will point one thing out: he can't read your mind, as you can't read his. This means that you both need to work on communicating clearly to each other, rather than putting things in round-about ways that aren't always correctly received. Be direct; say what you mean. You both have the right to ask this of each other, as this is your main sticking point methinks.

    And to repeat myself, I do keep getting that image of you with a peaked cap and a smart uniform and a very, very big smile on your face!

    Good luck!

    Cheers

    Moon50



  • Just made dinner 😉 Hi again, Moon.

    I really liked what you had to say abt this potential job. Air hostess, hmm thats kinda impossible. my mother tongue is not english, and im not tall enough lol. My background is marketing/business consulting (but only intern, not a full time job). I did an accounting certificate in the last 2 yrs, and am hoping to get a job related to accounting, so I can sit for the CPA exam and once I pass all the exams, I can get my cpa license with enough working experience.. if that makes sense. I know doing accounting is not my best interest, but i think its a good start. However, at this point, I really need to get a job.. so I am willing to do business consulting which is not bad at all! I have applied a few.... As I dont have a strong professional background, all the jobs I have applied were entry level... do you feel if my job will be consulting related? if so, then travelling is definitely for sure... I understand what you were trying to say. I am also trying to see if I can apply for jobs in other fields or so.. but its hard. Anyway, i think your right - I really need to step up and think outside the box. maybe I will be amazed with what i can come up... well........

    As for my pain in the butt BF, haha i like the nickname of him and mine lol. i have been trying to communicate with him! but he never wanted to talk straight with me, or he would change the subject portending that theres nothing wrong. ugh. frustrated. Anyway, I think I shouldnt focus on too much energy on him.. not so rewarding. I need to get myself a job first! Dern! One last question about my Frustrated Fred! Does he still want to be with me? I ask this becuz last time when he called me, I didnt answer it. then he left me a voice mail saying "dont call me again!" Ah so tough...

    Anyway, thanks again for the reading, Moon 😉 Looking forward to hearing from u again!



  • Oh he's just being a silly billie; doing the old "well if you won't talk to me, then I don't want to talk to you" thing. He does want to be with you, but he has a little bit of a problem with wanting his cake and eat it too which can be so typical of the male ego: gotta have the last word and keep control of the situation.

    I can sense you are getting tired of his antics though, and this is where your decision will come into play. You really need to sit and think about what this man GIVES to the relationship over and above what he TAKES from it. Then think about how much you've given towards it, and been given in return, so to speak. Like are you the one devoting more emotional energy to the relationship than him? Does being with him constantly frustrate you and make you feel drained?

    See what you come up with. Remember: relationships are not always meant to be hard work. The give and take from the two partners would usually balance things and keep the love alive. If things are out of balance however, then that's where a rel gets to be more work than joy. It's all about compatibility and often, that dreaded word, compromise.

    Think of yourself here in making your choice. Don't worry about how hurt he'll be, etc. Focus on YOU and see what internal responses you get.

    Good luck yet again!

    Cheers

    Moon50



  • Hi Moon,

    I really enjoyed reading your dating advice, and relationship tips, Moon. I have never thought about the give and take theory until you pointed it out. Makes perfect sense. I personally believe that it takes two to make a relationship work. As you said earlier, when we r together, it is always a great time. i feel secure and treasured. The prob arises when I am not with him. I feel like I have to compete with his friends and work for his attention. Its not like he didnt give me enough - we just dont spend much time together. Very frustrating. I never had so many dating issues with one bf until I met him...He offered me to move in with him once I was yelling at him over the phone.. I said no. I am not considering moving in until you give me a ring... But he knows that since we started to date.

    Moon, the only thing i dont get and am confused is his action. I have no doubt that he loves me. He does.. But just like what u said, he always does this disappearance thing! that we dont talk for a few days or even a few weeks! Really? Is it how you treat the one you love in a relationship? I don't think so... I dont understand why he would do that?! I mean.. the only reasonable excuse I can come up with is he was waiting for me to initiate a talk which never happened unfortunately.. OR I am just too confident thinking that he loves me? which in fact he is actually not that into me? what you think, Moon? Another thing I really want to know is whether or not he's still emotionally cling to one of his ex gfs? like does he still love or have feelings for one of his ex that he finds it hard to let it go.. maybe thats why he acts so weird sometime.. your thought?

    i really feel stupid asking questions about him. I believe true love should be simple. Too much drama and headache is never a good sign.. Right? One thing I find funny and interesting is.. last time after this big fight, we were talking in bed trying to fall asleep. i asked why we always fight and then come back together.. he said, we are meant to be.. its our destiny. huh, interesting?! I was thinking.. was it what the famous fortune teller in Hong Kong told him? (He told me long time ago that he spoke to this fancy fortune teller in HK..but during that time he only told me that the teller told him that he will never get divorced and will have two kids - one boy and one girl)

    Ahhh Moon, I hope i didnt bore you with my stupid love story! And thanks so much for the readings, and dating advice. much much appreciated! Its very generous and nice of you to offer readings. I know it takes a lot of time and energy. Thank you! hope your having a good day so far! xx



  • That is no problem! Glad to have been of help 🙂


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