Sensitive Cancer man? I think not.....
I met a Cancerian man online and we struck up a quick friendship. It advanced to phone calls where for a month and a half we got to know each other. I live in Texas he lives in California. We became closer emotionally, discussing a long distance relationship, he encouraged me to "take a leap of faith". He said he had no problems with a long distance relationship. I was willing to try it. As we evolved he told me he now loved me and I returned the sentiment feeling secure in his feelings and integrity. He holds a good job has 2 pre teen boys and seemed emotionally available. Recently he said his sister was being psycho again and he wanted to get a restraining order to keep her away from him and his kids, I listened and gave him words of understanding. Then almost 2 weeks ago he stopped communicating with me, doesn't return texts, emails or phone calls. I spoke with a couple different psychics who told me he was in some turmoil and depressed but that he will call, its been a week and nothing. I am blown away that this man I trusted my ravaged heart to could be so callous. What should I do... listen to the psychics and just wait...how long should I wait....it's already hurt me and maybe changed my feelings toward him. On the other hand should I give him the benefit of the doubt and follow psychic insight? I am so confused and saddened...... so much for all cancers being sensitive healers....
Here is where the old saying, "If it seems to good to be true, then it is probably not true." Look the internet is the perfect breading ground for people like this guy. He has probably not been truthfull all along. It makes no difference how you decide to handle this, it won't change it's outcome. Fate is fate, we can't control it, or will it to be true.
I am sorry your heart is broken, but really now, think about it, you existed long before this pen pal was in your life. Go back to the time before you ever knew this man and find the old you. You're still in there you just need to wake up and get back to reality.
Being a Cancer and an astrologer, I'd give it a chance. It has only been 2 weeks. "2 weeks!!", I can hear every woman shriek. Hey, he is a heterosexual guy, I assume! As a Cancer, and having been married to a Cancer, I can tell you that we absolutely 100% need time to warm up to someone. We need to get used to them, have them close, but not too close! We are even more sensitive than Pisces, if that is humanly possible. He may fear rejection. One declaration of love will never be enough. We were born to handle long distance relationships. I commute overseas to see my fiance, a Pisces, so I believe it when your Cancer man was ready to take a leap of faith. If he's a true Cancer, or has Venus and/or Mars there, too, he can definitely handle long distance.
You just said his sister "was acting psycho again" and he is taking out a TRO "to protect himself and his sons"? Family is either the most important and helpful or the absolutely most destructive element in our lives. I can completely understand this! Sounds like he and I have the same family dynamics.... completely destructive ones. There's nothing that wil quell ardor faster for us than our family causing us heartbreak. Been there, done that, don't even have the T-shirt! Nothing like having a sibling screw up your life. He may want to love you in the midst of turmoil, but he may need to disappear into his protective shell. Ohhh, how often I have had to do that to survive my toxic family. But we do come back out again.
If you love him, you'll provide the compassion and understanding when this happens. 2 weeks is nothing for a water sign, especially a male water sign. If this is too much for you, then so is the relationship with Mr. Cancer. No blame, just the truth.. But if you can handle the waiting out, your needs will be taken care of more tenderly than you'd ever imagined. Sure, he may be one of the many sociopaths on dating services, and in that case, cut your losses and run.... but he may have told you the truth about his birthdate, and this is a preview of coming attractions. Have you actually seen him and spent time with him physically? Or is he a pen pal? If you've spent time with him in the flesh, you'll know.
The need to be extroverted and relate, and the need to withdraw when hurt is our pattern. It's life with a Cancer. It's a lot to take, but we give more than any other sign, save Pisces. It's not for every woman, but if you're strong and sensitive, it'll work.
Wishing you the best, and hang in there!
Thank God that he saved you before you got attached to him anymore. Do you think his sister wacked him. I don't know
My ex-husband had a brother that was dangerous at times. Had to live at the State Hospital for 13 years. God saved me from him once--long story. My ex-husband was a Cancer and he never abandoned the scene. I just couldn't celebrate the fact that he became a full-blown alcoholic (along with his family, of course.) Haven't had any luck w/Cancers.
Hello Everyyone ,
I wish to add to this thread,Thank You
For Cali gal, I'm so sorry you are feeling hurt & confused~~ you need not worry~~ there's reason why your man hasn't called~~ have you called him ~ ???
Though you have Great suggestions here by the other members on this thread ~~
MY own Intuition tells me that your Cancerian Guy is hurting & is in turmoil over his Psycho sister & NOOOOO i doubt very much that she wacked hmi off ..LOL
Though a note or E message would have solved all worry ~~would it be so wrong if you posted him a love message of concern ~~!!! & SEE HOW THAT GOES !!!!!
this is True for Cancerians
Tho i am female ( Cancerian) I would always call or leave some kind of message for my partner/ lover // mate .... especially if i were in some personal family crisis...
All that i can say is ~ once the Air clears with your Cancer Man~ you both will develop a much more harmonious & balanced love & life connection together...... please trust with your Gut Intuition We all are blessed with this gift ~~ give this relationship another Try !!!
sending you love angels to open up communications between you 2
peace peace peace love love love
Unfortunately, people have hidden agendas. They say what they think you want to hear ("I love you" is usually the biggest lie that serves that purpose), but let's face it; the guy's obviously hiding something or he just got cold feet on the long distance relationship deal. The fact that he didn't even have the backbone to tell you directly shows you his level of honesty & integrity. You should be glad he's gone. If he ever contacts you again, I'd be very wary of his motives & would have a tough time trusting him. He makes all Cancers look bad. He's a LOSER*
*Personal opinon which may not be shared by others
Let's not jump to wild Vicious rumors ~~ being that the two are on a long distance relationship, & they have yet to meet ~~ there is still a chance for them to get to know each other ~~ afterall the Cancerian has some kind of family crisis & his thoughts are on his sister )) allow him to get passed his ordeal ~~~ when & if he is back to his normalcy Cancerian Life~~ & if his GF is patient and understanding ~ I believe their relationship will flourish & grow.... xoxoxo sending sngels to the Cancerian guy hoping is is well & safe
I think he will deffinately return, I won't speculate is on reasons or his charecter, or his true feelings for you. I will say that if you decide to accept him when he returns, you're on notice... accept that he will do the whodini routine at will and consider if you are gonig to be able to handle it
God i sympathise, not knowing kills!!! im sort of in a hanging around situ with a cancer guy iv just met, though.... lol i havent heard from him in just 2 days, i dont know what to tell you, other than be careful, put YOURSELF first always, thogh if you have really stong feelings perhaps wait a little longer or as suggested send an email soon, but nothing more. Usually when we start to concentrate on ourselves our own lives and focusing on doing things that are good for us we get some perspective back, but hang on a while longer but also carry on with your life and enjoy planning things that will move you foward should it all not work out the way you hope, but im keeping my fingers crossed for you and him, ((hugs(((.
If he can't, at least, send an e-mail to let you know he's still alive then forget him.
Here's my unsolicited input on this. RUN. RUN NOW. I don't know if you have spent alot of time here, but the majority of posts are women posting about their immature, insensitive and inconsiderate Cancer men. I know, cuz I am one of them. Let me tell you what my "wonderful" Cancer BOY did - Hot and Heavy for four months, got scared, told me he didn't love me and then kicked me to the curb. BEGGED me to take him back two weeks later. I considered it for a couple of weeks, but decided to take it SLOW. another 5 months go by, kicks me to the curb again - only THIS time, no warning, no nothing, no contact whatsoever. Then he calls me up about two months ago, finally tells me what had been going on with him and WHY he "couldn't even talk" to me about it. I gave him yet another chance.
Now I am 7 weeks pregnant and a week and a half ago, when I told, I got the "I'm not ready, I care about alot, BUT I DON'T LOVE YOU" speech for the second time and haven't heard from him since. I suspect he's gone back to whoever he was with while he wasn't talking to me, thinking that it's all just going to go away. I have spent money of psychics and they have ALL told me he's lying, he loves YOU and ONLY YOU and he's just not mature enough and feels like a loser. Although I love him very much and couldn't think of a better genetic match for me in having a kid, I won't hold my breath. He has proven to me time and time again that he (along with all the OTHER Cancers that posters cry about on this board) is too immature and selfish to wait around for.
I'm trying not to sound bitter about this, but you must know what you are up against. If it were up to me, I would have let him go the first time around. I didn't learn my lesson and now I will need to figure out how my broke butt is going to raise a child without him being in their life. Don't ever put yourself after ANY man - regardless of their astrological sign. The only person that knows what's right for you, is you.
Take care of yourself first.
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU WHOOO.......
PLEASE DON'T PUT BLAME ON THE OTHER BECAUSE YOU LACKED COMMON SENSE IN FIGURING OUT WHAT OR WHO YOU WANTED IN YOUR LIFE~~~ NEITHER ONE IS WRONG OR RIGHT ~~~ HE DID WHAT HE DID ~ AND YOU ALLOWED AND ACCEPTED ~
PERIOD ~~~ THERE'S A BABY ON THE WAY~ WAKE UP ~~ IT'S ( BOTH ) OF YOUR RESPONSIBILTY NOW... NOT JUST YOURS ALONE ~~~ HE CONTRIBUTED HIS LOVELY MANLY SPERMS ~~~ HE IS NOW TIED FOR EVER TO THAT BABY ~~~~~ WETHER HE IS IN THAT CHILDS LIFE OR NOT ~~~ HE WILL HELP RAISE FEED & CLOTHE THE CHILD ~~~
TILL IT'S 21......
CANCER MAN WANTS PROOF IF THAT IS HIS BABY OKAY .....D N A TEST.... IS THAT ENOUGH PROOF ..
wow - Mille feori - can you calm down the all caps - it's considered shouting (if you didn't know). There's FAR MORE to my story than what I posted, so please do not chastise me or yell at me because of what I wrote. My story is not about lacking common sense - so you are wrong yet again. Additionally, there is no question from him that the child is his, that is not the problem. The problem with my cancer boy is that he is irresponsible, immature and selfish. Plain and simple.
If anyone goes through and reads these posts about Cancer men - they will realize that Cancer men need down time, all the time and at their discretion without any regard as to how it affects the other person. In my boys' mind - he thinks not talking to me for two months is like not talking to me for a couple of days. That is his "real-time", but not anyone else's. My whole point to the original poster is that she needs to realize what she is getting herself into.
OOOH Paula, i wasn't shouting LOL I was being HEARD.... That is part of my Cancerian mood... LOL Chill okay...
if i really wanted to Pick at you, I would have added some Juicy Choice words only fit for the most unimaginable Bastids and biatches ~~~~ So you see Dear One~ I wished to be Heard~~~ Caps for some might be considered Shouting ~ but let's first read what the poster is sharing ~ for me TYPE or CAP Letters~ makes no difference ~~
As long as there are no cuss vulgar or name calling on that post ~~ Then, All is cool in my Cyber World.... !!!!!
OOOps sorry Well anyways, what ever is going on with your C-boy ~ he is somehow suffering just the same~ no one NOT Even A Cancer would that much effort on the negative & get nothing back for it~~ ... By him staying away~ solves nothing BUT keeeping two people away from each other ~~~
SAD & I hope you finally get ome answers & some kind of update & news rom him !!!
I have no idea what the hell Mille is trying to say....I don't even know how to respond on this thread anymore.
Except that everyone always thinks the guy they like is it for them at the moment. But there are lots of guys for you. I can't tell you how many times I was like "No, I have to keep trying with this guy, he's perfect, blah blah..." and then it's finally over and like two months later I find someone even better, and I'm like "Wow, why the hell did I think he was the be all end all? Psh!"
So, just keep in mind, that if this guy is driving you nuts....there is someone out there who won't. And you'll like him even more for it. Hopefully you can take this advice, cause feck, I sure can't!
Glad that you have no **** -ing idea what I'm talking about, LOL It figures how some people just don't *GET IT * LOL ~~~~ No Worries~~ in a few years You'll Be getting it ~
I am for the positive side of life~ To Not Give Up ~ if there's some kind of spark there still ~~there's going to be a flame still burning ~~
sometimes old Love Flames that did not work out in the past ~ come back to reunite~ & i have seen & heard of these Sparks of flame~~ & it's awesome & sweet..... xoxoxox
After reading all the comments on this thread, I'd like to respond to the original poster, Ragtopcaligirl. This is a long post, since I want to respond astrologically and personally, so bear with me.
My take on Cancer energy; they and the other two water signs are certainly the most emotionally sensitive of the zodiac. Cancers are not more sensitive, just sensitive in a more obvious and direct way, since they are the beginning water energy, the personal. Any Scorpio on the planet would tell you they're highly sensitive and feel everything, but they are also better protected, and have carried the personal energy of Cancer to an interpersonal level. And Pisceans are easily the most evolved water, though less directly sensitive, because they are the transpersonal aspect of water. They feel the soul pain of the world, but are usually less emotionally involved because of this.
This seems to make Cancerians an ideal choice in love relationships, but one must consider that they are the first water, and thus carry a level of immaturity by the very energetic definition of the sign. This is what they've come here to do; to learn to nurture themselves and create a loving and nurturing home. Then they can really move into their own gifts, and share that in a way that can make a woman feel more loved than she ever has thought capable before.
But like any other sign, they have their struggles. I will tell you in my own experience of Cancers that if they, the ones who must learn to mother and nurture, were not properly mothered or nurtured themselves, they carry the deepest wound imaginable. If they were abused or neglected they carry a cross of abandonment that must eventually be dealt with. I've witnessed this with Cancer Moon and Asc, as well. Then, a whole host of issues can arise that are then brought into relationship to be healed.
On a personal level, it sounds as if the Cancer man needing a protection from abuse order has deep familial issues. Perhaps this is his core wounding, and he is tending to it. Cancers have a tendency to withdraw into their shell when this happens, and a week or two is not unusual. But that, as I see it, is not really the issue. He seems to be doing exactly what he needs or wants to for himself. Your feelings apparently don't enter into it.
What I see is a boundary-blurred romantic attachment to someone that you've never met. You've given over a level of your own power, and now feel a void because of it. Cancer men can give unparalleled support, but wounded Cancers require a level of support and mothering that is on-going until they learn to do it for themselves. This requires a huge emotional committment, and a level of deep internal security which requires little to no outside validation. He needs a mother, not a wife, since I don't know anyone who doesn't require some type of validation and support in a romantic relationship. I'm not certain that you would make the choice to stay in this relationship given all the information obviously lacking from his end.
I understand the hope and feelings of love and excitement. But the facts are these...he hasn't contacted you at all. And we don't really know anything about him except that he is dealing with a deep wounding pattern and doesn't have the ability to, or trust within himself, to share it. Unless you are willing to carry this pattern for him (and why on earth should you?) then let it go. Focus on yourself, and the emotions this brings up in you. Lead the overflowing emotional intensity you've poured out to him back to your own heart, and nurture yourself with it. Call your energy back, and see what rich and fertile things you've opened within yourself.
Leave him be. If he is the right man for you, he'll do his own emotional work and be able to be the man you truly desire. If not, you'll sill have been given the gift of learning how to self-nurture, and make good choices in relationship.
Best of luck to you.
No, Mille. It's not that I don't understand because I don't have experience, I don't understand because you obviously have a very hard time writing. LOL~~~~!!!! LIKE THIS OMGIE!!!~
HAHAHA~COME ON YOU UNDERSTAND RIGHT!???K*****
awalkerbetweenworlds -Wow, nicely said. I've noticed in these threads that the majority of problems from Cancers comes from ones who have been divorced, cheated on, or had serious family problems. It really does seem like they get scarred easily. I have quite a few Cancer friends who are perfectly stable emotionally and they have never given any of their partners any problems like the one's quite a few people face on this forum.
P.s. I hate to sound mean ragging on Mille, it's just it really gets me angry when people step in and start telling other people about their lives and how they should think. Especially when that person is in a sensitive situation like paulaj. Ugh.