Cancer Boyfriend Is Rude And Disrespectful. HELP



  • Hi. So I am 20 and I am an Aries. My boyfriend is 22 and he is a Cancer. We started dating in 06, 3 years ago. Even since we have been together he has been nothing but disrespectful and rude to me. I kinda figured that he is just really insecure and jealous but I was willing to deal with it. Now that we are getting older I am getting sick of it! He calls me names all the time for doing NOTHING at all. For example, I went to visit my friend last night that came into town, I told my boyfriend what I was going to do and his immediate response was, " What are you gonna go fuck some guys you slut." It makes my brain hurt literally because he will say this anytime at all I wanna hang out with my friends. He also lives with me and my family, I can't kick him out because he has no where to go. What do I need to do to get him to calm down and stop being so insecure and to get him to stop treating me like crap?! HELP Please!



  • I feel Sad for you Wow this does not sound like the compassionate Cancer~~Well I'm a bit surprised Wow

    His outburst & cussing is deff/ out of line & un-called for ~ where is the LOVE Man... ????

    BTW ~ You can kick him to the curb~ he's a guy he ain't a Wimp Pussy,

    ~ & there are places where he could spend the night alone & cold ~~ one option ~ THE DOG HOUSE ~ LOL ~~ the other a stinky filthy motel or even his Buddies

    ~~ Please don't defend or believe that he has nowhere to go........ Gah Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



  • You are still so young. You deserve someone that could treat you with respect.

    Get rid of him... asap.

    You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't try and find excuses for him.... there is no excuse for bad treatment.. no matter what!!

    Good luck



  • You are way to young to be treated like that! Hello! And he lives with your parents???

    ...... his jealously will not change, that is a control method. It is also mental abuse.

    There are decent men out there and when they talk to you like that from the start, dump them and find another one.

    3 requirements.....JOB, CAR, PLACE TO LIVE!!!!!

    Find one to treat you as the princess you are...Life is too short! DUMP HIM!!!!!



  • Hi, Don't ever live alone with this guy. You may not live to see your 23rd BD. So, why is everyone ignoring the obvious. Why is he allowed to be abusive towards you. Does he contribute money to the household.

    You need to get rid of him, if it isn't already too late. I don't trust people like this. I think you need a safety plan.



  • Respect is key to successful relationships... he's disrespecting you BIG TIME and you know you deserve better. I appreciate the predicament you're in with regards to living together etc, and know that it's not easy to end a long term relationship on a dime... why don't you tell him that you're tired of being spoken to like that, you don't want it any more and he has a choice... shape up or ship out!! ? That way you aren't just kicking him to the curb, but giving him a chance to see the error of his ways... if he doesn't change then move on... quickly. This isn't necessarily about your age... no-one should have to be spoken to like that! However, nip it in the bud and take control... he either pulls himself together and learns from his mistakes, or he will continue to act like a prat!... Keep your own self-respect in tact and don't allow him to wear it down!! xxx



  • Hi Molltini,

    I live with a Cancer man (32 years old) and I would like to be able to tell you that your guy with grow out of this faze or that there is a sure fire way to change his behavior. But there is not, however, I have learned that by changeing the way I react to his outbursts and insecuries, I have made life better and easier for my self. I am so in love with my guy that I was determined to find a way to deal with him. I fortunely have a niece that has been married to a cancer man for 20 years and I have gotten some valueable info from her. It will seem to others that his name calling is disrespectful, but it is actually just one of his loving ways. I use to and still do at times get upset about the names, but once my niece pointed out that that is their terms of endearment, I was able to understand him and not take it so personal. I just spend several days with my niece and her husband and I was listening and watching how they interacted. Of course, she has been with him so long now that she can tell him to back off, but even so I was able to get a much better understanding of some cancer men. Your guy sounds so much like mine and I know it is very hard to deal with his insecuries. If you truely love him, hang in there.



  • OMG, love has nothing to do with this. How could anyone beleive that allowing a man to speak so disrespectfully to them is a way of showing thier love. That's crazy talk, it's time for anyone who is experiencing this kind of mental, or physical abuse to put an end to it.

    Please, Please, listen to me, I know of what I speak. An astrological sign is no way to assess a relationship. Astrology is fun and sometimes usefull in our lives, but it should in no way guide us to staying in sick relationships. There are so many good men out there, go find one and get rid of this loser. The worst part for me was when we were told that he lives with you and your parents and he still has the guts under thier roof, to treat you this way, it's sick.

    He is a man not a child and at 22 should be able to take care of himself, no wonder he behaves the way he does, you enable him, make excuses for him, (he would have no where to go) give me a break, he will have to figure it out. When I said believe, I know of what I speak, it's because I have been where you are excluding the living with my parents scenario. After 7 years of this guys BS, I finally packed his things and sent him on his way and what shocked me the most was how releived I was that he was finally gone. After I shut the door and locked it as he left the house for the last time, I wanted to do a happy dance, in fact, if my memory serves me right I think I did!!! lol...My phone rang about an hour after I kicked him out, it was him he was crying (not such a bully when the rug got pulled out from underneath him) and he said, through his tears, where will I go? I responded with for God's sake you are and adult man, do you really need me to figure it out for you, go to a hotel and stay until you can find another place to hang your hat. I had been supporting this idiot for almost 4 of the seven years we had been together so the house we rented was in my name and my money was used to move in was mine, so he had no claims to anything, except, of course, his personal belongings. This man practically stalked me trying to get me back. All of sudden I was so important to him when just a few days prior this man was calling me ugly, hurtfull names. I was so over him, he never cared when I was the one doing all the crying while we lived together for all those years, I really felt aboslutely nothing when he was on the other end of the phone line acting like a little kid not knowing what to do, It was really pathetic.

    Do your parents know what is going on under their roof, cause let me tell you if I were them and someone was mentally abusing one of my children they would be out on their ear in a hot minute.

    Cancers can be very difficult people, but when a cancer truly loves someone, anyone else who tries to mess with their relationship is in for a big surprise from the hard loving, caring side of the crab, who will go to any length to protect and keep that relationship safe. This mans actions are not indicitive of a typical cancer, he could even become physically abusive. Save yourself, you did not say whether or not you have any children with this man, but, if you do, all the more reason to get them as far away from this man ASAP. I am not saying he should be denied the right to see his children, what I am suggesting is they stop being exposed to his behavior, children learn how life works by watching their parents, it their are children involved you are teaching this is normal in a relationship, if you can't save yourself, save your children. Anyway, I don't even know if there are children, if there aren't, get out before there is.



  • No, We don't have any kids together thank god.

    Its had not to make excuses for him because I always think of the good times and how he really can be, but then when he does get mad he turns into some kind of monster.

    My parents know about EVERYTHING and all my mom says, when I want to kick him out, "Well you're the one who brought him here." My mom is "too nice" to tell him to go. My dad wont even attempt to get rid of him.



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