Taurus man and my awful wish



  • i really need help please, i am a sagittarius girl and i LOVE my taurus bf to his innermost depths, our personalities fit very much our corresponding signs so that´s why i´m asking here. like i said i love him But I CAN´T stop wanting this: i want to be unfaithful to him, sexually, not sentimentally. I am obsessed with the idea! it´s constantly present that feeling and wish in my mind for sticking to other guys right before his very eyes! i can´t stop it, its driving me crazy, it´s stronger than me, and i´ve been feeling this need for a very long time now.

    I´ve tried to look some possible reasons that explain this madness but i don´t find one that satisfies me enough. i thought maybe it´s because he´s much older than me hence he´s more experienced and that switch on a hidden jealousy in me and then i want to do that as an unfair "revenge".

    I don´t know, he says i am very insurgent with him and he scolds me often for tiny not important things, it´s like we´re triggering eachother all the time because we´re very different, but never cheated him at all. He loves me, i love him, everyday is heated and normal but... oh man when i see the tiniest chance to flirt with a guy in front of him! i try to do it(the flirt) and you can picture the side effects of it... silent needles in his eyes and scolding some days after.

    i need advice, in my mind i don´t want to cheat him because for me he´s the alpha male and only one, but i feel like i want to do that "revenge" A LOT! i don´t know how to get away that thing from my head, or what is the reason of it and i am afraid of even trying because the penalty for it could be devastating... right? i am losing any common sense i could have...



  • You don't feel equal in this relationship and want to bring your BF down a notch by showing him you can 'take him or leave him' or go with someone else. It's a dangerous game that might leave you all alone. So you need to talk to him about how small or young he makes you feel sometimes, rather than exacting revenge on him. That would prove to him and yourself that you can take the more mature way. And you also need to stop seeing him as the 'alpha male' because part of you will be wanting him to treat you as an inferior because it excites you.



  • thanks i think you´re right but i don´t feel very happy with his attitude now anyway and i know he won´t change although i talk to him about it. I doubt he will listen to me. It´s like the only way to make him realise. I also would like to know the real reason why i feel this urge because i love him a lot so i shouldn´t feel this way.



  • Love is not always perfect. You feel that your partner looks down on you so you want to cheat to teach him a lesson. You both need to stop this behaviour or your relationship will be destroyed. You have to give each other the chance to change by communicating your feelings openly. If you can't talk to this man you say you love, then you will be unable to sustain a good relationship with him. Communication and trust and sharing is key to a relationship's health and survival. If you cheat, he will never trust you completely again. if he keeps treating you like a child or an inferior person, he will lose your respect and liking.



  • Your just rebelling against him, mind you how old are you?

    Grow up and realise if you arent going to be honest with him and talk to him then you really have no relationship at all. Get over yourself.



  • Peer452, does any aspect of this relationship remind you of a relationship between/with your parents ? Does any aspect of his personality remind you of someone you are angry at and want subconsciously to punish? Can it be that this attitude has more to do with the emotional baggage from your past, rather than his "experience" ?



  • I am grown up enough don´t be fooled by my enthusiasm. I know it sounds rebelling, childish and it is, but i mean this urge i can FEEL all the time for years now, i want it to end. We´re fine in our daily life there is not really much to complain but he is that square and always have to get his way so it pushes me to wish certain things. I am not the only complaining about his behaviour anyway, some friends of him say it too, he never give in even if someone prove he´s wrong.

    VoplySoply: in fact sometimes i feel like his child instead his girl but because he treats everyone like that, not just me. And no, i don´t think he reminds me of somebody else, i don´t keep grudges with anybody from past so it couldn´t be that, i can see him clearly as himself i couldn´t compare. I am almost certain it is because past experience, he never talk about such so my imagination explodes, if that were the point then i am troubled i know, but it is not convincing yet anyway...



  • Do you realise that it's not his fault that he is older than you and naturally has more history ? I wonder, would it make you feel better if he was constantly talking about his past experiences ? Would it not make you feel more insecure, instead of less ? Would it not make you want to "compete" with ex girl-friends ? Also, did you ever feel jealous with your previous partners ? Do you feel like you are not getting enough attention from him or anyone else in your life ? Is it possible that he treats you as a child as a result of what he perceives as childish behaviour ? All these questions are worth exploring if you want to understand your urges. I think you need to work on your self esteem, so that it wouldn't depend on how much attention you are getting from him. Probably insecurity is at the root of this wish for "revenge" - that would be my guess, anyway.



  • As for him being stubborn - well, Tauruses are supposed to be stubborn, take it or leave it. Again - you need to invest into yourself, your self expression and emotional/mental independence. You don't have to make HIM see the light, all you have to do is to value yourself and your opinions enough to live YOUR life the way YOU want it. Then there wouldn't be a need for rebellion.



  • VoplySoply i understand your point you explained it very well, though it´s not all like that. I never been jealous before with a guy(maybe because i didn´t fall) and i understand of course his past lovers i don´t mind about that, if only that would make him more mature about relationships so in that matter i should be grateful. I don´t want him to be talking about his experiences all time but it is a bit strange he never wants to mention something about it, anyway that cannot the problem really. I don´t really mind what he did, is what he does NOW. I get a lot of attention from him, but he never gives in about something i could propose in order to share together something that i said, it´s his attitude what bothers me. It bothers me and would bother anybody who is around.

    I fell in love for what he is knowing his perpetual stubborness but there are limits... my behavior is not childish but it´s i suppose a bit bold sometimes, i am twentyfive and he´s thirtyeight and we´ve been together for about three years now, it´s a long time so if he really saw me as a child(wich i am not) i don´t think we´d have lasted this long. The only babyish thing there is my stupid wish(that very well i punctuated as awful)but he drove me to that! you are right that it have to do with insecurity, who has not insecurities? i try to work on myself because i am conscious but he is TOO self-confident and he´s not always right. I adore his every trait but what about listening a little more who cares for you?



  • What's the saying? "youth is wasted on the young". You need therapy. Your compulsion to flirt and thoughts of betrayal will become a self fulfilling prophecy if you don't get help. His age behavior and attitude is not the problem, how you are choosing to respond IS. You started out asking for advice and then when you got some you started making him the problem. He is not the problem. Take some responsibility for your thoughts. Good luck.

    P



  • I absolutely know the problem is in me! i stated that and keep it, but i also know i am not acting all that bad, i am not doing anything yet the only flirting done was after a dinner from his work(and i won´t do it again for my own sake...i paid it hard) Only would ask for some cooperation from him to listen to others around him a little more too, age doesn´t give you the right to make of yourself the spokesman of truth.


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