I'm so oblivious lately and I'm afraid I had hurt Cancerian man
I was emotionally and mentally drained since last month I'm reading on a roller coaster all the time .
I have asked advice here most of the time and I know had received several guidance and concern from all of you. I've been to a lot in my relationship to this cancer man I was verbally abused and had treatining by him but I let him calm down and he will explained to me that he was sorry I must admit that I pushed him and annoyed him most of the time. I gain his trust and he completely telling me how life can make him emotional and keep working hard cos he wants to be better than he came from . I said to him that I'm proud of him and I want him to stick in his mind that him smart and worth it. I thought my childhood is much harder than him cos I grow up with my grandparents cos my parents always away working overseas but at least I have felt love. I've known him for nearly 3 yrs and it was only this year he open up his hurt to me I show him my patience and respect even though we do have a lot of argue and miscommunication. I do admit I always giving up but I had feelings for him and I was touch when he said to they grow up in an orphan. And I saw his tenderness and sincerely felt sorry for his self but I have to comfort him cos he have wonderful family and as far as I know that's why I do like him his family oriented. I had open myself and sharing my everything and people's matters to me and he do the same though I haven't meet his family in person but he had shown their pictures and telling a bit story about his family. I was lately getting tight to him cos I again found out that his doing something in my back I had no physical evidence but I caught him chatted to some girls . I was mad and upset but his explaining to me that that's the only thing he can do cos he hasn't had much money and it only pays his obligation and I knew it but it's makes me sick since then his always having a sign of infedility and I wonder why he had to do it while he came from broken family that he never once seeing his parents since then. I have all the passion to have my own family and I know he will be sa good father of my kids unfortunately that his very vocal that he doesn't want to settle cos he had a lots of things to do and I'm happy for him to do it and I supported him to anything he wants but sometimes
I'm getting snappy when I didn't get what I want I lately getting paranoid that he still seeing someone and I hate to hear from him that his busy and exhausted at work I do understand it sometimes but I can't keep to his reason though I know it's true. I'm getting selfish cos I had no assurance when we argue I was told by him I'm nor his gf I'm just his parthner in bed and I hated to hear that though his action doesn't makes me feel that way. We are stubborn full of pride and I should give him away but instead I'm strong things that I can feel his sensitive side . I was told by him that he can't give anything to me and His life is not the way I live that I'm highly maintenance and daddy's girl he always said to me that I'm spoiled I will admit it sometimes I must be lucky to travel most of the time but I always makes sure I do asked him if he want to come but he always refused. I'm drowning when I came back from holiday he had a lot of complain that I treat him like a shit slave, courier , driver and I'm not his the one asking it for me if he could help his happy to do that besides I only want him to be in the circle of my family and give him idea how I live my life. Instead he find me so bossy I had heaps of time having an argue with him cos his trying to pissed me off cos I always wanted my stuff but instead he will refuse my favor and always giving me hard time that even my family is getting affected cos they know that if I was involved to some my life is surround with my man. He has no idea that my family knew about him cos his a bit hesitance or felt ashamed may be but I already said to him no matter what happen everyone is welcome to my family as long as we're happy abs will not get hurt by the one we choose. He always complain of everything and he know that I do help him sometimes to his problem and in willing if I can . We had a big fight and he decided to give us space cos I having giving him to much drama and I was oblivious to asked him favor last night but he answer my SMS but it sound like I asked him question and it seems like his telling me are you want me to fix it for you since his having time out from me. And I was worried cos I don't want him to feel that I can't stand him away from him for only 4 daysc I send him email that no matter what I'm just here as his friend cos I recently feel certain that I had to go back to my life cos I was getting unprofressive and everything to my life was affected most of the time cos his to good to make me feel bad and im soft abs as much as possible I don't want him carrying more burden I actually fine if he will finished my connection but deep down inside his still the one for me if it's meant to be it will happen or may be someone will come a long the way. It's not fair if we always hurting each other feelings and I can easily put him on the spot and that's the way he always upset to me cos he thinks I used everything to him instead of closing everything and start a new beginning but up to know he can't even explained to me his being pathological liar before up to now I now let it be it's his call cos I want to focus on myself now