Recapturing the Cancer Man's Heart

  • So, I have been invited to dinner at Cancer's house Sunday. He's cooking for me. 🙂 My divorce is final and he is aware... We have been talking on the phone here and there and texting. I always keep it light and joke a lot. I'm nervous about Sunday though. This is him letting me back in and I want to take it slow and dance with him. I love this man no doubt. Each date I go on with someone else it's more and more evident that I love my Cancer man. Now, I plan to continue taking care of me, but I want to grow this thing with him like he wanted to from the beginning. Does dinner Sunday mean he wants to let md back in and see what's here? I think so... And how do I not jump in too fast, but still show him I want this?

  • First he will see if there is anything there before he considers letting you back in. Cancers do not trust easily or quickly. Don't put too many expectations, stress or pressure on this dinner.

  • Especially do not dress in a seductive manner or be too forward - Cancer men like feminine but not too obvious or pushy women.

  • TaurusinT- Please take my advice , This is your chance to redeem yourself , start over and act like you would on a first date , take the time to get to know each other , but not all in one night! Be yourself, make sure to look nice , if you've got legs , show them! Soak it in , savor this moment with him and dont stay the night or sleep with him , its ok to be physical without getting too intimate, otherwise your relationship will only be based on * * x. Make sure to have lots of eye contact , and allow him serve you , let him cater to you , however just make sure you do the cleaning up since he did the cooking. Also try not to get too deep or demand a "talk" about our relationship , that should come later , just focus on rediscovering each other and what attracted you two to each other in the first place. I will be wishing for the best , im seriously excited for you. And from one Taurus to another , please dont overthink it!!!!

  • How quickly im feeling nostalgic, thinking of me and my cancer friend, I just loved feeding him , just like a baby ! sigh

  • ea, thank you! That was my plan... I'm trying to just be thankful I get another chance and I really do WANT to take it slow now. I am so excited and can't wait for Sunday... And no, I wont overthink it. I'm just there to get to know my friend again. 🙂

  • So, Cancer and I had dinner at his house. He made me a steak dinner with all the fixings. He was quiet-not like him at all. Then, after dinner we made out a little and he brought up relationships. He told me he hadn't really seem anyone since me-been on a few dates but nothing intimate. He said he isn't sure he wants a relationship and sighted past relationships where he had been burned. He said because of that he's cautious and the person he ends up with (if he ends up with anyone) will be someone he grows into it with, but he also said maybe that person won't be ready when he is or that they won't stick around to see what happens. He acted like it was no big deal for me to go, but kept talking out the door and onto the porch. We sat and talked on the porch and when I stated to share that I wasn't trying to have a relationship with him, he got shift and went in to check in his dog. I said I had to go. He walked me to my car and asked if I had to work tomorrow... I said yes. He said well I guess you should go home then. He said I would have to cook for him next time. I got ready to kiss him and he said if we're not in a relationship I can't Kiss you on the lips. I kissed him on the cheek and left. Anyone have an interpretation of what the hell he wants?

  • Why did you say you weren't trying to have a relationship with him when you obviously are? He may have picked up that you weren't being honest with him.

  • Because, I'm not trying to jump into a relationship. I just got divorced. I want to date-see what happens. He doesn't want a relationship either. He told me so way before I ever said I was trying to be in a relationship. We started our time together with me pushing him for a relationship which scared the crap out of him. He ran. I don't want a relationship. I love him, but I can't do another relationship for a while. I want to have time with him-hang out, cook for each other-be comfortable hanging out-until our hearts trust that we can be in a relationship without hurting each other. I miss him like crazy! I miss our intimacy too, but to try to have a relationship would just scare him away and make me too serious. I already have that problem. I want to have fun with him and this will grow if we will let it. Captain, I love him and I think he has feelings for me, but neither of us is ready for anything serious.

  • It sounds like he doesn't want to date, just to be casual friends. Can you do that?

  • Neither of us want to date. We want to be together without the commitment for now. I'm tired of being in relationships and he wants time to figure out if he even wants a relationship ever. We're on the same page, but he says things that make me think he wants a relationship. I want our intimate relationship with casual friendship-see what happens. I do love him, but I'm not ready to commit to anything... My question is will this be all he ever wants if this is what we pursue. Can he see me as his serious relationship down the road? And by down the road, I mean at least a year. This is my way of keeping myself positioned in his life and us both having what we want without the stress because I can't handle the emotional stress of relationship.

  • This man has been so burned by past relationships that I feel it is easier for him to be mostly on his own and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

    I find your words very confusing as you keep contradicting yourself over and over. "I'm tired of being in relationships", "I want our intimate relationship with casual friendship", "Neither of us want to date", "I can't handle the emotional stress of relationship", "I love this man no doubt", "how do I not jump in too fast, but still show him I want this?", "I really do WANT to take it slow", "I am so excited and can't wait for Sunday", "he said if we're not in a relationship I can't Kiss you on the lips. I kissed him on the cheek ", "I want to date - see what happens", "I want to have time with him-hang out, cook for each other-be comfortable hanging out"...

    What exactly do you want here? Casual sex with this guy feeling he doesn't need to stay in regular contact with you? No going out anywhere together? No lip-kissing? Him going for long periods without seeing or contacting you? Him seeing other women? No signs or words of love and commitment between you? Because that sounds like what you are agreeing to. You need to be honest with yourself about what you want. Of course, you want this man's love and affection. You don't want to be kept at arm's length. You want him to take you out. You want a relationship with him. Unless you define exactly what it is you want, you will get something that is vague and unformed and noncommital - and it will stay that way. I feel you are just agreeing to what this man wants so he will keep you around while you hope he falls madly in love with you.

  • I want to have time with him-hang out, cook for each other-be comfortable hanging out-until our hearts trust that we can be in a relationship without hurting each other. I miss him like crazy!

    Is this what you want to do? It sounds like a good idea. I think its best to give it a go.

  • Captain, I can see why you feel like I'm contradicting myself. I don't mean date in the usual sense of the word. Dating stinks. I want to spend time with him when we can. Our lives are busy, we work separate shifts and weekends are not always free for us either because of our families. I want sex with him-absolutely! I want our friendship which is strong, I want to see if something can be built waaaay down the road. I have been wounded by an ex husband who didn't touch me, kiss me, or look my direction for the last five years of our marriage. I MISS SEX! I'm still working on my idea about love and my expectations of love. I do know I love Cancer man, I want a sexual relationship with him, I want to be free to date should someone come along I would like to date (although I have no interest at the moment), I want to do what we do. We cook for each other, during sex we do kiss on the lips, we went shopping together for our dinner Sunday-we go out. I plan to make it clear what I want. He knows I want his heart too but that I'm not ready for all that just now. He says he isn't either. He says he doesn't want to date anyone. He likes his life on his own- just like you said, but he wants us to cook for each other and he says he's comfortable with me in his home and with his dog. We have both been burned. I don't know of I can be married again ever or even let someone in, and right now I don't want to try. Instead, I want to enjoy being me-single me. I love spending time with him and sex is a must so why not with someone I do love and if more happens-awesome! If not, it wasn't meat to be, but at least I'm enjoying the parts of "relationship" that I want right now with someone who gets me and wants the same thing.

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