Seeking clarity

  • A few wks ago my BF of 3.5 yrs told me he didn't want a relationship now & wanted to spend more time with his guy friends. He seemed confused & conflicted. He wants to remain friendly. Its been left to him to contact me in a few wks. I think its time for me to be open to other men. My instincts tell me he'll be back in time & want to date again in time. Whats with him?

    Thanks for your time on my behalf

    Blessed Be

  • Sometimes a man needs to see his woman from a distance to remember why he loves her. Sometimes we don't miss our water until it's gone. Sometimes too much togetherness breeds contempt. Instead of needing to snag a new man pronto--which by the way is not a good sign but suggests having a man is your first priority. Take a man vacation---reconnect with yourself for awhile. He may be doing the same--many relationships go throuh stages and at first two people get so close they forget what make them seperate and need to find a balance of being a couple yet a seperate person--with goals and dreams and responsabilities to their own destinanys. You have hit that crossroads. It's not always bad! BLESSINGS!

  • Blmoon

    Thanks. Sounds like its a time to breathe deep, see to the many other things going on in my life & reflect. I'm not one to be direct in meeting men- so the chances of that would be accidental at best. Good time to focus on more GFs one can't have too many GFs.

    Blessed Be

  • YES girlfriends do help make men more tolerable! God bless mine!

  • Hi Blmoon, hope you are in a happy place. I'm doing much better w that myself yet consider it a work in progress 🙂 Its past the time S said he would contact me. At this time, I would like him to contact me not to because I expect him to want to resume our relationship but rather because I'd like him to be a man of his word. I'm left wondering if he was honest w his intention or if he said things to make himself feel better at that moment. Regardless of what the future holds, I'd like to continue to think of him as a man w integrity & honor. Any insight as to whether or not he'll contact me is appreciated.

    Blessed Be

  • Hi amused, I hope you dont mind me butting in!


    I think if you put thoughts of him on the back burner time will reveal his integrity level, or the comfort he has in being frank. Some guys just cant be forthright because they dont want to hurt the person they are involved with.

    I had boyfriend once who couldnt tell me he was seeing a friend of mine for that reason. It wasnt that he didnt care a bean...he just didnt want to deal with knowing it would hurt me.

    Everything has a reason for coming into and passing through our lives. It hurt for a while...but now I look back and understand that it probably wasnt easy for iether of them. Relationships change through out our life and we grow until we meet the person we are ready for.

    Blmoon had great advice. Let us know what you are exploring!


    May blessings be many for you


  • a note....and the person is ready for you...

    and the timing is perfect

    You will know when it is

  • Thanks Patchlove my instincts agree with your advice . For me,S being frank would've been easier to understand & let go. I'm getting there 🙂 Right now I'm focusing on myself & GF time.

    Blessed Be

  • 🙂

    Good! By moving forward you will grow in perspective. Temper the present moment of conflict and pain by acknowledging there is a reason for everything- it is for your growth and opening the door for the true one to come into your life at another time, if that your hearts content.



  • Update: I heard from S this week. An email asking how I was & updating me about his kids, summer & job. I'll respond in a kind fashion keeping the door open for a friendly connection. Moving forward has been my focus these past months & I plan to continue to expand my tribe w more GFs & activities I enjoy. Have opened the door & my heart to a new relationship & await meeting a new man who is ready for me as I am for him. I am happy S did follow through & contact me I now have some peace of mind- he had integrity & sincerity & I prefer to remember him & our time in that way.

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