Scorpio man and secrets



  • I am in the beginnings of a relationship with a Scorpio; and although we are very compatible, and get along wonderfully, I feel he may be keeping things from me. Specifically along the lines of his true feelings. It seems like he really has feelings for me, and is attracted to me, but won't really admit it. When we are alone, he is attentive and sweet and affectionate. When we are around others, though, he is kind of stand-offish and quiet. He is still sweet, but I definitely notice a difference. Recently, we started to move into a physical direction, and it was wonderful! But now he has pulled away, and almost seems afraid to be around me. He doesn't talk about personal things anymore, just superficial stuff, always joking around.

    Is this typical for Scorpios? I had always thought that they were more intense and driven to get what they want. But I read this description of Scorpio recently, and was wondering which is more correct or likely.

    "Scorpios are a secretive lot. Those around them may never know the depth of their passions. Probing the Scorpio psyche will only make them leery and cause them to flee. For Scorpios, emotions run deep, and their faculty of intuition is remarkably accurate, so their antennae can pick out a prospective partner at first sight. They need, however, to keep a part of themselves private and personal. They can react vigorously should a lover trespass in their personal domain."

    Is this probably what happened? Did I get too much in his 'personal space'? I'm confused! I haven't been in the dating world in many many years, and have forgotten what its like. 😞 I'm wondering if its worth it to try to get close to him again, or just write it off.

    Thanks.

    btw I'm a Cancer.



  • i got this off a website hope it helps

    Cancer + Scorpio

    Water + Water = Deluge

    People born under the same elements generally feel comfortable with and attracted to each other. This is the case for Cancer and Scorpio. Both of you are sensitive, emotional and caring, but Scorpio has a very different way of expressing love. Scorpio’s love is demanding, and asks a lot more in return than you can give.

    Cancer, you’ll feel that you’re showering love and kisses on Scorpio, but it’s never enough. You probably handle the possessiveness of Scorpio better than most signs, because you are an adaptable sign and can comfortably adjust to the Scorpio will.

    But Scorpio has to learn to control the desire to dominate and to push people away through sometimes unrealistic demands, both practically and emotionally. Scorpio will use power on any level to get what they want.

    Although Cancer and Scorpio are elementally well suited, both being water signs, there are differences sexually. Scorpio is driven by the purely sensual. You, Cancer need love and bonding, not just raw sex.



  • cfwRN: I am a Scorpio woman and yes what you posted about Scorpios is true for me. Even if I really liked someone I would be careful about how much I let them know it. We know that we are intense and have to hold back on our emotions to a degree so we don't freak people . I think you should hang in there with him...Scorpios value loyalty very highly so if you cut and run now he won't be impressed.

    Anyway good luck!



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  • It's true that we are mysterious but thats the fun and passionate part. I was really happy to see my girl but I didn't express myself and she felt that I didn't care. You see my problem as a scorpio is that we are a desert animal sign with an element of water. Maybe he sees you as to good to be true because after all he is a desert sign. Don't let him go easy stand up to him.



  • I am currently seeing a Scorpio man as well. I am a Pisces. Scorpios are intense to say the least. However, it seems that their intensity runs in all directions. Intense good feelings and intense bad ones. They like to be in control and if anything is happening that is causing intensely bad feelings from a situation they can't control, they tend to then control the situations in their life that they are able to. That may mean you. If something outside of your relationship happened to give him intense feelings and he can't control the situation, he may well turn around and control the situation with you...in whatever form he can. This is happening with me and my man right now. It is tough to say the least. I am hanging in there because there are so many other qualities to him that I adore. However, I realize that this quality of control and intense feelings will result in behaviors like what we are going through. If this is too much for you to deal with, don't continue. If you see other aspects to him that you like and can deal with this issue, then by all means, keep going. You have to decide what you can deal with and what you can't. This is one Scorpio aspect that won't go away and will be an issue at intervals throughout life with a Scorpio man.



  • P.S. Oh, and for the secrets? ABSOLUTELY!!!! Not in the sense of secrets intended to hurt you, but they have such a depth of feeling that revealing all that is too much for them it seems. That is another aspect you will have to decide if you can live with. And their secrecy will fluctuate. Good times will be very good. Bad times will be very difficult. There isn't much of a middle ground with Scorpios. It is either intensely good, or intensely difficult. Intensity and secrecy are two key aspects to Scorpios that lots of people tend to have a tough time with. Even in the intensely difficult times they will still love you. It just won't be as apparent. If you are someone who needs consistent responses from a man, you won't find that in a Scorpio. With them, you relish the good times and use the memories from them to get through the difficult times. Good luck.



  • This is the second time in my life I have dated a Scorpio man. One thing for sure, you are guaranteed not to forget the intensity of relational commitment that most certainly is required to endure. Because I was so young with the first scorpio man in my life (my first love), I have analyzed and quantified, as a young virgo would, the experience, and coined it to mirror romeo and juliet, "the forbidden love", or bonnie and clyde, "us against the world", mentality. Ten years later, I have encountered the second, current, scorpio man in my life. His ability to say all the words that speak his heart and give voice to the companionship I long for, leaves me breathless. at times I could melt from his ability to speak intimate sweet nothings in my ear. In return, I profess my heart, my love, my loyalty, openly... and sometimes, in response, a silence... a breath that seems to verberate in my head..."got you". There is the scorpio control...say whatever needs to be said to seal the deal. If you don't mind playing the game and playing victim sometimes but then serving them a big dose of fiesty responses that are equaly intense, then by all means, stay in the game. I wouldn't trade my Scorpio guy for anything, the great part is that we both know he is not the greatest thing in the world (all the time), but that's ok, even if its just our little secret!! Adoringly, a Virgo Girl ;*)



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  • Dogrescue really nailed it. I am Cancer and was in two relationships with Scorpios (one 4 years and later married to one for 13 years). Personally, I hope I never get involved with a Scorp again. One way or another mine both twisted things around to keep me under control and right where they thought I ought to be - according to what suited their needs of course. Scorps can resort to making cruel comments to make you feel small and incompetent, and subtly lead you to a place of trying to please them - as if you are the one who has a problem, not them. They dole out what affection suits them leaving you to just "intuit" that anything more is there. They are aloof and indifferent when you are in public together. Oh the pain I've seen trying to figure out the mind of the scorpio male. Why did I ever marry one? I nearly did break it off a week before the wedding...the red flags were waving in my face. Live and learn...

    The only good thing I will say is that my Scorp husband was a good provider (finance guy of course) and materially I wanted for nothing. There was passion in bed, but none that ever really felt like an emotional connection - more physical and generally designed to please him. Sadly, it doesn't feel very good to be kept like a pet, I often envisioned myself like a pretty bird in a cage. I finally thought I would explode if I lived one more second with his oppressive control and we ended up divorced.

    I left the previous 4-year relationship with a Scorp because he couldn't ever commit to his feelings for me. All that time and he never could say one way or another where we were headed. I figured 4 years of my life had been long enough wasted with that relationship as well and left him, but in considerable angst over doing so. I just couldn't live with him, couldn't live without him, but eventually had to let it go to get out of the pain he caused me with his indifference. In the end both of my Scorps professed to still care about me, love me, but honestly the price for their love felt like a complete sacrifice of myself and constantly living in uncertainty because they seem incapable of deep intimacy (hiding their vulnerabilities I suppose).

    We Cancers may be understanding, sympathetic and nurturing, but do not forget that we are a Cardinal sign and when push comes to shove, that characteristic WILL come out. We are controllers/leaders of our own sort, but I will hope of a more altruistic nature - looking to manifest things for the benefit of our family, friends and the rest of the world, not to satisfy our personal ego.

    I know that astrologically Scorps and Cancer are supposed to be a good match, but based on my personal experience I would say proceed with caution....and know too that a Scorpio who feels he has been wronged will not rest until he feels vindicated. You will bear the punishment if he thinks you need it, and it will be merciless. Sorry to be so negative, but my experiences with Scops have been very toxic. I think that they are better suited to signs that stand up for themselves, like Taurus or Sags. Cancers may just be a little too emotional for these guys .



  • Hi I'm a Gemini Women that thrives on communication, this is a very tough area for the Scorpio Man, I have been dating, to some degree, it seems as its on sometimes then off, I'm not sure if he really wants to only date me, and he is very secretive as well, along with the non communication and the me time he takes, its been puzzling. which keeps both of us wondering. we haven't talk for more than a week, is he not interested, I do care for him a lot. The time we spend together is wonderful. I don't know if I could have a better time with someone else. its been about 9 months and I don't know if its time to let go. Contradictory to my sign I am very loyal. however I can detach myself from a person emotionally if I feel, they are not interested. And still love them very much at the same time ( that's twin power for you..lol). I don't like to smother people. but I appreciate a man who is attentive. what to do??? is there any Gemini Scorpio Combos out there. Is he interested. PLEEEEEESE Let me Know.



  • Hi I'm a Gemini Women that thrives on communication, this is a very tough area for the Scorpio Man, I have been dating, to some degree, it seems as its on sometimes then off, I'm not sure if he really wants to only date me, and he is very secretive as well, along with the non communication and the me time he takes, its been puzzling. which keeps both of us wondering. we haven't talk for more than a week, is he not interested, I do care for him a lot. The time we spend together is wonderful. I don't know if I could have a better time with someone else. its been about 9 months and I don't know if its time to let go. Contradictory to my sign I am very loyal. however I can detach myself from a person emotionally if I feel, they are not interested. And still love them very much at the same time ( that's twin power for you..lol). I don't like to smother people. but I appreciate a man who is attentive. what to do??? is there any Gemini Scorpio Combos out there. Is he interested. PLEEEEEESE Let me Know.

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  • JENEVER 7....Sorry your experiences were so bad with Scorp men. I do understand though that is for sure. While Pisces is my sun sign, my ascendant is Cancer, so I get where you are coming from. It is tough to be with a Scorpio. I won't deny that. And my guy is not only a Scorpio Sun sign, but was born at sunrise, so his ascendant is Scorpio too. He is double. 🙂 Maybe that is why I hit the nail on the head. Good luck with the next guy and may he NOT be a Scorpio. 🙂

    For those out there who want to tough it out with a Scorpio, if you manage to get down to where the true person is...beyond the control, the fear, the self doubt that Scorps often contend with, you will more than likely find a great person. It isn't easy getting there and more often than not, you won't get that deeply into a Scorpio's soul. But I have certainly seen glimpses of it with my man...he has cracked the door for me a few times. And he admitted he hasn't ever done that for anyone and to do it for me was difficult...but what lies behind that door is an amazing person. If you are lucky enough to be with a Scorp and see that, be honored. If you don't get through all the surface "junk", would not be a good relationship to be in.



  • Hi everyone, thanks for the input!

    I really don't know whether this is worth it or not. My last ltr was with an Aquarius, and there were a lot of problems. I don't know if I'm willing to deal with more secrets, controlling behavior, or distantness. My Scorp is a nice guy most of the time, but when he's not...it's too much. Right now I haven't spoken to him in a week; not by my choice, but because it seems like I must have done something 'wrong', at least in his mind. I was hoping this was just because he wasn't sure where we are in our relationship yet, but the more I read, the more nervous I get. I don't want a relationship where I have to watch everything I do or say, just so he won't turn on me.



  • crwRN: I understand. This past weekend was the first time I talked to my guy in a week as well. I text him everyday and more than not don't get a response. But I know that when he does respond and when I do see him, he truly is there. So...Scorp men certainly aren't for everyone. And sometimes I wonder if he is for me too. 🙂 And truly, if you are in doubt, my advice is to move on. It won't be easy and there are no guarantees with a Scorp. This may be a really great man, but...if you are doubtful this early in the relationship, it won't get easier. Good luck to you!!!!!



  • crwRN

    I am in the beginnings of a relationship with a Scorpio also and although we are compatible, and get along wonderfully, I feel he may be keeping things from me. Specifically along the lines of his true feelings. It seems like he really has feelings for me, and is attracted to me, but won't really admit it and says we are good friends and does not want to commit and does not anyone to know we are seeing each other because he very private and that alright with me but I just left a relationship of 12yrs and am very confused if am doing the right thing hurting this other person who I still have feelings for but not like I di for this new person who makes me to feel satisfied in bed . When we are alone, he is attentive and sweet and affectionate. When we are around others, though, he is kind of stand-offish and quiet but when no one looking he very flirtasious He is still sweet, but I definitely notice a difference. . Am a Sag r we a perfect fit



  • I am a Libra woman who has been in an on/off relationship with a Scorpio man for the last 5 years. The "off" part always at his instigation. I have had the happiest times of my life with him, but also the worst, and have never cried so much in my entire life. I got used to the waiting for him to get in touch, used to his insecurities, his controlling ways, and his secretive ways. But I also got used to the complete adoration from him when I was in favour, and the displays of remorse and vulnerability too. I remained loyal to him always throughout, yet knew he wasn't always loyal to me. I am constantly surprised at his indecision, wanting to settle with me one minute, then dropping me like a hot potato the next. During our times apart I am often wakened at 4am by a drunken text telling me he misses/loves me/needs me, and I believe him but he is incapable of telling me sober. Despite all of this, I completely adore him and am in this for the long haul. Today he told me we are over. AGAIN. But after being with this man, no other will do, so I will wait, patiently until the next drunken text, asking to see me. Whether it takes weeks months or years I will still be waiting. Look out, because once you have been snagged on those Scorpio pincers you will never escape!! Nor will you want to. Wish me luck!!!!



  • Lolpet, I do wish you luck. I don't know how you put up with all that and from the outside it appears very cruel on his part. Please read my previous post on my experiences with Scorpios. I had counseling during the time I was working up to my divorce and what you are describing here actually sounds unhealthy. Read up on co-dependency. He has you in a place where he "owns" you and you accept it. Maybe that's enough for you and maybe that's some version of "love", but honestly I couldn't help but speak up on this.

    These kinds of mental games during my marriage took a huge hit on my self-esteem that was gradual and deep. My counselors last words of advice were, "you need to raise your standards on what is acceptable in a relationship". I'll pose to you the same question to ponder that she asked me: "what is the worst thing this man could do to you that would cause you to leave him?" (I will share with you that my answer was "if he hit me I'd be outta there". The implication is that any form of bad behavior or mental/emotional abuse other than outright slugging me was forgivable. It's not.) Please think about this Lolpet. I don't like being harsh, but something in all this makes me feel that you deserve much better.



  • Thank you so much for your concern, and I don't think you are being harsh at all, just very honest. I agree, he could be cruel, and once actually did physically hurt me when he was under the influence, but was so ashamed and full of remorse that I forgave him and it has never happened again. He is always thanking me for "putting up with him" and I know he is aware of his faults, telling me I am going to be his salvation. I also know that he can't or won't stay away. I didn't contact him once during last split (over 5 month period) but every 5 or 6 weeks he would text to tell me he missed me until eventually I caved and saw him. He is such a sweet person, and very loving but I am under no illusion that life with him would be not be easy. I was with someone before him for many years who was reliable and caring, but who treated me as part of the furniture to the point where I felt I didn't exist. I know I am getting the wrong type of attention from Scorpio man, but I feel alive and content when I am with him. I also know that if any of my friends came to me for advice (which they do regularly) and were in the same situation, I would be the first to urge them to get out and stay out! I have to put my hand on my heart and say that I have become a more resilient person since I met him, through necessity, not choice. I know I deserve better, but I want it to come from him. For now. But I won't wait forever.



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