I am in pain and troubled please help
I lost my nearly 3 year relationship because of a third party,,my birthday sept 18,1969,my bf's bdat feb 27 1967,please please help me,i really need advice,thanks..
watergirl18 last edited by
So much of what is coming through for you is about regaining emotional balance as you are upset and understandably so. But also coming through is that this relationship is something you need to release. I know it is always our first impulse to blame the 3rd person involved, but this is really about the two of you and not her. If things were going well between the two of you and the relatinship was happy and balanced, he would not have wandered off to someone else. Right now he is caught up in the physical desire of this new person, but more importantly it feels like the reason is that he saw too many obstacles and challenges to his relationship with you. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or that you are not good enough...just that the relationship was no longer in your highest good. I am getting dominance and passivity. This could be a message to you about beefing up your own male energy. Were you too needy or dependent on this man? Or was the domineering party you? Regardless, do your best to surrender this to whatever higher power you believe in and be good to yourself while you go through this healing period.
thanks so much ms watergirl for ur reply,yes i am trying so hard to regain my emotional balance,an i also know that this relationship is something i need to release for my i own good,i am really trying myself to convince myself with that.but what confused me is,he keeps on communicating with me,it seems he doesnt want cut the ties with me totally,even if i told him that i couldnt take it anymore.he's playing a double game with me.and i am really not sure of his intentions..does he still loves me?.i want ur further enlightenment about this...but first i want to tell you the whole story..
we were asians....we were high schoolmates that met each other again in the country he's currently working that was year 2009.since we met he had promised me everything and made me think it was a relationship to last a lifetime.,we had ups and downs but somehow i thought it's normal in every relationship.and you were right. again about dominance and passivity.i surrendered my whole self with him.whatever he wants i will do to him...except for one...he wanted me to work on that country but i have a son from a past relationship that i couldnt leave for a long period of time.so what i did was i divided myself between them,actually not equally because sometimes i stayed longer with him than with my son..and you were right again about he saw many obstacle and challenges in his relationship with me but the problem is not with me correct me if i am wrong here but he's hooked in a casino.i am his control.that;s the reason maybe he wanted me to find a job there and stayed.but the idea changed when a particular woman from US also from our hometown told him she got a biggest crush on him when they were young and asked him if he could meet her on a holiday in our birthcountry..he was overwhelmed and got excited because the woman promised she will help him on his plan on applying a visa for US by sending him money and a plane ticket.again without thinking he gotten himself too excited that he could go to US.he told me he was so desperate to go out because it's really hard for him to control his gambling...he even told me that if it will work out ok he will just work and save money, after 5yrs he'll beback and stay for good.the woman is very much married to a western man.you were right that i blamed the woman involved,but i cant helped it.i was able to talked with her before and asked her not to talk with him anymore coz i know he's being tempted.that time i know his intention was clear,he'll do his best to get out of his mess..that time he's talkin not only to her,they were four,the one is from vienna,one in london and another on in israel i think,but the one in US took the bait.
i think i am not the one needy or dependent ....coz he's impulsive..he decides without thinking the pros and cons,without consulting me,but then when something went wrong thats the time he'll asked me or tell me "what should i do now".i was always ready to the rescue.i am independent,i earned money for myself and my son.i am hardheaded sometimes but i always gave in to what he wants because i loved him so much.i know he's also confused right now,in fact we had an arguement last sat.he told me he doesnt want to quarelled withme but i couldnt helped myself and blah blah blah him...told him that if he wants her,leave me alone for good....before he has so much pride but it will only gotten 2 or 3 days he will buzz or send me message on messenger...i am really confused,if you dont mind please do me a further reading.the girl is in US.they are also miles apart....thanks so much