Blmoon, it's Friday and he called like you said
I got up this morning and was having my coffee when the phone rang, it was Ron. He still doesn't know anything about the court date, he even mentioned that John never responded to his last email.
I told him JHohn won't respond Ron he gave you 3 years and he is done with you. He said What does that mean are we going to court, and I said I don't know.
Didn't feel like getting into it with him.
The reason he called is that Drew turns 26 tommorrow and he was asking about gifts. I had contacted him a few weeks ago about asking his sisters boyfriend where to buy used surfboards.
We talked for awhile about alot of things, nothing too personal and when I got off the phone I spent 2 hours getting my paperwork together for my bulldog.
So sad it has to end this way, but I gave him so long to change his mind and evevn longer to realize he will have to pay and it would be nicer for me if a judge didn't tell him that.
HE REALLY IS CLUELESS AS TO THE DAMAGE HE HAS CAUSED.
I just sat with my coffee and went right to the other thread thinking for sure there would be a post because yesterday was Friday and I was expecting something---of course the thread had no response yet so I said hmmm maybe my vibe is off yet I felt a post for sure---then figured maybe later today but then I usually check no response new threads and here you are! He is clueless and that's why it's hard to even direct anger at him as it's useless because his intentions are not to be a tool--he just is detached---lies to himself and only connects with others who allow him to live delusional. And he honestly felt things would just drift along and somewhere you'd give up. The s hit is about to hit the fan so stay clear. I still see her with paperwork in her hands---them fighting. He will scaramble for last minute legal advice and will get a big reality check. Bottom line is he will realize YOU have the upper hand. The lawyer will offer to take his case--for a very large retainer. Ron is going to freeze up mentaly , he has no idea how to navigate around the new Nancy. He will try pursuading you but do not let him go there--at all. Let someone else--the bulldog---take care of you. This is something you earned so let her do everything. Legaly your lawyer has to report to you any corospondance so yes he will try and bargain and avoid court. Trust whatever advice you get but I know this bulldog has her game plan in play already and your friend of the family is done and Ron was not expecting that. Clueless wishful thinking. Ron just gets through each day without much insight to the future and I always new once the lawyer friend was completely ticked at Ron for making a fool of him in his mind you'd finely get help because otherwise it was never personal and Ron lied a lot and made promises to the lawyer. The lawyer started out not really havng anything against Ron but right now he gets Ron and he does not like him and when ego presses ego something is going to get ugly. Because you are sensitive Nancy--keep up a barrier as you do not want to start getting vibes as Ron panics. Keep yourself in joyful things these next few weeks and visualize saint Michael guarding above your home with a flank of his Angels guarding all corners of your property. Awareness is your power. Not getting blinsided by feelings and emotions that are not really yours--you are just the sponge. You did good so far by being neutral. If you find yourself off guard and he hits a nerve just retreat FAST. Mostly, spirit says this is a time for family for you and getting together so expect some joyful surprises family and friend wise---expect as well a counter downer energy from Ron's predicament but you know how to choose now---you have been empowered.. Any yucky feelings that come to you the next three weeks--are not FROM you! BLESSINGS!
I was going to write to you about last night when I got from work and here was your response basically telling me what I needed to know.
After I got all the paperwork together yesterday and cleaned my house top to bottom a wave of hurt washed over me and I couldn't stop crying.
I felt like why am I even alive, what is my place in this life. I am so alone.
I went so far as to look up what to do if you feel suicidal, I was so down.
It carried all the way through today, but I think I get it, it is his bad enery.
When we talked yesterday he sounded like my Ron, he made a few okes about how I go all out on birthdays and such, and it just hurt so much that he doesn't miss me.
He knows your vulnerable spots because you WERE intimate and loved wide open. Your reward will come for not shutting down your heart but continuing to love yet ALSO protecting yourself. Ron is an example of all that goes wrong when someone closes their heart---goes throught the motions of love and relationship but not really ever totaly vulnerable. He had that conversation because he IS more comfortable with the old Nancy---the giver and forgiver that loves big and crushes easily. Truth is---he will take advantage of that. You are not wrong or a fool for loving deeply---one can not truely love without knowing deep pain--they go hand in hand--it takes a strong brave heart to love. The majority of the posts running through this site are all full of anguish over love---loving another who is not wide open---relationships torn by detachment that accomodates another's safety zone. A lot of very big hearts and no big swords. Nancy, you have armed yourself with a justice sword--you turned your anger into a just anger not inward into loathing and depression despite that pull----you are not plotting harm with your anger. You are doing great. You honor yourself well and have chosen not to let Ron define your worth. The love you felt as a family--was real--it had a real energy. You are only responsable for your end. And when your sons are adults with familys you will hear them tell you that despite the "father" thing what really stuck with them was they ALWAYS knew they were loved and safe with you. They cannot see the difference now so much because it's all they know but one day they will validate their childhoods in a way Ron can not take away. Ron does not miss anyone Nancy--he closed off long ago---he has never healed the mother issue and he is also mentaly ill and never treated. He is so void of FEELING that as his life went on he had to have bigger bangs to even know he is alive. A lot like his mom! What I'm saying is when you hurt at least you can celebrate you are healthy and your heart is alive and armed with awareness you now can wether these little storms of hurt knowing they pass and much more joy is to be had and that is the price of joy and love--you cannot have true bliss without pain. Know that and it removes the fear that you are doing something wrong or being punished or somehow you are undeserving of love. You feel things BIG--it will always have two sides. Love that about yourself--you are special and there will always be people who may take advantage. Jesus was a divine example of the suffering that can often come to those who love and give with a pure heart. THAT love you felt was no waste---it has a divine energy. It will be validated. The sadness you feel is RON'S condition---the higher concesniouse of your spirit knows he is dead to love and THAT IS very much a sad sad sad loss. You will also be picking up anger and even rage from her so do not take ownership of any yucky feelings coming up--they are not yours---see the poisen arrows return to sender. Guard yourself with awareness. You have a right to grieve now and then but it is what you allow not as a victim but a healthy awareness to be real and healthy but you now CHOOSE to let emotions wash away and you move forward---even if it's a time of rest you nurture yourself----know what gives you joy and you do it. Saint Michael is with you--he has the biggest heart and the biggest sword. He will help you lift yours as needed. BLESSINGS! And thank him!
So Saturday was Drews birthday and he went out with his friends to a local club to dance and drink and celebrate. I told him as I always do to call me if he feels he can't drive, but he assured me that his girlfriend was the designated driver and they would be fine. He also told me his dad was coming over on Sunday to bring the gift I bought abnd to take hime to lunch.
I went to work and didn't call all day because I didn't want to inturupt them together.
When I got off work I called to see if he wanted me to cook dinner, because ifthey had a late lunch he wouldn't be too hungry.
He was still in bed, didn't go out with his dad and was throwing up all day. He did see Ron for a few minutes, but got sick again so Ron left.
A part of me thinks he did it on purpose, he drinks with his friends, but never so much it makes him sick. He also said Ron went out back to look at the deck and the fence and said he would be happy to fix both if I pay for the wood.
He asked Drew if all the boys would help him do that on Fathers day.
Then he went home and texted him and asked if he and his brothers would like to golf on fathers day.
Strage stuff I know.
I wanted to ask you again, is he going to regret and try to ciome home, or is that over and not gonna happen?
I predicted this "goodwill" smoke screen. Do not fall for it . Your son is already picking up that radar--he does not trust his father and rightfuly so. He will indeed regret but right now it's under the surface and he is only just now getting the reality--were as you are way on the other end---you restled with reality early on---if this was real--was it going to end--was Ron going to magicaly come back a new man. Do not encourage any contact with him--in fact tell your lawyer about this--she will tell you straight up he's greasing the pump. In your heart you have the spot he's trying to hit and get control back of the situation. He had control over the divorce for over three years--suddenly YOU have the control and he wants to spend time with his family? Fix things for you? Really? Tell him that as tempting as that offer is you have gotten along fine without him and in light of your divorce needing him for anything would be foolish and not healthy. In my first prediction of true regret--it comes AFTER the divorce--in fact you will always need the divorce to keep you empowered and keep him from ruining your life. You must have it because he is self destructive--specialy with money and will ruin you. Do not let him into your life right now. NO NO NO. His girlfriend has either left or is about to and made it clear--he better FIX this----she wants marriage---an imaginary home with a picket fence---and she is as delusional ---- any time things get too calm in her life she creates drama and is selfdestructive--she wears her life on her body and face---rough living and lots of fighting. She is disconnected and must hit herself with a board to feel alive. I know you don't get it and actually you and her represent the two sides of Ron and he has thought he would ALWAYS have both. THAT plan was only possible with permission from your big big need him heart. Now you use your head---look at his sudden kindness from your head. He is looking at a court date for a REAL divorce and now he gets nice? Tell your heart to listen to your head. These next three weeks spend time with your sons doing joyful--distracting--things. Three weeks will put you over this hump. You have to have this divorce Nancy! BLESSINGS!
3 Weeks huh? okay I can do that I hope.
Last night I had the worst attack so far though. I woke up at 2 again and couln't not get back to sleep for over 2 hours. I couldn't catch my breath and my arms and legs were so uncomfortable.
I prayed and asked for help, but let my heart feel all the fear of the future. I will try to do better next time. I realized that I am okay with less sleep and won't let it upset me so much if it happenes again.
So I was wondering if you can tell me what I should look into as far as information to bring my lawyer. I think I have everything, but don't want to leave any stones unturned.
I have bank statements, credit cards, stocks ect...
I have the emails he sent when he first left about the amount he would give me if I would sign the refinance papers and I have the letter he wrote saying he gave upm his rights to my house.
I also want to say I have been waiting for 3 years for his regret and now you tell me basically it will be because of the money, not me or my love for him ouch.
no, his regret will be real but remember that reality and feelings are two different things. Regret is a feeling and when he TRUELY gets there he still has to figure out why he did it--what went wrong --all that--and even more difficult is he will have to practice change and know how to be different. Your choice will come as you will already have changed your part in it--what got you into the situation so you can help him but actually I get the feeling you will no longer have that kind of patience and it will drain you. Spirit did not give me that prediction exactly--just that you would have a choice and most likely will be looking ahead not back and I also remember seeing another man in your life--again your choice. Please do not get drawn into that worry energy of missing something. You have all you need for court and your lawyer is very thorough and will get whatever needs getting. Her only concern is you changing your mind as that is her complaint t when she works hard and a woman's heart undoes her hard work. So be upfront with her about Ron's sudden helpful streak and make it clear to her you are not swayed and want this done. Actually, once this divorce is final your life will change and doors will open. His regret is not yet happening---that comes after the divorce--after you are really gone and after many other things--losses fill his life. He has the ability to be in denial so it is a long long road for him. Even now he is telling himself this is just a little bump and you are still under his manipulation and he's got it covered--in fact you two are opposites--you worry about everything possible and he lives in the moment and gives little thought to tomorrow. He is not accountable--he does not sit and count the days he has not seen his sons---you keep score--he never does. People who are not accountable put that burdon on others and for him to change will be a lot of work. This recent niceness from him if you ignore it will go into frustration then anger--he will blow up at you and for once you can say--I'm so glad I didn't fall for that again. How many times has that played out? He gets in your heart--you feel good--then the other Ron comes back--detached--insensitive--COLD and says something that makes you feel awful and insignificant. His regret will be real but right now it is selfish. He just wants things not to change. He was fine withe two women who each allowed him to not be accountable to choices. BLESSINGS! PS--expect a surprise from one of your sons..
Well I spent 2 hours with my lawyers today going over everything in prep for a trail.
They seem to think Ron will settle once it get close.
She did tell me that since he never replied 3 years ago, they can not ask him for discovery, we must get it from the banks ect...
So she will supeneona records from his 3 employers all the banks ect...
god I pray this is over soon, I can't take much more.
I am trying to be strong, but ouch ouch ouch.
stay strong as you have come too far. I believe he will grab at trying to avoid court as well but your lawyers will have to haggle as he will want more than they will acept but it will go fast--it has to because Ron has no leverage at all in his court. Even if he suddenly ends up in the hospital or claims loss of wages he is out of time. I say this because that is how desperate his mind will be racing for a way out.. He wil go bonkers at the thought of his records being court ordered. Try not to dwell on the divorce as being a symble of betrayal on his part but a symbol of you finally having your life in YOUR hands. Think of it as just a legal issue instead of loading ALL the feelings of loss to the word divorce. It's not the kind of death you imagine--it is a good death of a situation that did not serve you. Once the divorce is over it actually will be the first step in Ron being forced to change. He can not regret anything untill he has truelly lost it. As rediculouse as it sounds to normal people--he honestly thought, even after three years that nothing would change. He really does not want to marry her but uses the excuse of not being divorced to prevent that. She will expect marriage and is clueless to how complicated Ron truelly is---she has always seen you as the enemy when really Ron is the problem and if he truelly was in crazy love with her he'd have gotten a divorce and married her---that's what people in love do. To keep her he will have to marry her--and if he does that will be the end of that as the reality will prove all that is wrong with their relationship--without you in the equation. This will release you as well from her poisen arrows so celebrate that---this divorce has many positive meanings that can finally come to light.. He has been telling her all these years that you have been fighting the divorce not over money but because you refuse to let him go. About two months ago she gave him a deadline and he told her you were about ready to settle and it was almost over.He told her how they would be a family soon and she believed it and that's why she was by his side pretending to be a family with your sons. It's been Ron who has always prefered to keep his two lives seperate. It's part of his disfunctional thinking. You will see him turn fighting mad as he gets cornered but do not let it hurt you--expect it. When she finds out you were willing to settle long ago but he said no she is going to be so full of rage and Ron will have a lot of drama at one time. I do see you crossing paths with her----there will be a conversation directly between you two. There will be a time when her loyalty to Ron will waver under the realization of "who is this guy?" The lies will just dump all at once and she will be so desperate to know the truth she may break down and want to talk to you. If that happens keep your emotions hidden but validate her fears that it has been Ron that held the divorce back and not for money as he was better off not going to court and you were willing to accept less than the law allowed. Tell her you let go of Ron the day he chose to continue the affair and assumed he would want the divorce so he could start a new life with her. You are going to feel very sad for her and say to yourself "how could anyone be so dumb?" Her pain will be real to you--although you will not feel connected to it--just amazed at how dumb the whole situation really is between them and so greatful you got yourself free of it. I say this because you mention your ouch ouch ouch but it will pass and you will see positive change but Ron and her are just beginning to have their lives turned upside down. Also, I'm still getting strong vibes about one of your sons--something under the radar is going on---be a mother hen right now and stay close to them so you can sniff it out---one or both needs to talk something out. BLESSINGS! PS--take them shopping? have no idea what that means--just keep hearing shopping.
I got such a nice suprise today I wanted to share it with you. I have a friend at work, her name is Riss. She is an artist and reads tarot cards, and if anyone is feeling ill swhe tells them what herb to take or which stone to hold ect...
We were talking the other day and neither of us had gotten much sleep the night before due to the heat.
I told here about my 2 am wake ups and how I can't get back to sleep and all the bsd thoughts going on in my head and today she brought me 3 stones. One is a crystal to easy my mind and release worry, one is pink and it is to release hate from a broken love and the last one is blue to help me sleep and relax.
She also made me some tea mixture that I will try tonight.
So sweet, it is always a joy to know someone cares about you.
Now about your last noter to me, will they get married? I think that might kill me.
and I tried so hard to talk to her when this all started that I am sure she wouldn't dare try to speak to me ever.
I had told myself today I would take a break for a couple days but was just thinking of you and popped on to see you just left the message! I'm happy for you---the energy of nurturing yourself does bring others into your life who mirror that. I love stones and rocks. Even as a child I had rocks from everywhere. My friends bring me stones from all their travels. I have my personal power stones as well. Pink quartz is indeed for matters of the heart and love and forgiveness. I often give stones as gifts as needed. My favourites are Citrine and Lapis. My granddaughter is a stone lover and drives her dad crazy because she would always want to take a bunch home and he'd roll his eyes. I have stones in the garden and grandkids love to pick them up--calling them treasures. My father gave me a white stone that has a perfect natural wolf image howling and when you turn it over it has a paw!!! It is wonderouse. And he gave me a small rock that is shaped like a canine tooth with the top in real emerald. Stone givers are special Nancy--lucky you! And I see it true--she will talk to you. He does not want to marry her but she does--or thinks she does.. I'm seeing a negative on that--it would never last. Spirit shows me the word big in red DOOMED.Seems dramatic! But spirit reminds to always remember---she represents the wound of his mother. Following that path can only be as painful. He has brought pain on those who loved him most already--just as his mom brought him unresolved pain. I really see his mom as mentaly ill--two personalitys---the illness and the true mom who was really a very big hearted sweet woman but her illness made her a crazy rageful reckless mess sometimes. In you he saw the same big heart but he is drawn to what he resists most.. She is part of that wound in him---nothing good will come between them---the only good would be awareness--regret and the intention to change.and just to begin they would have to part forever.Enjoy your stones! BLESSINGS!
She may try talk to me, but I will not listen, I tried many times before she moved here to tell her to please step back and not do this to my kids and me.'
I told her he is having trouble right now and she would only ruin his life both emotionally and financially.
She never even responded to me.
I explained to her as a women we should have more respect for each other than to enter into someones marriage, she didn't care at all.
Yesterday was Rons Birthday, he didn't talk to any of his kids.
He also lied to me about hearing from my lawyer, she told me she wrote him an email the same day I giot one.
My sister and I will serve the supenaes nest friday, it will save me alot of money.
We will have lunch and then drive around to all his employers and bankd and credit card companies serving them with papers asking for all information.
I hope that ends it, I want this over.
Aren't you so glad when he called you didn't take the bait and rage about the divorce. He honestly didn't believe it's real and the e-mail was not the usual corospondance--it really had him puzzled. He wasn't sure what is the defense and really was hoping to feel you out
if he really had anything to worry about. You behaved perfectly! Good for you--and I think your subpenae day will be fun and you will laugh about it for years! It is almost over--but buckle up as once he gets iit--that your lawyer friend gave it over to someone who he had not already conned. He was not aware he had pi ssed off the other lawyer. There will be three weeks of crazy as he scrambles to have a next move. All the while they will be fighting. I see friday again--tommorrow? you will hear something from him again or about him. When he finds out about his finances being court ordererd THAT is when he loses it. He will feel cornered and out of control and very very angry. It will turn into fear. He may at some point threaten he has a lawyer but it will be a lie--he will onsult one or two but their advice will side with he should have settled when you were willing. He will not pay what the lawyer wants to take his case without any garantees. He is going to be absolutly paralized once he realizes it's way too late to grab the reins and you already have all your ducks in a row and it's for real. He will be so shocked you did all this and didn't tell him every detail. Stay strong and ready and avoid any arguments with him--that's were your energy goes. If he confronts you and starts pressing your buttons remove yourself. Keep your energy intact he next couple of weeks and you'll be through the s hit storm on his end. Do not get sucked in--in fact have a game plan or pact with someone that if you feel yourself getting emotionaly caught up with him that you will call someone who will talk you out of it. I think you will do fine. Again, I keep picking up on your children. Some kind of secret or surprise is coming . BLESINGS!
Well I am on vacation. no big plans except the Friday supeana delivery with my sister and then I will take her to dinner for her help.
I have been having Ron dreams every night now, they always start out very sweet and loving and end up painful., kinda like my life.
In my dreams he is always with me, but always has another.
I think maybe my heart is finally catching up with my head.
Drew spent the weekend at a campground on the beach and came home with stories about it. It is the same beach
Ron and I used to go to when we fell in love.
I look in the mirror everyday and feel good about me, but no one else seems to be looking at me. I am just a 52 year old women, who lost alot of weight and dresses like a 20 year old.
Well sometimes it doesn't hurt to turn a head with a shiny object but to truely make a perfect catch takes substance. It's a bummer the fifties--I'm about to exit mine--one more year. The fifties are both liberation--scary and mostly more work than we ever imagined! IF we are truelly growing. The fifties are for healing. We either have gotten it or not and we make sense and changes. Time slipping faster moves us to make it a priority and if we are slow life intervenes. Also, we get tired--before the fifties we are hardly aware of the energy it took to live our little lies. The fifties say--I'm tired--I can't do this anymore. And to complicate the drama our bodies go haywire with it's own big change. AND if that isn't enough our kids start their journey into adulthood--scary stuff! Suddenly we notice the hot bag boy at the grocery is calling us MAM? OH I remember feeling so old at first. In your head those young ripped deserts still look good and suddenly do not look your way. Actually, this phase Nancy does slip into another reality and cuts through the superficial stuff. It only moves you even more to grow into a powerhouse of something more substancial and your MOJO comes back. Because s exuality is real at any age. But is not something you can put on and take off--it is who you ARE.The gift of the fifties for me was liberation from being too nice. I speak up more. I say what I want. When shopping if things are not right I take it back--if my spot at the resturant is too noisy I ask to be moved. We lose some female hormones but we reap some fihting ones! Keep nurturing your inner special star Nancy--you will attract a man of character who sees with his heart! BLESSINGS! PS--I was lucky to have a best friend 35 years older who taught me how to age---she was always surrounded by young people! Always had dreams and goals and stayed away from old folks as she said all they do is complain about their aches and pains!
WEll my vacation started out slow, a couple of days of rest and hanging out with my kids and my sister. I even had lunch with all the girls in the family and then had my E over for a slumber party.
I baked some goodies and made a few great meals and then yersterday I got a bug up my butt to do something more.
I got up early and started stripping wall paper in my kitchen, I thad been there for probably 20 years and it sure didn't want to come off. I was busy with that until after 8 last night, boy did I sleep good.
So today I will finish cleaning the walls and go buy me some paint. I picked a color called monet moonlight, it is a very light pretty green and will accent with starlight.
I am scared to do this, but hey if I don't try I will never get it done.
I had a few hard moments yesterday as I realized it is just me to do all this by myself, like my life there is no one to help me.
There was this mark on the wallpaper frmo where Ron used to push his chair back too far after dinner, it was hard to take that piece down, I still miss him so much and can picture him sitting there like he did everynight.
Tommorrow Pam and I will have our supeona day, Ron knows, my lawyer sent him a letter, we haven't heard from him at all, not even on his birthday last week
We had chinese food last night and my fortune cookie said, take a chance, you will win.
You are brave! Good for you. Actualy I love doing bold changes and my husband is not good at stuff that takes patiience so I do all the house stuff. I did the same thing in my kitchen and dining area one day--the house came with wall paper with little strawberries on it--just kind of a low key blah pattern. One day I just painted over it. I know the rule is not to as there is always the chance the wet paint will relese the paper but I felt it was not going to do that and have painted over it many many times and you would never know paper was there! I hav e a small house --open plan with kitchen counter dividing into dining area and the kitchen came with a row of cabinets above the counter that I always hated because it seemed to squeeze the space of the small kitchen. Plus my house was built in the 80s so everything was that dated oak. My husband because of his bipolar hates change but I finally got him in the mood and we ripped down those cabinets and boy it made such a difference---he hates painting wood but I also painted all the oak cabinets a warm creme and I layed terricotta tiles over my old formica 80s countertop---it is a work of art and I did a mosaic backsplash and tiled the floor--I love the south west look. It gets crazy walking around the chaos as I take my time but so worth it! I eventually did my master bath--Saved money on a new sink cabinet by just keeping the old--painting it flat black--got some special order door pulls for cheap at a thrift store and did the counter top in mosaic tiles as well and matched it on the floor. I got a bargain sale on a light fixture and later found the perfect art work at a yard sale. Nancy--this is MY bliss. Not only do I get to be artful and crafty but it lifts my mood to be surrounded by MY achievment so you are so on the right track. I tell people many times that it will change your energy if you only surround yourself with love and joy. Always get rid of anything with a sad feeling attached. or bad memory. AND it is Friday tomorrow---I still get a Friday surprise that is not all about your serving papers but is connected to Ron. He's quiet now because he's scrambling to know where he really stands--I am getting he had a lawyer meeting yesterday.I know you are actualy very crafty so continue to be bold and brave. Love your home and it will always love you back! BLESSINGS!
Well no Friday surprises from Ron, but on Thursday my lawyer called and told me all the supena could be sent by fax or mail except the 2 in the city she works and she would be glad to do those for me.
She had called the legal department for all the companies and they told her it doesn't need to be in person for the info she needs.
So Pam and I took E.J. to the county fair and walked aroun, spent some money ate snowcones and enjoyed ourselves.
My kitchen ended up being alot more work then I thought and it took another whole day to get the glue off the walls. I went to my neighborhood hardware store and they didn't carry the brand of paint I had seen, so instead I got lime sorbet for the walls and sugar cookie for the trim. I figured since it was my kitchen that was perfect.
Iworked hard all day and Drew and his girlfrind helped after lunch and we finally finished tonight. It looks great, but boy am I tired
Maybe something Monday? Postmarked friday? We'll see! I love shades of lime---I always have a wall somewhere that color. All my life come to think of it. Projects always turn out to be more than you anticipated and there's the dominoe effect as you change one room it starts wanting you to change more and I always start switichng out things from one room to another and get even bigger ideas! But in the end I get great joy putting myself into my home--like giving yourself a big hug. And others find that inviting. People always tell me when they come to my house it feels good. I bet yours does too. BLESSINGS!