Blmoon - Hello from Watergirl


  • Oh Blmoon...

    So looking forward to the guidance from Lee's September forecast. I believe I will be separating from my current job this week. It's sad in that it had such potential and there are some really great people there. The good part is I will be relieved to stop trying to make it work amidst all that bad energy. I was called in at 6pm Saturday night (my day off) to be told that I just wasn't fitting in to "the culture" there. It's kind of ironic as some of the things they were saying were soooooo not true about me, but dead on about someone else in the office. I'm trying really hard to just focus on the relief of no longer having to go into the Stepford Wives on Crack building and trusting that something better will appear. I only wish the something better had appeared FIRST. The other blessing is that I will have 3 months severance. They are trying to get me to quit, but I'm not an IDIOT! So I will tell them I'm not quiting on Tuesday and then I'm quite certain I will be showed the door. Oh, if only my year off had given me some clarity on what I REALLY want to do. This 6 month blip on my resume is going to make things tough on me after my year off....relying on the Universe to help with that.

    Here's to August being OVER and some new energy sweeping in this month πŸ™‚

  • This is a blessing really and blanks in a work record these days are not unusual! They are the norm. Sometimes we get closer to what we do want by suffering through what we don't--there is a clarity at the end of rejections that are doing you a favour! Keep on keepin it REAL!


  • Thank you! You know, I am actually feeling quite good today. Although I did not "crumble" on Saturday, I did hold a few things back so I will be "speaking my truth" as they say tomorrow. Nothing in anger -- just my view of things, my perspective, spoken from a place of dignity and grace. At this point, what does it matter, right??? πŸ™‚ I submitted my resume to a place today and have received the intuitive guidance to submit it with a head hunter today as well. I do see the blessing in this as I think the constant battle to clear my energy was keeping me from manifesting what I truly want. I do feel much lighter and more free today and have a positive outlook on the future. Of course, I still have a good grasp on what needs to be done practically πŸ™‚ My mantra is "onward and upward!" and my affirmation is "the job that perfectly suits my physical, emotional and spiritual needs is coming to me NOW."

  • Hello again - September forecast from Lee Harris...YAY!!!

    And I'm still employed. Not sure if it's a good or bad thing though (lol). I stood up to them and they backed off, but they are still being judgmental a-holes. So I have been thinking about it and just cannot get clear on if the lesson was (a) setting my boundaries and not absorbing their judgment of me; staying centered and calm amidst the chaos; or (b) that I need to get my butt out of there because it just isn't a vibrational match.

    Anyway, Lee's forecast was very helpful as always! Here it is...

  • I have come to the conclusion that the answer is BOTH (a) and (b).

    The people that I have become friends with -- I can remain friends with them wherever I go. I firmly believe that I no longer belong there and am looking for a new job. It feels like it is going to take several months and they will be tough ones. It's almost like I am gearing up for warfare...

    After some thought I have realized that this is really just about money. A few other people have "resigned" recently, which is what they wanted me to do. And, several weeks ago they started talking about renovations which of course takes a lot of cash. The first place people go to cut costs is payroll. Since I refused to resign they are now making my life as miserable as they can. I will need to focus all my efforts on staying centered and not absorbing their toxic energy. So I will continue with the new job search and until it comes, focus on the good things in my current situation.

    #1 good thing - the friends I have made

    #2 good thing - I still have a paycheck

    #3 good thing - the weather is starting to cool off and I can go outside to a nearby shopping district for lunch and enjoy my surroundings

    #4 good thing - all this chaos has made me realize that this place is NOT what I want.

    By all indications, this is going to be a difficult week. Say a prayer for me!

  • I just now listened to his forcast! Because just this morning I sat feeling very cr appy thinking what a frekin all over the place month! What the h ell universe! And boy he nailed it EXACTLY! Right down to the tiring running out of time dreams--I said this morning I'm sick of these going nowhere dreams--busy dreams where nothing happens. I'm an excellent dream reader but this month my dreams are hard to understand. And like he said energy levels are so all over the place--usually I know exactly why I'm tired or reved up but september has been so up in the air. Like you I had another job blowup and again had such urges to quit which is not financialy sound at all. I had this overwhelming feeling of having my boundries crossed like he said. And I told off my boss thinking ok guess I'm fired but no. I took a cooling off break and she understood that I just can't right now take one more needy person under my wing! AND more than ever I keep hearing this phrase "I CAN CHOOSE" everytime someone angers me or worries me. I feel like I so must create my own peace--that peace is everything right now. And the money thing? I want it solved. In fact underneath all this inertia I so desire solving every problem I ever had that still shows up. Which really goes against the law of the wheel of life as without up and down nothing moves. Hope your sept is going better! I cringed when he said the next few months would be more of the same. CRAP! My cards are pushing me to nurture myself so I guess the outside chaos needs to be tuned out. And you are right about your job thing---companys hate paying out to lay offs. I do get that not everyone agrees and you have someone rooting for you but bottom line is they have no power to change anything really. What I see is a big paper pusher in your company--someone who is very emotionaly isolated and figures all moves on paper with little connection to others. Ideas that leave out the human element and leaves no room for divine surprise--this person is overly analytical and too busy dotting all thir i"s and crossing their t"s. Such wasted energy! Good luck to us both!! BLESSINGS!

  • Hi Blmoon,

    Yes, September has been quite a month! Like you, I have just been focusing on my own personal center and allowing the chaos to whirl around me without getting sucked into the drama. Hard work!!! Doing my best to keep my energy up and positive, but am not always successful πŸ™‚ Trying really hard to just focus on the NEW job that will be more of what I want and need. Patience is needed and not one of my strong suits (heehee). You are right about the paper-pusher who has little emotional connection to the HUMANS involved. That relates to our VP/GM (male) who I had the initial meeting with, however it also relates to my female boss -- she has little emotions/feelings AT ALL (soooo closed off) and literally just goes with whatever the "company" says or wants. What's humorous is her management style is to try to motivate people by telling them how inadequate they are - as if that will light a fire under them - and this month her husband asked her for a divorce. So now she is the one being told she is inadequate and she does not like it at all! Karma....

    October forecast should be out this week πŸ™‚

    Hang in there!

  • Oh, by the way, that feeling of wanting to resolve issues once and for all? I have been getting that too. Feels like so much old karma is being forced to the surface - everywhere I look! Like lifetimes and lifetimes of karmic "gunk" is being released. I think that's why there is so much chaos around us and the energy has been so icky - like wading through molasses.

  • Thank God for the moon in Taurus today! OCT ended with a bang I decided to get out a large manuscrip last minute--as if my dreams came true only I did not miss the deadline. You are so right--Oct. was a last minute replay of my prominate stumbling blocks. As I worked on my manuscript I became so aware how I could do key things differently---I mostly was aware that when I am most most intensly engaged in the reality of the physical world--the reality of a manuscript and perfection and self doubt that it is then I tend to miss the help available from spirit. There is always that self doubt of is this the one to go after or am I just spinning wheels. You know! Instead of counting every second of the clock ticking I did the absurd thing and took very mindless breaks--some where my idea others came at me and at first I was angry only to realize there was a intervention going on. I had several spirit visits and I let go a lot and trusted . First spent one night deciding--can I do this because in reality buy this is not enought time--then I would go back to past times I did amazing things against all odds of reality. Then I just chilled and prayed for signs. I was too close for the cards I thought because they kept saying oposite of my thoughts--but they were right! After praying for a sign--next morning I find in my yard that the big ceramic planter that was made by my spiritual mother who passed at 91 three years ago---it was made Indian style with holes on rim where leather was threaded and at each end of leather she made a ceramic ball. Holy, hello, the big pot was tipped and two balls were laying together on the ground and the end of each leather tie looked neatly cut! Suddenly I heard her voice clearly say--Get your balls on girl! THEN I started getting organized and trying to calm down about what to do first as I had so much to search through for files etc. Then again this urge to chill came and I suddenly heard lets do it different this time and a voice said what part tresses you most--and I went through every past time and saw a pattern--I catch myself looking at the clock and feeling the weight of the last step--labeling the big envolope--the required info pages etc. Well this time I did that first! OH my it lifted a weight as I did the creative choosing and work knowing that last yucky part was already done. I prayed that spirit would help me help myself and to not let me get in my own way and to not let me sabotage myself. I have had successes and failures and I was aware that some of my failures were self inflicted--that there was a fear in the shadows. So, as crazy as October was with it's energy I think I turned it around in my favour! OH anothe divine sign---The moment I said ok lets do this WITH BALLS. I sat at the computer and began and my cellphone dinged loud. I'm like what is that? So I look and there's a page open for the stop watch which I never use and it said START! I'm psychic but even that freaked me a bit--specialy after finding the balls in front walk! Whenever deciding a manuscript the biggest issue I have is choosing the tone of the collection---which poems to put together--the dominating voice. Being that naked in public the artist tends to want to tone down at the last minute but it really was a relief to decide right off---this collection has balls!!! I mostly chose this submission call because the judge is a poet I so admire and his voice is a lot like mine. I know if he gets to see it he will love it---it's getting past the first editors choic as get thousands and only saddle the judge with a small batch. And, I ended up having to short change my job--but I told them the truth and wil go in later to pick up that slacK. Thank God my job is not all who I am! My oct. mucky muck made me see that I MUST keep my job smaller in my consiouseness. BLESSINGS! If you are feeling the need for more than your job I wouldn't be surprised!----so much of who you are is being wasted. With your permission. That's the message of oct I kept getting--I CAN CHOOSE! And its time to look really look at our past patterns as the tide is turning right now in our favour if we can step back from the chaos and hear the guidance--it really is strong now. So is drama---but I can choose!

  • I meant Sept ended with a bang!!! Unless its prophetic!

  • Hi! I read your post, but realized I am so pressed for time that I did not take the time to digest it properly so I will come back later to read/comment. Just wanted to give you the October forecast...the broken trust part at the end (broken trust of self for what I have manifested) really rang true. Once again, he is spot on and oh so calming and reassuring.

  • Hello Blmoon,

    WOW - reading about your September exhausted me πŸ™‚ Congrats on getting the manuscript completed and for working through your issues by doing it differently. I really think that is the big lesson for all of us right now. I did handle my work situation differently, but I don't get the sense of completion like sticking a stamp on something and sending it off in the mail (sigh)!

    So much of who I am is being wasted. Yes, you are right. I feel this - I just don't know exactly what is being wasted or exactly what to do about it. I feel like maybe the vocation I have chosen is just fine for me, but the location has to change. Still looking and feeling like something might be brewing for me although as yet it is unseen.

    The work situation has shifted a bit in a few ways. First, the drama the past few weeks has been between some other people and my role has been to "speak my truth" in a way that supports the person who is being "wronged" to stand up for herself. She has done a great job with it. The other person - I hope - is learning a huge life-long lesson about selfishness, greediness and "do unto others."

    Second, my bosses are treating me much differently. My immediate boss - the one who is completely closed off from feelings and going through a divorce - is trying to be nice. Unfortunately, her motives are not pure so I still keep her at arms length and do not fall for it. And now, the two top dogs of the resort - the ones I had my initial meeting with who basically told me to decide whether or not I wanted to work somewhere I wasn't wanted - are suddenly going out of their way to be nice to me. It's confusing me because it partly feels genuine, but then again I have no trust in them so am not sure how to take it. We had an evening function Saturday for a bunch of clients we flew in and they both purposely walked up to me to say hello, thank me for being there and even "chat" for a bit. I don't get it! The number 1 guy - I am starting to sense his personal issues and am almost feeling sorry for him. The other guy is just a follower and a bit like a kid with ADD. It's all just a little weird and my intuition just does not feel strong these days.

    Anyway, today I am exhausted from all the weekend and evening functions I had to do and there are several more throughout the week. Then I leave for another business trip Saturday morning. I am also feeling depressed and a bit lonely today, but am aware that the exhaustion probably has a lot to do with it.

    Hope you are doing well and enjoyed the October forecast...



    Grew up in a small town

    And when the rain would fall down

    I'd just stare out my window

    Dreaming of what could be

    And if I'd end up happy

    I would pray

    Trying hard to reach out

    But when I'd try to speak out

    Felt like no one could hear me

    Wanted to belong here

    But something felt so wrong here

    So I pray

    I could breakaway

    I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

    I'll do what it takes β€˜til I touch the sky

    And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change

    And breakaway

    Out of the darkness and into the sun

    But I won't forget all the ones that I loved

    I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change

    And breakaway

    Wanna feel the warm breeze

    Sleep under a palm tree

    Feel the rush of the ocean

    Get onboard a fast train

    Travel on a jet plane, far away

    And breakaway

    I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

    I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky

    And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change

    And breakaway

    Out of the darkness and into the sun

    I won't forget all the ones that I loved

    I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change

    And breakaway

    Buildings with a hundred floors

    Swinging 'round revolving doors

    Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but

    Gotta keep moving on, moving on

    Fly away, breakaway

    I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

    Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye

    I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change

    And breakaway

    Out of the darkness and into the sun

    But I won't forget the place I come from

    I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change

    And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

  • AMEN!!!

  • I'm so exhausted Blmoon. Yes, i am on my third week without a day off, working nights as well as days, and currently on the road, but it feels like more than that. I do my best to keep a positive outlook about the future and to find joy where i can in the present, but can't help falling back into the "where is the upside of the wheel?" mindset. I need something good to happen to give me fresh hope. It feels as though Spirit has been dangling a carrot in front of me for over two years and i feel like Charlie Brown lying on his back after foolishly trusting Lucy with the football again. Yes, I know, patience, divine timing, etc. But seriously, how long does it take? We work so hard at releasing - where are the people/situations/etc that are supposed to replace what we have released? All I can feel right now is the void. What am I supposed to do to change this?

  • Sounds like the wheel is running over you! And today is a hot mess kind of day in the sky I read the plants and the scorpio moon are really boiling the pot so drama alert. The sagitariouse moon later today is supposed to lighten us up. WATERGIRL your first line of your post says it all. Exhaustion is the hot mes you are trapped in right now. You know how exhaustion cuts us off from our gift. You focus on the war but underestimate the cost of all the little battles. You are a good soldiar. But in the end THAT translates into "just a body". You've lost touch with your intention. Unless this energy into this job is FAIR and you have a payoff that is equal to the input you must pull back and draw new boundries. There is a risk factor--your job security. But to pretend there is not another big risk factor will only keep repeating the LUCY kick. Yes you feel a repeat effect going on. You have drawn a line in the sand before and here you are again. You are giving too much for some one elses dream. Find your way back to that crossed line. This job position is not in alighnment with your own dreams and purpose. Universaly right now we are all being pushed pulled and reminded of our life purpose. You have become a strong body in the fight for anothers purpose. You would be getting fed more back if that were not true. Once exhaustion sets in it is really diffucult to see or hear clarity. You know your own advice on this one. You must take an isolated break or life will do it for you and it will be a doozy if you let life decide. Your loyalty must be to your self right now. Trust in that. Your gift for leadership has a fear of the unknown. You keep searching for the perfect leader to allow you to lead but it fails again and again. You are more suited to be the leader of your own buisness. And this is a tough one right now. After you rest and if you do not you will get sick or the car will break down--you'll lose your purse etc---something will stop you because really you lost the wheel--you are just flying INSIDE anothers fast train. Once you get clarity you will be able to see where you should have said no or took control spoke up on behalf of your own needs. Once you regain clarity you need to carve out a space in your life path towards your own buisness. Make it real even if it is just a little seed at first. When we feel most like spirit has let us down--it usually means WE have betrayed ourselves. You give too much. That is your nature. Not a bad thing but requires diligent monitoring of were energy goes. You HAVE to get something back or your giving outside your own dream. You are being a body without an identity. You are in a job not a dream. Figure how to do a good job but save enough to feed your soul not just your bills. We are all struggling on this same universal path of priorities. From politics to global economics--this is the tipping point. Soul wealth versus earthly greed. Everythings coming due right now. People are feeling the push to choose and fortify intention. That's your word to past on your mirror. INTENTION. blessings!

  • I am back home and finally had a weekend off so at least I have rested up a bit. The job is not fair - you are right, but it is never going to be this much is painfully clear to me. Since the big blow-up on August 31st my intention has been to do the best I can to lay low and avoid the radar until I find another job. I had no choice in my schedule the past three weeks. We had clients fly in from all over and all of us were required to do our part. Unfortunately, my business trip out of town had been planned before I found out about all of the stuff going on in the two weeks prior. Had I known, I never would have scheduled it. One person lied to get out of all of the evening and weekend events, but that just made it all the harder on the rest of us - I would never do that to my co-workers. You are right, though. In the past I have taken on too much and done so willingly and of my own accord. And I have evolved from looking for the perfect leader, to looking for the perfect job, to now just wanting something that will allow me to have some peace. I would love to be my own boss, but I had a year of unemployment for the inspiration of what that would be to come into my consciousness and it did not. Unfortunately, I am just not one of those people who has one of those "I have always wanted to..." statements or even someone with a talent or interest of some sort that could be turned into a business. Soooo, I am left with working for others. I am just tired - not only because of my schedule this month, but because in the midst of all of it I am looking for something else and nothing else seems to be coming along. It is extremely difficult to not feel like the Universe has abandoned me yet again. My intention is there, but I have a hard time with detachment. There is a fine line between resigning yourself to what is and accepting what is while remaining hopeful about a better future. At the moment I am in resignation mode.

  • I'm having similiar feelings and like you go up and down with the job thing--I feel the weight pressing past my boundries--step away--detach more and make the same resolve--it's just a job, it's just a job. But that is really a betrayal to who I am and it is very difficult to invest in "just a job". I just came out of resignation mode and suddenly I'm in a defiant do something about it mode. In the last three weeks I've pulled the not valuing myself card--ouch! But so true. I'm in survival mode but in a different direction--I have to be investing more in myself right now. I've always been more self enployed but this last big resession has really limitted that but I'm going to follow my own advice and start making side money. I need to get back to that as it is really important to be creatively self sufficiant and not so invested in someone elses dream. I can't wait to hear the NOV. prediction! November is usually a positive month for me. October is usually very intuitive and lots of spirit activity and meaningful dreams. My dreams keep reflecting my busy life of responsability--in my dreams I am in the past and present--and mostly keeping watch and solving problems. I wake up tired! I have started praying for vacation dreams!. But I do understand what I need to do. What you described about--not getting the whole story! I hate that! I just got myself out of one of those---a writer friend invited me to join something that sounded great and I was seduced by my recent craving for more creative ventures. And then I pulled that dreaded not getting the whole story card! Scratching my head cos hadn't a clue and I am psychic. Sure enough though my gift kicked in and I got more info from my friend and it hit me that he purposely stacked that deck and THEN gave me the info I felt if I had known I would never had agreed. Well after a few days of thinking how do I back out graceously--fake sick? tell a lie but just decided to be who I am and tell him the truth. But really I so hate when I miss stuff but really if another intentialy puts out a block on info that energy is real and does hide. Anyway onward to November--I started pulling something wonderful coming cards! Woohoo!! BLESSINGS! I think you'll get your energy back and resignation will not last--kick a ss will take over.