DisirnottTarot, What do the Guides Want?

  • Ive really been spiraling out of control emotional wise and have been extremely frustrated with life and the Universe. Im becoming increasingly more and more bitter and pessimistic. I want to make a change but I feel like being positive is going to hurt me more because I feel I deserve good but at the same time don't deserve anything.

    Ive been in TX for 2 years hated it, learned a lot met a few people but don't see as a place for me and my family. Me, my mom and my siblings came here to get away from my abusive father only to have him come down here a little after we left and be ignored and ridiculed by the side of her family. I used to talk to my old friends from high school but they've moved on and got college which Im somewhat jealous of because my college experience will never be as much as I wanted it to. I tried for awhile and finally a month or two ago I got into school-At least I got into online with a MacBook, fully paid tuition (for now) and a camera package (great school). The ex boyfriend (who I was really into) was the only guy I talked to on the phone constantly-I was supposed to move in with him as I went to school in NY (my dream school)but he dumped me viciously and never spoke to me again out of nowhere-which hurt like hell badly-took me awhile to get over it. I can say I still think of that situation often (I got over him and not the situation) only because it reminds me of what others do to me a lot-even when I love and treat them with such care-hate me, leave me and forget like Im nothing special. My father, my ex, my mother and fathers family some friends (Even though it really isn't there fault-they have lives in college)....It hurts and as much as I build friendships of some sort with others down here-I can't get as close to them as I could because of how hollow, angry, hurt and isolated I feel. My father and I got into a huge fight (that is really painful to discuss especially since my mom still talks to him) and now he doesn't talk to me anymore and took my car he bought (I expected it because its the kind of person he is). He talks to my other brothers and sisters (which he still hurts them badly) but he spends more time with them and wants to do nice things for them whenever he is being nice and talks about me bad and takes my mom and treats her out (which even though I act like I don't care on the outside it hurts a lot). I don't have any guys that approach me or like me at all-I feel I will always be alone and single. I feel like Im not emotionally ready for all of that right now as much as I want a boyfriend or date. But at the same time I feel I will never be good enough and no one will ever like me and will just hurt me like a lot of people have.

    On top of that, I am chasing my dreams to be a filmmaker/screenwriter-I poured money into a few contest no luck. Finally got my camera to make some things happen (not that I think I'll hit big time quickly or like its easy) I feel like I have skill too bad no money. I make more money now than ever around-$400-$500 a paycheck (got a raise at my job). But my mom has no job now and my siblings constantly need things (My dads a deadbeat and doesn't effectively pay for his kids at all) so guess what? I save-too bad take it out everyone needs something to eat. Or no-have reality TV show to shoot that I can get paid for-finally can actually get somewhere, have the money to buy equipment-no sorry-need to pay for this or that! It gets soooo tiring and puts me on hold for a longggggg time. I can't save or do for myself for awhile. And after all of this, any time I do something for myself-buy a shirt, film equipment anything-its frowned upon-I can do more with my money in their mind (in regards to myself-save for a car, moving out) TOO DAMN BAD I CANT BECAUSE I SPEND SOOO MUCH FOR YOU GUYS.

    Its not that I don't like helping at all (Thats far from the case I derive a lot of satisfaction from it-to make sure they're safe and happy is everything) Its just I hate putting everything on hold when I feel I don't have to. Trust me my mom and siblings need it I get wants from time to time but mostly needs. IT s just tiring and hurts me.

    I just want to know what to do Im lost because any plans I make gets ruined nothing has worked for me and Ive learned so much here in TX, I just want to get out and utilize it while i have time. Sometimes I really want to die (but then I fear it) and hate living because I feel I will never be anything-I might have material success-fame and four tune but don't feel I will ever be completely happy.

    I want help but I have no one to talk to that can help the way I feel I can be helped. I hate to feel this way because my mom has gone through sooo much (and so have my siblings) and still do. They deserve the world for everything they been through and fight for. I love them a lot but it pains me to feel this way. They've really have tried to help-I just feel my mom is stressed out. I don't have my own room or space-I just sleep wherever in my moms house. So venting is given on occasion not too much you can be scolded or at the mercy of others and their feelings. Its really hard right now and I just want solutions.

    What do the guides say? I really want help.....

  • You have a lot to say, but as a tarot reader I don't need to know the details behind your story because the guides already know what you are asking about. As far as the guides are concerned you don't ever need to say this much to ask for help. If you want a reading just ask for a reading. For the purpose of not influencing the reading that I might give you I didn't read past the first few sentences. If you want a reading let me refer you to my website, as currently I am unable to do readings gratis as I am booked solid for the next week.



  • If you are only interested in a free reading you are going to have to wait until I am next available for one due to my work schedule.


  • Ok thats just fine I don't mean to spread negative vibes or anything-Im was just venting. Thanks for the free reading offer-I don't mind waiting...

    Thank you so much...

  • Asia118X,

    Please give me your permission and your question and I post the message in a week or so. Thanks for being patient.


  • I Asia118X gives you my permission to give me a reading. I was just wondering what the guides want for me and what is the best direction for me right now in regards to my life?

  • Asia118X,

    During this reading your guides came through. I usually hear through my guides but this is really very significant because for your guides to come through and announce themselves it's going to be a pretty serious message. And they really want you to get the message! Word of warning: The message is very direct and straight forward and hard to hear, a lot of it is your guides shouting at you, it’s basically a come to Jesus moment so if you aren’t comfortable with that and not ready to hear what they say than don’t read it! And remember you gave me your permission to do a reading for you - don't ask the question unless you're ready to hear the answer. And if this hasn't scared you enough then read on...your guides want you to.

    Knight of Wands Reversed : 10 of Swords : XXI World

    5 of Cups Reversed : 6 of Swords Reversed

    You want an opportunity, you want a good calling but it's not yours yet. And the guides are going to tell you why. Everything can be yours they say if you get on the right path and focus. And right now you're not on the right path. You might think you are or at least be in denial about it but (this is where your guide steps in and announces herself because she didn’t like that I didn’t directly call you out for being in denial so I gave the mike over to her at this point) YOUR guide is telling you that you are in denial and you're going to have to work through this in order for us, (your guides) to help you through this and right now we can't. Right now, we're sitting on our hands or twiddling our thumbs because you won't get your agenda in motion. How can we help you, especially since you act out all the time? How can we change how you feel in order to reach you? We can't temper you down long enough for you to listen to us. When you act out your brain shuts down to us and we are here screaming at you trying to help and all you can do is run around like a chicken with your head cut off. So how can we help you? Let me tell you...it's frustrating because we are still here trying to think of ways to move you forward but you're so stuck in your ways that you can't help being yourself and right now you aren't being a very good you...so again I will have to ask you, how can we, your guides help you? We are facing a brick wall when we try to help and we are fighting an uphill battle because your emotions will shoot off the Richter scale and we won't be there to help you through that. So what do you want us to do? Sit and wonder how to help you? Well we are doing that and it's not helping much is it. So get your head out of the sand and LISTEN TO US!

    Bad things are going to start happening, if they haven't already. And how do you expect us to help you when you won't listen to us? How loud do we have to scream before you hear us? It's thoroughly frustration but you won't do anything to change it...so now that we have the chance to speak to you directly we are taking it because this might be one of the last times we can directly speak with you. So listen up! We aren't playing games and if you want to keep doing the things you've been doing and sticking your heels in the sand then we are going to play hard ball too. There is something bad coming up and we want to see how you'll react when it happens. How do you expect to get through things without your guides helping you? When bad things like this come up how can we tell you unless you listen?! Well, now's your chance because something bad is coming up, at least on your current path and you have two choices, either change and it will change or stick your feet in the mud again and get bulldozed over by it. Those are currently your only two options. And yet again I'm asking you how can we help when you are completely blocking us out? This is our job to help you, you know, we're here for a purpose. We aren't just floating around trying to shoot your with random events, we plan out your life and death and we are here to help you when you need it but when you don't listen we have to make you listen so are you going to listen now or are you just going to emotionally act out again and shut any progress down? What do you want to do because we, your guides are thoroughly fed up with you?

    You can have everything you want okay! You can get it all and more but how can we, your guides, help you when you aren’t listening to us. We can tell you how to become a millionaire, we can tell you how to get a love match, we can tell you the winning lottery numbers, we can do all that and more but how can we tell you when you aren’t listening??? So what do you expect us to do, just sit here with all this juicy information that you aren’t using because you aren’t getting it or scream it through to you through this tarot reading? How can we help you more when you aren’t even accepting the help we’re giving you right now? What else can we do to kick you into motion? How are we going to get this through your thick head when you don’t listen to us??? So what do you want? You want the world on a silver platter….we’ll give it to you, you want to lounge around on a island beach…we’ll give that to you, you want to meet a guy that takes you to heaven and back…we’ll give you that but how can we give you that when you aren’t listening to us???? So now you’ve come to an impasse, either listen to us and move forward and get what you want or don’t listen to us and wallow away because you’re guides aren’t going to be trying to reach you for long, especially at the current rate that you are going and we want you to know that if this continues we’re out and you’re just going to be used as a tool for the remainder of your life. (That last sentence was them speaking to your soul. So if you don’t understand it, your soul got it.) So what’s it going to be?

    You need to stop wasting your time over all the things you’ve lost…they are just things okay and you don’t need to waste your life away worrying about them. Same goes for all the people you just won’t let go too, let go of it all. You’re dragging all this baggage behind you and it’s like the Titanic is weighing you down. How can you expect to move forward when you have all these weights holding you back and holding you down. It’s like you’ve dug a hole for yourself to hoard all these negative things that you just won’ let go but because you’ve done that you’re down in the hole with the rest of them. So what do you want to do? You want to move forward or do you want to move back? Because we, your guides, don’t want that (you moving back) and if you think about moving back we’re going to make you into a tool in an attempt to at least push you forward or at the very least not allow you to go back. (Serah interjecting: When they are talking to you about you being a tool they are talking to your soul. It means that instead of them trying to progress you or advance you they’ll just put you in a type of emotional limbo where you just advance others, you would no longer be working on yourself, which they consider wasted time. That’s why they are so angry.) So what do you want to do? And consider carefully before you answer us because we are listening to you and whatever you choose we will oblige.

    Move away from sadness, move away from anger and hysterics. Move away from all of that because if you don’t you’ll never get those happy and optimistic opportunities you want because we won’t give them to you until you change. How can you expect to get rewarded when you don’t do anything worth the reward, hence, how can we give you opportunities to change the scope of your life until you allow your life to be changed by listening to us? How much farther can we push until you open up your hearing to us? We, your guides, love you and we are doing everything in our power to move you forward. But at this point it looks like a wasted effort because you aren’t making the effort with us, so how can we help you any longer? How can we help someone who doesn’t hear us, even if they want the help? How can we reach you to help change your life for the better when you’re blocking us out? You have to answer these questions before you life can change for the better because we are sitting here with our hands tied behind our backs trying to help you but all we can do is scream things to you and you won’t even hear us. We are trying to do the best we can but unfortunately nothing has reached you until now. I hope this tarot reading opens your eyes up because after this we might never get a chance to speak directly to you again, not until you open up to us. So do yourself a favor and open up your eyes. Listen to us and we will help you.


  • Asia, your guides would never speak to you that way. Although our guides are not here to make life "easy" for us, they would certainly never give you such a message. If they are so adamant that you listen to them, then why didn't they tell you something other than to listen? Listen to what, exactly? Be careful of putting blind trust into people you do not know!

  • Watergirl18,

    I do not influence the messages. The guides will give you the message that you need to hear. You can't judge what another person needs to hear. I don't sugar-coat my messages and I did give her a warning at the beginning. If she is mature enough to ask the question than she is mature enough to make up her own mind on whether it is the truth or not. I've confirmed that this is exactly what her guide wanted her to hear, so much so that she came directly over the reading.


  • The guides are going to give you the message in anyway they can. If that means screaming, yelling, talking naturally, or influencing your life so that way you start getting a hint you will do it. So, remember that the guides are there to lead you anyway they can to make sure you learn your lessons in life, positive or negative.


  • Serah, does your true soul family, your committed guides ever threaten to leave you? I've never heard nor imagined that was the case.....I have heard that the lessons and consequences just get harder, but never that they will give up as long as you have breath!

    Asia, I hope you will not feel so hopeless for long - remember that we have all the time we need in this lifetime to do what we are meant to do, and that as long as you never give up, you have not failed!

  • No, your guides never leave you. They love you, they even said so in the message if you are referring to that. They are just so frustrated that she isn't moving forward. So instead of her moving back they will stop trying to teach her soul lessons and just make her into what they call a tool. A tool is someone who helps others learn their lessons, the problem with this specific case is that this lifetime for her is meant for her to progress and because she isn't doing that her guides are really getting frustrated. So no, they will never leave her, she'll probably have the same guides for the next hundred lifetimes at the least, what they are saying is if you choose not to move forward any longer, we, your guides, will no longer push you forward, we will allow you to push others forward. But, again in this case, they don't want her to do that because she wasn't meant to be a "tool" in this lifetime, so they don't want her to lose the chance to grow if she can. But the guides are also in a hard place because it's there jobs to move her forward and they love her so they don' t want to stop trying to move her forward - they just don't want her to fight herself over it anymore. And, yes, it was a very hard message to give, but when I asked them again about the content and accuracy, they were very direct with me. Yes, they said, it was perfect.

    Asia your guides are just trying to help you. They've just done everything else that they could have done and now they are standing at an impasse with you, so this was a crossroads for them and you. Most of the message was directed at your soul, they weren't speaking to your mind. As long as you read it, your soul will understand, and at your soul level you will either decide to change or not.

    I'm sorry if this message offended anyone, it was not meant for that. But this was the message, simple and clear. And this is what you can get if you are fighting with your guides or fighting with your soul in moving forward. That is why I always ask for permission before I post it. This is real tarot - getting messages straight from the guides, this isn't just about what's going to happen in the next three to five months with love and life, this is also what's going to happen to my soul for the rest of my lifetime. In this case, the guides needed to talk about that, but the guides are wanting me to remind everyone that she asked. And if you are ready to ask the question, than you are ready to hear the answer. If you don't want to hear the answer - then don't ask, the guides say it's that simple.

    If you want any help Asia I'm very happy to help. This was just a warning to kick start you into actions if you want to change, but you still have the choice, that's why they were so forceful because this is the last time they are going to bother you over this. This was just information for you to make the decision over. And whether you want or don't want to come back to me is fine. I'm here to pass on the message whatever it might be but I'm also here to help so don't think I've blocked you out. I'm willing to help you if you want it.


  • Thank you everyone for your love and support. Even though I a little shocked how the angels said it, I do need to change. Ive been on negative mode and really want to be able to be completely happy-it is a progress but I know I can do it if I put my mind to it.

    I planning on going to therapy and just trying to focus because I so scattered around everywhere and I think my environment is not helping.

    Watergirl and Jillian thank you all so much for everything and Blmoon if you are out there thank you too. Just if you can a guide or pointers to change can help. I would love some positive feedback on my plan:

    Dieting and Exercise

    Maybe Yoga


    10 minutes of silence everyday

    Writing down my negative thoughts

    Any ideas or thoughts

  • Long time Asia! I must say I read your post and the ego from h ell smack down and resisted a reply --just said a prayer--besides you know more than words how spirit FEELS and if anything it would in it's own reverse way actually get you back to your true self. Not surprised Watergirl as well as Jilllian had something to say! I believe my last reading for you was about many of the same issues only they were just cravings and impatience for action. NOW it seems you are more than feeling stuck you are feeling trapped. Truth is, you can't find clarity in the middle of it and your list really reflects you are somewhat intuitive about an answer as all your list ideas involve ways of finding clarity--by removing yourself from the chaos or fears or distractions. What has not changed is your impatience for something big---you know you are talented--ambituiouse and sense a real future but it is not right now---there is a huge gap between the you now and the future you believe in. I felt that way very much in my late twenties. Very frustated. It is a trapped feeling and often projected onto outside onsticles--we think things are holding us back when really we are impatient. AND we do not yet understand the process--the journey--the foundation---the building towards the future. Ambition can be very painful when we are not there yet. That is why not every talented person does not always reach their full potential---it's the work part--the failures--the falling down--the rejections--the obsticles---the learning curve. You need to set your sight on a goal yet learn to celebrate small goals. The spirit needs to be fed successes---give yourself small ones. I still see your greatest need is education. Talent needs craft. You believe in yourself and want to cut corners and just hit the runway. Except that no one big move is going to launch you into success but persistance will and the ability to focus while living in chaos is the true power you need. Often, the ego is not our friend as much as it is in times of self confidence it also can lie---when it blames our fears of failure on others. I think this message has entered your consciouseness as your list adresses this. You are being pointed in the right direction to be considering ways of removing your inner peace from the chaos. NO one can hold you back without your permission and as frustrating as it is--your problem is universal. I too have times of pity party ---if only---and how much is lost because of others. Best to purge those real emotions and realise that's all they are--emotions--go ahead cry a few days. BUT succesful people do not wallow--it gives away your power. Emotions need a head--clarity. You accept it and say--ok--it IS WHAT IT IS--forget why--forget victim. NOW how am I going to make this work.

  • I GOT CUT OFF!! There is a resistent energy pushing back so if this fails again will get back later--I will be quik and return. First advice is to start with lists--this engages the head energy. You can't change right now the living conditions so list survival plans. Once you can find clarity you will receive problem solvers. Once you release victim energy you will attract abundance--that could translate into succesful roomates who invite you into there lives. Change your energy. You can't make a feed my needs list without knowing what that is--you need success--so make a fridge list--in sight and list stuff you mean to get done and cross off as done--keep these all sizes--like--paint the ugly spot on wall that bothers me--clean out my closet---sort my papers etc. Ass you cross off you will feed the success craving. Make a list of abundance--what you DO have--even the small stuff. At night--end your day before sleep with I AM GREATFUL things--for my toes--feel them wiggle---for my bed---see others on the street--or in jail--but feel your roof over your head--just keep saying your greatfulls. THIS changes your energy and life is so much about laws of attraction. Spend alone time away from conflict at home--sit in the park---have a walking ritual---sit in a library or all night book store--look up writing groups on a bullitin board at a library. Seek education--surround yourself with positive people and people who can teach you. Pray to Saint Michael to help you find your strength to do the hard stuff right now and believe he will. BLESSINGS!

  • Hello Asia118X I read all your posts and I felt very sad for you .. But this last post from Blmoon was so inspiring I was very pleased for you and I wanted to let you know that her advise of praying to SAINT MICHAEL will be very helpful and enlightening. I had a situation with a reading and I lit a candle asked HIM for help to hear from a very special person .... I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT as I have not seen this person for 13yrs and I HAD NOT HEARD FROM HIM FOR 2yrs of course this was very sad for me as It is one of my sons that I LOVE AND MISS VERY MUCH. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THE VERY NEXT MORNING I HAD A MESSAGE FROM MY SON, My story is in my forum and I too was given a reading by I think the same person as you. The guides where very strong and yet I feel it woke me up and got me on a new path. I wish the very best for you. Blessings to you from me and Saint MICHAEL ..... Leinida

  • Leinida,

    It was the same person and I thank you for your complement.


  • Correction - compliment

  • Hello Disirnott, I truly wanted to be helpful to Asia and all her concerns,,,, so of course you are welcomed.

  • Thank you so much everyone for your love and support. Shaubby, Blmoon, DisirnottTarot,everyone 🙂

    The guides were strong but it spoke to me that motivated me to change my negative ways and let go of things. In regards to Blmoon, I believe it is my impatience-I really need to stop it. Ive already started making strides in change. I rarely complained about anything today and just consistently thought positive and blocked any negative feeling out by turning it around. Im writing to letter to everyone that has hurt me in the past so I can be set free-even though I can't talk to them physically-Im writing it down tonight as if we are face to face.

    I prayed to my guides and prayed to God today and thanked them for everything and said sorry for the way I had been behaving. I will pray to Saint Michael soon as well (never knew I had a saint). I talked to people and witnessed things today that seemed to redeem me and it seems as if it was my guides speaking to me. I realized I need to feed my soul, rinse all of the bad out before I make any clear decision. I feel it help me get some much needed clarity.

    I keep posting about my progress from here on out everyone-thank you and have a blessed day.

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