Please Please help Me!

  • I would appreciate a reading/a look into the future. Im living with my mom,sister and my boyfriend,and a few other people. Anyway, my mom and boyfriend had a big argument tonight. Both parties think that they are being disrespected and that they are right. My mom told him to get out of her house. Before tonight my mom was already disliking him,but this was the final straw. They each want me to defend them,but i dont want to be caught in middle of the 2 people I love the most. Can someone tell me whats going to happen in future? How will this effect our relationship?what can I do to help this situation? I feel so devestated that this is happening to me. I love both of them so much,and im scared.

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  • You need to tell your boyfriend to MAN UP and apologize. He does not like to be told what to do but if you want to help he must see beyound the emotions--both mom and your mate are pot boilers and need space--the living conditions are testing boundries. If your mate would put aside the small stuff and swallow his ego and emotions and just apologize BECAUSE he is lucky to have a home then mom would find something to respect in him. Otherwise in her mind he is immature--and ungrateful. Despite her temper she is wiser. I believe once they cool off this will blow over but unless your man can control his boiling point and learn to see from her perspective. Your mom does see from his--and knows he's just immature so she figures let him try living on his own THEN HE'LL GET IT. And once he cools off you can persuade him to see how lucky he is. YOU need to step away from the flame. When the pot gets full it will boil over and that many people in one hows will challange boundries. Your man needs to respect moms generousaty--she does not have to give him a home and he needs to be man enought to get that or make his own way and take care of you. You wanted a prediction---it will blow over but will resurface and you will learn how to stand your own boundries. You are not siding ---when you acknowledge the truth. Thank your mother for putting up with this drama. IT IS HER HOUSE.. I think you are already seeing the flames die down as I write this. BLESSINGS!

  • thank-you for your insight. what had happened was my man was complaining about my sister using my car and not putting gas into it. which she normally does. but we only had enough gas 4 him and i to get to work/school. thats what upset my mom. she feels we shouldnt complain since we are contributing as much as we should be. he just became a truck driver and this job doesnt give enough loads. and im looking for a new job in homecare cause my last client past away. my boyfriend doesnt like my sister using my car,cause she drives it rough. my mom feels he shouldnt have any say on what i do with my car. but he doesnt want to see anything bad happen to it. Could you please do a reading on me to see what is in store for me?

  • thank you for your input. both my mom and boyfriend feel like they are being mistreated by the other. so no one will be apologizing to anyone. My man feels like he isnt being heard,and that he is misunderstood. for example, my boyfriend doesnt like my sister driving my car, he noticed that she drives it roughly,and he afraid it will break down as a result,since its old,and probably on its last leg. but my mom says it none of his business who i allow to drive it. my sister used up gas in the car we needed til payday,which she normally puts gas in,just not this time. My mom overheard him complaining about this and went off on him. she says cause she supporting us(we are unable to cover our expenses at this time) that we dont have right to complain. but my man was upset that she didnt leave enough gas to get through the week. My sister has a learning disability,you would never know it if you met her,but intelligence,behavior, and mentality is way behind. My boyfriend doesnt like her attitude(which is a big one!!!) my mom defends her all the time and it infuriates my man.Cause my mom and I sometimes into arguments,she feels i disrepect her,but i dont mean to. i just need to think before i speak. so my b.friend sees my mom treat me differently then my sister. anyway both parties feel like they are the victims,and my sister hates me and my boyfriend. you said this will blow over? do you predict him having to move asap? UGH! I hate being caught in the middle of this, I feel like Im the victim here! and they both want me to defend them,but how can i possibly be on both sides of the fence at the same time?

  • It is hard to read you with so much emotion around you. I know it will let up because the argument was a tension rising and a release. Everyone is going through something different--your would be a long reading and I'm resting.. Regardless of right or wrong --the reason your man should apologize is because he is living in some one elses home and has to respect that. In other words mom does not have to burdon her life and she has her own stress. Sometimes people have to be put in an angry state or fed up state to motivate them. Also--there is going to be a power struggle under moms roof as in her mind you are her daughter and hard to see as a seperate grown up and your man sees you as attached to him and he sees himself as your priority--so this is going to continue have you feeling torn because that is reality--it is what it is. I know you want a roadmap but with guidance spirit expects you to lern something and grow to a new level. Your journey is about independance, self-reliance and empowerment. Your mom is working on boundrie issues and your man tests that. Your mom also is a silent worrier--gets fearful. She bottles up and is unpredictable about blowing up and when she does it's often a bunch of stuff piled up so it's big. Your man is impatient--and anxiouse----but can also get depressed for periods because he just burns out. You often wish--he would just chill. You can learn a lot about yourself the next 3 months. You really are very smart. Spirit says you tend to learn the hard way. I see a positive outcome by september. Best advice is to keep your emotions under controll so you can see with your head and learn. Your sister and mother have a strong karma together that you should not try to get in the middle of---they will always be like that. People who are tied together like that are hard to understand by others. Let go of ever figuring it out and don't get between them--you will always lose. If you stay calm you can see clarity. Blessings!.

  • thank-you for your help. that message shouldve been comforting but it was no help right now. actually things are getting worse! my mom wants him out asap! She is furious with me. she says im taking his side cause i didnt defend her and jess whenever he was being rude or mean. she says she is sickened that i allowed him to do that, and that i shouldve dumped him/kicked him a long time ago

  • i dont know what to do, I love my mom and my boyfriend but if i stay with him my mom wont 4give me. i dont want to choose, but i cant have both of them

  • Speaking as a will always have her till her end. She is the elder and "should" be able to distance herself, unless of course she's witnessing some kind of abuse. You will make your mistakes in life, all children do. But if he is rude or mean or sickening why do you choose to stay w/ him? Do you see what she see? Or is she projecting? I know I could not have my daughter in harms way. If he does not apologize and shift into the knowledge that it's not his house anytime soon I'd agree w/ mom. But if he genuinely understands his mistakes and humbles himself is willing to learn maybe you can give him a wee chance. But if he continues to disrupt the household he needs to go. The rest of the house need their refuge also which he is interrupting.

  • I personally dont have a problem with him. but my family hates him. he has cocky/sarcastic personality. and my family feels he disrepected them once too many times. He cant understand why my mom is hurt/angry. he feels like the victim and that my family misunderstands him.

  • He is either able to take care of you or not----at least himself. You ask a lot from your mom---she does not owe a grown man a home and if he were smart and mature he'd except the price of living under her roof and just keep working towards independance. If he loves you he will be there and not let this come between you. He should get another place to live and you two can date while you work on your own foundation towards independance. YOU will be fine. Your mom is only taking him in to protect you and at least keep you close. She honestly has a lot on her plate and as I said has a lot of worries you do not know as you are in your own drama and also you just are too young to get it yet. So is he. Why do you feel like he has to live with you? I could say something just to make you feel better but I can not lie to you--you ask for clarity. I do see you being fine. Goods things do not always come in a calm way---sometimes a storm clears the way for change. And right now something needs to change. On the positive side he has an oportunity to get out there and prove them wrong and become self sufficiant. BLESSINGS!

  • Thank-you for your comforting words,cause i really need them right about now! We definately agree with the idea that we as adults need to take care of responsibilities and not count on anyone to support us. but right now thats the least of our problems! everything was fine in this house w/all of us over the winter. But my boyfriend grew sick and tired of my sisters cocky attitude and mouth. i told them that if they had a problem w/my sis, then they should go to my mom,not confront or retaliate at my sister,cause that will be stepping on toes. my man and his friend said they tried telling my mom but she wouldnt listen,that my sister wouldnt stop. but picking fights with my sister and bitching about her all the time is only going to make my mom defensive of her and cause resentment. this caused a snowball effect leading my man to no longer respect my mom either. and things just went downhill from there. So now my family thinks he is just an ungrateful,evil SOB. and that im just as bad for not dumping a long time ago, and the fact that im still with him means i dont care what my family feels. I dont know what to do! my family wants them out now! but she will give them few days to find a place. my mom told me that our rommate(one of her friends) told her that one of us(me,my man,or his friend) told him that my mom talks bad about him behind his back! which she has complained about her friend before because she has her own issues with her live-in friend. so i dont what had happened there and whose guilty of what. i know my sister is saying alot of things that my b.friend supposedly said/did but she has lied before, she could be telling truth or not. she hates him so much now, who knows what to believe anymore!!!?? All i know is my mom right now is believing anything bad said about my boyfriend. What a disaster! im so lost/devasted. my family will never forgive me if i stay with him. they feel im a traitor. who cares more about a piece of *ss more then my own family! but thats not true. I love my family and my boyfriend, and i dont want to choose one or the other. i know im being selfish but i want both! you are saying that ill be ok, but how? how can this be fixed when both parties feel that they have been wronged?

  • My boyfriend sent my mom a text message saying he was sorry for any pain he caused her, she didnt respond though, so I dont know what will happen. If she hates him that much, I dont know how Ill be able to keep him??

  • Your mom WILL cool off--give her time. As for the rest of the drama---it's only because you are stuck between being a dependent daughter and a independant woman. Families everywhere exhist with drama and hating certein family members but all get along because they can "go home". Every family deals with a loved one who picks a mate that irritates another--it's not abnormal---the saving grace is DISTANCE. Unfortunetly, in your case you are all in the same house! Your mom is dealing with a lot of fears. She fears your sister will never be able to live without her and now she fears for you---she holds in and boils then it all boils over--your man is actually like that as well and you don't even notice the actraction. Stop feeding into the drama and let it die out on it's own----you do have a life? Work? School? Your challange is to not react and if your mom sees you focusing on your life positively her fears will die down--right now she fears this imature stubborn charmer will somehow ruin your life--interupt your goals. Action speaks louder than wpords or fears. Stop getting into arguments--it will never end and you cannot control others thoughts. The fire can not continue if no one feeds it so start letting go of needing to defend or change minds. Put your energy into something positive. And your last line says a lot----you should never feel like you have to do anything to keep him. You give your power away. You are who you are and he either is in love or not. BLESSINGS!

  • Thank you for your response, it was comforting. In the last line when i said I was worried about being able to keep my man, I had meant that if my mom hates him so much and is disgusted with me being with him, that I would have no choice but to break up with my boyfriend whether or not i want to. but U feel she will forgive him? is she still going to make him move asap? he really isnt ready to move, he needed some time, but I dont know whats going to happen.

  • Hi there, well my boyfriend sent an apology text message to my mom, but she told one of our roommates, that too much damage has been done. so I dont know if my mom will ever accept him. He found a place to rent that isnt far from us and he moving by the 1st of next month. Im worried how my mom will react to me staying with him after he is gone. Will she give me a hard time? will she make me choose? How will this move affect my relationship with my man?? will our r.ship become stronger or destroy us? What do you think? Im trying so hard to stay optimistic but there is so much yet to be seen

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