Hello everyone....need some insights please!
Hi all, I hope maybe some of the readers, psychics or anyone else out there can give me some guidance. I thought I was doing so well with my break up from ex bf (broke up a year and a half ago!) but all the feelings of betrayal and hurt have been rushing back the last week or so. I can't sleep because of dreams about him and though I have been so ready and willing to move on, i just can't seem to get past the hurt and anger. I moved across country for him 4 years ago after seeing him LD on and off for 17 years. Early 2010 he was exposed for the liar he is....he was living a double life with me and his wife. I really believed he loved me...all his actions and the way he treated me seemed to back that up. We always talked about how connected we were, how our love was so rare....to find out it was all a lie is so devastating. When this all came out, he went back to his wife, supposedly to mend things....now I hear he is seeing other women again and it has brought it all back up for me....he so easily replaced me....all my pain means nothing to him. I meditate daily to anger releasing meditations, I have tried to let it go, thought I had done a good job!! I am stuck across country from my family, lost my job, have no means to move back....I feel he totally abandoned me. When this happened he promised to pay for me to move back home, but he didn't come through....now I am in a dire situation. (I lost my job 3 months ago)
I have applied for jobs daily, can't afford the rent anymore, have gone through all my savings....and the anger and feelings of hurt and betrayal are just weighing me down....especially when i am awakened by these dreams of him. (tonight it was me raging at him and him acting totally indifferent!) Why cant I seem to get past this, no matter how hard I try? I have tried to release it all to the universe and let my angels guide me, but i feel I am just stagnate at this point.
Thanks for listening and any help anyone can offer:)
Many blessings to you all
Because he just dumped you, you never got proper closure - you need to say all the things to this guy that you have bottled up inside. Write or email him, letting it all out. When you are 'empty' of negativity, you can move on.
That is funny you said that....since it all came back up a couple of weeks ago, I have emailed him once and written him three letters and mailed them. How do I know if he is reading them? I am facing some really hard life changing decisions now Captain, moving back across country where my family is, finding a job (I lost my beloved job 3 months ago on top of everything else)....can you give me any insight on what you see for me? My finances are really dire. I also am really so ready to find a great relationship...someone I can trust and grow old with, do you see that ever happening?
Thank you and many blessings,
Have you actually sat down and thought how you want the rest of your life to be - career-wise, romantically etc? Can you visualise the sort of partner and job you want? You need to have it fixed in your mind so the universe knows what to send you. You actually feel a bit off centre and scattered right now due to the turbulent emoitons that this guy stirred up in you. Your life won't settle until you have calmed down and released your negativity. Can you speak to this man on the phone so as to make sure he gets your message?
I have not been successful for 18 months in getting him to speak to me on the phone, by email or face to face. He is a coward when faced with his wrongdoings...he runs and avoids, leaving me to deal without any closure or answers. That is what I think that disturbing dream was about last night....me trying to get answers from him for my own peace of mind and him acting totally indifferent....it was so awful...I woke up crying.
I thought my life was going along pretty well....I seemed to be ready to move on relationship wise and know what kind of job I want...I even have gotten certified in yoga and also reiki during this down time. I realize my life has been smashed by a steamroller but I thought the answers to my path would be a bit clearer....I meditate daily, I ask my guides, I pray, I trust. Now, this afternoon, my landlord tells me she wants me to move since the rent has been a week or two late the last couple of months (due to my job loss) I don't know where to go or where I should go!! I don't know if I should look at it as a nudge out of here or just more bad luck!
Thanks for any guidance Captain....if you can think of anymore I can or should be doing, I am open to all suggestions! You are right, I do feel scattered...I have been working really hard at releasing the anger and negativity...any other suggestions to do this though?
Yes I believe the universe is 'nudging' you to move on both literally and emotionally. You need a fresh start, a new life so you can put the old one behind you.
Have you checked out all the government benefits, allowances, and unemployment handouts that might be available to you? Ther eis always someone who can help you if you ask. I don't know if anything like this exists where you are, but here in Australia the government will pay to to relocate for work.
Yes, I am getting benefits, just can't seem to find another job. I moved here 4 years ago for a the guy, based on what turned out to be a bunch of lies. I gave up everything back home...my home and business and pretty much have nothing left. I felt then that I was being nudged towards this decision, so I am now reluctant to follow what I feel the universe is telling me, I don't trust my judgement anymore. Maybe that is why I can't make any decisions. I feel pretty hopeless at this point, I am too old to have to start over like this.
You are never too old for anything, especially learning. Accept that you had a good lesson in love that will help you find a better relationship. All experience helps us grow.
What do you want to do now with your life?