Anyone willing to do a reading on love :)
My name is Laura, & I would like a reading in regards to my love life. I recently ended things with this guy (Eduardo) I was sort of seeing for the past year. He never wanted a relationship but I kept hoping for one. Then this other guy I've been talking to recently (Marcus), his girlfriend contacted me! I had no idea.
That's my background at this point, so I just want to know what should I look forward to, or expect to happen in my love life? It seems a little disappointing at the moment.
Thank you & I'll be appreciative of any offer
Laura, I feel that you have many preconceived ideas about what love and your lovers should be, but you need to let go of all these expectaions and notions and just live for the moment. You need to meet all different sorts of people (not just those you consider 'right' or acceptable for you) and have a variety of life experiences. This is what the relationships you have had so far are trying to teach you - to enjoy someone's company but not see it as a definite and serious future commitment, otherwise you will cheat yourself of a fuller experience of life. You need to find the passion in you, to throw yourself into living, and not choosing partners by their social status or career or looks or whatever, those types who will not commit to you permanently. You don't need that sort of commitment right now, not until you first experience all that life has to offer. Settling down should come after you have seen a lot more of what the world has to offer. Deep inside you choose men who won't hold you back from enjoying a variety of experiences because that is the destiny path you have chosen. You need to get closer to and understand better your own feelings before you try to get close to someone else. Self-expression is key for you in this lifetime.
What you really want is to experience happiness, harmony, fairness, and support with one partner whom you love. But if your choices are based on superficial qualities like their bank balance or social status, you will be ignoring your gut feelings which are telling you that a life partner cannot be chosen by the head but by the heart. Before you settle on someone, you need to be your own best partner and friend first - by getting to know yourself, you will then understand what really makes you happy and brings you joy. As you learn how to treat yourself more fairly (by choosing partners who want more than a temporary affair with you), you will feel the sense of balance and justice you seek. Only then can you establish a healthy relationship wherein two individuals share equally with each other without feeling debilitated.
Check for old, buried anger. You may have a problem showing anger even when the situation justifies it. You don't always have to maintain a sweet and charming exterior that may come across as a bit passionless. People won't think you are mean or nasty if you show your true feelings. They would probably prefer honest anger to a fake amiability all the time. You want to love and be loved. You want to do nice things for people and not resent them. But when you hide your true feelings, it makes it hard for others to really get to know you. You don't like yourself much when you are nasty, but holding back because you're scared of what will happen if you are real is worse for you.
Your life lesson may include getting over the struggle between you and an aggressive parent. It's going to come up in every relationship you have - submissive child-aggressive parent, or submissive parent-aggressive child. You tend to be more intense than most Librans and it gives you an even deeper need for better relationships, despite all your subconscious resistance. You can often get too obsessed with yourself and thus make it harder for people to break through the barriers you put up. Relationships are always fraught with control dynamics but they only seriously disintegrate when you feel weak and struggle against them (submissive) or try to control the other person (aggressive). You can seethe if your partner doesn't consult you over their every major decision and you are still working through rage and a fear of being controlled that that has its source far, far in the past. Your lovers must be strong, clear, direct, open, and self-assertive to gain your respect, yet you often are drawn to those who are not honest or open. Getting more in touch with what you really want and laying the past to rest will go a long way to helping you create loving, healthy relationships.
Wow thank you so much. I think everything you wrote is true regarding my perceptions & expectations of my relationships. I can only think of one solution - to force myself to be alone. I haven't truly been alone in 7 years so I have so much to learn about myself first. Hopefully I will find joy in my life with myself first before beginning the next relationship.
Thank you again
You're right - but don't think of it so much as being on your own as getting to know someone who can become your best friend and supporter, someone who will be with you everywhere you go, and will never let you down or abandon you.