Hi again captain,
This question is regarding the guy I had asked you about below:
After a 3 week silence he popped out of the blue saying he really missed me and that he was sorry he was out of touch & had exams going on and wanted to see me before he flies off to visit his family this weekend. I took some time to think over it and decided I didn't feel ready to see him right now and I felt that I needed some time to mull things over so I gave him an excuse and politely said I couldn't see him before he leaves because I have this and that going on this week.
At first he was completely ok with it, but then seemed to be a little irritated by the fact that I couldn't see him which made me feel uneasy, because there is obviously a big part of me that wanted to see him! But at the same time I do understand I deserve more than someone that thinks it's ok to just pop in and out of one's life & I feel I am on the road of getting over this guy.
I guess I just want reassurance that I made the right choice not to see him this at this time? Do u think I made the right choice? Are your instincts still the same about him?
I was also wondering if you had time to briefly tell me what I can expect from the next few months in general or any advice for the coming summer months ill be overseas and moving flat during this time.
Lastly I just wanted to thank you for the advice you give out to everyone on the forum its really kind of you to take the time to write out your answers.
If you are still feeling an attraction for a wounded cheater, then you made the right choice not to see him again. You cannot be at the beck and call of a guy who just wants to use you. Until you get over this obsession with cheaters, you will always attract them and be attracted to them. You need to dig more into your relationships with your parents and find the patterns that formed in your mind back then about relationships so that you can undo that wrong thinking. You need to make this a priority if you ever want to get into another love relationship. I also feel you are too passive and tend to accept the way you are treated without much protest. You need to learn to speak up if you feel you are being treated badly, even if it ends the relationship. Being on your own is much more preferable to being with an abusive person. It's important to keep your self-respect intact. People will treat you as they want to unless you teach them to treat you well. I feel like you put everyone else before yourself because you have a service-oriented nature, and also that you are easily romantically bedazzled by someone who seems great but is really not nice at all. You need to tone down on the fantasy and get back to reality if you want to find your one true soulmate. Developing a healthy detachment will make room for love on a higher plane that is free from the dangerous escapist dependencies you tend to develop.
In 2012, home and family are highlighted. It is a time to counsel, console, guide, and give assistance to family members and friends. Some sacrifice will be asked of you in this area. The focus this year is on relationships. You are likely to find your relationship with those near and dear to you growing ever closer and stronger this year, while any relationship that is no longer of mutual benefit will come under the microscope and may actually terminate, (if it hasn’t already ended during 2011). This is a time when you may be concerned with taking care of your home, perhaps decorating, buying furniture, or even finding a new home. It is also worthwhile in 2012 to personalize your environment with family photographs, fresh flowers, or treasured objects and artifacts. Consider taking courses that focus on your own well being and balance. If you have ever wanted to paint, sing, act, or play a musical instrument for pleasure, this is also favoured this year. You may find yourself "spread thin" this year, as you will be needed in many areas. 2012 for you should be relatively free of occupational and financial problems.