If anyone out there has time to do a finance reading?
My finances been going from bad to worse for a while. Although I've had some things happen to take large amounts of money from me, making it difficult to recover, I haven't been that great at managing my funds either. I'm just wondering if there is a light at the end of the tunnel? Currently looking for a higher paying job and considering taking on a weekend job. Also there is a possibility of a promotion. But I'm not sure where to channel my energy.
Also, I owe a substantial amount to my ex, which he was very flexible about when we broke up, however now I get demeaning and terrorising emails. But I just can't make it work at the moment.
If anyone has advice that they could give me. Will there be a solution? Where is it most likely to come from?
Thank you so much!
The solution has to come from inside you. You have to change your attitude and beliefs about money and about yourself. Lack of money in your life indicates either a fear/negative attitude to it - that it might bring too much responsibility or corruption or whatever - or that you feel you don't deserve it.
Imagine if you will that money took the form of a person who came knocking at the door of your home. How did you treat that person when he/she called? Did you welcome them in with open arms or peer cautiously and with fear at them through the peephole? Did you treat them as a necessary but not well liked visitor and were glad when they left quickly? Did you mistrust their motives for being with you and chase them away? What has been your past history and attitude with finances? Have you enjoyed having money or did it make you feel unclean, uncomfortable, stressed, or guilty? You must welcome having money in your life or it will not 'visit' you at all.
That is an excellent point. I think my attitude to money has come from my mother, who, although always wanted to, never had any money. When I was groing up, she'd always tend to 'celebrate' paydays by spending a lot of money and the second half of the month we'd be almost out and count pennies. She could never save up enough to buy a washing machine or a new fridge or TV set when it broke down.
As much as i hoped it would be different for me, I don't have a very good relationship with money either. But I really want to change that. I do think that my mom always felt she didn't deserve it. She generally feels that way about all good things in her life, sadly. She never had or could provide any sense of security or confidence for herself or, consequently me, since I grew up with her, without a father who would support us. I'm guessing I have probably inadvertently adapted a negative attitude towards money. I've also always lacked security in my life and often felt like 'a leaf in the wind' I was reacting to what was happening to me, rather than being in control - I have only begin to realise all this recently.
Also, I think I thought that other things, like friends, love and family are more important and am only realising now that, just because money doesn't have to come first, doesn't mean it should still be high on my list of priorities.
Hope this gives a bit more background. But I have to work hard to change these patterns and start thinking in a different way. Do you have any more suggestions, Captain?
At the same time I do think I enjoy having money . I like the things it can buy me and I think that could also be the reason why I never have enough of it. Because money has always been a tool for me, rather than a value on its own. I always want to exchange it for a dress or activity or travel. I want to do all those things but I'm missing out on the security that comes from having the money in my bank account because I sometimes exchange it for something else too readily. If it was a guest, it would be escorted back out the door just as soon as it came in. Just like mom did. I really really want to change that.
Yes we all inherit attitudes and beliefs from our parents and some of them can be very limiting. But recognizing our issues is the first and most important step on the road to healing. It gives us a place to start. Affirmations can reprogram the way we think. If you tell yourself whenever you can that "I love money/wealth and money/wealth loves me" or "I handle my finances with ease and only spend on what I really need - the rest I save" or something positive like that (never anything negative like "I don't like being poor") repeated daily can change your attitude in only one month.
Thanks Captain, I'll repeat the affirmations. And think of money as a guest I want to stay around for a while:)
Or even a permanent lodger who more than pays his way.