The Debate Room



  • Ok what do ya do when someone has effed you off litterary n immensely?

    I first leave as soon as i can, grunt mull moan rant in car on way home, get online n vent to my bff´s , then if i find it worth i post it here as a debate.

    Then i go relax rest n refind my inner calm space. with a load helpful this n that reversed stressed ............ desserts duh.

    what do you guys do?



  • Hopefuly when I'm most upset I'm also not low enery wise or tired---then any kind of anger I put to work. In fact in the early days when I did visit my psychic she alsways said I did my best work when angry! I would put it into a poem or mostly yard work. I even have a poem about that. My younger heart was really way too big, I held on a lot to lost causes even in the garden never wanting to let go of any lost causes! I have a very green thumb but one summer we had a drought followed by a deluge of weeks of endless rain. My rose bushes turned to sticks--which by the way I still had faith in. At my house I raised my sons to speak their minds as I grew up under very strict rules of children are seen but not to be heard. Well of course my yard of sticks became a joke of the smartS kind. Then one day someone I can't even remember broke my heart and I hit the yard and wiped out everything! My favourate last rose bush--a stick still had a thorn that stabbed me deep and purple for weeks when I yanked that suc ker and hurled it. That all became a poem which is published. My sons always knew when they saw mom out whacking in the yard that they better hide. Yardwork saved many people. Like you charming one I am intensly passionate--it feeds my artistic nature to FEEL deeply and create but it is also is a rather wild animal that needs a mighty leash and a strong collar! Thank God for the wisdom and strength of age. I always use anger for getting something done. My sons also joked about that--if one of my sons when in the srazy years 18-23 had me worked up I'd be redoing rooms and painting. Of course the other sons would taunt the offender and say look what you did--moms redoing the house again. I know my power. I eventually had to acknowledge that I am scary when angry and not like most folks--it goes both ways--the gift of healing energy has it's counter part so I know I must choose my battles as although the storm may pass for ME it can do some damage to the reciever! Also, I learned a very wise lesson about true battle with manipulators. That it is a battle tactic for some to get you to blow up and then they have a clear path to whatever they had in mind of getting from you. There are many forms of anger---and the kind that depletes you leaves you exhausted and weak is giving away power!. I tend to rant out loud alone--yes I'm one of those--it diffuses irritations as they come. As I'm working around the house I yell and cus at stuff that irritates me and I also laugh and talk bonkers. Like I said I'm passionate. I no longer have many folks in my life that truelly make me crazy. But yes there is always one the divine universe insists you must weather. If it's a stranger in public I use my gut psychic impressions--I may pass on reacting but I also a very outspoken if someone is asking for it or says something jerky--I adress it right there--no yelling in the car. I do use my car alone time to scream or cry at tims to tap something really intense that I know must not be spread on innocent others. YEP charming one there must be 50 ways to let off anger. I've thrown plenty of things in my younger days. Usually at my mate--who deserved it. I once had one of those folding closet doors that would pinch me sometimes if I didn't get my finger out of the way--it so hurt and would leave a big blood blister. I swore one day if it happened one more time I would rip it off it's hinges and send it to the moon. Of course sure enough I'm busy cleaning and my youngest was home and happened to walk into the living room as I was pinched and I yanked that F er with a mighty yell off it's hinges and threw it across the full length of the house. My son said well thank you for that memory my mother the amozon lady (smartS!) and for weeks I was called amozon woman by my laughing sons. NOW at my age I save my energy for productive stuff! Anger is energy--and no sense sitting on it either as anger eaten manifests as depression and also will come out inapropriatly some where--it also invites disease. Holding in anger will have you biting off someones head for something small. The only time anger is a bad thing for ME is if it comes when I'm exhausted or sick and just too low. That is about the only time I lose faith or feel fearful. I see that in many folks here who freak out but just are very tired. THEN I talk to somene or recite the "this too will pass" rule and know everything looks darker when your light is dim!!! ALSO, I always worked out to help my volcanoe stay put--dancing---running---keep the animal leashed!!!!



  • EFFING SITE. it deleted n swallowed my initial post, effing UGH!

    Ok ok ok typical site quirks.

    The main person who tends to eff me off is my darling mom. i say darling bc despite all im grateful for her sage words n aid. BUT what i do not like at all is her doubting what is wrong with my health, i try to write it off as her workillness as a nurse, still thinks she is the worlds best effing medical know it all . UGH thats effs me.

    i see it as my penance to really work on my patience n not let her eff get to me. At times it is hard bc as mom she knows what buttons to push. I swear she is not a happy person unless she has effed off on me n i have soaked her eff up. dont get me wrong i love her but the way she is is abusive toward me. My cross of penance i believe. effs but so it is.

    here i will also say i do NOT believe AT ALL we choose our own parents. We do NOT have that choice NOR say. it is chosen for us. So there!

    That said when it is some stranger i either cuss or snarl under my breath, get home n shower or have a soothing cup of tea n go ok that eff had an eff day n i wont take it on me nor contain it so erase delete bomb it out of existence.

    when ma effs me am i doing a few things, 1. i dye my hair a diff color, 2. i take a long long hot shower, 3. soothing tea while venting to good friends on fb LOL often i do all of them

    what gets me calm is the fact that my ma will never get who i really am, where i am headed, nor why i do the things i do, n i know she will never accept my health problems unless it is black on white n told to her by a superior medical person. it was like ok endo dealt with, check, all else can be dealt with through diets, excersize n fitness center. Oh and of course ALL WILL B SOLVED ONCE I WORK AGAIN.

    that is another debate issue, n i add it to here. do u have a person or persons who says if u had this or that did that n this everything in ur life health, aislements struggles n problems issue is going to solve itself???

    i do n she is called my mom. Work cures all is her mantra. Sadly she aint discovered it that that aint enough for me at all. i often wish i was born in a different decade bc id be satisfied being a work at home mom with a side job as writer poet creative person painter.

    my life needs an outlet time n flexibility to b creative whenever it strikes me. that u cannot do with a 9 to 5 job.

    cwb



  • MOM PROBLEMS? OH honey I do not go there. I would rather hit myself iin the head with a board and call it a day. Do yourself a favour and detach sooner than later. It's a bottomless pit of never enough. RUN! never look back. Everyone yearns to see mom's eyes light up when they enter the room--yearns to be ENOUGH--unconditionly. To be excepted for their own special quirky self. Be real charming one---if you feel like c rap whenever you are together something poisening is going on--toxic. Actually, I would be so excited if my mother even cared about my health or showed an ounce of concern. Only you know wether she is loving but from a different planet. If that's the case then just listen but let it fly out the other ear and have confidence in knowing who you are.



  • That is what i do after a good dose of venting cussing sipping tea showering n centering myself. dont get me wrong its not always a tugawar between us. at rare times we have a good time, but they are rare.

    Speaking of moms how has you it with ur mom, by this i dont ask blmoon but you guys who happen to see n read all this thread lol



  • My mom doesn't recognize boundries between her life & mine. She states her opinion no matter how hurtful or negative. If I try to talk to her about my life's concerns she usually starts talking about herself & her struggles-of course always more difficult than mine. Its taken a long time to realize she isn't the mom I would ask for if I could place an order so I work at setting limits & not letting the negativity pentrate. Some days I do great but those tired, weak moments its still hard. The lesson for me is say my opinion when invited or ask if its wanted & watch the way I say things when speaking with my sons.



  • I hear ya amused59. You are a good mom and its great to see im not alone on the sentiment of we do NOT choose our parents.

    cwb



  • OK in denmark we pay 2 times a year tvlicense which covers tv n radio in denmark, to see it to hear n so on BUT instead of improving it in my book they have made it worse n to add to insult added to the expense of it all.

    1. more expensive per half year and every new year we turn into

    2. more commercials between documentaries, series, great films etc to which they claim it is to make license n tv radio watching hearing CHEAPER.

    cheaper my BUTT!!!! in my book is the added longer and longer commercials that makes the tv license rise in price. NOT THE OTHE WAY AROUND. Which makes it all a whole load of CALYPSO!!!!!

    how is it in ur country? n what is ur idea on commercials that slams on in middle of an intriguing breathtaking learning documentary series or movie? i get effed up!

    cwb



  • We pay monthly for TV service. the cost varies w the package you buy- how many special channels you want ie sports, movies etc. Commercials are a big part of TV & interupt all shows. A 1/2 hr show w/out commercials is approx 20 min. It sure gets annoying especially if the same one runs more than once in a show.



  • Question: Does using internet dating sites have an effect on "going with the flow", "fate" or waiting for the Universe to respond to positive affirmations? Can we increase the pace by using these sites? I'm not sure of the success rate but there a definitely those who find a partner by using these sites.



  • Good debate suggestion. i love it. ahm of bat it shows variations, that u dare step out of comfort zones ................ to me are such date sites dead ends. ive only gotten 2 responses, the one very negativr discriminating from men who thinks they are gods apple n gift to women, n 2. wham bam thanx maam. u get the gist,

    i believe 4 my case r the use of date site a path to dead ends. id rather jump off a cliff n hope 4 the best on the way down lol

    cwb



  • I like this: The Debate Room! Thanks for setting it up CharmedWitchBente. Although I am married, I have a friend who uses dating websites. She is a wonderful friend, but lately her emotional roller coasters are taking their toll on me. Anyway, she got off the dating website networks because it was all talk and no action. Or the men she was talking to said really great things then bam outta nowhere they stopped calling or emailing or texting. Here's a question, if your social circle is where it is, how do you go about meeting new people? (My friend has that problem and feels her bio-clock ticking) Any suggestions or debates?



  • I have very mixed feelings about internet dating sites.

    My older sister met her husband on one. Happy ending.

    A girl I grew up with was stalked and murdered last year by someone she met on one.

    Extra, extra, EXTREME caution to anyone doing that!!!!!!!!



  • I would say dont do date sites. In end its in person the meet is to say click a possibility. I suggest get her friends to help, go out where men are found, galleries, sports places, concerts, ask a man where they r to be found. then try his suggestions out.



  • Stop looking and they show up. The more you grasp the more out of reach because we all know about energy here. Most woman who find their keeper tend to be surprised as if he popped in their life least expected or just when they gave up and men were the last thing on their minds! That doesn't mean a woman can go hermit and expect a man to come to her house and do all the work. UNLESS there was a divine destinany with the UPS man. Men will always be on the HUNT. They are attracted to a woman who is looking interesting from a distance--he likes to watch her for a bit BEING BUSY being herself. Good and bad with all her quirks. Too many woman looking--doing the hunting are not themselves and their energy is different. An honorable man does not jump on desperation or craving but yes the man ocean is full of sharks who exhist off of craving needing desperate for love women. Which means that a dating site is such a perfect place to hunt. I do not believe in all bad or good---just awarerness that the dating sites are going to attract the sharks as well as the nice guys who are lonely AND there is divine destiny. I'm sure some hook ups are made in heaven and the sites were a perfect handy situation to get two folks together. Nothing is black and white.I have heard from women who use those sites that many of the hook ups turn out to be married! In the end the bottom line is each person still has to excercise her gut feelings over wishful thinking. To say the site is all bad is like saying food is all bad just because a diabetic eats themselves to death. The site is what PEOPLE make it. Just like this site--we have honorable souls with good hearts a plenty and we get some dark ones and sharks who feed on desperation. How do we sniff out the helpers from the sharks? Ain't that the million dollar question! I believe each of us has a very unique path of our own. We are meant to meet who we meet in many different ways wether we muck it up or fight it. Not all unpleasent hookups are mistakes but lessons. As for attracting men and passion into your life you must BE PASSION--that helps. If you are out there in the thick of life doing something passionate --or just living passionately.---it draws people in. Think back to your most favourite teachers in schooll--who do you remember? The most miserable AND the passionate ones that lit up the room. Everyone else draws a blank. Energy is real. I know it is said so often here that it loses weight but people who go through the day feeling jazzed---rocking to the music--noticing the sky--the sunsets --smelling the roses---being happy. They draw in positive others. I'm not talking about the meek who just have a pure heart---who atract wolves but the happy folks who have spunk--strength. Who love nature and beauty YET will take that shovel and behead a snake in a heartbeat should it cross their pretty garden.



  • Well said BLmoon well said indeed.

    I just sat thinking about shoes. We all know women has thang for shoes, BUT what if the man you is with has more shoes than you, then what?

    im still getting used to it ............... i dont have that many shoes n im sure the ones i know woman that is has more than me. ive however never come past a guy who had more shoes than i and any woman i know ´.

    do i makes sense? lol

    oh and on men liking woman quirks n stuff, in my time helping people ive often replied the gals why men like em when they look n feel like eff. as 4 quirks i find it helps the men realize we aint picture perfect n by it nor do they have to be. makes sense no?

    lol

    cbw



  • What if the man has more shoes? HE'S G A Y!!!! Ha ha ha!



  • Maybe the on line sites bring us together with men whom we learn lessons from & help us make personal strides to a place we're ready to for the real deal when the Universe sends him our way.



  • Well said Blmoon. I'll talk with my friend later when she's able to listen. Right now she's looking at what she "ain't" got so to speak. Causing her more pain. On the shoes and guys, I had a guy friend who always seemed to have no money, even though he had a great job. Then I noticed every time he stopped by, which was alot, he had different shoes on. I kept thinking how many pairs of shoes does he have? Finally, I asked him, well he had many, probably put Imelda Marcos to shame. He admitted that he had a new shoe fetish and couldn't help but be stylin' with some new shoes.



  • Well BLMOon i beg to differ. the man i know who has more shoes than me is DEFINITELY NOT gay. not at all. TRUST me on that score.

    I like amused take on the dating scene n the right guy for us women,

    cwb

    ps i have athread asking would thise who read people have a go at it? thanx lol


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