I REALLY NEED HELP WITH VIRGO MAN. HE'S IGNORING
I'm an Aries (21) and my boyfriend is Virgo (28) we've been dating for 1,5 years. so far is really nice to have date with him. he's patient, caring, loving, funny, and loyal. sometimes we fought cuz of my anger and impatience. but he always react respectful and patient. and he always calms me down.
but I'm really make him feel bad of our last fight (4 days ago).
I was jealous because he texted my bestfriend (a girl). but I didnt know what exactly he would talk about. I was mad and angry at him. I wrote on messenger that I dont like it.cuz he didnt tell me why he texted my friend. first, he was trying to calm me down and said I only over reacting, but I said something rude to him. and I said break up thingy. he kept trying to convince me. but i kept say break up. I think he lost all his patience on me. and he answer "fine, its over. maybe this is the best for us. we keep breaking up (Cuz I always say break up when we fought ) . and he said Have a great life, Good bye"
we didnt talk. and I apologized to him. I said I regret I keep say break up when we fight, I said sorry for talking harshly, I explained why. but he didnt give me answer.
and he only give one text reply like this "but we keep breaking up , I dont want to suffer you by the stupid thing I did ( I said he's stupid cuz he texted my gurl friend) and he said you deserve someone better than me "
after that I keep apologize, through text, call, and email even I sent him a video of me to show how I feel. anyway, we are in LDR now I dont know what to do.. its been 4 days.
anyway we have planned to get married soon, he says that he loves me very much. he always telling me that everyday till the last fight
question are : 1) will he call me back? 2) will he forgive me? 3) was the break up response is kind of final decision?? I love him so much now I really regret.
Hi Virgoman lover,
I think Virgos have a lot of things they could improve on, but you have made a couple of mistakes that could very well be end of your relationship. It would take a LOT to get this guy back, but most of all it would take that you fundamentally change your behavior. Virgo men do not like insecure women, you did very wrong about getting mad at your bf for texting your girlfriend, for all you know he could have been planning a surprise for you!! Your frequent outbursts and fights with him and threaten to end spoils the peace for a Virgo or any man. Nobody likes to be yelled at or told horrible things, or being given "the silent treatment". I do not know exactly what goes on with you both but in my experience Virgo will put up with a lot for even many years, but after a certain line is crossed is about self respect for them. He may adore you but if you are going against his self protection he, as anyone should, will choose that first. Give this ten days or two weeks, DO NOT CALL HIM. You have hurt him, so give it time. You cannot change him but you can change yourself. Think about what you want for the future, and change accordingly. People do not change overnight so work on your spirit. Try calling him or even going calmly in two weeks and see how it goes. In the meantime you may hear from him, but give him his space, he truly needs it. You were really mean to him.
He sent you that text " we keep breaking up, etc" as a way out, because he realizes that nothing he does, even if it is a good thing, will please you. You are a great girl, but you cannot deal with his changes in mood (I mean that he is mutable). You are also very passionate and you like to shake things up a little. I think over time you would grow really resentful of him and like I said, he will not change...
Much love and light to you...
now I dont know what to do, Last text I sent to him was " I'd like to tell you that if that was your final decision of breaking up, I respect that. its alright if you dont want to give it a chance, I understand why. I asked that because I still love you. But I want you to be happy. I hope we can be friend someday. anyway, have a nice day"
and still no respond. now I really need to give him space as my friends said. but im worried I wont hear anything from him as I made him lost his patience and not understand him enough.
he always being nice to me, this is the first time he got mad like this
I'm afraid he wont be back at me . I'm afraid that was his final decision.
I know this is the hardest time for you right now but let things be for a minute or too. Do not contact him and have some silence around you. If you truly want him back you need to get to a place first where you can understand our own behavior and understand where it is coming from, so that you do not have the same occurrences in the future. Regardless of him...you need to get to a place where you are not attached to the outcome of things, whether you lose him or have him back.
In a couple of weeks if you still have not heard from him you need to then maybe address some things, but not yet. Give yourself some silence. I will write more as to what that is. Give your self this time though, you need it.
are we really break up now? or he just give me such a punishment? OMG im so paniccccccccccc
Get yourself centered dear, if you truly want him back you need to center yourself first. Use meditation, connect to friends, other people, stay busy. Take the focus off of him, as hard as that is. If he senses you are needy, that's it! Let things be, reflect. There is no rush to define your future. Remember that you never lose what is truly yours in the first place...
You threatened him with breaking up every time you had an argument and now that you got your wish (if you didn't intend to, why would you say it out loud? you called that into your life that way) you seem surprised, he has only done what you wanted. You cannot expect him to come running back to you at this time. Have some peace, listen...you are not listening. Reach for peace within you and the rest with resolve itself.
I do really regret mardepp. I do, I really do regret. I know this is totally wrong. now I really want to fix it. Im still not mature enough for him.
anyway, today I sent him a letter by pos. with our picture together, I thank him for every sweet things happened in my life, I thank him for every patience he gave. I thank him to understand me.
but I also said sorry. I said sorry for not understanding him at work. I said sorry for not mature enough. and I said sorry for every bad things I did or said. I said sorry as well to make him feels bad.
he is touched when I did sweet things like that. I hope he will consider.
but one thing I confused about is, when I ask him a chance,, why he didnt asnwer No? or yes?
if he really means it why he's not insisting said no?
He is thinking, he doesn't want to answer, he is thinking. He does not want to speak with you until he sorts himself out. Let him be, he needs this time and so do you. I know that you want to fast forward time and get him to answer you but it doesn't work that way. You must let him deal with his things. If you reach out all the time and he comes back you will never be sure that it was for the right reasons. Do not coerce him into being in a relationship with you. Give it time, TRUST. You must TRUST (I know, easier said than done) that if he is meant to be in your life he will be...I am glad you wrote the letter if you felt you needed to do that, I just didn't think you were ready to do that without expecting a result. You must, must, must get to a place where you reach peace on your own...Please give yourself time to think about how YOU feel about things, the things that you liked and disliked about him. Why did he annoy you so much at times that you would fight. Those things are very important and signs that things need to fundamentally change, not only in the eventuality that you would be together again but for your own good. I think it is good that you said that you were sorry, but please let him be. Every time that you do not give silence to the situation it actually threatens it more, even if your instinct is to fix it. You can only fix yourself, nothing will change until you fix yourself first. You cannot control what he does. Give this time, calm down, it is the only way, if you find peace within that you may have a dialogue with him again, which is what you would like. Just breathe and stay within yourself, be present, start over for a few days. You may be surprised at what you discover...it'll make you a better you.
how long it would be ? when can I contact him back ?:( now I don't know what to do. should I give up or what
Dear Virgomanlover, I know this is really hard for you but you must be patient...how long has it been since you communicated with him? The problem is that you need to wait as along as it takes you to center yourself and accept things as they are now. In the Now things are distant between you, do not try to repair it no matter what. You need to wait and give things time. I said at least two weeks to a month but if you are not ready to contact him and you are basically anxious it doesn't matter how long you wait, he will see through that. Whatever you do it must come from your heart. How long has it been since your last actual interaction with one another? and how long has it been since you contacted him and didn't get a reply? You are still not thinking about you, you must center yourself first. Have peace.
OMG Mardepp!! he replied my email!
he was being nice. but we only talked through email
and we haven't talked about our relationship.
is he wants to be friend or he still taking time to see if I've changed for him or not?
how should I talk to him to make he calls me???
You have two options: Let the Universe work things on its own, there is always wisdom in that. The second option is free will, which you have exercised already a few times. How long did you keep the silence between your last e-mail and the previous communication. Was the e-mail short?
The is nothing that you can do to make him do this or that, people have free will and you must respect his free will because what got you in trouble before is exactly to do the opposite. You have not changed and you are not going to change overnight. You still have expectations and want to direct things and until you let go of the outcome of things and have peace in your heart that there is not true possibility of you two reconnecting.
Having said that you have free will, you can ignore everything and just go ahead and do what our heart desires. In that case, I would just travel and go see him if I were you because the phone or letters or e-mails is not enough in this. If you do this just show up and be open to things because he may receive you with open arms or he may just say no. Either way you will know and if you are the kind of person that cannot wait months to resolve something then just go and do that but be open for both outcomes...That is all I can say.
For him things take a lot of time, sometimes too long and for you they take forever, and sometimes you can't enough patience. In that sense, you have very different ways of seeing the world. He tried adapting to your way for a year and a half and he can't do it, it is just not him. The only option if for you to try his, if not you are just too different to make it work...
If you decide to go see him you cannot tell him. Just go, show up as a surprised and a humble attitude. If you tell him, he will ask for more time and be reluctant to the idea. See how it goes.
well,, we had nice conversation through email. and then he called me because I was ill. and he asked how was I.. he's still nice.
but I cried, I couldn't hold my tears
and I asked do you still love me? he said yes I do still love you.
after conversation I asked him about our relationship, he said He will think about it and make a decision
Im afraid is he playing mind games, or he's giving me punishment
he said its not about is he loves me or not. its about my happiness. he said he always makes me angry. and I said, its because of me couldnt control my anger.
but he said that is my personality, personality couldnt be changed easily. and I told him, but I want to control my anger even I know changing it will takes long time, but controlling is different issue.
and yeah, he said he will think about it later. but still he's nice and care to me. even he told my mom about my health (I live alone far from parents)..
Interesting, he said the same thing I said...let him be and work on yourself. Have faith that he loves you and work on yourself to change. Get to the root on how and why you do this. It is for your own good. That is why I keep saying, let things be, do not focus on him but you a this time. You have to find out why do you have these control issues. Even if you are in a committed relationship the other person is a separate being an identity from you, you must trust that they will be there for you because they want to not because you coerced them. I hope that you are feeling better...
we finally got back together a week ago.
but one thing I feel about him, he seems distancing. I mean, he used to call me like everyday after work. and talk on IM all the time.
but after we got back together, he just called me like twice in a week. and he seems ignoring my IM messages. although nothing change with how the way he talks to me, but the intensity of our commuciation is getting seldom.
he said he loves me. and I asked him why he changed?
he said I don't change honey. but still he pays no attention now. just different.
I'm afraid is he feel insisted when we got back? because I couldn't hold my tears and beg him for last chance for me to change my bad nature
whats should I do now? is it normal after break up?
Please, please to not chase him away! He is back in your life, you must focus on yourself, please, do that. Have interests, be independent, have your own life. Stop living your life through him and with fear, because you will just push him away that way. You talk that much because it is what he can give you at the moment. Do not ask him why he texts or calls less or why he is different, you can ask once but after that let him be. Relationships change and mutate all the time, we are not the same. For a relationship to be successful both parties must adapt to constant changes and allow each other to grow. If there is no change there is no growth. You are making him the center of your life and even if you were married to him you should not do that. You must be responsible for your own happiness and then you can have someone to enhance your life. Please let him be and stop the pressure. If you have interests and a busy life he will get curious as to why he does not hear from YOU. Turn the tables! Tell me more about yourself, do you go to school? do you have a job? friends and family? Pets? Please do all this, if you do it for the right reasons you will have him in your life and many more things. I am telling you this from my own experience. Relax my dear, let him live and live yourself. You want to be bubbly when he calls you so that he looks forward to the call. If he calls you and you pressure him with questions he recoils. All men are like that. I lost the love of my life for doing what you have been doing. He came back briefly and then he never, ever gave me a chance again. I just lost him. So I know what I am telling you from my own experience. Please, change and grow...